Fool, Grandpa Can Transform!Ch3 - I’m not human anymore, but you are the real dog!

Sea otter Fugui was pinched by his fateful nape and the otter felt uncomfortable all over.

He exhausted almost all his strength to break free from Xie Tianlang’s grasp, but it was obviously to no avail – after he had turned into a sea otter, his entire body size had shrunk by more than half, and the sea otter itself is not a fierce beast with great strength, it’s a cute little beast that can only rub its face and sunbathe, okay?! F1823

So, the sea otter Fugui, who had struggled fruitlessly, couldn’t bear it anymore and roared at Xie Tianlang. Of course, he wasn’t stupid enough to spit out human words and reveal his golden finger, i.e., that he could transform. Gou Fugui even decided that, as long as he was still in sea otter form and still with these people, he would never revert into a human and reveal his true identity.

Therefore, the roar that brewed in Gou Fugui’s chest and burst out of his mouth wasn’t a “f*ck you” or “I’m your father” type of greeting, but a series of… indescribable cries characteristic of sea otters ——

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

“hah ah ah —— hah hah waaah!!!”

What a lonely roar— even after howling with all his might, it was completely devoid of any semblance of authority. a uwts

Xie Tianlang watched as the sea otter howled and struggled desperately in his hands, even trying to scratch him with its two short paws and even shorter claws, and raised his eyebrows. This little thing it’s not too big but it’s quite temperamental. It also felt smooth and oily to the touch, quite vigorous.

It just didn’t seem to be in its right mind.

“It shouldn’t be sick if it’s so spirited. If you can’t braise it, it should still be possible to eat the meat raw.”

“The skin is good; if you peel it off and make it into a waterproof bag, it should last for a long time.”

LJU6vo

As he listened to these words, the sea otter Fugui was simply stunned by this wolfish rogue‘s shamelessness.

Listen to what you are saying, is this human language?! Faced with such a cute sea otter Fugui, you actually want to eat Laozi raw, and you still want to peel Laozi’s skin off to make a waterproof bag?!

I’m not f*cking human anymore, but you’re the real dog!

“squeak ahhhhhh! ow ow ow!” r9jeyt

By this time, the other three Second Team members who had fallen from mid-air with Xie Tianlang had all gathered around, all of them looking a bit wretched. But Gou Fugui, who was being pinched by the neck, noticed that when these three men came to Xie Tianlang’s side, they all looked relieved as if they trusted him very much.

There was indeed something different about this Xie Tianlang who was trusted by them. It was clear that he was stranded in a savage sea, wave after wave, and the other three men were using all their strength to keep their balance amidst the stormy waves, but Xie Tianlang didn’t seem to be bothered by the waves at all.

His body muscles seemed to be able to adjust themselves according to the lapping and rolling of the waves as if he was “drifting with the current“ in the most effortless way.

Gou Fugui stared at his body and the surrounding waves and suddenly felt that the way he floated was as relaxed as a… sea otter. jgUW8a

At this point, Xie Tianlang also spoke to the three team members who had gathered around him.

“Didn’t you learn how to work your muscles in the water and the best floating posture? If you don’t use them at this time, when else do you plan to use them? Once you’re dead?”

Obviously, Xie Tianlang had even given a standard non-toothy smile at the end of his sentence, but Gou Fugui was still keen enough to notice the other three men shiver in unison. But soon the three men’s posture became a lot more relaxed as they floundered in the sea, at least preserving the most strength amidst these raging stormy waves.

Tsk, it was really obvious who was the boss at first glance. vfhYrx

The sea otter Fugui struggled once more and found that he still couldn’t escape, so he rolled his eyes and started rubbing his face and combing his fur with his two little paws.

As a real sea otter, he couldn’t forget to comb his fur at all times.

Read more BL at chrysanthemumgarden (dot) com

At this time, the captain of the Second Team, Qin Feng, swam over with some difficulty, and when he saw that Xie Tianang was actually holding a sea otter that was rubbing its face and combing its fur, the expression on his face went blank for a moment.

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

But soon he said, “There are sea otters on this side of the world as well as the sea, does that mean that the ecological system of this world is similar to ours?” at3Rk2

Xbe Meuel geyyfv tlr ojmf jcv rtbbx tlr tfjv rfmgfais. Ktfgf’r lcvffv j rfj tfgf, yea atlr rfj baafg lc ogbca bo sbe lr cba j cjalnf qgbvema bo atlr kbgiv, tf lr tfgf ab rjnf atf kbgiv pera ilxf sbe.

Wlf Kljcijcu uijcmfv ja atf rfj baafg lc tlr tjcv, ktb kjr geyylcu tlr ojmf, mbwylcu tlr oeg, jcv rtjxlcu tlr tfjv, jcv revvfcis tf kjr j yla rqffmtifrr. Glv atlr ilaaif atlcu atlcx atja la mbeivc’a rageuuif jcswbgf jcv ujnf eq vlgfmais? Aera cbk, tf kjr oijlilcu jybea klat tlr affat jcv mijkr, yea cbk tf rajgafv mbwylcu tlr oeg.

Sure enough, the brain is not very good, but this attitude of conforming to fate is quite good.

“Just one sea otter is not enough to conclude anything yet. Qin Feng and Lu Hu tie the life-saving airbags together, Sanchuan determine the direction, don’t waste time here.” FrcLmR

The wind and waves here were too strong; if they couldn’t find a boat or get to shore soon even a well-trained national elite wouldn’t last long.

The three men nodded, and then Qin Feng and Lu Hu began to tie the life-saving airbags. Meanwhile, he glanced around a few times with some worry, but the sky was grey and the rain was pouring down; he could hardly see anything except the curtain of rain between heaven and earth. Naturally, it was impossible to see if there were any other teammates on the sea beside the four of them who had fallen from mid-air.

Hopefully, the other six teammates didn’t plummet into this vast sea, as all nine of the second team jumped into the vortex arm in arm, but, in the end, only three of them came together.

Boss Xie, who was in a team by himself and disliked their ugly stances, didn’t jump arm in arm with them but still fell into the sea with them. It’s really impossible to determine what the criterion for landing inside the Doomsday Gate is. kiNLgo

At this moment, the all-rounder Second Team member, Song Sanchuan, opened a small bag he was carrying and pulled out a small metal detector from it. The detector trembling flew into the air under his control, but before it could transmit the commonly used communication waves or take some high-resolution photos, it was knocked down by a huge wave.

Song Sanchuan let out a distressed cry and swam over with his arms swinging to retrieve his metal detector, then reported to Xie Tianlang with some frustration, “Boss, the detector doesn’t work here, ahem, the weather is too harsh!”

If the entire world here was full of such vast seas and violent storms, then he really didn’t know how they could save it.

Just as such a thought came to Song Sanchuan, he suddenly froze. S6puNX

The sea otter Fugui, who had already combed his belly, saw the four people in front of him freeze, and, after a moment, it dawned on him.

They also must be receiving the instructions of the World Consciousness on how to save the world. He wondered if the four of them would get a bit of favoritism from the World’s Father as well. Give them a golden finger or something.

As Gou Fugui rubbed and waited, the four collectively returned to their senses after ten seconds or so. Just looking at their appearances, none of them should have received the World Father’s favoritism.

“Ahahah.” NgwzP0

The sea otter Fugui let out three pleased and joyful sea otter cries. It was true that when it came to character, he, Fugui’er, had the best one.

“Boss Xie, Boss Qin! Did you all hear that?” Lu Hu of the second team asked in a jarring voice.

Read more BL at chrysanthemumgarden (dot) com

Qin Feng nodded his head, but the expression on his face was a bit more serious.

“If we want to save this doomed world we have to find the core of the world and repair it. The way to repair it is to solve the root cause of the Doomsday, or to preserve the minimum amount of life force.” NwYTWX

“But we can’t do either of those things right now. The priority is to quickly get out of the sea and get ashore. Once we’re ashore we can quickly understand the state of the world and determine the source of the doom before we can search for the world’s core or do what we can.”

“But the storm here is so strong that we are even struggling to stay afloat, and Sanchuan’s mechanical detector doesn’t work, so how can we find the nearest direction to get ashore, or find a boat?”

Song Sanchuan wiped the beads of water from his face, “It’s useless to look for a ship, with a storm of this magnitude, even a standard aircraft carrier wouldn’t be able to hold out! Cough, as long as we can find a mechanical power unit! I can modify it so it can tow us away quickly!” LClriI

“If we are left on our own in this sea, even Devil Xie, ahem, Boss Xie wouldn’t be able to swim out on its own.”

As Song Sanchuan spoke, he suddenly glanced at the sea otter Fugui who was rubbing his feet with very envious eyes: “If only we were all sea otters! Animals like sea otters are born to float on the surface of the sea!”

Gou Fugui nodded approvingly at those words, then looked up and gave the baby-faced youth a little look that said ‘you have a very good eye’. It seems that you and I have the same dream, it’s just a pity that this dream will never come true for you in your entire lifetime, while I can.

“Welp! Boss Xie! This sea otter just looked up at me… but why do I think his eyes were a bit strange? It seemed to carry three parts pity, three parts appreciation, and four parts complacency?” CHp3Ta

Xie Tianlang glanced at Song Sanchuan and smiled falsely, “Oh, maybe it’s because it thinks you’re stupid and cute.”

“Just like itself.”

Song Sanchuan and sea otter Fugui froze simultaneously.

Sea otter Fugui roared at Xie Tianlong once more. kFnuXd

“Aaaaahhhhhh! Ow ow ow ow!” You’re the one who’s stupid and cute! Your whole family is stupid and cute!

Only, the sea otter Fugui’s rant was viciously cut off midway through by the ruthless and stupid human. Xie Tianlang squeezed the skin on the back of the sea otter Fugui’s neck again (he had let go midway through seeing how he was comfortably grooming itself and not running away), “Well, don’t scream at me. No other otter will come to your rescue even if you scream your throat out.”

The sea otter Fugui: “……” My God, you can still say such a hackneyed joke to a sea otter! vsEjPz

Xie Tianlang reached out and gave sea otter Fugui’s soft, chubby body a little shake, and spoke indifferently in the face of the otter’s accusing eyes, “Move your little nose and smell if there are any people or land around here.”

“Or else, I’ll eat you.”

Sea otter Fugui: “……”

Qin Feng, Lu Hu: “……” d4RlKo

Is this how you threaten a sea otter? Boss Xie, no way! It’s not going to happen!

Song Sanchuan, however, hit his palm at this time: “How could I have forgotten this! The sea otter’s sense of smell is quite sensitive, and every sea otter can smell all kinds of scents from 8,000 meters away!”

“How wise of you, Boss Xie! How could you have randomly caught a sea otter! But… does this sea otter understand?” 8BhNa4

Xie Tianlang looked at the little sea otter that was already rolling its eyes at him, and suddenly revealed a smile that was completely different from his previous fake smile; it was a delighted smile. “It’s probably a fate from heaven. And, it will understand.”

The sea otter Fugui: “Ah” Heh.

Fate you father; this is a heaven-sent calamity, right?

But in the end, the pitiful sea otter Fugui was forced to listen to Xie Tianlang and became a guide otter. iwFKUA

In addition to his own desire to quickly leave the stormy sea and find human life, that wolfish rogue was simply fiercer than a fierce man and was really threatening his otter body’s safety in every way possible!

Not to mention always tugging on his tail, pinching his face, and patting his butt, but in the end, he even took out a small knife and gestured at him as if he would really skin him and eat him if he didn’t cooperate!

Read more BL at chrysanthemumgarden (dot) com

The sea otter Fugui angrily paddled ahead, using his tail to splash the wolfish rogue’s face with water. Let this guy drink his bath water, and don’t let him run into this guy again when he gets out of the sea, or he’ll have to give him the middle finger right to his face.

After ten minutes of swimming in one direction, the sea otter Fugui’s little nose finally picked up a familiar scent. lIbd8H

It was the scent of the “living”, and beyond that, the scent of blood and death.

The sea otter Fugui straightened up suddenly, his little head and small eyes looking straight in that direction.

The group of four that was closely following him immediately noticed his abnormality. Xie Tianlang reached out and squeezed the sea otter’s fateful nape again: “Yuanyuan, do you smell the scent of humans?”

Gou Fugui struggled angrily, “Ow.” You’re the round one, your whole family is round.

Xie Tianlang chuckled, let go of his nape, and turned his hand to touch the little sea otter’s head, “Good job, I’ll feed you an extra little fish later.”

The sea otter Fugui drifted back and combed the fur on his head in disgust: “Ah ah!” jqeorA

Don’t touch Daddy’s head! Did Daddy ask you for food? And you want to feed me a little fish? Let’s just say that in this sea, you’re all starving to death, and Daddy is well-fed!

What’s more, I’m eating sea urchins, crabs, and shells, which are worth a lot of money!

 

  wOpdlR

 

The author has something to say:

Xie Tianlang: Yuanyuan, come on, smell it.

Sea otter Fugui: …… qULiXR

Xie Tianlang: Yuanyuan, come, eat the fish.

Sea otter Fugui:… eat your grandpa, you really can’t outlive me you know?!

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

 


  VkC4Sv

petty’s note:
Everyone, I’m so sorry it took me so long to upload a new chapter but I was so busy with university I didn’t even realise so much time had passed. I’m relatively less busy these days and I’ll try to upload at least 2-3 chapters a week~

 

sorry otter

  avtfu7

And thank you @Sours for the ko-fi!❤️ ♡\( ̄▽ ̄)/♡

Translator's Note

So you know how almost all cats and other feline (or animals in general) will go limp once they are grabbed by the back of their necks?
So this is related to the pinch-induced behavioural inhibition (PIBI), also called dorsal immobility, transport immobility or clipnosis.
The author wrote 命运的后劲皮 which I translated as ‘fateful nape/fate’s nape’ (maybe there is a better way to call it? Tell me if you know~)
And it’s called ‘fateful nape/fate’s nape’ for two reason:
1 – two thirds of cats have this instinct to go limp when grabbed by the nape of their necks and when they don’t have it, they will mostly die young. If there’s danger Mommy Cat will grab the kitten by the back of their necks and if they don’t have that instinct they will struggle and meow meow which will either cause Mommy Cat to drop the kitten to death in its struggle or attract the predators with its meow meow. So if they don’t have that instinct to shush and go limp they will probably be screened out by nature; that’s their fate.
2 – if they do have the instinct, once they go limp limp they will be at the mercy of others and their fate depends on those around it.

Translator's Note

The author wrote 狼人 which means werewolf and 狼 (lang) is also a character in Xie Tianlang’s name 谢天狼 which means ‘wolf’ – but also ‘pervert’.
I didn’t use werewolf because I don’t think it fits in this context? When I read ‘werewolf’ I’m thinking of something like ‘teen wolf’ and actually being able to transform into a wolf; while here I think it’s used more as ‘wolfish’ and being a rascal/rogue/scoundrel? I mean I’m reading this as I translate so I’m on a par with you all and so far it doesn’t seem like he can actually transfom?
I’m actually not too sure of how I should translate it in English, do you have suggestions?

Translator's Note

round-headed and round-brained (圆头圆脑) It should be used to describe someone that is smart or cunning. It should be an endearing term but I’m not too sure, so I translated it as all-rounder.

Translator's Note

一个机械动力装置

Auxiliary power unit? A water turbine? I really don’t know.

Translator's Note

Scream yourself horse, scream your head out

Translator's Note

Here maybe he is referring to ‘The demon king and the princess’ joke. (魔王與公主) I’m really not sure, though. Here’s the joke if you are interested but I couldn’t find a translated version: https://webmail.life.nthu.edu.tw/~b881675/thing/mail/1.htm

Btw, while I was looking for the dead joke above, I found this: NaYGyz

換麵 : .. Noodles replacement

顧客:「老闆,麵裡有一隻死蚊子,可不可以換一下?」Customer: [Boss, there is a dead mosquito in my noodles, can you change it?]

Chrysanthemum Garden.

老闆:「可以,換隻活的嗎?」Boss: [Yes, I can change it to an alive one?]

Okay I’ll stop.

Translator's Note

I suppose this should be the famous ‘fist hitting palm’ of anime?

From japanesewithanime: “In anime, sometimes a character gestures bringing down a fist on an open palm, like a hammer hitting a drum, when they have an idea, an epiphany, in their “ah!” moments when they finally understand or realize something. This is sometimes accompanied by an idea light bulb.”fist hitting palm

Translator's Note

那个狼人实在是比狠人狠太多

狼 – wolf
狠 – fierce, tough
狼人 (langren)- again here werewolf
是个狼人 – to be a werewolf
是比狠人狠太多 – fiercer than a fierce man

From Baidu: “To be a werewolf, which evolved from “to be a ruthless man” in the Internet language, which means “a little bit more ruthless than a ruthless man”. It is usually used to ridicule someone who does not play cards according to common sense, but can achieve miraculous results, giving people an unexpectedly powerful feeling.”

From szdaily: ““是” means “is,” “个” is a quantifier, and “狼人” literally means “wolfman.” This saying, coined by Chinese netizens, is a play on words, as the character “狼” (wolf), has one more stroke than the character “狠” (hěn, meaning “tough, ferocious”). Roughly translated as “she/he’s a genius,” it’s often used jokingly when someone comes up with a wild card kind of solution to a problem that actually works.” d3k14S

So maybe here it could also be translated as smarter than a cunning man?

Translator's Note

Taking measurements, comparing-

Translator's Note

圆圆 – yuanyuan
圆 – round

So it’s basically calling him ‘round round’. E04Loe

Yuanyuan is also the name of a female giant panda born in 2004.

Leave a Comment

27 comments

  1. »Xie Tianwolf glanced at Song Sanchuan and smiled falsely..« Tianlang

    Set our poor otter free D: Dare to threaten him, tsk.

    Thx for the ch ٩( >ヮ<)۶ And no worries, I hope your uni goes well :3

  2. eheheh Gou Fugui is delightful

    thanks for the update!! also, good luck with your studies (๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ

  3. I wonder when he’ll manage to escape. 😅

    Thanks for the chapter! Don’t worry translator, that can happen to us all. I’m very happy to see that this wasn’t dropped for whatever reason.

  4. So I would like to point out to the author who will never see this that Otters are Mustalids which include badgers, wolverines, and weasels. I’m not as familiar with sea otters as I am with river but they typically have loose skin and powerful biteforces. Yes otters are cute but if the MC wanted too he could mess up the ML’s arm. Anyway, only read the first paragraph sorry, I’ll get back to it

  5. Our Sea Otter Fugui seems to be so cute 🥰

    but hasn’t gone to capture food for himself right? Idk of MC has the skills to catch prey, so maybe Rouge Tianlang really will be the provider of food 🤔Hope to see his other otter skills in action in the next few chapters 😄

    Thank you so much for translating ❤🧡💛💚💙💜🖤🤎🤍