content warning
nsfw, gross, and very… uncomfortable
My body tickled. Something warm, wet, and moist slid from the nape of my neck up to my ear. From my ear, it traced back down my neck, slid along my collarbone, and halted at my nipple. My eyes opened upon sensing the faint mixture of pain and tingling that spread throughout my body as the area was nibbled on. Jung Haekyung was beside me, licking my body like a son of a bitch. No, I was the son of a bitch here. But it felt odd that my face was wet. My vision looked muddy. I attempted to touch my face and found a sticky, white liquid on my hand. Jung Haekyung chuckled as he answered my question, “It’s because you’re so pretty.”
It seemed like the madman had jerked off on my face. I didn’t even want to say anything back. As soon as I woke up, my head started aching as if it were on the verge of splitting. My bottom tingled, and my waist ached. We had clearly begun in the living room, yet I couldn’t recall when we had moved to the bedroom. No, I didn’t want to remember. I had to remember, though. What Jung Haekyung had done to me. I wanted to wash up, even though I shouldn’t have stopped thinking about it. The sheets were wet, and my entire body was covered in Jung Haekyung’s and my semen. I wanted to get up, but Jung Haekyung was licking the dog collar with satisfaction and pressing down on my body. It didn’t seem like it would be easy to persuade him to take it off. I hesitated, then opened my mouth to say, “Please undo this.”
Jung Haekyung squinted and looked down at me. He looked at the collar as if he were evaluating it before saying, “Say, ‘Haekyung-ah, I love you.’”
“Haekyung-ah, I love you.”
Was I trembling with rage simply because of the word “love”? It was insane. The more I hesitated and detested it, the more Jung Haekyung would love it. It was just four meaningless words. I wanted to prevent myself from being further swayed by him, even if it was only by a little bit. However, Jung Haekyung got out of bed.
“I have to report my return. Take care of the house.”
“…I said I love you.”
“I can’t feel your sincerity.”
Upon hearing those words, my earlier resolution was comically engulfed in a blaze of outrage.
“A fucking psychopath like you talking about sincerity? You son of a bitch! What about you? Are you sincere?”
Jung Haekyung quietly stared at me. I flinched and grabbed my neck. However, Jung Haekyung didn’t press the remote control. Still, he spoke in his usual deliberate tone, “I’m talking about you, not me. I’ve always been sincere towards you. You’re the one who has shown no sincerity towards me.”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
I must have subconsciously clenched my fists, trembling. Jung Haekyung released the anti-barking device. The item that wouldn’t come undone, no matter how hard I tried, tore like paper once Jung Haekyung applied a little force. What was a challenge for me proved effortless for him. I hated that disparity.
“P aglfv ab gfwbnf la. Pa rjlv cba ab kfjg la obg jcs ibcufg atjc fluta tbegr.”
Eluta, tf qjlv mibrf jaafcalbc ab atf kbgvr bo atf lcafgcfa rfiifg yea ilrafcfv ab wlcf klat atf yjmx bo tlr obba. Qtfc P aglfv ab ufa eq, tf rabqqfv wf jujlc. Ktfc, tf kfca “aj-vj” jcv tfiv rbwfatlcu bea. Ktja “aj-vj” cfjgis qertfv wf ab atf yglcx bo cfegbrlr. Pa kjr j vbu mbiijg vfrlucfv obg qijs, rlwlijg ab atf bcf P tjv kbgc yfobgf. Ktf mbiijg larfio rffwfv cbgwji, yea atf mtjlc jaajmtfv ab la ibbxfv kjs abb raegvs. P mbeivc’a fnfc rff atf fcv bo atf mtjlc. Vfflcu wf abrr jcv aegc klat jczlfas, Aecu Ljfxsecu xlcvis lcobgwfv wf, “P jaajmtfv la ab atja kjii.”
“…Why?”
“It goes through the bedhead and straight to the wall. You’ll suffocate if you move, so just lay down.”
As soon as he finished speaking, Jung Haekyung fastened the collar around my neck once again. Then, he left, stating he was going to take a shower. I attempted to stand up as well, but was forced to lie straight back down. Just as he had warned, the chain constricted around me when I tried to lift my body. After a while, Jung Haekyung returned. A familiar citrus scent emanated from him, his hair neatly pushed back. He was even dressed in a crisp uniform, presumably because he had to report his return. In contrast, I was lying down, covered in semen, while he was dressed to the nines, but he still managed to plant a kiss on my cheek.
“I’ll be back.”
I grabbed him. He’ll be back? From where? S.E.? To report his return? Alone? Leaving me in this state? I had a plethora of things to say, but they were all meaningless if he wasn’t willing to listen. If what he wanted was sincerity, then I could provide just that.
“Haekyung-ah, I love you,” I uttered as anxiously as I could. I couldn’t just stay like this, not knowing what would happen next. My desperation was real, but it didn’t seem to be enough to satisfy him. I was genuinely anxious.
“Haekyung-ah, I love you. I love you… I love you… Please… Okay?”
Only then did Jung Haekyung pat my hair, which was stiff with semen. This time, he planted a gentle kiss on my lips.
“I love you, too.”
And with those final words, he walked out the door. I tried to jump up, but the recoil tightened around my neck again, forcing me to cough. However, I couldn’t just let him leave like this.
“Hey! Where are you going? Damn it! I said I love you!” I screamed, my vocal cords strained, but he left the room without even closing the door. I was left alone in my room. I did my best to try and get the collar off, but it was futile. The more I moved, the more it squeezed my neck. I stopped struggling and attempted to organise my thoughts. He wouldn’t be going to Dandong Industrial Centre again, would he? He said he was going to report his return, so was he heading to S.E.? Then, when would he be coming back?
I couldn’t be certain about when Jung Haekyung would be returning, but I knew that he wouldn’t let me starve to death. However, the crucial matter at hand weren’t the events of the future. I needed to relieve myself of my physiological needs. My need to urinate only grew stronger when I thought of the fact that I couldn’t go to the bathroom, even though it was within reach. I did my best to hold it in. Since my hands weren’t enough, I even used my feet to press down on my privates. I didn’t want to end up pissing here as well. I didn’t want to act the way Jung Haekyung wanted me to. I squeezed my eyes shut and squirmed, attempting to hold it in, but my patience, waiting without promise, had reached its limit.
Around the time the sunlight streaming through the window had turned red, the moment my mind turned blank with thoughts of what was happening right now, what I was doing right now, a drop of urine dripped from my tip. Starting with a drip, it wouldn’t stop once it started going. Maybe it was because I had been holding back too much, but my urine flowed out without pause and even brought about a sense of pleasure. I only regained a bit of my senses after the sheets, as well as the mattress, were completely soaked. The smell of urine and the fishy scent of semen mixed together, filling the room.
My body shuddered with a surge of shame and self-loathing. Jung Haekyung would probably be ecstatic to see me like this when he comes back. Because he was a perverted bastard. I didn’t want to be seen like this, but I also thought that it’d be for the best if he returned quickly and resolved the situation somehow. Wouldn’t he undo this collar once he had seen what he wanted to see?
I composed myself. Why should I be the one to feel shame and humiliation? These emotions were what Jung Haekyung had intended. He deliberately orchestrated this situation to manipulate me as he pleased. A bastard that perverted and wretched should be the one to feel shame and humiliation. I promised myself I wouldn’t be swayed by him. However, the undeniable reality was that I was laying on top of a puddle of my own semen and piss, and if I let my guard down even just a little bit, I’d want to bite my tongue and die of shame.
But I couldn’t end my life by suicide just because I foolishly danced to Jung Haekyung’s tune, got raped as a punishment, and had to piss while being tied with a collar. Though I had been incapable of acting according to my own will since turning twenty, I didn’t want my life to conclude in such a manner. Even if it was a little late, I wanted to have some respect for myself. I bit my lip instead of my tongue. I needed to get out of here.
But even as the sunset waned and night fell upon me, Jung Haekyung didn’t return. Meanwhile, my throat felt parched and my stomach empty. It was already challenging enough to lie in a filthy place, unable to move my body properly. Son of a bitch. Fucking bastard. Lunatic. Perverted fucker. Deranged bitch… I cussed nonstop, using all kinds of swears, but time felt as slow as fucking ever.
When the sun had risen and set twice, Jung Haekyung returned, bringing with him the breeze from outside, distinct from the damp and foul-smelling air inside the room. I now had neither the strength to squirm nor the energy to swear. I had gritted my teeth so much throughout the entire ordeal, but when I actually saw him again, I felt ridiculously relieved. I found myself neither deceitful nor shameful for acting in such a way. It was only natural that I’d be glad the person who could alleviate my suffocation, thirst, and hunger had finally shown up. Such a welcomed person, putting his all into creating this shitty situation—the one I would have to beg at the feet of in order for him to offer me his pathetic grace. You must’ve wanted to make me wait. You like that sort of thing. Me desperately waiting for you. Thinking only of you. You say that’s love. But your love is wrong. That’s not love. You’re the one who’s wrong. I won’t blame myself.
“Euijin-ah, I’m back.”
I kept trying to pull myself together, not stopping once, but the sound of Jung Haekyung’s voice brought tears to my eyes once more. No matter how hard I tried not to regard my current appearance as pathetic, things just wouldn’t go my way. I turned my head towards the wall, not wanting to reveal the emotions etched across my face. I heard the sound of Jung Haekyung’s voice.
“Were you bored?”
When I didn’t reply, Jung Haekyung sat on the bed. He showed no hesitation in sitting on the dirty bed, which had been soaked and soaked again. Then, he rubbed my penis.
“Sorry, there were a lot of things I had to take care of.”
“……”
“Why aren’t you looking at me?”
“……”
“Are you scared I’ll scold you? For pissing everywhere?”
“……”
“It’s okay. It was bound to happen.”
“…Haekyung-ah. “
I looked at Jung Haekyung. Then, risking a choke, I raised myself up and kissed him. In a state like this, I probably would’ve pushed him away because of the filthiness if our roles were reversed. However, Jung Haekyung just donned a radiant smile. I looked at that face, which still looked fucking pretty, and confessed my love.
“I love you.”
“Me too. I love you.”
“Haekyung-ah, I love you.”
“I love you too, Euijin-ah.”
I kept repeating, “I love you.” I didn’t know how hard I tried to not sound like a parrot, to sound sincere. Was it around the 20th time? 30th? No, it might’ve even been the 300th time. When Jung Haekyung finally asked, “Do you want to wash up together?” instead of saying, “I love you too,” I prepared myself to not be able to breathe again and hugged him. In that instant, I felt like I truly loved him.
orcinus comments:
How long has it been since I first read this novel? More than half a year ago? Anyway, this chapter still makes me as uncomfortable as ever…
I like how the author portrayed the way Euijin called Haekyung’s name. In part 1, he just called him “Haekyung.” In part 2, however, he calls him “Jung Haekyung.”
Oops, almost forgot, happy seollal everyone <3
Oh my god… my stomach felt nauseous the whole time reading this chapter it really is uncomfortable 😖😖
aha every time i read this chapter it never gets better… random but i was wondering if you had any korean novels you would recommend? untranslated is fine i can read korean
I’m almost done reading 탁란의 섬, and it has been a very fun read!! It seems like PWP at first, and the content is traumatising ngl but I really enjoy the excitement of solving the mystery. Any novel by 슬로우댄스 is good simply bc their writing is gorgeous haha. 밀블 series is, of course, a staple in the bl world. I also just started 개조심, and I’m enjoying it so far
Haaah, I really hate & love this. MC is too prideful