It’s fitting that Wei Qing’s next bout of progress comes at the expense of him nearly falling on his ass. Very on-brand. They’re walking up the three steps to the elevator bank, when he trips on his own happiness and very nearly cracks his head apart on the concrete, only to be rescued by the quick hands and sharp grip of Yue Fei.
Yue Fei’s hands, holding him steady but bruising, gripping his hips.
“Master Wei, watch your step.” Soft spoiling exasperation that Wei Qing knows so very well.
Why does this feel so familiar-
His missing memories of a certain night start to come back, in a confusing tangle that doesn’t matter as much as the sureness that he’d been on top of Yue Fei, that he’d felt these hands on his hips, had tasted that mouth and not been instantly rejected-
“Master Wei, are you alright? Did you twist your ankle or-?” When Wei Qing stiffens in his arms, Yue Fei begins to fuss. If Master Wei has hurt himself– why does this silly garage even have steps to an elevator, what kind of foolish disability-unfriendly design is that?!
Wei Qing gasps and spins and, when Yue Fei lets go of his waist for fear of hurting him, it falls on Wei Qing to bring them back into contact, his hands fisting against the suiting that covers Yue Fei’s broad biceps. Probably he is overstepping, but he needs answers before the shock is replaced with caution and he bottles back his new discoveries.
“Yue Fei!”
“Master-”
“I kissed you? Right? Like, I forgot, but that definitely happened? Or am I becoming unexpectedly demented?” Wei Qing can believe the latter more easily than the former, but he still has to ask. He’s already prepared to step back and play dumb when the widening of Yue Fei’s eyes coupled with the reddening of his earlobes gives an impossible answer.
Wei Qing’s brain breaks again.
Yue Fei clears his throat and summons the elevator as an excuse to step away. To address himself to the safety of heavy-duty machinery, rather than the danger of the red-faced beauty behind him. Umm. Not that he thinks of Wei Qing that way. He should make that clear, so Wei Qing doesn’t misunderstand and start thinking messy things. He’s not like those other men, he’s safe. Safe enough to kiss and have it not lead to anything more. Wei Qing should not trouble himself. Yes, that’s what he should say.
“Master Wei should not concern himself.” So he says it. To the door, but it’s fine. Clearly, Wei Qing hears him.
“Not… Concern myself? Umm, didn’t I invite you to-”
“Master Wei!” Yue Fei interrupts, how scandalous. But sometimes, the real etiquette is to not allow certain sentences to be finished. He coughs and pinches the lint in his pockets, still staring at the very ordinary door and wondering why it’s taking so long to open. Then again, perhaps it’s better to speak of such things (if they must speak at all) before they are in an enclosed, private elevator.
“Master Wei was very taken with the general on the screen. Master Wei made a simple mistake after being caught up in the storyline unfolding. This subordinate did not bring it up, because he attaches no importance to such things. Master Wei can rest easy.”
Uh, no, Master Wei fucking can’t.
Between the super-formal speech replacing that lightness from earlier, and his anger at himself for not remembering such a glorious, forbidden treat– Wei Qing knows he doesn’t give a fuck about random actors in wigs playing generals that didn’t actually exist. Kissing Yue Fei was only ever about the two of them. Them with some liquid courage as social lubrication, but mostly them.
Unfortunately, it seems Yue Fei won’t even consider that.
Normally, Wei Qing would accept this.
After all, what part of him is worth Yue Fei’s consideration? But- in the hazy memory, he hadn’t pulled away. Had even… at the very end, kissed him back? A little bit? For a second, maybe? Bitten so cautiously against his lip, squeezed his hips? Wei Qing is probably reaching, but the possibility haunts him. He doesn’t deserve it, but if he can have it anyway, he’s okay with being unworthy. With the paper already in tatters, Wei Qing sees no reason not to pierce through it. Honor’s never been that important to him.
He’s willing to take what he shouldn’t reach for, as long as it’s freely given.
“Yue Fei-”
The elevator picks that moment to arrive, and Yue Fei ushers him in even as he holds back. He can’t possibly- Wei Qing reads him like a book, and pulls at the rarely-flustered Yue Fei’s arm, preventing the doors from closing and extending the moment.
“Yue Fei. We live on the top floor. Stop thinking ridiculous things about the stairs and get in.”
Heh. He sounds a little like the man himself.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
Sure enough, confidence is a great equalizer. It works- after another moment of indecision, Yue Fei steps into the trap that is an express elevator. Although as the floors ding by, it feels anything but fast. And fuck, but why are the sides so reflective? Making it so that no matter where he looks, he seems to find Wei Qing’s bright appraising eyes and see that pretty blush spreading across those high cheeks of his. The third time he’s unjustly caught staring (accidentally, he swears!) Wei Qing takes it as an invitation to start talking.
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“Yue Fei. You are the most important person in my life. And if that’s pathetic- well, whatever. I’ve been worse.” Wei Qing rubs the back of his neck, looks up, finds courage in the warm amber lights of the cab, “But that’s why you should know… me kissing you, and everything else, has nothing to do with some silly show.” Wei Qing exhales, prepares to have his heart stepped on. Continues all the same.
“You’re the person I want to belong to. That’s the reason for the kiss.”
Clearly, the ‘express’ part of this elevator is an aspirational lie. There’s no way they can still be stuck in here. Stuck so close together, close enough that if he just reached out the smallest fraction, he could once more-
Yue Fei clenches his jaw and stays silent for what feels like an age, but is probably only thirty seconds. Just long enough to gather his thoughts– and Wei Qing swears, he can taste the rejection in the tension of those shoulders, before he even starts to talk.
Sure enough, he lightly pushes one hand against Wei Qing’s chest and restores a proper distance. The kind of distance that Wei Qing doesn’t want at all.
“Master Wei is confused.”
I’m not though, I’m really not, I want you!
“Our master-subordinate relationship is something that I am very protective of.”
Right. You don’t want me– and why would you? A physical reaction, giving in for a second, if that’s even what you did– doesn’t mean that you want to get entangled in my messes.
Yue Fei mercilessly continues, in this conversation he’d never wanted to have. “It is normal to fall into old patterns, Master Wei should not mistake habit with interest, nor worry that I will do so.”
‘Habits.’ His love is just a bad habit, in Yue Fei’s mind.
Right. Of course it is. All evidence points to that.
Well, it could be worse. Yue Fei doesn’t seem disgusted. Just… unimpressed? Heh. Then again, falling into bed together would change things. Change them infinitely for the better in Wei Qing’s opinion, but change them nonetheless. They’d spent eight years together at this point; behind the pain, it’s a little comforting, to think that Yue Fei wasn’t willing to risk that on what he assumed (incorrectly) would be a short-term physical dalliance.
It was bittersweet that someone cared enough to place their bond above physical gratification. A unique experience, to discover that someone might prefer his mind to his body. After all, it had been awhile since anyone would dare say such a thing with a straight face.
So Wei Qing will just have to prove his sincerity and continue to be good. That’s the promise he makes, as the time-warped elevator finally opens in the private entry to their penthouse. He walks out, neatly tidies his own shoes, and spins around. Only…
Seizing the day, or something like that, Wei Qing grabs Yue Fei’s lapels and bring him into a featherlight kiss, not lewd or hungry or based on a fucking historical drama– pure and earnest. And then he lets go while Yue Fei is stunned, before he has another chance to reject him.
“Goodnight, Yue Fei. I look forward to proving I’m not mistaken.”
Goodness could start the next morning.
—
Yue Fei enjoys another sleepless night. He is starting to suspect that Wei Qing’s lips are caffeinated.
It is- unfortunate that Wei Qing remembered the kiss. After over a month of amnesia, he had been convinced that the night was lost forever. Who knew all it took was a single automatic grab to trigger that awareness and land him in this awkward position? Yes, it would be better if it never happened at all.
He should regret it.
Yue Fei traces his own lips, hidden away in his room, Wei Qing safely asleep half-a-penthouse away from him.
But as a warning, this is a good one. After all, Yue Fei is not a foolish man. Just (occasionally) a situationally blind one. Now that Wei Qing has declared himself all bold and sober, Yue Fei can see the chain of events that led to such a situation. See the mistakes he made, that led them to this perhaps inevitable point.
Wei Qing really, really liked structure, for all he claimed to hate it. Liked having someone to tell him what to do and how to act, even liked being run around and made to pant so prettily, settled in a lap- Not that Yue Fei is thinking about that! But-
Given the evidence of two lives…
Yue Fei suspects he is a substitute for Yang Wushe.
Not that Wei Qing’s met the man yet, not in this life, and hopefully he never would, but… He’s filling the same void. Meeting the same needs that Gao Zhong and Yang Wushe and even Ta Yeh Yeh would.
It was understandable that Wei Qing had grown confused. It was Yue Fei’s missteps that had allowed Wei Qing to mistake his own dependence for devotional love. Muddled and open-hearted, of course his master is trying to offer Yue Fei the same banquet that he’d given to those men who would never actually be worthy of him. Yue Fei wonders what it says about the young masters of their city, that the camboy TYY comes closest to worthiness without breaking a sweat. But Yue Fei is not like them. He will prove that he can protect and pamper Wei Qing without taking pleasure in the repayment of it.
Without defiling him and taking advantage. It can be selfless, even this level of attention.
He will be perfect and understanding and aloof so that when Wei Qing finally wakes from this trance of falsely-transferred feelings, their existing relationship will not suffer for it. After all, Wei Qing is the most important person in Yue Fei’s life as well.
He refuses to ruin that. He’s seen what lust and possession do, how they warp good feelings and make those under their sway dance themselves into knots over those they want to own as much as they want to cherish. He does not want that. If he did, he never would have left home, would not have run when he did.
He does not need to take any liberties to love Wei Qing. He can platonically protect him, until the ends of the Earth, as long as Wei Qing is willing to try and be good for him. Be good- Yue Fei’s dick twitches to life against his will.
Ah-
Maybe… maybe he should find a way to rephrase that. At least for the foreseeable future.
—
The next morning, Yue Fei begins his day in an aggressively normal fashion. He checks the calendar, he refuses all the messy social invites Wei Qing had thrown to him, he cracks eggs and starts the water. He begins a load of laundry and collects the dry-cleaning for the courier to pick up at 9:30. A completely, unimpeachably average start to the day.
At least until he crosses the threshold into the master bedroom. Then, it’s less average and more ‘panicked fleeing.’
Yes, fleeing is really the only word to use, for how he exits Wei Qing’s room upon realizing the man is sleeping in just underwear, again, those nipples and soft lines that he definitely did not notice ever displayed in the tragic high-definition of real life. A tactical retreat is the only correct action.
Whatever pieces of his suit Wei Qing left on the floor last night can just go to the cleaners in next weeks’ batch. It’s not like his closet isn’t expansive enough to cover the delay on a few pieces.
Cheeks brushed with red that he falsely attributes to the heat of the range, Yue Fei chops peppers and scallions and freshly grinds the herbs de Provence that Wei Qing prefers, when he has these Western-style breakfasts. He lets his heart settle and reminds himself of all the resolutions he came to last night, about how to thread the needle between abandonment and encouragement, so that Wei Qing might be able to distance himself from these false feelings without spiraling the way he did whenever he felt rejected.
Yue Fei predicts a challenging weekend, week, month, season.
…
But he’s wrong?
When Wei Qing wakes up at a quarter past ten (Yue Fei’s not brave enough to go back into that room to wake up the near-naked him), he strolls out, appropriately covered and seemingly unashamed. Not pushy either. He doesn’t steal another kiss or rub against him or, God forbid, declare himself again. Yue Fei relaxes his vigilance as Wei Qing eats his breakfast and chats about robots and dragons without any mentions of kissing or relationships or confessions.
If he didn’t keep sneaking peeks, Yue Fei would almost believe last night’s heart-pounding events didn’t happen. Good. Maybe a night’s sleep was all it took for Wei Qing to realize his feelings were superficial, or perhaps he was biding his time. Either way, Wei Qing is wise enough not to push. Wiser than Yue Fei, who betrays his own convictions by hoping for one reason over the other, like a boyfriend waiting to be coaxed instead of an employee trying to maintain boundaries.
Luckily, his misbehaving (and hungry) id is not in charge of them.
He is an adult, and that means he has control over his own impulses. When breakfast ends and Wei Qing offers to do the washing up, Yue Fei lets him. Okay, so maybe his id is a little unleashed, just the tiniest bit. But letting his boss wash his dishes is hardly a gateway drug to loving him boneless against the countertop.
Not that he’s thinking about that.
…Time to check the laundry!
—
Wei Qing doesn’t care for most shellfish, but he’s newly interested in boiling crabs.
One crab, in particular. Only, it’s a little more awkward and high-stakes than all those internet articles suggest, when the crab is your subordinate and also someone you can’t bear to lose, thus can’t actually overstep with. Okay, not the greatest metaphor. Especially because boiling something alive is a slightly cruel metaphor, actually, given what he really wants to do…
The point is, he can learn to be patient.
He can prove his goodness. Maybe he’ll be on his best behavior, and Yue Fei will be the untouchable white moonlight in his heart, who stays with him forever, even if it’s totally platonic. Or, he’ll be on his best behavior, Yue Fei will realize this is not a phase, and he’ll spend decades being lovingly fucked into the mattress by his dream guy. Either way, it’s a precious gift. Wei Qing can’t see a downside to being slow and steady (for once).
So he eats breakfast and keeps his hands (if not his eyes) to himself and he learns how to wash dishes, all in the interest of slowly heating that water and attracting that crab.
The crab scuttles away, but that’s fine. The penthouse is only so big. Not that he’s hunting him for sport– that would be weird and violating and generally sketchy. After all, this is Yue Fei’s home too. He’s allowed space and privacy in it. But even in separate rooms, it’s enough that Yue Fei is still around, doing laundry and making breakfast and not immediately tending his resignation or hiring some daddy dom as some sad replacement.
Wei Qing will take it.
After all, there’s not exactly a handy-dandy guide for pursuing your crush when your lives are already so deeply enmeshed.
Already living together, and his family paying Yue Fei’s wage makes it a little strange, but a backwards courtship can still be a courtship. He has faith. Anyway, Wei Qing’s never been one to stand on ceremony or tradition. He knows Yue Fei cares about him. He knows that whatever drove them apart in his last life, as long as he stays good, Yue Fei will not leave him. He promised! And that’s enough to suffer through years of yearning, much less the few months that he’s actually endured. He’s totally got this.
Positive affirmations and plans for the future that are not obsessions, merely nice thoughts.
That’s the trick, according to his bedside table of self-esteem manuals and smoking cessation books. (No, he doesn’t, not unless he’s already high, but certain addictions are easier to find books on than others, and ‘dicks that are bad for me’ was unfortunately out of stock at his local bookshop).
—
The whole weekend passes in this not-quite-a-stalemate; with Yue Fei waiting to be jumped and Wei Qing on his best behavior, too-honest eyes notwithstanding. By Tuesday morning, Yue Fei’s skittishness is mostly invisible, and even Wei Qing has given up trying to read his microexpressions. (Although he does order a book on microexpressions and binge watches the first two seasons of ‘Lie to Me,’ much to Yue Fei’s exasperated amusement). It’s nice and easy, all the awkwardness they manage to sidestep by not pushing one another too far.
That’s the great gift (and drawback) of confessions between friends, roommates, assistant-boss pairs, whatever strange label they put on themselves: The person is so important, so enmeshed, that even when things change, they do so glacially… Assuming at least one of them isn’t sure about it, at any rate.
Yue Fei is grateful that his roommate-friend-boss-adult-he-babysits makes it easy. He’s not sure what he’d do, if Wei Qing truly pushed. Which is worrisome.
He’s seen Wei Qing tearfully confessing twice, and desperately chasing once, and he’s not eager to replicate either experience, much less with himself in a starring role. The fact that Wei Qing (thinks he) likes him, but can continue to live with him without being dramatic or clingy (more than usual, that is)… is… comforting and appealing in a way that the initial confession had not been.
It’s a clear line of difference, proof that even if this is the short lived folly he suspects, Wei Qing is treating him differently than those other men. Is changing who he is, even if he can’t change what he wants.
Yue Fei is proud of him.
But since positive reinforcement alongside a romantic rejection can come across as confusingly mixed-signal, he notes down the changes in his heart without commenting on them. And he lets Wei Qing keep doing their dishes.
It’s always been his least favorite part of cooking, and if Wei Qing is willing-
Well, best to let the boss have fun and scrub away at those pots and pans. Even if Yue Fei has to sneak out late at night and rewash certain bits of grease that ‘only scrub what I see’ Wei Qing misses. It’s the thought that counts, and the thought is adorable.
Yue Fei, who sees nothing strange with a grown man failing at cleaning a wok, or only engaging in a three-day workweek, continues to insist that he’s not spoiling Wei Qing. That this totally counts as being a rigid hardass.
They’re actually both adorable. Little oblivious idiots.
Author’s Corner:
Yue Fei, cursing muscle memory while washing every last bit of fabric in the penthouse. Wei Qing, committing to going for it.
The phrase ‘be good’ ruined for both of them forever. Just normal boss-subordinate things, nothing to see here.
This guy got everything reversed… 😭
Making progress!!! Go WQ go!!! Get your man!!! I wonder if Yang Wushe will show up? It would be interesting to see how WQ acts towards him with the memories of his past life, and protective dog YF who also remembers at his side.
It is interesting that Yue Fei isn’t using that as a justification to go ahead and give in to Wei Qing, but he’s not even thinking about it. I am curious too.
Personally I thought that too then when I read about the part of YF saying WQ was just trying to use him as a replacement for YW I started to think…maybe the reason he didn’t come to that, or at least not yet is because if QW likes him, he wants it to be because of him, not because he’s similar to the people QW was previously interested in. In fact, I could have sworn YF even said something more or less similar to that already.
i am telling you if you write a smut scene there better be a scene where yue fei tells wei qing to “be good” which results in him getting more aroused! (^-^)🔪
They’re both so adorable. Yue Fei is a whipped malewife.
Adorable 😭😭🥹