Wei Qing is looking at him, not speaking. And yet– it’s like he expects a response? Yue Fei is out of his depth, still trying to understand why one minute, Wei Qing was saying that he loved him, and the next, he was crying and smiling and staring at him.
Yue Fei wonders if the bed is a mistake, if it’s too much, but– but Wei Qing is still holding so tightly to him, still kissing him. Talk about mixed messages.
Yue Fei lets his hands trace soothing patterns against Wei Qing as he waits for words that don’t come, for explanations not given. In the back of his mind, he feels something familiar and strange, like there’s a filter that’s keeping him from… something… but he’s too focused on making sure he’s properly caring for Wei Qing to investigate that sensation.
—
Wei Qing’s not an idiot. He’s upset, he’s overwhelmed, he feels the great disturbance that comes from telling someone your deepest fears and having them brush it off. But he also knows Yue Fei well enough to know that the man wouldn’t actually ignore him. Even if he truly thought he was insane, he wouldn’t just keep kissing him and asking what’s wrong.
Which means-
Something is interfering with his ability to admit his rebirth to Yue Fei.
Wei Qing has read enough and overthought enough to wonder if there’d be any restrictions. Evidently, the answer is yes. So he buries his head in his boyfriend’s neck and stabilizes his emotions and tries to figure out how to play this off, because even through his own rapidly churning emotions, he can feel Yue Fei’s stress.
And- ah, he really doesn’t want that. He was just overwhelmed, a bit. Overwhelmed by getting so much, by feeling so loved, by not understanding why he’s worth it. He- if the price of this second chance is not being able to talk about it, then he’s happy to pay. He just– didn’t expect it.
Actually, it calms him down quite a bit. If this was really a cosmic consolation prize, just a pretty dream to tide him over– in his dream, Yue Fei would hear him, and love him anyway. If this was the sweet dream of brain death, he’d be more OP, their love would be more flawless, he would look more beautiful when he cried~
The fact that he can’t tell him, that there’s still this discordant and unanswered note between them, makes it feel more real. The thorn that keeps the rose from being too perfect. He holds that thorn tightly as he comes back into the moment and the imperfections that allow him to restrain his fears and unworthiness.
“It’s nothing. It’s not nothing.” Wei Qing immediately contradicts himself and bites Yue Fei’s chin. Worries at just how distant Yue Fei’s eyes seem to have gone, despite their physical closeness. Better explain quick then! Explain just enough to not be fucked over by this sudden, universal mute button. “Like I said. Everything is just so perfect. You. This. Even my fucking brother-” Wei Qing adds bites to Yue Fei’s ears as well, as he shifts to be more comfortably on top of him. “-and all that perfection. It’s just scary. If you have something, you can lose it.”
Yue Fei is finally starting to respond to him more earnestly; Wei Qing grinds while explaining. After all, his emotions– he can still talk about those truthfully. Just not where the fear comes from. That’s fine. He was smart once. He can use metaphors.
Probably?
“It’s… worrying about being robbed, I guess. Like, I was living in some apartment with bad security, with broken windows and doors that didn’t lock. But it didn’t really matter– even if someone broke in, there wasn’t anything for them to steal. So I didn’t care about it. But now-”
More kisses.
“Now, I’m in that same house, but there’s gold and jade and the latest edition everything scattered all around, so I’m terrified of losing it. It’s… scary to have people to lose again.”
Yue Fei’s hands drop to his waist and then, Yue Fei rolls them, his body covering Wei Qing like a security blanket. He runs his teeth against the side of Wei Qing’s throat, the way that always makes Wei Qing arch up, and speaks against his skin.
“Wei Qing is a palace. Wei Qing has plenty of locks. Wei Qing has a shadow guard to help protect him.”
“Even if he screws it up?”
“Especially then. What’s a shadow guard without enemies to vanquish?”
Wei Qing is kissed silly, until he’s red from passion instead of tears, on this bed of petals and promises. And then the pace becomes sweeter, as they end up side-by-side, taking in the look of one another, bags still not unpacked.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
—
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When Wei Qing finally pushes himself up and returns to tyrannically straddling Yue Fei, he’s clearly delighted.
Actually delighted, not just playing off his trauma because he’s afraid of making a mess. Even Wei Qing’s half-baked roleplaying comes out, which is how Yue Fei knows he’s in a good mood.
“Ah, I did it, I finally fulfilled one of the tropes from the Palace! I did it, I seduced an upright man with my coquettish looks and my many charms until he placed me above the good of the nation. I can finally take control of the palace and get the rest of those women in line.”
“Seduced with your goodness. And the nation is overrated.” Yue Fei makes small corrections.
Wei Qing hides himself against the crook of his neck, sputtering about like a shy clam. While still grinding on him.
Ah, classic Wei Qing. Happily spouting silliness and sex with that irresistible confidence, but turning positively bashful every time he’s praised instead of teased over it. This look and the way it falls so oddly natural on Wei Qing’s stunning face– Yue Fei will never get tired of it.
Will never get tired of any of this.
Yue Fei will spend the rest of his life giving Wei Qing the confidence to not worry about his happiness being stolen. Even if they somehow fall apart, he will surround Wei Qing with Fang Yichen and Wei Qiwan and the troop on Floor 17 and Wei Qing will always have someone to call. Someone to be himself with.
But preferably, he’ll always be in that number. The closest. The-
Ah, if only he can avoid embarrassing himself completely on this bed. Or at least, embarrass himself and then redeem himself, preferably more than once, before they pack up and return at the end of their long weekend.
—
Yue Fei’s moment of truth is thankfully delayed by Wei Qing’s vanity and their twin rumbling stomachs. Wei Qing wants the chance to shower and look less like a pufferfish before spending the night together; Yue Fei wants the chance to settle his nerves with the routine comfort of cooking. So that’s what they break apart to do.
Not that dinner takes much time.
After all, this is a place they are visiting, with only the groceries that were stocked by the broker before they arrived. And even if Yue Fei is nervous as shit and hasn’t gotten (or wanted to get) laid since he was a teenager, he knows enough to know not to stuff them to the point of bloating, or spend so long cooking that by the time it’s finally finished, they won’t have the energy for any type of eating after.
It’s a simple meal, lovingly made: ginger-braised lamb with aromatic rice and soy-stirred chard. Wei Qing had once gone through a European phase and Yue Fei still had the cookbooks and enough practice to improvise. If nothing else, it smells great and lures Wei Qing out of his oddly-long shower with cartoonish efficacy. Yue Fei can practically see him floating after the little scent lines.
Ah, he’s really devastatingly handsome like this, hair damp and eyes bright, clothes casual and entire being unguarded.
They sit in front of the ufo-shaped black metal fireplace, toes curling into the inch-deep rug and plates balanced on stolen ottomans and kidnapped end-tables. Yue Fei worries about the fitness of the meal; Wei Qing worries about his ability to eat it while secretly slinking into his boyfriend’s lap.
Overall, a typical weekend meal at home, just with a change of scenery, and the weight of a single bed between them.
Wei Qing keeps stealing peeks as if expecting (hoping?) to be picked up and manhandled into bed, food be damned. Yue Fei keeps charging interest on these glances, with ginger-flavored pecks and cajoling to eat a little more before it gets cold. After all, once they start, it’s going to be very, very impossible to do anything but want to worship Wei Qing endlessly and make up for all that hurt. So, kisses and dinner first. No bed allowed until their plates are clean.
At one point, it even descends into hand-feeding, which does not work nearly as well when the dish is rice-based, thanks for asking.
Wei Qing licks a stray grain from his lips. He ducks to pick up a piece of pre-cut lamb with his teeth, laughing, “Baby, it’s good we can’t have kids, because I think you’d struggle with this bit.”
Yue Fei rolls his eyes, but still ends up pulling Wei Qing fully into his lap, doing his best to adopt a scowl that is ruined by the spastic twitching of his lifting lips. He raises the plate again.
“Open up for the airplane then.”
“What if I want to open up for something else?” Oh, there’s the danger. And of course, the danger is in his lap.
“Food first, especially after the day we’ve had.” Ha! See! He can resist! At least temporarily.
“Ah, where’s the spoiling?” Wei Qing’s fake pout becomes more pronounced. More impossible to not kiss from his face until it’s smoothed to a pretty, open-mouthed pant instead. Yue Fei convinces him to take another mouthful while licking light little taps up and down the side of his neck. He puts on his best impression of a fawning court official, or maybe a concubine, who can tell at this historically-inaccurate point.
“Wei Qing is right- in that case, my prince, my liege, my everything: please eat this humble servant’s offering, and keep the dragon body strong for the good of the country.” Based on the way they’re seated and the reactions occurring, ‘the country’ might be Yue Fei’s nickname for his dick.
“Okay, first: love it, love it all.” Wei Qing wiggles and takes another bite, fishing for more kisses. “But didn’t we agree you’re a shadow guard? I have to say– I’m starting to think that you’re not paying enough attention to the Palace. Since when have I left the harem and become a prince?”
It’s true. The storylines are complex, and Yue Fei finds Wei Qing much more arresting than any of the episodes that they’ve seen so far. After all, no matter how lovely the makeup or intricate the robes, what kind of celluloid beauty could ever match the perfection of the man that he always compares them against?
He plants another kiss. Loves the taste of water and the attachment that lingers on his skin.
“You’ve always been a prince. Except for when you’re a celestial being.”
“Yue Fei!”
Yue Fei smiles wolfishly and kisses him again; he wants to know if the spreading blush will make Wei Qing’s lips and neck taste different. Scientifically, no, but it’s better to carefully explore these things and reach his own tantalizing conclusions.
Somehow, they manage to finish dinner without losing their pants. Barely.
Of course, by the time Wei Qing is rinsing the dishes, he’s shirtless and pressing against Yue Fei, encouraging him to join him in semi-nudity and shed his shirt. How clean the dishes actually get is up for debate– what’s not is that, if they don’t end up in the bedroom soon, they are going to have yet more couch or rug or counter-based escapades.
Which is great, but Yue Fei really wants to be able to properly lay the man out and explore. So bed. Bed, even if Wei Qing uses all his not inconsiderable skill to stretch those twenty-six steps into a seemingly infinite temptation. Ah, really too good at this, a modern prince doing the world’s best veil dance, but with a kitchen towel and a lost shirt, instead of priceless, gauzy fabric.
Yue Fei will never not be overcome by this.
Loyal and lusting in a way that he isn’t sure how to name, Yue Fei follows him into the bedroom and decides it’s time for their bodies to join the sheets, covered in bruised flowers and endless sweetness. Together in this life, making up for all those strange detours that had once kept him from these revelations.
—
Wei Qing allows himself to be walked backwards to the bed, Yue Fei’s palms nervously skimming across his bare back like this is an audition that he’s worried about failing. He’s not the only one; Wei Qing’s just got way, way more practice faking it.
After all, a confident man wouldn’t spend nearly forty minutes in the shower, scrubbing every inch of his skin and checking his manscaping and douching to a level that was probably excessive, all because he’s worried that if he’s not appetizing enough, Yue Fei might wake up from this spell and be disappointed. Realize that he’s not worth all the baggage, that he can easily walk away and find someone more innocent and less complicated.
Someone easier to live with. Someone for whom being good is intrinsic, rather than a belated resolution after years of dissolution. Ah, they’re both a mess. Wei Qing mentally chastises Yue Fei for his nerves while running his own endlessly up, repeats those self-help mantras, and hypnotizes himself to accept that he doesn’t have to agree with Yue Fei’s (ludicrously high) assessment of his worth in order to accept his care.
He gives up on thinking and focuses his senses on the feel of being kissed so softly. Reminds himself that even if things go farther tonight (gods, please) this is hardly their first experience with one another. Yue Fei has already seen him naked, already tasted the depths of him, had already taken and given pleasure in his mouth and hands. This is just a progression, and even if he can’t quite believe that they are here, he knows they are.
And he-
He can trust that. He can trust Yue Fei, if not himself.
He can just enjoy kissing him. Enjoy the automaticity of his fingers toying around Yue Fei’s waistband and the way his fingers catch on the ridges of Yue Fei’s hips and abs and pectoral muscles, as he slides his pullover over his head and sends it flying to some darkened corner to the side of them.
He can get lost in all those soft and appreciative sounds that Yue Fei makes, every time he brushes across his heated skin; can shiver when Yue Fei mimics the intimacy, circling his navel teasingly with the pad of his thumb as his four fingers brush against his zipper. Wei Qing can thrust, full of need and stuck, still standing, between the lip of the bed and those delightful fingers of Yue Fei’s, and silently beg for Yue Fei to fully expose him.
He doesn’t have to think about the past or the future or those restrictions, not when Yue Fei is being so damn diligent. Or he will be, as soon as Wei Qing-
Yue Fei deepens the kiss, licks against Wei Qing’s upper palette, gets his lips safely away before bringing those teasing hands up from his stomach to his shoulders. Wei Qing’s pout is a little delayed– he’s still savoring all those nice feelings that keep his thoughts at bay. It’s only when his blown-wide eyes finally flutter open, that he feels the heat in his gut explode.
The way Yue Fei is looking at him.
There’s no other word for it. He’s hungry. Hungry, and looking at Wei Qing like he’s an imperial banquet.
Yue Fei raises an eyebrow, licks his lips, and pushes him lightly on the bed.
Hand to god, Wei Qing nearly comes undone just at the imagery of it. At Yue Fei standing above him, shirtless and backlit, with that look of his. In the space between them, there’s no room for anything but bone-aching neediness and the desire to properly please his man.
All those worried thoughts and mysteries of the universe fly right out of his head.
Author’s Corner:
This chapter is slightly too long, so it’s broken into two pieces that I’m posting back-to-back even though that makes the pieces slightly too short. Oh well, it is what it is.
As far as the restriction– 
1
It was hinted at a little in the last chapter, but, yeah. Wei Qing and Yue Fei can’t actually speak to one another about their rebirth yet, for reasons that will come up eventually and relate to past rebirth contracts leading to mass chaos. (Wei Qing doesn’t care enough to use his rebirth to do anything but chase his husband and be happy, but if he wanted to do things like overtake the stock market, he’d find other restrictions/safeguards to interfere with him).
As far as why Wei Qing can drunkenly talk about his death with Wei Qiwan (even if he doesn’t remember it)? Wei Qiwan is the originator of the contract, and the actual terms of it are literally branded on his soul. He may not remember the contract (because the him here is the him from before he made it), but his soul is still his soul, so he has certain oversight (that he doesn’t know about and thus doesn’t exercise). Being the contract overseer (even if he doesn’t remember) might be influencing him in subtle ways though– for example, his compulsion to check into Wei Qing and Yue Fei at a level beyond what he did in their first life.
I realize we might feel stifled about this– so does Wei Qing, but he’s very good at finding the silver lining, that champ!
As an apology, the second part of this chapter is basically smut with feelings.
I wanted them to talk but yeah the restrictions seems logical and Wei Qing kinda address the problem anyway with the robbing metaphor ? So I’m happy about it uhuh
And thank you for the double chapter it’s like the best Sunday of all Sundays 💐
I hope so! Honestly, as mentioned in another comment, I’m not actually that resigned to how this plot point played out, but it’s the best I could do so I hope that as the story unfolds, the logic will hold up and in the end it will be a good thing for their development! Thanks for reading and commenting <3
Well well well… a little surprised about the restriction… i’m just wondering if it also blocks them from realizing the other is reborn (like, if they discover it themselves through some kind of clues) and if they ever will
now for the juicy part
Yeah, honestly, on my first draft I didn’t have the restriction and there was a reveal here, but it ended up causing a lot of bottlenecks and logic issues further along that delayed the text. Like I spent the better part of a month not being able to get more than five chapters away without issues cropping up.
Probably, a more seasoned writer could smooth out those issues but as for me, I banged my head against it and this was the way that the story ended up flowing.😅 That said, I can guarantee that they do eventually discover one another’s rebirth. Just not yet!
that restriction messed me up but i really like how wei qing latched onto the imperfections to ground himself
thanks for the slight explanation at the end of how the rebirth works
i am loving your writing ♡♡♡
True story, the restriction messed me up too. This was my NaNo project and I spent most of December and January stuck on this scene– writing and rewriting it only for the pacing to derail 4-10 chapters after. In the end, the restriction and the logic to underpin it is what allowed the story to progress, but it’s probably an imperfect solution.
Thanks for reading and commenting, I especially appreciate it on these chapters that are a little more frustrating (to write and read)!
It’s funny that Wei Qing doesn’t think about how nervous Yue Fei might be, like he just assumes he’s more competent at everything 😅
Right? Yue Fei is panicking and wishing he had Google Glass to check a half-dozen wikihows in the moment and Wei Qing is like, “Ah yes, a gentleman and a scholar, 360 degree no flaws boyfriend.”
Writer , you do know that we love you. Thank you for the next chapter , before I have read it.