Even in the dim headlights, I could discern that the car that had bumped into us from behind had one side of its bumper completely dented. It seemed like the car’s airbag had activated, as I couldn’t see the driver’s side. What if someone was seriously injured? Should I call 119? Wait, was it okay for me to call 119?
Someone could’ve died, yet that was the only thought that crossed my mind. Lee Junggeon walked over to the mangled car. Then, he made an attempt to open the driver’s side door. Since the door of the damaged car refused to open, he almost had to tear it open. However, the sight struck me as oddly courteous, and I swallowed hard.
The first thing to emerge from the door, which had nearly been torn open, was a leg. As I caught a glimpse of white sneakers and slightly faded jeans, I unconsciously took a step back. The person standing on the road, flicking off dust from his white shirt, had light brown hair and eyes. It was a face I knew all too well.
It was Jung Haekyung. Jung Haekyung looked at me. When our eyes met, I nearly collapsed on the spot. Lee Junggeon saluted him. Since Jung Haekyung held a higher rank than him, a salute was appropriate. However, this wasn’t the right occasion for a salute.
“You’ve arrived?”
Jung Haekyung nodded slightly in response to Lee Junggeon’s words. All I could do was blink as I watched the scene unfold. Neither Lee Junggeon nor Jung Haekyung seemed surprised by each other’s presence. I was the only one who didn’t understand the situation.
Jung Haekyung slowly approached me. Startled, I took a step back before stopping myself. I didn’t know what would happen if I backed away from him. I closed my eyes for a moment before opening them again, looking over to Lee Junggeon. Normally, I would never glance at somebody while Jung Haekyung was right beside me, but this time, I had no choice.
Lee Junggeon seemed to be mouthing something to me, but I didn’t understand what. The headlights blinded me once more, and I had to squint my eyes. Then, a familiar voice reached my ears.
“Euijin-ah.”
Instinctively, I turned my gaze in the direction where the voice came from—the person I had to look at, the person I had to think of, regardless of whether he was by my side or not. He spoke again, “What are you doing here?”
I searched for an answer to Jung Haekyung’s question, but I couldn’t find the appropriate words to use. Jung Haekyung took a step closer and repeated his question, “Euijin-ah, what are you doing here?”
I had to answer him. I shouldn’t be backing away; I shouldn’t be aggravating him more than I already was. That was what reason was telling me, but my instincts said otherwise. I parted my lips to try and say something, anything, but all they did was tremble. Unable to find the right words, nervousness started to creep in, and I subconsciously bit my lip.
“Tsk,” Jung Haekyung clicked his tongue. I took a deep breath and relaxed my jaw. My lips were trembling again, out of my control, but Jung Haekyung didn’t like it when I bit my lip. My mind was filled with the actions he prohibited me from taking. Suddenly, I felt like crying. I had done the one thing he wanted me to do least.
With each step he took, I stumbled two paces backward, eventually pivoting to sprint in the opposite direction. Although I was quite the speedy runner, I was well aware of how foolish of an action this was. However, there was no way I could face him.
I raced down the highway in the dead of night. I was running on my two feet at that. I didn’t feel any signs of presence behind me. Still, I found myself repeatedly glancing back. Even as the parked car gradually receded from my view, I knew that such a run wouldn’t be enough to escape from Jung Haekyung. But I wanted to buy some time, even if it was only just a little bit, even if it amounted to no more than a second. My heart had shrivelled, leaving me unable to confront him in any capacity.
I wouldn’t be able to run any quicker than this, even if there was lava flowing behind me. Still, I found myself incapable of functioning properly, attempting to move rapidly while carrying my shrivelled, shrivelled little heart. The pounding of my heart sounded both loud and violent, as though it were attached to my ear. My breath climbed to the cusp of my throat, making it impossible to close my mouth. No matter how hard I tried to inhale through both my nose and mouth, it wasn’t enough. The only sounds that filled the night streets were the pounding of my heartbeat and the exchange of oxygen as I breathed in and out.
Just how far did I run for my lungs to feel as though they had torn apart and for my organs to seem all jumbled up? The muscles in my legs, propelled by instinct, seemed on the brink of bursting. A few cars sped past me. Sometimes, they’d loudly honk, while others would roll down their windows to hurl curses at me. However, I had no other option but to run. I couldn’t stop.
Unfortunately, my pace was gradually dwindling. I thought that I was running, but my speed was slower than a walk. Still, I continued to push forward. The centre of my body began to slowly shift downward. My legs became entangled, causing me to tumble over. My insides churned, and I nearly retched a few times. Even as I vomited out clear gastric fluid, I didn’t stop moving. I moved like I was crawling. I continued to glance behind me, but I felt no presence of people. However, that didn’t make me feel the slightest bit relieved. I dragged my legs, continuing to run. I don’t know if “run” is the correct expression to use, but regardless of appearances, I was doing my best to run.
Around the time my dark surroundings began to take on a blue tint, as though heralding dawn, I finally sat down on the shoulder of the road and roughly panted. The throb of my pulse sent strong vibrations throughout every area it touched. My entire body was desperately craving oxygen, yet my intake of it fell significantly short. Sweat trickled down my forehead, coalescing on my lower jaw, before dripping onto the black asphalt road below me. I was taking my time regulating my breathing when I saw white sneakers stand before me. Without lifting my head, I asked, “…Why are you here?”
My voice quivered miserably, my breath short. However, the voice that came from above me remained incessantly serene.
“I asked you first.”
“I…”
I still struggled to find the words to respond. I had no other choice but to rub my face for a moment before posing the question again, “Was it your order?”
“I don’t know?”
“Why?”
“I was curious.”
“……”
“It’s okay. I still like you, even if you’re dumb.”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
“……”
“Dea la’r vjcufgber lo sbe pera fja jcsatlcu sbe qlmx eq ilxf atlr, sbe xcbk.”
“……”
“Ofa’r ub.”
Aecu Ljfxsecu fzafcvfv j tjcv. Dea P vlvc’a kjca ab ugjy la jcv rajcv eq. Lbkfnfg, P kjr jirb rmjgfv bo atf oeaegf agbeyifr atja kbeiv jgglnf lo P vlvc’a ajxf atja tjcv. Ktfc jujlc, P’v jirb vbcf fcbeut atlcur atja vlrqifjrfv tlw jigfjvs. Qtja vloofgfcmf kbeiv bcf bg akb wbgf wjxf? P aglfv ab rajcv eq klatbea ajxlcu tlr tjcv, yea tjnlcu jigfjvs ibra atf ragfcuat lc ws ifur, P raewyifv. Aecu Ljfxsecu tfiv ws rtbeivfg.
“Why are you crying?”
He kissed the corner of my eye. Though what streamed down my face was sweat, he continued to lick the area around my eye. I wanted to push him away, but I couldn’t do that.
“…I’m not crying.”
My voice sounded hoarse, as I was still short of breath. Ahem, I cleared my throat. Jung Haekyung answered with a “yeah.” He then proceeded to grab my hand, intertwining our fingers. We walked back to the road we had taken.
I wasn’t sure of how far I had run, but the walk back felt significantly shorter. I spotted Lee Junggeon’s parked roadster. Lee Junggeon emerged from the car, as if he had just noticed Jung Haekyung and me. Jung Haekyung’s grip on our entwined hands tightened as Lee Junggeon approached, seemingly about to greet us. Simultaneously, I heard the mushy sound of something being squashed. A brief but loud death throe, one I couldn’t figure out the form of, reached my ears before instantly disappearing. My hand inadvertently tensed. In response, Jung Haekyung firmly interlocked our fingers.
I halted for a moment, but Jung Haekyung continued to walk. Because of that, I was almost dragged to the car. In the spot where Lee Junggeon had just stood lay an unidentifiable heap of flesh, shattered bone fragments, and blood splatters that were difficult to stomach. Through deduction, I could tell that it was the person who had been smiling and greeting Jung Haekyung just moments prior—a living being with blood and flesh, but it was impossible to infer that now from simply looking at his form. The figure that was scattered around us had once emanated a refreshing scent of wind. Now, it exuded a different smell. The early morning breeze carried with it a fishy and suffocating odour. The thing that laid shrivelled and stuck to the ground was only the body. Apart from the fact that they were stained with blood, the shirt, pants, shoes, and watch, which had fallen after having lost their owner, remained perfectly intact.
Not only did it remain unharmed, but the dull green roadster displayed not a single drop of blood on it. The road, which was in very close proximity to the car, was splattered with bloodstains, but the car was as shiny as new. It had to be Jung Haekyung’s; I had a hunch. Jung Haekyung always kept his things clean.
“…What are you doing?”
Finally, I stopped and asked him. It did cross my mind that Lee Junggeon might die. Still, I tried to suppress my guilt, considering it was something Lee Junggeon himself had suggested. But I couldn’t do that anymore. Lee Junggeon was just following Jung Haekyung’s orders. He was just faithfully executing his orders and bringing him the results, which should’ve earned him a reward, so it made me genuinely curious as to why Jung Haekyung would do this. Jung Haekyung opened the passenger side door and said, “This is a two-seater, you know.”
It wasn’t an appropriate answer. When I remained still, Jung Haekyung chuckled.
“Did you want to ride in the trunk?”
“……”
“Well, that’s certainly a preference. The roadster might be a little uncomfortable, though. Should we buy an SUV?”
Jung Haekyung pulled out his phone, leaning against the car. It was clear that he was typing “car with a wide trunk” or something like that into the search bar.
“But then again, you might not like the feeling of being trapped in the trunk of an SUV. Is that okay with you?”
“Are you crazy? Why do you have to kill people for the messes you caused?”
I snatched his phone. Jung Haekyung, who obediently allowed for his phone to be taken away, tilted his head.
“Why are you angry?”
“Angry? This is angry to you?”
Regardless of what I said, Jung Haekyung crossed his arms, scrutinising me for a moment before saying, “If you cry and get angry like that,”
He then pointed to what used to be Lee Junggeon.
“I might misunderstand.”
Jung Haekyung’s finger turned back to me.
“Would that be alright with you?”
The sun was slowly beginning to rise, illuminating our blue surroundings little by little. The morning sun cast a lengthy shadow across the black road. Jung Haekyung pressed for my response through his silence, and after a moment, I replied with a “no.” Only then did he begin tapping on the car door and gently said, “Get in.”
“……”
“It’s a bit cramped, though. Would you like to ride in the trunk after all?”
When Jung Haekyung touched the car keys, I climbed into the car. What had exploded was Lee Junggeon’s head, but it felt as though mine was going to burst as well. Various thoughts, such as when and how much he interfered, why he did it, and what would happen to me from now on, filled the inside of my head.
A chill coursed through my body due to the cold temperature of the autumn morning. Jung Haekyung, who had been glancing sideways at me, turned on the seat heater. Soon, my body slowly began to warm up, from my hips to my waist. It wasn’t cold enough for my teeth to clatter against each other, but for some strange reason, my body continued to shake.
The car drove for a long time. Jung Haekyung didn’t say a word until we arrived home. The silence engulfed us, as I didn’t open my mouth either. Even though I was uncomfortable with the silence that had befallen us and couldn’t stand it, I’d rather we continued in this state. Nevertheless, familiar roads and buildings unfolded before my eyes, undamaged and unburnt.
I returned to the starting point. No, in a state far worse than where I began. Jung Haekyung opened the front door of our home. Since all he did was open it without any other motion, I entered first. Jung Haekyung followed me in. The door clicked shut, accompanied by an explosive sound. I wasn’t curious as to what it was. He must’ve broken the lock. It was something he did every time he was in a foul mood. Trying my best to maintain composure, I refrained from looking back. Jung Haekyung plopped down on the chair in the living room, as if this were his own house, and asked, “What are you doing?”
I took off my clothes as soon as I heard him say that. It was something I had to do when arriving home. Crossing my arms, I pulled my grey hooded t-shirt over my neck. I then dusted it off before roughly folding it and placing it on the ground. The white t-shirt underneath followed suit, lending a chill to the atmosphere of the house, which had remained vacant for a long time. Still, I undid my belt and pulled my zipper down, taking off my jeans as well. I folded it twice and placed it on top of the t-shirt. I then took off my underwear with the least hesitation possible. I wasn’t wearing anything fancy, so the undressing finished quickly. Jung Haekyung unabashedly stared as I stood naked before him and inquired, “Don’t your legs hurt?”
I approached him and sat down on the floor. The living room was now furnished with a table, a TV, and even a couch. Nothing was missing, be it an air conditioner, air purifier, dehumidifier, humidifier, and more. Jung Haekyung had filled the house. He insisted that, given I had a house, we needed to meticulously complete our marriage expenses and had a jolly old time shopping for home appliances and furniture.
Despite his nonsensical talk about moving to a larger house when we have children and having four of them, regardless of whether they were a boy or a girl, our relationship wasn’t all that sweet. If Jung Haekyung sat on a chair, then I’d sit at his feet. If he petted my head, I would sit still. If he pulled my hair, I’d suck his dick. A tap on my cheek, and I would stop and lie down.
Wasn’t it said that lovers would look at each other while friends would be looking at the same place? We were neither lovers nor friends. Jung Haekyung looked down from above, and I looked up from below. He’d pretend to act kind towards me while simultaneously making me aware of the fact that I was beneath him. Jung Haekyung stroked my head a few more times before lifting the box that was placed next to him. He then opened the lid and took something out.
“Ta-da.”
What Jung Haekyung had pulled out was a dog collar. It was different from the ones I had put on before. The previous dog collars I had worn were soft, modified for play, with fabric cushioning the inside of them. However, this one was black, with a large piece of plastic in the front. I didn’t even get the chance to get a proper look at it when Jung Haekyung hugged me from behind and placed it on my neck. I felt a blunt, cold, and metallic sensation around the front of my neck. Before I could even wonder what it was, Jung Haekyung’s hand descended down my back. It wandered around my spine before digging its fingers into my back. My entire body had gone cold, but Jung Haekyung’s warmth felt hot enough to make me feel goosebumps. When I flinched and jerked my body, Jung Haekyung whispered in my ear, “Don’t you like it?”
Getting no response from me, Jung Haekyung asked once more, Don’t you want to do it? Like he always did, as if he were willing to listen to me if I said I didn’t. He was just going to do whatever he liked anyway, so the fact that he was forcing approval felt like another stab to the heart. To start like this, to receive my consent in such a way was eating away at my will. It made me feel so damn miserable. Just because I don’t resist doesn’t mean it’s not rape. Just because I said I like it, I want to do it, didn’t mean that it was of my own volition. I’d rather he forces me, that he suppresses my resistance with violence, and that he rapes me while solely satisfying his own desires. Don’t whisper in such a kind way. Don’t pretend to listen to my opinion. Don’t pretend to cherish me.
“I don’t like this. Stop it.”
When I couldn’t bear the anger and spoke in a subdued voice, my entire body began to throb. It started from my neck, and it was so intense that even my head began to ring. The sudden stimulus made my body tremble. I reflexively began to cough, “Co, cough, cough… ugh.”
Telling Jung Haekyung “no” was something that would make the hairs on the back of my neck rise, but this wasn’t a psychological stimulus. Having suffered at the hands of countless experiments, I knew what this was. Electric shock. I fumbled around my neck. The dog collar. I barely managed to suppress my coughs and asked, “…What is this?”
“An anti-barking device.”
“…What?”
“I’m usually fine with it since it’s cute, but I was worried I wouldn’t be able to control myself today.”
“Have you lost your mind?”
I felt another shock pass through my nape again. I couldn’t get used to this kind of thing, no matter how many times I experienced it. Flinching from the shock, I heard Jung Haekyung’s voice coming from above me.
“If it breaks, who will have to be the one to bear the loss?”
Jung Haekyung showed me a small remote control. Numbers were displayed in a round circle, and a needle was fixed at the far right.
“It’s manually operated, so it’s not like you won’t be able to talk at all.”
“…You crazy bastard…”
I was forced to grab my neck and struggle again. Jung Haekyung looked at the remote controller as he mumbled, “It works pretty well.” I tried to take the collar off, but it seemed like he had done something to it, as I couldn’t find the connecting area at all. This bastard was definitely capable and willing to melt the connecting area. Jung Haekyung, who’d been sitting still and watching me struggle as I grabbed the collar, got on top of me. Then, he said, “I love you, Euijin-ah. Let’s have sex.”
Love? Love? You love me? You think what we’re doing right now is sex? Electric shock or whatever, I couldn’t control the anger that was burning up inside me. I exerted all my strength and pushed him away. Jung Haekyung allowed himself to be obediently pushed back. That just angered me even more.
“You motherfucker… Love? Did you just say love?”
Jung Haekyung pressed the remote controller again, so I had to grasp my neck and spit out a strained cough. However, Jung Haekyung didn’t have the right to use the word “love.”
“…You think this is, cough, love, you fucking bitch?”
Every time I swore, a bone-chilling sensation spread through my neck. I breathed in for my lack of breath and forced my throat, which had quickly become hoarse, to somehow manage to continue, “Is this, what you do to, someone you love?”
Maybe it was because I had coughed too much, but tears were streaming down. In the same way my coughing wouldn’t stop, my tears wouldn’t either. To prod at a person who was just sitting still, to deceive me as he pleased, and to corner me like it’s my fault. I was sitting naked and wearing a dog collar, waiting at his feet to be fucked by him, and now he was even telling me not to bark. And he calls that love. There was a limit to how much you could play someone.
“Why isn’t this love?” Jung Haekyung asked. With a genuinely curious expression, too. I stared at him, dumbfounded, tears dripping down my face. Jung Haekyung said, “I want to stay with you, continue to have you, hate it when others lay a hand on you, and I treasure and treat you preciously, so why isn’t that love?”
“Putting this, kind of thing, on me right now, is that… love? You… You, just want to have a fascinating toy in your grasp and play with it!”
I roughly wiped my tears with my palm. I didn’t want to cry in front of this bastard, but it was difficult with the tears that just kept on streaming out. Still, I didn’t want to hold my tears back. Right then, Jung Haekyung suddenly said, “I studied all the reviews when buying this, though.”
Jung Haekyung grabbed my hand and forced it downward. Then, he wiped my tears with gentle movements instead and continued, “Everyone put it on for love. Because they wanted to live together. Because they wanted to be together. There’s no helping it. Because they love each other.”
I was rendered speechless by his unbelievable words. Jung Haekyung wiped the wet corners of my eyes with his thumb.
“I can’t hit you for not listening, you know. I don’t want to hurt you.” Jung Haekyung whispered once more, “A toy, you say. Do you kiss and have sex with your toys?”
“……”
“Well, I heard that some people actually do that. Anyway, it’s certainly a unique taste.”
“……”
“Where is that toy? I’ll have to burn it since you kissed and had sex with it.”
Jung Haekyung laughed. Innocently. But what came next wasn’t all that innocent. Jung Haekyung forced me to lay on my stomach and placed a finger behind me again.
“You don’t want to?”
I wanted to say that I didn’t want to, even if it was just out of pure stubbornness, but no words would come out. I was already fearing the shock that would come to me at that moment. Of course, it was true that I was a son of a bitch. But even as the length of the silence prolonged, the result remained the same. Jung Haekyung pressed the switch again. I hope all the bastards who created this thing die. A rush of pain overcame me, a pain that neither humans nor animals should experience.
“You don’t want to?”
I shook my head, even as I kept it buried on the ground. Jung Haekyung pressed down on the area around my back hole and said, “Then, do you want to do it?”
“…Yeah, I really want to fucking do it, you shitty fucker.”
I gathered the last of my stubbornness and cursed him out, but the contents of my words were still admitting submission to Jung Haekyung, so it wasn’t one or the other. No, it was even funnier. To resist until the very end, or to accept my circumstances. The ridiculous struggle was so funny that I actually laughed for real. When I burst out laughing, Jung Haekyung laughed along with me.
“Me too, Euijin-ah.”
Jung Haekyung fumbled around the underside of the table. I soon felt a slippery feeling on my behind. There was also the sound of a condom being torn. There were dozens of lube and condoms placed around the house, in various colours and flavours. Once this lunatic had a determined rule, he never changed it. Every time I witnessed his consistency, like in the current situation, I’d find it all the more appalling. I was scared he’d continue to be this consistent with me. I was scared that I would have to live like this until the day I died. In a state that was neither wounded nor broken, just as Jung Haekyung had wished.
orcinus comments:
With this chapter, part 2 of the novel has reached its end~ onto part 3!
Also, the raws of the novel are available again! However, the novel has been revised and enlarged, meaning there have been differences made to the content and timeline. I’ll… figure something out with how to work with this. For those who are not in the discord server, I’ll be on indefinite break as well since I recently broke my arm. Stay warm everyone ^^
Bro I feel so bad for euijin 😭
my heart broke