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Editor: Badman
Haekyung stepped on the accelerator as hard as he was crazy, making it so we arrived at S.E. five minutes before the return time. Wondering if it really was right to choose Jung Haekyung instead of leaving a desertion record or having to go to the laboratory every evening, I headed towards the dormitory. All I did was sleep these days, but I still felt drowsiness rush into me. Days that were this tiring were rare.
Haekyung immediately left for another mission the following day. The Haekyung whom I had reencountered after ten days was the same as usual. He was still flashing me a friendly smile, speaking to me in a kind tone, touching me in a close kind of way, and suggesting that we do this and that together. I was acting much more unnaturally and stiffly than I usually did, but I couldn’t just openly distance myself from him or reject him. I was scared. Scared that he’d suddenly do something again.
However, Haekyung was about the same as usual, as if what had happened during the vacations were just a dream. It made me feel even more scared and made me feel relieved, and even while thinking that he was weird, I thought of myself as being too sensitive as well, and even though I wanted to get along with him again by rationalising everything as a joke, I wanted to keep some distance from him too.
Bzzzz.
My phone vibrated. The phone, which Haekyung had bought, almost never rang. Well, there were only three people who knew this number. Director Baek, my father’s secretary, and Jung Haekyung. Director Baek could be seen outside the window right now, and Haekyung was right beside me, so it must’ve been my father’s secretary. However, when I looked at the screen, an unregistered number—one that I recognised—popped up. It was someone who almost never called me first.
“Yes, Father.”
I got up from my seat and walked over to one corner of the wall as I picked up the call. I could feel Haekyung’s gaze on me.
─Have you been well?
“Yes.”
─It was Chuseok not too long ago. I’m sorry I couldn’t come see you.
“…Yes.”
─I heard that you were staying at Lieutenant General Jung Kyungwon’s house at that time?
“…I spent a night over at a friend’s house.”
─Is that friend’s name Jung Haekyung?
“Yes.”
The sound of my father taking a breath was transmitted over the receiver.
─You’ve made a good friend.
“…Yes.”
─I’ll be in Korea for a while because something came up, so free up some time on the weekend.
“I’m prohibited from leaving…”
─I can come to the institution.
“I don’t know if they’ll let us meet. I’m currently under disciplinary action.”
─I’ve heard that you’ve gone home quite a few times, though. Are you sure you can’t leave or have any visits?
“……”
─I want to see your friend then too.
“That friend is busy…”
─Just a moment is fine.
“……”
─Then, see you on the weekend.
The call was hung up. I had told him I didn’t know if I was allowed any visits, but it was just like him to say that he was still coming on the weekend anyway. Either way, he wasn’t someone who would come just because he was told to come and leave just because he was told to leave. If he needed to see me, then he’d come see me somehow. However, I had no intention of introducing him to Haekyung. A large part of me didn’t want to do things the way my father wanted me to do them, but I had also recently begun to raise my guard against Haekyung. Besides, Haekyung was actually busy with several missions. When I returned to my seat and sat down, Haekyung asked, “Who was it?”
He had heard me say “Father,” though. Haekyung would sometimes confirm things that he clearly knew already. I wanted to tell him that he didn’t need to know, but I wasn’t confident I’d be able to deal with the aftermath, so I meekly answered, “My father.”
“What happened?”
“It’s just… he was asking about my wellbeing.”
“Just that?”
“No… well…”
Just then, the instructor called me. I hurriedly got up and said goodbye to him with my eyes before heading towards the instructor. It was the first time I felt that making my way to Director Baek wasn’t all that bad.
That evening, I received an email from my father’s secretary. It said that my father was actually going to come for a visit this Sunday. S.E. had even given him permission. I knew that he had some extent of connections with S.E., but he had never once used them.
When Sunday morning came, my mood took a sharp turn for the worse, and I barely touched my omelette. Then, I saw Haekyung enter the cafeteria. Haekyung naturally took a seat beside me. Then, he asked, as kindly as ever, “What’s with your expression? Did something bad happen?”
“No… You’re already back from Jinhan? I heard it’d take a week.”
“Today’s an important day, so I hurried and wrapped things up to come here.”
“What day is it?”
“It’s the day I see my father-in-law.”
“…Father-in-law? You’re married?”
Upon hearing my words, Haekyung hit the table with his fork and laughed. Even now, the sight of him laughing was quite pretty. Still, I couldn’t understand why my words were so funny to him.
“I’m not married. To be precise, I’m meeting the person who’ll become my father-in-law?”
The father of the person he was dating? To think that he was dating someone. I didn’t get that vibe from him at all. I couldn’t believe that he was hiding a lover while still trying to learn every little thing about me. My mood instantly worsened. It was also possible that, rather than hiding it, he just didn’t tell me until now. Because I hadn’t asked. Still, I couldn’t help but feel sour.
“You have a lover?”
“They’re not my lover yet… To be even more precise, it’s an unrequited love.”
Jung Haekyung and unrequited love. It was only when I heard the incongruous combination of those two words that I realised Haekyung was joking. Was there anyone in this world who wouldn’t grab his hand if he were to offer it? There was always an abundance of people who sought his love. However, Haekyung never showed interest in them, not even once. Was there any way that such a man would have an unrequited love?
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
But, for some reason, Haekyung’s joke put me in a bad mood. Maybe it was because of my sensitivity these days; it seemed like the mood would only get worse if we needlessly stuck together during times like these. So, I quickly finished my omelette and said, “I’ll be leaving first.”
Qtfc P uba eq ogbw ws rfja, Ljfxsecu iloafv tlr agjs, ktlmt tf tjvc’a fnfc abemtfv, jcv rabbv eq jr kfii.
“Sja yfobgf sbe ub.”
“P’ii mbwf klat sbe.”
Ljfxsecu ijeutfv jr tf yewqfv ws rtbeivfg klat tlr bkc. Qts kjr tf lc remt j ubbv wbbv? Zs wbbv kjr rtlaas. Mbg atf olgra alwf, P xlcv bo vlvc’a gfjiis kjca ab rff tlw rwlif. Efujgvifrr bo ktja wbbv P kjr lc, Ljfxsecu obiibkfv wf jii atf kjs ab atf ogbca bo atf vbgwlabgs. P tfrlajafv j yla yfobgf rjslcu, “P tjnf jc jqqblcawfca abvjs.”
“I’ll iron your uniform for you.”
“Huh?”
“I’m super good at ironing uniforms. I make them fit just right.”
“Why wear a uniform?”
“My original look is cool as well, but I look super cool wearing my uniform. I have to show a super cool look today.”
“To whom?”
“My father-in-law.”
“What are you saying?”
“You wear one too. Like a couple look.”
“…What do you keep talking about?”
“Isn’t it at 12? Should I do your hair too?”
“…Is the father-in-law you’re talking about perhaps…”
“Perhaps?”
“…My father?”
Haekyung laughed out loud again. He even started hitting my shoulder, which made me wonder what was so funny. Seeing his reaction, it seemed like I was right about the father-in-law he was talking about being my father. I had a lot of things to say, such as questioning how he knew my father was coming, why there was a need to wear a uniform to a family meeting, and telling him that these kinds of jokes weren’t funny and that they ruined my mood, but I didn’t say anything. Even if I did say them, Jung Haekyung, who lived in his own world, wouldn’t even bother to listen to them with the back of his ear.
Thankfully, no uniforms were worn, but I couldn’t stop him from following me. Was there anyone in this world who could stop Haekyung from doing what he wanted to do? It definitely wasn’t me.
The visiting room S.E. had notified me about was located on the first floor of the main building. I’d never been to any visiting rooms before, but it didn’t look like an ordinary recruit’s visiting area. It looked like an extravagant reception room meant to entertain someone who was at least a senior officer or higher. I didn’t know whether the reason I was able to meet my father here was because of his own power or because of Jung Haekyung’s power.
My father, having arrived first, was sitting on a dark, navy-coloured leather sofa. That appearance of his, wearing a royal blue suit that fit him perfectly and a diagonal stripe-patterned tie without even the slightest hint of untidiness, was one that I hadn’t seen in a long time, but was familiar with nonetheless. He stood up from his seat upon catching sight of us.
“You must be Haekyung. I’ve heard a lot about you from Euijin.”
My father approached Haekyung first and offered him a handshake. Haekyung smiled brightly as he greeted him. “Me too. I’ve only heard about you, so I’m happy to be able to meet you.”
I had no memories of telling Haekyung about my father, nor of telling my father about Haekyung. However, they both conversed very familiarly with each other under the pretext of having heard of each other from me. They sat down and had a full-on conversation, but what surprised me was the fact that they knew more about each other than I did.
“I heard that you signed an exclusive contract with PAS for the M142. Congratulations.”
“Thank you. Well, I was just the middleman.”
“If you change the multiple-launch rocket system, you’ll have to change the ballistic missiles too, as well as all the components that go along with it… You must be busy in the future.”
“Well, there’s always work to do, so I’ll be busy. Is Lieutenant General Jung doing well? I haven’t seen him since the banquet last year, but now that our Euijin has even stayed over at his place and owes him…”
“Owe, you say. My father said that he likes Euijin a lot, saying that he was tall and handsome. Now that I’m looking, Euijin resembles you, Father.”
“Haha, you’re the one who resembles the lieutenant general to a T.”
Staying detached from the world they created, I just drank my water. My father and I couldn’t hold a conversation for any longer than five minutes, but he conversed with Haekyung in such a friendly manner that it was hard to believe that this was their first time meeting.
Given that my father was a businessman, in some ways, it was a natural skill for him to be capable of appropriately socialising with those he needed. However, Haekyung’s friendliness and sociability always surprised me. I had thought that Haekyung was amiable, bright, affable, and kind. It made him shine much brighter than his appearance, background, and ability did. However, I was no longer sure about that. I knew what my father’s goal was, but I didn’t know what Haekyung’s goal was. Was that also a part of the information Director Baek had told him under the pretext of keeping an eye on me? My father only spoke of him, even when Haekyung left his spot for a bit.
“I was super worried when you first came here, but it seems that was all for naught. How did you become close with Haekyung?”
“…Haekyung has always… been very social…”
“It’s nice how this place feels more like a university campus than the army. What’s your rank?”
“I’m still a recruit.”
“And Haekyung?”
“…You already know.”
“……”
“……”
“How did Lieutenant General Jung raise his son so well? Isn’t Haekyung’s ability the most outstanding one here?”
“……”
“What did you say your ability was?”
“…It’s a confidential matter.”
“How was Lieutenant General Jung when you saw him?”
“I don’t know.”
With that as a starting point, my father and I didn’t exchange any more words until Haekyung returned. We probably won’t be meeting for a while now. I was tired of this meeting.
∞
It was not only chilly at night, but also cold now. I spent the evening with Haekyung today as well, and we went to the park for a while, where we sat on a bench together. As the cold wind made my body huddle into itself a bit, Haekyung carefully adjusted my clothes and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. In reaction to his gesture full of aegyo as he clung to my body, I found myself smiling without even realising it. However, my smile faded at his following words.
“Let’s go to my house for dinner this Saturday.”
“What?”
“My mom invited you over.”
“I’m fine.’”
“Let’s go over to my house on the last Saturday of this month. I felt bad seeing you go home alone too, so this is good, isn’t it?”
“No, I already said I’m fine…”
“My family likes you. Noona said that you seemed really chic in an indifferent sort of way, or something along those lines.”
Jung Haekyung started again. Typically, in situations like this, I tend to go along with his opinion for the most part. However, I had strong, unpleasant memories associated with Haekyung’s home, so I really didn’t want to go. I braced myself and firmly said, “No. I’m not going.”
“Why?”
What should I say to convince him? No, whatever I say, Haekyung wouldn’t be convinced. I just decided to say what I had to say.
“It’s uncomfortable. You even witnessed how I got indigestion back then.”
“Then, should we invite your father too?”
I was taken aback by Haekyung’s completely unexpected words, and he smiled like he did the day we first met.
“You said that you feel comfortable when it’s just my family. It’ll be nice to have a bride and bridegroom family meeting together, won’t it?”
Haekyung took out his phone, as if he were really going to contact him. He had already exchanged phone numbers with my father during the last visit. If Haekyung made the call, it was obvious my father would attend the dinner, no matter what he had going on. I hastily grabbed Haekyung’s hand.
“My father is overseas right now, though.”
“I know.”
Haekyung smiled again. Although it seemed a little too strange to just chalk it up to him worrying about a lonely friend, something about it had seemed weird to me for quite a while now, so it was difficult to find the words I had to say.
“He’s busy, so… don’t call him.”
“But I called him yesterday? He said he had just finished something urgent. You should call him first sometimes too, you unfilial son.”
“Yesterday?”
“Yeah. I called my father, so while I was at it, I called my father-in-law as well.”
My mind was filled with words before they vanished like a blank piece of paper. Now that it had come to this, I decided to take a frontal stance when speaking again. I felt sorry for Haekyung, and even though he probably wouldn’t listen, I had to express my opinion. I couldn’t just let him contact my father either.
“Thanks for thinking of me, but I don’t want to go to your house. Don’t contact my father either.”
I chose my words carefully, afraid that Haekyung would ask me why again. However, he responded strangely.
“I want to have dinner with you at my house.”
I was the one who asked why this time. Haekyung answered, “Because you don’t want to, so there’s no helping it.”
“…What do you mean?”
“It’s just as I said. Because you don’t want to, I’m going to have dinner with you. At my house.”
“Why?”
“I wonder if our Euijin is naive, pure, or just dumb.”
“Please, just say something that makes sense!”
“No matter how much I think about it, you’re a little dumb, just as Baek Cheongah had said. You don’t even know about my feelings.”
“Hey!”
“In order to return from a place you don’t want to go to, you’d have to give me a kiss, won’t you?”
“……”
“In order to return from a place…”
“…Stop it.”
“I don’t want to do anything you dislike either. So, you should try and be good all the time.”
Was Haekyung starting another one of his jokes again? I didn’t have the energy to play along with this joke. At times like this, Haekyung would just start to utter strange things, and I, being as dumb as Haekyung had said, couldn’t understand them. I said in a voice that was nearly inaudible, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Why would we… do something like that?”
“We did it last time.”
“That was… You were just joking around.”
“Our Euijin seems to have become quite open-minded after living abroad. Two guys kissing is just a joke?”
“……”
“Our Euijin seems…”
“It is a joke! Didn’t you say it was just a greeting?”
When I couldn’t hold it in anymore and shouted, Haekyung laughed. Then, give me a greeting. He had said this while tapping his lips.
“Haekyung-ah… why are you suddenly acting like this again?”
“Suddenly? I’ve wanted to kiss you since the moment I first saw you.”
“…What?”
“Why are you acting as though you don’t feel that way as well? You fell for me at first sight too.”
“…No…”
“No? You saved me.”
“…That was… It wasn’t much help anyway…”
“You risked your life, completely unaware of your own ability, to protect me. That was the moment I fell for you.”
“…I, I didn’t.”
“You said I was cool too. That you liked me.”
It was true that I liked Haekyung. It was also true that I thought he was cool. But I didn’t like Haekyung in the way he thought I did. There were so many things I had to say that I didn’t even know what to start with, but I couldn’t just not answer him. I didn’t want to hear him repeat the same words again.
“I’m sorry…”
Even if it was by force, since I ended up opening my mouth, my words burst out as if the dam had been torn. I continued to speak in mumbles.
“I’m sorry if the way I kept glancing at you made you feel upset. For me, it was just like admiring a piece of art… No, I’m sorry. That could upset you. I won’t do it anymore. I’m serious…”
“It doesn’t upset me.”
“…Then why are you being like this?”
“No, now that I think of it, your saying sorry does upset me. What’s there to be sorry about?”
“Because I… acted like I liked you. Isn’t that what’s upsetting you? The reason you’re acting like this. But I don’t like you in the way that I want to kiss you…”
“I already told you it didn’t upset me, didn’t I?”
“…Anyhow, I’m sorry for making you misunderstand. So, please, don’t be like this.”
“Misunderstand?”
Since the end of his sentence went up in tone, was this a question as well? If it was a question, I had to answer it. My lips felt dry. I nodded my head and apologised again. After a moment had passed, Haekyung opened his mouth.
“Then, do you not like me?”
This wasn’t a problem that could be divided in such a black-and-white way, like “I like you” or “I don’t.” No, honestly, I liked Haekyung. However, it wasn’t the “like” that he was thinking of. I steeled myself, thinking that the most urgent thing right now was resolving this misunderstanding, and said, “Yeah. I don’t like you.”
“I like you, though.”
I blankly stared in response to the sullen voice I had never heard before. He’d been saying strange things like “Kiss me” or “I fell for you” since earlier, and now he was saying that he liked me? Jung Haekyung? Not just as a friend? I asked again just to be sure, “You like me… in a romantic kind of way?”
“Yeah. I want to go out with you.”
Was the conversation we were having up until this point perhaps Jung Haekyung’s confession? Upon hearing his words and the overly natural way he answered them, memories of his past actions flitted through my mind. When I thought about it, I could somewhat understand his behaviour. If he thought of that as some kind of fling… Crazy, a fling. A chill spread throughout my body.
I was left speechless. The limitless amount of time I was suddenly bestowed this time around honestly made me feel even more nervous. My heart felt anxious about having to reject Haekyung. Still, I couldn’t accept his confession. It wasn’t because he was a man. Although that was actually a very important issue, there was something of even bigger importance, so it slipped my mind. Jung Haekyung was weird. Something about him was very, no, too weird. Even if his behaviour was said to be driven by his feelings for me, I couldn’t accept them based on my personal standards.
Honestly, there had been some parts that made it difficult for us to remain even as friends. But to be lovers in the midst of all that? Even if I tried to honestly think about it, it made my spine run cold. Even though I liked Haekyung, even though he helped me a lot when I was having a hard time, and even though I had no intention of ending my friendship with him or stopping seeing him despite the fact he was a little weird… That was all because we were friends. They were problems that I could overlook because we were friends.
I chose to hurt Haekyung rather than give him false hope. If this was Haekyung’s confession, albeit rather twisted and foul, it was only right to reject it. I was a little scared of rejecting him, but my feelings of apology took precedence. Maybe he won’t even want to see me anymore. Still, I couldn’t accept such a strange confession. Honestly, I didn’t even want to take it slow and think it over again.
“I’ve never thought of you as anything more than a friend.”
“……”
“I’m sorry.”
I dropped my head down. I didn’t have the guts to face Haekyung. How could I dare to reject Jung Haekyung? But could this even be called a rejection? Could that even be called a confession? Either way, I didn’t regret anything. Rather, I felt a bit relieved knowing that the questions I had harboured up until now were resolved, even if it was just a little bit. Come to think of it, I was the one who made him misunderstand. It was true that I’d been mesmerised by his face since the very start. I was definitely sorry for that.
“I understand,” Haekyung meekly said. I felt like it’d be rude to constantly apologise, so I just nodded my head. It didn’t seem like I should get up first, so I waited until Haekyung stood up. However, a while later, I heard some strange words coming from above my head again.
“Yes, Father. This is Haekyung. Of course. Nothing much. Euijin has also been doing well. Oh, just because… When will you be arriving in Korea?”
I raised my head. I locked eyes with Jung Haekyung. Haekyung continued the call while staring at me.
“My father said that he would like to have a meal with you. Yes, although it may not seem like it, Euijin wants to see you too… It’s this Saturday. Is it too sudden? Really? Then, please call me again tomorrow.”
Haekyung hung up the call. I continued to stare at him.
“The schedule’s already been confirmed, so you’ll come, won’t you? You should have a meal with the lieutenant general.”
“…What are you doing? You literally just said you understood.”
“Yeah, that’s why I called. Because you don’t like me, but I like you.”
“…What?”
“A peck or a kiss or whatever, it’s fine if I do it first, but… Someone going ahead and kissing someone who doesn’t like them back isn’t a relationship, is it? It’s a crime.”
“……”
“The opposite is the start of a romantic relationship. I want our relationship to start in a romantic way, Euijin-ah.”
“……”
“I’ve heard that communication is important between lovers. In the future, you should always answer me.”
Haekyung grabbed my hand and laughed. Seeing him smile as warmly as he did before, the rumours about Jung Haekyung that I had tried so hard to ignore resurfaced.
He was beautiful, strong, and… cruel.
orcinus comments:
thank you to my editor for helping with this chapter~
I felt like I was going to finish the semester before I finished chapter 2 but it’s finally over!! and the other chapters are (mostly) normal length!!! but tbh I’ve always considered chapter 2 to still be somewhat like a prologue. I mean, after this chapter, we officially start part 2 of the novel 
what shocked me most about the confession scene was the fact that euijin was straight and just a facecon beyond the construct of gender LMAO
I wonder why the MC doesn’t stand up for himself more. It was brave of him to reject the ML this time but it also feels like what the ML said about him being dumb is true lol.
Euijin has a strange mind to say the least but ig it’s also bc he can’t do much unless he wants to get thrown into the lab again lol
Oh yeah I guess he was broken down after those experiments at the beginning. It is interesting if the MC will grow above that and stand up for himself but idk it doesn’t seem likely? Guess we will find out later.
Thanks for the translation!
That’s actually pretty crazy. I don’t even know what could be going around such a person’s head and how they function. Thankfully such a thing is back in the past and you didn’t get physically hurt… hopefully even grew stronger
I tell you, it lasted until i went to college tho. She got my number and will occasionally calls me but after says hi she just stay silent. And breathing. I have to changed my number countless of time. You know how expensive phone numbers back then..haha.
So far this story is not that bad. Like other psychological horror stories that ive read.
I don’t usually read such psychological horror which brings pain to your heart just by reading it but it is actually pretty good. Definitely not good to imagine yourself in it lol but to instead to just feel the pain for the MC.
Yes, you’re right. And mind you, these types of people exist in this world. Reading all these materials helps you identify them. Sometimes, the event is already over like my previous experience with a stalker girl but finally reading about this genre making it more clear on what actually had happened you know ? Like there’s actually a term and people out there actually do face these kinds of shitty situation. We’re not alone.
FU-
so breathless