Aspen had taken a step back when retreating but now he was coming in close again. It was River’s turn to flee backwards until he felt the wall against his back.
He was taller than Aspen and looking down at him from this angle. Aspen wore the look of a satisfied cat about to purr, approaching slowly on purpose despite River already being pushed into a corner.
Aspen was speaking in a low tone, his eyes curved from his broad smile. “I know what you look like if you dislike a touch. Come, come, don’t run away. I haven’t done this stuff before but it’s not bad. Let me try a couple of things, hmm?”
“Stop that”, River responded in a flustered tone, blocking the face that was inching closer to his and gripping the hand that was slowly tracing down the line of his chest below his shirt. “Aren’t we partners!”
Aspen hummed.
A wet and warm sensation went over River’s fingers, leaving a trail from his palm up to his fingertips. Where his tongue slipped into the gap between his fingers, he could feel the softness give in.
Electrified, River jolted his hand away. His thoughts were running out.
Of course, he knew enough about sex to not miss what was going on but with how heavily he avoided contact with people, he had never had any voluntary sexual contact with anyone before. That one time had been under drugs, and he did not even remember any of it.
Aspen acting like this was easily and quickly frying his brain.
He wasn’t averse, he noticed. He was actually quite enticed. He was finding it hard to breathe and harder to swallow, all blood flushing either to his face or the opposite direction.
“Yes, you are”, Aspen responded in a whisper. “How troublesome.”
He didn’t look very bothered, though. Rather, he was using his free hand to place on River’s chest and tugged the captured one up to his lips. Softly pressing his lips against River’s wrist, he glanced up at River’s face.
The situation was getting overtly sexual.
Neither of them had ever had the mind to question their own sexuality. River would have dated whomever his family decided for him and Aspen could not even manage to develop a platonic interest in the beings that he couldn’t see as his own species.
At this moment, both of them were realizing that they would not mind getting closer to the other person.
Aspen especially did not have many inhibitions about it. In the first place, he quite liked being around River – he did not dislike the thought of extending things on a physical level.
Besides, he liked the feeling of River’s lips and the shudder of his fingers.
He was half testing to see River’s reaction. He could tell that the other had a quickened heartbeat and breath and noted how the other man stopped avoiding the touch on his chest.
“Time is still going on”, River croaked out. “We have to watch out for the patient.”
His eyes were showing his resistance. Reacting to that, Aspen pulled back and allowed River to breathe.
“River”, Aspen said with a belly full of complicated feelings. “Don’t get close to that Deer guy.”
“I wasn’t planning on”, River mumbled defensively, then flinched and looked away. Why was he even explaining himself as if he had done something wrong?
Aspen felt pleased, hearing River defend himself like that. He smiled, showing his teeth, and grabbed one of River’s hands to squeeze it tightly.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
River looked down at his hand, his expression a bit lost, and tried to pull it away carefully. When Aspen didn’t give in, he stopped trying and instead tugged uncomfortably at his collar.
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Yet, he did not try to escape Aspen’s grasp again. The other let go on his own when the first hints of someone approaching sounded, and River was stuck between relief and disappointment.
Don’t think about it.
“There he is, there he is!” Aspen clapped his hands and did a little jump. “Perfect!”
He ran towards the crouching shadow, following him happily like a hound watching his prey until the patient reached the end of the graveyard.
He wasn’t athletic and on top of that weakened, but if there was one thing he had then it was undying determination to get over this last hurdle into freedom. It was touching – the way his body language changed as he stumbled, having jumped down the other side.
A short pause.
Freedom.
And he ran, the sound of relieved crying vanishing along with him as the world broke into white shards again.
There was only Amber at the white door. Plaster and Rhythm were missing.
“Not enough participation”, River guessed. He pointed at the door. “This is your way out. It’s safe.”
He had barely finished the word when Amber already dashed past him and out through the door.
“Wow. Someone really wanted to leave.” Aspen snickered. “River, high-five! We did it!”
It was an awkward high-five, but it felt nice.
Perfectly timed with the clap was the appearance of a twirling paper-man. It had been weird to see them move anyway, but a twirl was messing with their minds badly enough that River had to look away.
【Five winners this time】, the Gambler said in amazement. 【Although you two have the highest value, followed by that girl. Not bad, not bad!】
“Does your game work according to participation?”
【Yes! Our pay-out depends on what each of you did!】 The paper-form looking like Aspen nodded. It was so much calmer than River’s Gambler.
“So… Wouldn’t you want to have the least winners possible for the highest pay-out?” River’s eyes narrowed. That meant he would have to change his strategy the next game, otherwise he might infuriate the-
【No? Why?】 The Gambler smiled. 【Five winners, how nice!】
“You are so weird”, Aspen blurted out.
【Are we?】 The see-through mouth of the Gambler opened into a huge “O”. 【I don’t think we are! But time is tight. You did well, so we want to give you a reward again. We thought-】
“Wait!”
Aspen’s shout interrupted him.
“Aspen?” River raised an eyebrow at the smaller man, who cleared his throat.
“This time… Could you do something specific? Nothing that should be too hard for you. I just want for someone to die in a way that looks like an accident.”
The paper-man tilted his head. 【You mean, sudden heart failure?】
“Or an allergic reaction, or something falling onto his head, whatever. I don’t care. I just want him dead.” The malice in his words was dripping.
【Sure.】 The Gambler had no problem with it, agreeing directly. 【Who?】
“The one who had the Deer mark in this game.”
【Will be done! Easy enough. Okay, see you next time again!】
A wave, a flourish, a spark and the thing vanished again.
Aspen exhaled audibly, relieved that his request had been accepted. They both knew why Aspen had asked for it, and the realization left a lump in River’s throat. Their relationship was turning weird, but it was neither bad nor good – it was a change, and what they’d make of it was completely up to them. What a weird feeling, to suddenly be in control of something in his life.
River closed his eyes. Despite knowing, he asked anyway. “Why did you do that?”
Aspen reached for his hand, tugging at it. “…I said I’ll protect you. He won’t hurt you anymore.”
“You are messing with my usual way of doing nothing”, River complained half-heartedly, walking to the door. He didn’t let go of Aspen, so they entered together.
…..He hadn’t wanted to be brought here.
He knew that he had problems, yes, but he thought they were manageable. He wasn’t that bad, was he?
But his family didn’t agree. He was a burden, they told him, and threw him into the asylum. He got suspicious the moment that he realized his family hadn’t paid any money and that he was brought at night.
There were only good words about this place, but he long knew that the brightest light threw the darkest shadows. This place’s shadow… was the third floor.
The fear consumed him.
None of the staff talked to him, and sometimes he was forgotten for days. Meals were scarce and disgusting. Cleaning didn’t happen.
He cried himself to sleep daily, suffering from pain and terror.
But then someone knocked.
It was a very dull sound that came from the side. He thought it was a hallucination at first, but it came regularly. Hesitant, he returned the knock.
Only a sound. Nothing more, but it was the best moment of his day.
If he was scared, he would knock several times and would get slow, calming knocks back. If he woke up at night, a soft knock would be returned with a soft knock. If he hit the walls in pain, the response was constant and gentle, a reminder – you’re not alone, I’m also here, I know you exist.
But the knocks died down.
They came weaker and weaker. He knew that they were starving right now – the nurses had forgotten again or were too lazy – so it was likely that his cell neighbor was hungry.
That, or…
The knocks never returned.
And he decided he had to run away.
Leave this place, or leave it as a corpse. Did it matter so much to try and run away? If they caught him, what could be worse than the current situation? Besides, maybe he’d survive?
He wanted to leave and tell everyone about this place.
He wanted to tell them about everyone who had been cruelly abandoned and forgotten. He wanted to tell them – we are alive. We deserve to live, and we deserve peace. We don’t deserve pain just because we are sick.
We are alive, and we are not bad people.
We can be kind enough to calm a suffering neighbor through knocks, even though we ourselves are in pain and suffering.
Don’t forget about us.
Solved: Harmless, mindless, hopeless
Trivia: Old asylums
In fact, many asylums of the early 20th century didn’t have their staff wear uniforms. The overall state of privacy, hygiene and treatment was also much more similar to the third floor. There were very ridiculous reasons for getting brought to these places – for example, a husband could send his wife off to an asylum just because she defied him.
Patients were crammed into huge rooms that they all had to share and torturous treatments were common. Patients usually ended up sicker (both mentally and physically) than before they entered.
I don’t know if I should think that, yet I’m really relieved that Deer is gone. No doubt, his brother will probably find another reason to torture him.
I have a question, where can we find the fanarts? (I had seen them at the very beginning, I can’t find them anymore.) I like to see the way other people imagine the characters.
Also…um…could I make one? >\\< I would like a clear picture of River and Aspen. Thanks for the chapter!!
There’s no gathered page sadly! The art is on the specific chapter it is attributed to if I made or commissioned it, while fanart is just on the next chapters where I got them. Would you like a list of the chapters where they are? 🙂
And of course!!! I love fanart 😀
Owiii~!! Eh Eh, um….I would like a list please
-‘v’-.
I’ll go read everything again when the work is finished, as for the fanart, it will be my contribution for the work you provide. (if you want me to illustrate a future passage tell me, I’m an artist and mangaka after all :3)
Chapter 2-5: Original Tarot Cards
Chapter 8: Fanart Tarot Cards
Chapter 11: Original Tarot Card (Deer)
Chapter 38: Commission (Gambler River)
Chapter 59: Commission (River + Aspen)
Also wow! A mangaka! That’s really cool 😀
My only pride in my life XD. Well my main practice is more landscape at the moment, but manga is what I like the most.
Thanks for the list!
First I will make the design from the text. Hmmm….I have a little idea of the passage I’m going to draw~
I cried at the last paragraph😭 Half of me wanted to be a psychiatrist but half of me is afraid that I might not be able to handle my mental health because I get overly empathize with others.
This whole arc made me shed tears.
Thank u for your hard work and be well.