022
Old Mo only produces quality goods. Within an hour, the 3-minute video started trending on the home page.
Although it wasn’t my first time receiving this honour, I still habitually checked the comments.
Huh, hang on. My video actually attracted a horde of die-hard Jiang Ran fans who are flaming me to the curb?
Screw your ginseng chickens, in this day and age, are there any celebrities who haven’t been spoofed before?
I deleted a few comments. My heart is worn out.
Fine, scold me all you want. It’s not my first time getting spat on in any case.
Just report me and suspend my account if you dare!
I went back to my original plan, knocking off as soon as I hit the bed.
023
“Yao Yao, Yao Yao, are you alright?”
A warm voice wound around my ears.
I groggily opened my eyes, and that wash-cut-blow-dried haircut of Jiang Ran’s blinded my dogdamned eyes.
Bang—
Dying of fright in my dreams, I catapulted awake only to smack a kiss to my bedside table.
The sun was already three poles high; another late morning.
I rubbed my throbbing forehead.
Ticked. Off. God-tier sand sculptures dost great harm!
024
I drowsily squeezed out some toothpaste, held up my toothbrush, crooning a song as I opened the little broken platform.
!!!
And this time, I really turned wide awake.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
Zs nlvfb tjv yffc gfqbgafv. Ktf wbvfgjabg bo atf ygbxfc qijaobgw vlgfmais rerqfcvfv ws jmmbeca.
Mbg atgff ktbif wbcatr.
Memx. Cr fzqfmafv, sbe mjc’a pera ijs sbeg wlcfrkffqfg oiju bc jcs gjcvbw rdejgf.
025
I opened the little black room I was confined in, only to find that my account was occupying the glorious top trending spot. It was a public condemnation.
Fcvfgcfjat atf cfalhfcr fnfc mbwwfcafv: ‘Ktlr ygbxfc qijaobgw wera yf tfiqlcu tlw, tf’r pera kjlalcu ab yf refv klat jii atf rqbbor tf tjr wjvf!’
Nicely done; suspend my account, blindly roast me the entire day… if you’ve the nerve, why don’t you keep the show going?
026
Right. You guys have the nerve. Here, a pen for you to write, you do you.
027
I sneered and went to my settings, silently cancelling the automatic renewal of the yearly membership.
I’m the lapdog of this damned broken platform.
028
My Weibo notifications had exploded.
My little sand-sculpture fans finally found their conscience, starting to bicker with Jiang Ran’s fans.
I should post a Weibo to get them to take a step back, broaden their horizons and calm their minds; act like a saint and all that.
But I didn’t. I immediately dumped my head back to bed.
I have everything in my dreams.
I just don’t have money.
029
You might be wondering why I, a content-creator granny, am so poor in spite of my millions of fans.
The reason that I make parody mashups is to vent my emotions. I don’t show my face, do livestreams, or accept endorsements. After all, I’ve spoofed so many celebrities and bigshots. If I expose too much personal information…
I fear the die-hard fans would turn me into minced meat, catch me in some unknown alley in Beijing, and I’d lose my puny life.
Never did I expect that Jiang Ran would be the one to give me trouble.
Film Emperor Jiang, you’re so petty.
Hmph.
My thoughts spinning, I fell into the haze of sleep.
030
Perhaps this is the way life is: you rise, and you rise, and you fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall… then rise again, I guess.
The phone call from my editor made me jump in shock. She said that my debut novel, Pisces, was successfully signed by Huiping Films and that they were already working on the screenplay.
I dumbly dug my ears, making sure that no bean-big earwax was impairing my hearing.
031
Yeah, truth be told, I’m also a danmei author, writing under the pen name Mo Ji.
Exactly. The person you guys have been calling madam.
Not as though my readers know that I’m male.
032
Let me first add a disclaimer, if it weren’t for that I was so poor that I couldn’t pinch together a meal, I would never have followed the market trend, polishing my work and submitting it for publication.
Maybe because men understand men, my web novels have never failed to keep readers on tenterhooks.
Hey! Stop your thoughts from going down the gutter. I only write serious plots with literary flair, you hear?
My readers often praise that reading my web novels feel like watching a movie. The scene is vast and magnificent, and the plot with various twists and turns.
033
I really don’t do children-unfriendly content, swear to god.
Else, my account would be suspended like how my account on the broken platform is now, and I might even have to squat in jail for a few years.
034
After becoming a little more clear-headed, my editor slowly spoke again, “Ji’er, the gong has been finalised. I guarantee you 100% satisfaction!”
I arched my brows, thinking in my head that no one could act out the refined and aloof disposition of my male lead.
But I was still curious. “Who?”
“Hehe. Guess?”
I lost interest.
Ages later, my editor broke the suspense, saying, “It’s Jiang Ran~”
I heard her pause theatrically, whereas I felt like I was struck by lightning.
035
Oh shete! That petty bastard! Damned film emperor!
Smh, enemies are bound to meet on a narrow road.
As the original author, just watch how I fuck you up.
036
My editor asked me again, “Ji’er, are you really giving up on writing? Your fans are going to die of sadness.”
I lazily hummed without continuing the conversation.
The author has something to say:
Don’t come looking for reality in here, thanks. This is coming from me, time-travelling back from 6 months in the future.
Thank you for the chapter! This is so interesting HAHAHAHAA and so funny
Lmfaooo what a petty gong
Thanks for the chapter € ^ *^)/// ~~ ♡♡♡♡♡
thanks for the chapter <3
“Not as though my readers know that I’m male.” hmm, right. although i don’t refer to people with any pronouns or gender here, i still automatically think they must be female. i mean, male bl readers are rare you know? but im sure the people here are nice ones so~
Thank you for the chapter 🤍
But he’s poor and his fake account got suspended. How is he going to make more money?
Thank you for the update ❤️
I’m pretty reality averse so no issues here. 😉
essa tradução tá muito mal feita não dá para entender nada
Ou o autor que escreveu assim parece que tá faltando história