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Editor: Badman
It was hot.
On a summer day where you’d sweat buckets from just sitting still, I found myself standing in the dead middle of the central square during its peak altitude hours.
Literally, the central square was the square located in the centre of S.E. There were many people busily moving about, squinting their eyes against the harsh sunlight beating down upon them, yet the person I had been awaiting for two hours had yet to appear. I was currently in the midst of absent-mindedly waiting for that bastard Jung Haekyung at the location where he had gone ahead and promised to meet me via text. The thought of just leaving filled the inside of my head, but I painstakingly resisted the urge.
Two years had passed since I met Jung Haekyung. Despite the fact that he toyed with me in the palm of his hand and would openly kiss me in various locations, suddenly push me to have sex with him, meddle with my schedule and every single one of my interpersonal relationships, and cut and paste things to suit his whims, it wasn’t easy for me to hate him. I couldn’t forget the fact that he was the one who lent me a hand during my hardest times.
However, the rumours surrounding Jung Haekyung were all true. Rather, the rumours I had tried so hard to ignore seemed to underestimate him. That bastard, who had everything in the world, lacked one particular thing—character.
The way he pretended to be all well-mannered, kind, and amiable was, quite literally, just a pretense, and I was the only one in S.E. who remained oblivious to this truth.
Crazy bastard. I mumbled in a low tone. Waiting in the central square meant that Jung Haekyung was in a foul mood. There weren’t any buildings or trees here, not even a single bench.
However, considering that this square served as the hub connecting each and every district, a continuous flow of people moved through it, shooting occasional glances my way. To make me stand here, exposed to the scorching sun without a hint of shade, was meant to make me reflect on what I did wrong.
What upset him this time? I retraced my steps. When he told me to come, I came; when he told me to eat, I ate; when he told me not to eat, I didn’t eat; when he told me to sleep, I slept; when he told me not to sleep, I stayed awake; when he told me to kiss him, I kissed him; when he told me to have sex with him, I had sex with him; when he told me to suck his dick, I sucked his dick. So why was he kicking up such a fuss again?
The heat only fueled my growing annoyance. Even if I thought it was a waste of time to wait, I had no choice but to stay. Sometimes, Jung Haekyung would come three hours in advance or five hours late, but nevertheless, he always came. Besides, the worse his mood, the longer he’d keep me waiting. Yet, the longer the wait, the kinder he’d act towards me for the next few days. I felt relieved whenever that bastard was in a good mood and anxious as hell whenever he wasn’t. It was the result of repeated learning.
I sighed, glancing at the time indicated on my phone screen. Just then, someone gently tapped my shoulder from behind. I looked back, but it wasn’t who I was waiting for.
“What are you doing here?” A gentle-looking man offered me an iced Americano in a take-out cup. When I didn’t take it, the man said, “I only had a sip. Please have some, First Lieutenant.”
“……”
“You looked like you were on the verge of dying, so…”
Lee Junggeon. Embarrassingly enough… he had recently been assigned as my bodyguard. Jung Haekyung had worried about me, saying I was weak and all, and assigned him as my bodyguard, but only for the times when Jung Haekyung himself wasn’t present at S.E. To think that I was forcibly brought to this institution and labelled as an ability user, but was still assigned a bodyguard. Jung Haekyung had a knack for embarrassing people.
Jung Haekyung was at S.E. at the moment, so there was no need for Lee Junggeon to guard me. He likely spotted me while passing by.
“It’s okay.”
The iced Americano, with beads of water forming on its surface, looked very refreshing, but I refrained from accepting gestures of goodwill from others. Because Jung Haekyung hated it.
“Should I buy you a new one?” Lee Junggeon asked once more. Despite holding a higher rank than me, he treated me as though he were treating a superior. I had never experienced something like this before, so I felt a little flustered. Given that Jung Haekyung was the one appointing them, it wasn’t uncommon for my bodyguards to outrank me. Hence, a considerable number of them disliked me. I understood their reluctance to protect me, given that my rank was lower than theirs and that aside from training, all I did was paperwork, which exempted me from any real danger. Besides, I was also at the centre of a whole bunch of weird rumours.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
Still, it was draining for me as well to be constantly surrounded by people who didn’t like me. It felt awful to have people watch my every move.
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“It’s fine, so just go back to what you were doing,” I coldly said for the sake of Lee Junggeon, who didn’t actually hate me all that much. However, he suddenly forced the iced Americano into my hand.
“Please enjoy.”
Then, he turned around and walked away. What was that? A new attempt to fuck with me? Something he had orchestrated with Jung Haekyung? I glanced at the iced Americano in my hand, its coolness wetting my skin. I wanted to drink it, but… I knew what I had to do in moments like these. I poured the Americano onto the ground of the square. The brown liquid and clear ice spilled out, the ice melting the moment it met the hot floor, which had been warmed up by the heat.
I wished Jung Haekyung could see this. I only eat what you give me, I only wait for you, and I only think of you, so I don’t know what’s gotten you so pissed off, but it’s time to stop now. I was thirsty enough to want to lick the ground, so hurry up and come. After all, wasn’t I only allowed to drink the Americano you bought me?
After approximately thirty minutes, I spotted Jung Haekyung in the distance, leisurely walking as he basked in the sunlight. Even as he stood before me, I continued to use my military boots to splash the remaining liquid on the ground. Brown droplets splattered onto Jung Haekyung’s shoes. I asked him, “Did you see it?”
“Yeah.”
“Was it your order?”
“Maybe?”
“Why?”
“Is it hot?”
Jung Haekyung used one hand to create shade above my forehead and the other to fan me. He left me standing for two and a half hours before coming. Even though I was already feeling hot enough, I could still feel a simmering anger brew within me, but I just thought that it was a relief that Jung Haekyung’s mood seemed to have improved a little. Plus, I found myself pathetic, having to keep an eye on his mood while not even knowing what I did wrong.
“It’s hot,” I said with a small sigh, and Jung Haekyung grabbed my hand. I didn’t want to add any more heat because it was already hot enough, but I also didn’t do anything crazy like pull my hand away. Jung Haekyung asked, “What do you want to drink?”
“…An Americano.”
Even in a summer as humid as this, Jung Haekyung was still able to break into a cool smile before walking away. However, a smile like that was no longer able to change how I felt. Still, since I was now sitting down in a cafe with the air conditioning running and had a cold drink on me, I felt like I could finally breathe.
Even though the day was far from over, fatigue overwhelmed me, and dizziness set in, prompting me to lean back on the chair. The chair, designed with the store’s turnover rate in mind, was stiff. Nonetheless, having something to lean my back against, I let my eyes flutter shut.
“Have you thought about it?”
Jung Haekyung, who had been making origami out of a piece of tissue, threw an airplane at me. The airplane made of tissue paper couldn’t get very far with its flimsy wings and fell atop the table. A sudden dryness settled in my mouth, even though I just had something to drink. I raised my body a little, sitting up straight.
“…I don’t know.”
“You’ve started coming up with excuses lately, huh?” Jung Haekyung spoke in a carefree tone, still seated in a relaxed manner. However, I involuntarily sat up straight. But I genuinely didn’t know. What had I done wrong?
You don’t know what you did wrong? I don’t know. You don’t even know that? I’m sorry. What are you sorry for? I don’t know. If you don’t know, then why do you feel sorry? I wasn’t sure if he’d seen in the Romance White Paper Chapter 107 how this endlessly continuing algorithm sucked the life out of people or whatever, but it seemed like he was determined to pin some wrongdoing on me, even if all I did was breathe. I was actually going to lose my mind. However, expressing my guesses, even if they amounted to no more than a speck of dust, could cause an even bigger problem. Yet, I couldn’t keep repeating, “I don’t know.” Not answering him wasn’t an option either.
“…I don’t know. Please tell me.”
“……”
“…Haekyung-ah…”
Haekyung silently chuckled as he stared at me. I picked up the cup I had drunk from, the only thing remaining in it being the ice. I placed a singular ice cube in my mouth and chewed it. The broken bits of ice melted in my mouth, but my thirst wouldn’t go away. I wanted to smoke a cigarette. However, the cafe was a non-smoking area, so I settled with slipping my hand into my pocket and running my fingers over the corners of my cigarette case.
How would I know, you son of a bitch? Your very existence is the single wrongest thing in the world, you crazy bastard. I voiced the words I couldn’t articulate aloud in my mind. The countless hours I’ve spent cursing, screaming, crying, begging, hitting, fighting, breaking, ignoring, cursing again, screaming, crying, and begging proved futile. But if there was one thing I learned during that time, it was that the more I expressed my emotions, the more satisfied Jung Haekyung seemed. Whether I trembled or cursed him out, nothing would change, and he probably liked seeing me cry and beg the most.
When I let out a sigh after having tired myself out, Jung Haekyung began to slowly and rhythmically tap on the table, going tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. My heart shook and rattled with each touch of his white fingertip against the table. Feeling a headache rush at me, I pressed down on my eyebrows, but that provided no relief whatsoever.
The cafe was quiet in the afternoon, but there were the usual sounds. But to my ears, only the sound of his fingertips—ones I had once deemed beautiful—resonated and amplified. Though all he was doing was lightly tapping the table, that was the only sound I could hear. Cold sweat trickled down my back, but my lips felt dry. I licked my lips with the tip of my tongue, reflecting on my actions once more. Maybe I had engaged in a private conversation with someone, or maybe I had veered off track from the schedule Jung Haekyung had made for me. Maybe there was something I hadn’t mentioned to him, even if it was the smallest of changes…
“No way…”
Jung Haekyung suddenly stopped tapping on the table. Then, he leisurely leaned back on the chair again. I, quite literally, went “no way” and opened my mouth to say, “Did I not tell you that… I was transferred to the 2nd platoon?”
Tap, tap, he tapped twice on the table. It was as if he were clapping because I got the answer right. In that moment, I couldn’t control my rising anger, as if my resolution to not show my emotions was for naught.
“Hey… you son of a bitch…”
“Why are you swearing?”
“You were the one who sanctioned that!”
“So I have to hear about your news through documents?”
“…This was something you decided.”
“That doesn’t matter.”
“…What?”
“I want to hear it from you. Everything that happens to you.”
Suddenly changing the platoon I was affiliated with or promoting me to a higher rank for no reason or context whatsoever was one of the things Jung Haekyung found joy in doing. It was obvious he was doing this to ensure that I wouldn’t be able to interact with my co-workers beyond a certain period of time. I couldn’t believe that he, of all people, had been lashing out at me all this time because I hadn’t told him I had moved platoons. It was so ridiculous that I was rendered speechless.
Yeah, up until last time, I had continued to argue with him over this again and again. Please just stop doing things the way you please. Just leave me be. However, the angrier I got and the more swearing I did, the more often my affiliations changed. The rankings of my bodyguards just kept rising and rising, and everyone was growing warier of me. My office continued to grow uselessly big, even though no one visited it.
So, when I was transferred to somewhere new this time, I just accepted it, giving up on arguing with him. But I had no clue why this evolved into an issue of me not telling him about my news. I couldn’t fathom why I had to essentially disclose every detail of my business to him. However, dwelling on such a matter seemed like a headache, so I simply brushed it aside. I knew that the harder I thought about it, the more difficult it’d be for me to handle the bubbling and boiling of my brain, so I’d rather just not think about it at all.
I buried my face in my hands, thinking that my anxious self seemed so pathetic that it was almost pitiful. I tried to kill the burning heat that several of my emotions had undergone. I didn’t want to reveal anything in front of him, but I failed again. All I’d been doing after meeting him was fail.
After some time had passed, Jung Haekyung, who had been sitting across from me at the four-person table, moved over to the seat beside me. He tilted his head as he stared at me, asking, “Are you angry?”
“…No.”
“Lies. You’re angry, aren’t you?”
“…You think I’d dare lie to you?”
Jung Haekyung let out a small sigh. The quivering of his long, thick eyelashes as they looked downward resembled a painting, yet I was no longer fooled. Jung Haekyung spoke in a pitiful-sounding voice, “Do you think I want to do this?”
“…What?”
“A hundred minor accidents occur before one major does.”
He touched the tip of my hair in a ticklish manner.
“So the best way to prevent a major accident is to thoroughly crack down on the little ones first,” he slowly and quietly whispered, as if placing importance on his nonsensical words, as he always did.
“In the first place, it’s common sense that, in order to prevent a crime, one must thoroughly clean the entire surroundings, leaving no room for even the slightest mishap to go unnoticed. This ensures that nobody would even dare to think about doing something.”
The introductory course in criminology did say something similar. However, Jung Haekyung had ignored the following paragraph, which remarked that excessive control can provoke resistance, and imposing additional punishment for trivial matters can lead to a bigger crime to cover it up. I wondered, just how was his brain formed for him to only be able to see what he wanted to see? And why was he applying that logic to me? What the hell did I do to deserve to be treated like a potential criminal? It really did seem like, deep down to his bones, he was part of the upper ranks of S.E.
“So, Euijin-ah,”
When he called out my name, I locked eyes with him.
“Tell me everything that happens to you from now on.”
“……”
“Tell me eve…”
“Alright, I’ll tell you.”
Jung Haekyung laughed as he tapped his lips with his fingers. I kissed him. His lips tasted like mango frappes. My insides churned, and my body trembled. He gently grabbed my jaw with his hand and squeezed it, making me open my mouth. When his tongue entered my mouth, I squeezed my eyes shut, suppressing the urge to vomit.
orcinus comments:
euijin’s stronger than I am bc I would’ve died of high blood pressure and stress
The way he repeats stuff is so creepy
I love how the author uses repetition so much to reinforce that MC is trapped
The author was a genius for doing that, perfectly displaying the subtle creepy language and words he says, frustrating both is and the MC
Vomit on him please