After Getting Gayified, I Swore Off Parody MashupsCh28 - Your body language exposes what your words don’t

[title cont. ‘And right there you change your mind.’]

  f3Qdog

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After packing our luggage, we sat on the plane for Yunnan to shoot the outdoor scenes.

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According to my setting, Four Seasons Mountain was a rotating tomb, with a total of twenty-four tombs from the foot of the mountain to the top of the mountain, corresponding to the twenty-four solar terms.

I never expected the director to be this meticulous with the details, going all the way to get footage from an actual location. S48mW1

As the author, meeting such a responsible production crew almost moved me to tears.

 

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I still took first-class seats with Jiang Ran. However, the entire flight was spent in silence. It was even more awkward than the first time we sat on the plane together.

OFuQT7

This time, I wised up. I wore my sunglasses and mask before alighting the plane, not giving him any chance to gay me.

Little did I expect that when we came out of the domestic arrivals, I would see countless countless flashing LED signs.

Not only were there those of Jiang Ran’s name, some even had my name, and my pen name as well.

There were even some ‘Burning Book’ LED signs. y4xOR3

The fans screamed in unison, turning the scene into chaos. During my walk past, many people were waving books at me hoping for my autograph.

Seeing their pleading looks, my heart softened. I was thinking of heading over there, but Jiang Ran caught my hand. “If you sign one, you’ll have to sign it all. Consider it carefully.”

Psh, I whipped my head over, rolling my eyes at him.

Right at the moment that I glared at him, a book was chucked out from the crowd, flying straight towards me. CExM65

WWWWWTS, it can’t be that an angry fan is punishing me for digging a writing pit and not filling it, right??

I was frozen to the spot in fright, but Jiang Ran reacted quickly, suddenly taking a big stride forward to stand in front of and shield me.

Resultantly, that heavy book slammed into him.

“Tss…” He gnashed his molars together. d7bR1W

 

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I was thoroughly dumbstruck. I watched him slowly let go of me, then raise his hand to massage his shoulder.

His agent instantly bristled. “President Jiang, are you alright? Where’s security?! Get more people here, this is too dangerous!” wdA9fy

The crowd also went mute for a few seconds, but a startling roar erupted soon afterwards. “AHHH President Jiang’s boyfriend aura is to the max, he’s so handsome! My man looks so good even when he’s injured!”

“……”

I suspect that all of these people are our anti-fans.

  aBqGXQ

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After getting in the car, I saw that the paparazzi had already started to churn out articles:

> Burning Book CP met with an accident in the airport. Showing off his strength, Film Emperor Jiang protects his wife.

> A brotherhood that moves the heavens and shakes the earth! Jiang Ran sacrifices his body to protect his ‘brother’ at the airport. X0lCay

Wha?? Which outlet are these reporters from, writing such drivel to use as clickbait headliners.

Wanna bet and see if I’ll report you all?

However, I saw the photos that they had taken, of Jiang Ran being smashed into by the book.

It was such a thick book, it must have been quite painful. LWPs5l

I glanced to the side. He was leaning back in his seat, resting his eyes.

As I was working myself up to show some concern, his agent snatched first to ask, “Jiang Ran, are you okay? Do you want to go to a hospital for a check-up?”

His eyelids flicked up. He softly replied, “I’m fine.”

In this manner, I obediently shut my mouth. 3kh6ud

 

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As we drove up the mountain and gained altitude, the chill quickly crept in.

The assistant brought us down jackets. 5e0d4p

After we got off the van and met with the director, he found a local guide to show us around the area. Then, we went to the small wooden house to put on our makeup and change into our costumes.

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

Because Shen Linhe was the reincarnation of an immortal, to display the divinity of Jiang Ran’s character, his costume was several layers thinner than ours.

Llr jrrlrajca jrxfv tlw, “Ugfrlvfca Aljcu, vb sbe cffv tjcv kjgwfgr?”

“Dlu ybsr vbc’a cffv atbrf qijsatlcur,” P weaafgfv rboais ogbw atf rlvfilcfr. itWvF6

Lbkfnfg, P gfugfaafv ws kbgvr lwwfvljafis joafg rjslcu la.

Oemxlis P rjlv la nfgs rboais; cb bcf rtbeiv tjnf tfjgv wf.

 

562 uTHoJs

Qtfc oliwlcu boolmljiis yfujc, Aljcu Ejc abbx boo atf vbkc pjmxfa, ifjnlcu bcis atf rkfjafg ecvfgcfjat.

I bundled my little cotton-padded jacket tightly around myself, feeling cold just at the sight of him.

Could anyone stand this?

Jiang Ran was conversely very composed. Whether it was scenes with me or any other actors, he didn’t compromise in the slightest. wgMcmF

I felt like I could see the spirit of dedication rising out of his body.

 

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There was another fight scene in the afternoon depicting an encounter with wild wolves on a snowy slope. n3zVH2

However, what the production crew brought were huskies.

Wuwuwuwu, such silly and cute doggies, practically a balm to my heart.

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Before the director shouted for filming to begin, I snuck over to the props team to play with the dogs.

Those few silly, fuwa fuwa huskies were chained up. I squatted in front of them, clapping my hands. “Sonnies~ come and greet appa.” zSceFB

Dogs: [life has no meaning.jpg]

I tried switching endearments a few times, spreading my arms open and warmly beckoning at them, “Precious doggies? Big pups? Big babies? Come into your appa’s embrace~”

A dog lazily stuck up its bum.

[10,000 dogs standing mute.jpg] 4XZi6B

“Pfft—”

Soft laughter suddenly carried from behind me. At some point in time, Jiang Ran had stood behind me, holding a thermos. “I didn’t know you liked dogs so much. It’s unfortunate that they don’t care about you.”

Ugh. Pissed.

I rolled my eyes at him, turning over and cursing loudly, “Fuck! Dog balls, idiot dogs, stupid bastards!” yuT8QI

Unexpectedly, before my voice faded away, those three huskies got up one after another. Their doggie eyes fixated on me and their doggie mouths opened, panting happily as they stuck their tongues out at me.

“……”

“Pffttt—” Jiang Ran laughed from behind me again.

This! This… zAwSC2

This is a whole new level of stupidity, isn’t it?!

 

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After playing with the dogs for a while, the director called us over to start filming. vt7f6S

Following the plot progression, I was chased down by the murderous wolves. At the moment that the wolves were going to bite into me, Jiang Ran used his whip to save me.

And so I, once again, and again, and a g a i n, for the umpteenth time, was sent by the wires into Jiang Ran’s embrace.

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However, he didn’t seem to be in good condition. When my head knocked into his chest, he actually wasn’t able to stand steady, falling in a heap on the ground with me.

I was fed a solid mouthful of snow.

Jiang Ran swiftly helped me up. “Sorry, I didn’t stand firmly enough.”

Pah, pah, pah! rb1QoK

I have reason to believe that he did so intentionally.

However, looking at his lips so frozen that they had turned purplish, I swallowed down my invectives.

His assistant hurriedly ran over to give him more clothes and hand him hot water.

  2rkYGe

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We shot at the snowy slope for the entire afternoon. The director only let us off when it reached evening.

He warned us to rest earlier as we would be filming at an even higher altitude tomorrow, which would be very physically demanding.

Jiang Ran was so exhausted from the day that he slept in the van on the road back. i143Vt

I asked for extra clothes from my agent, putting it over him.

I accidentally brushed his hand. It was so cold it felt like it was dug out from an ice cellar.

Seriously, why is this guy so dedicated to his craft?

Not even using a stand-in actor for scenes in such a harsh environment. CGz2PK

 

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But it was only when we reached the guesthouse that I found out something desperately serious.

My dear agent had arranged for Jiang Ran and I to share a double room without a word. p6dBcE

This time, there wasn’t any separating wall between us at all. It was a regular double room!

May I ask, are we going to be sharing a bed and pillows next?

Is there no law in this world anymore?

What was even more frustrating was that after sending us upstairs, my agent solemnly advised me, “Brother Shuyao, our President Jiang hasn’t had it easy during the shoot today. I hope you can help to look after and take care of him.” hGBT7t

Hmph, who knows what this guy will do to me in the middle of the night. And you still want me to take care of him?

Even if you put a knife to my throat, I refuse to care if he lives or not!

 

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Once at the room, I hurriedly placed my luggage between our beds.

“Jiang Ran, listen up. This is the Military Demarcation Line. If you dare to cross it at night, I’ll beat you black and blue, unable to get off the bed.”

Jiang Ran mildly raised his eyebrows. “Are you still angry at me?”

I couldn’t be bothered to answer him, facing away to turn the heater on. luv2tQ

Jiang Ran covered his mouth, coughing a few times.

After my body warmed up some, I took a shower in the bathroom.

When I came out, Jiang Ran was already sleeping, burrowed under the quilts.

??? E6l7Nf

He wouldn’t really be intending to recharge himself and get up in the middle of the night to gay me, right?

I anxiously hugged the anxious me.

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What ended up happening was that I was woken up by coughing in the middle of the night.

“Jiang Ran?” I groggily got down from the bed, turning on the bedside lamp. “What’s up with you?”

He was lying flat on the bed, coughing his heart out.

“The heater is too hot, I, coughcoughcough…” XtMgPA

“Alright.” Helpless, I walked over to turn off the heater. “Are you feeling better now?”

Jiang Ran covered his mouth, hacking a few more times.

I looked at his flushed face and perceived that something was wrong.

“Hey, you didn’t freeze your body out of sorts today, did you?” Vi3qFT

Jiang Ran weakly glanced over at me.

I hurriedly went over to put my hand on his forehead, and instantly drew my hand back in shock.

It felt like touching a soldering iron.

He was sweating all over. His clothes were soaked through. WvQPIm

“Fuck, you, how did you suddenly become like this…” I was so panicked that I almost started scolding someone, but on second thought I still stopped my mouth.

“Do you need to go to the hospital?” I asked him another question.

Jiang Ran shook his head, “It’s fine, I can hold out. I don’t want to delay the progress of the filming…”

He paused, then asked quietly, “Help me check if there’s any medicine in the refrigerator.” LC4 Tp

 

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Chrysanthemum Garden.

Fortunately, his assistant had prepared medicine for us.

I went to the bathroom to get some warm water and moved him to an upright sitting position. Z1HDem

“Wipe yourself down first, I’ll help you prepare the medicine.”

He nodded. He coughed quite a few times, sounding somewhat breathless.

Gah, thou art sick and warm, with a headache and a coughing fit…

This guy must be playing the ‘inflict injury on oneself to win the enemy’s trust’ strategem! LYBfx7

 

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Forget it, the me who has been duped admits it.

After all, the fever is real. C6DJAi

I boiled water for him, leaning against the door as I waited for the water to boil.

My heart was actually aching.

This acting technique was too goddamn realistic.

  uSRgXC

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I poured a glass of warm water, then went over to the wardrobe to find a set of clean clothes for him.

Jiang Ran sat topless and listless in bed.

“Get dressed before you drink the medicine.” NJgHyc

“Thank you.” He breathed deeply. He seemed to exert a lot of energy just to squeeze out those two words.

But the moment he raised his arms, I saw several bruises on his back.

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“How did you turn yourself into this state?”

“I…” He smiled helplessly, only to be interrupted by another coughing fit. 3dR8wl

“Hurry up and drink your medicine.” I turned around to find medicated plasters for him.

Why would Film Emperor Jiang work himself into such a state?

 

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When I observed him from up close, I then noticed that his shoulders were very wide and sturdy.

It’s probably the type of Pacific Ocean shoulder width that girls liked best?

Heh, no wonder so many young ladies want to give birth to monkeys for him.

  dNjdbK

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After I finished taking care of this soldering iron, I got ready to go back to sleep.

He suddenly reached out to hold me. “Mo Shuyao, are you still angry?”

Lol. If I really was angry at you, would I be serving you like an ancestor? RG8du7

Pighead.

But I stubbornly flung his hand aside. “That’s a separate matter. What I hate most is people lying to me.”

Hearing this, Jiang Ran coughed. He turned his body away from me. “I’m sorry. But I never found an opportunity to tell you…”

“…Coughcoughcough.” gdoJTp

“Fine, that’s enough. Stop speaking, quickly get back to rest.”

I wish I could block his mouth.

Chrysanthemum Garden.

Listening to him made my heart twinge in distress.

  ae3AH2


A commenter who spoke my heart: I realise that the author really likes Temptation Back Home????

Author: Because there were many parody videos of it back when I was writing this (in 2019) orz

Translator's Note

Completing a WIP.

Translator's Note

生无可恋表情_生无可恋,一脸懵逼,心塞

Translator's Note

Couldn’t find any meme for this. Author was playing off an idiom which goes ten thousand horses standing mute.

Translator's Note

Between North and South Korea.

Translator's Note

This whole line is another ref to Temptation Back Home, the drama w the scumbag guy and his mistress.

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2 comments

  1. Why do i feel like I committed a crime reading this sudden burst updates o.O???

    😆😆😆

    Thank you for the chapter~~~~~🤍🤍