Xu Qichen stood rooted to the spot, the familiar yet unfamiliar land making it impossible for him to take a single step. He could only stare at the person sitting on the bus stop bench, his black eyes as sharp as ever.
Xia Zhixu had said that everything he did was for the chance to know how it feels to be loved by him.
What did he mean by that?
The truth was revealed so suddenly that Xu Qichen almost lost his basic judgment ability.
He felt like his mind was a mess, having no idea about what was going on.
Was he dreaming?
“I don’t understand…”, Xu Qichen frowned.
“I know you don’t understand.” Xia Zhixu laughed and pointed in front of him, “The first time I saw you, you were standing there. I was so stupid back then. Looking back, I think it was love at first sight for me, but I didn’t know it then. Accepting the basic rule of attraction between the opposite sex since childhood made me think that I just wanted to be friends with you.”
Xu Qichen’s heart moved, his chest, which had felt like a deep dry well, suddenly rippled like the sound of flowing water.
What was he saying? He couldn’t understand at all.
Love at first sight…
Joy seemed to separate from his consciousness. It inexplicably occupied his entire body, filling every pore and cell, and before he could react, he was overwhelmed by the emotion.
But, how could it be?
He did not dare to believe it.
“It was also here that you said you don’t want to be friends anymore.” Xia Zhixu took a deep breath, seeming to want to quickly get rid of the painful memories. “Actually, you know what? I’ve been thinking about it for a long time. Every minute I was with you, I hesitated. Should I say it? Should I not say it? But I was really being a coward. I was always afraid that if I made a mistake, you’ll run away.”
He lowered his head and spoke in a relaxed tone, “I thought, as long as I don’t expose it, as long as I let these words rot in my stomach, I could at least occupy a relatively intimate position in your life. I would always be with you, go to college with you, watch you realise your dreams, find the person you like, get married, have children, and even drive to pick up your child from school when you’re busy. That’s really what I thought at the time.”
Xu Qichen’s fingers began to tremble uncontrollably.
Xia Zhixu’s voice choked up, “I can really bear with it, being only friends.”
As long as I can be by your side, it doesn’t matter who I am to you.
I’m not that greedy.
“But God did not even grant me that much. As soon as I looked away, everything was gone.” He stood up and walked up to Xu Qichen, leaving only a single step between them.
He smiled at him. It was a familiar smile, that sharp tooth shining brightly as always.
But his tone was very serious.
“I’m 25 now. Two-fifths of my life has been spent loving you. If we round it up, that’s half my life. Actually, I was never going to say these words to you, I didn’t want to disturb the life you built. But ever since I met you again at that gathering and talked to you for a while, I’ve been unable to sleep at nights. And when I pass out from exhaustion, it’s only to dream of you.” He chuckled self-deprecatingly and said, “I’m afraid, if this continues, I’ll get some kind of illness.”
Looking at Xia Zhixu, Xu Qichen’s heart felt as if it had been grabbed painfully by someone.
He had never expected that the widely admired Xia Zhixu would become like this.
“Everyone told me that time heals all wounds.”
He lowered his eyes and shook his head, “But I don’t think so. If so, then he’s also a quack who gave me the wrong advice, making me increasingly helpless. Later on, I thought that the reason why I became like this might be because I’ve never got what I wanted, and felt bitter. So I wanted to borrow your consciousness for just 10 minutes, use these virtual characters to get close to you, and feel what it’s like to be loved by you, even if it’s fake, even if you’re just doing a task, it’s enough. Then, after feeling it for myself, I will leave.”
“But I was wrong.” His voice got lower and lower, and his forced casualness also began to crumble. “I was wrong from the start. I’m too greedy. Once I got it, I didn’t want it to end, and just the you in the virtual world wasn’t enough for me anymore.”
“I finally understand that I’ve been suffering for so many years, not because I’m bitter that I didn’t get to be with you, but because I like you, because I want to be with you, I…”
He looked up at Xu Qichen.
“I love you.”
Finally saying what he had wanted to say for ten years, Xia Zhixu thought he would feel relieved.
But now he realised that he didn’t feel like his wish had been fulfilled at all. Instead, he began to feel uneasy, as if he was still looking forward to something. After all, in so many virtual worlds, he had gained a lot more than he had imagined.
What if…
What if.
Xu Qichen looked down and suddenly laughed.
Laughed nonstop.
Xia Zhixu felt doubtful. Were his words so funny?
His anxiety intensified.
“The two of us are such idiots.”
Deaf and blind, yet so stubborn.
Groping in the darkness for so many years, when the person they really wanted to be with, was right there, in front of them.
Xu Qichen took half a step forward.
His voice a bit choked up.
“Hold me.”
Xia Zhixu was stunned. This was beyond his expectations.
Was his ‘what if’ coming true?
Xu Qichen raised his head and looked into his wet eyes. He reached out his hand and tugged at Xia Zhixu’s arms.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
“Lbiv wf jt.”
Wlj Itlze, ktb tjv yffc reqqgfrrlcu tlr fwbalbcr, teuufv tlw. Lf tjv j iba bo atlcur ab rjs, yea atfs kfgf jii raemx lc tlr atgbja jcv tf mbeivc’a rqfjx.
Do you like me too?
Do you really like me?
How could this be…
Lf yeglfv tlr ojmf lc We Hlmtfc’r cfmx.
We Hlmtfc’r tjcvr agfwyifv rilutais, jr tf teuufv Wlj Itlze yjmx.
He sniffed, his voice soft, “You probably don’t know, but Lin Ran, Mu Yao, Song Yuanyan, and Su Lin, all their prototypes are you. I haven’t had any other love experience and can’t write a good love story. The only thing I can refer to is my feelings for you. However, I thought it was impossible for me in this life, so the ending of each story was so tragic that I was deceived into this ghostly system by you, and I really believed it was a punishment from the readers.”
Feeling the person holding him go stiff at his words, Xu Qichen rubbed his neck and said, “If we round it up, I’ve also spent half my life loving only one person.”
His breath gently lingered around his neck, like some kind of comfort.
“And his name is Xia Zhixu.”
Xia Zhixu’s mind went blank for a moment.
He never thought that he had been carefully acting as himself all along.
“Hey, I’m not even crying, why are you crying?” Xu Qichen patted his back and laughed, “If I knew you’d cry, I wouldn’t have said anything.”
He was already 25, why was he still crying
Xia Zhixu rubbed his shoulders and said, “You never mean what you say.”
So he’s holding grudges? Xu Qichen pushed him, “Then just pretend you didn’t hear it.”
“No way! If you deny it, I’ll ask 0901 to record it and play it until you admit it.” He smiled, revealing his sharp teeth. “Say it to me again when we get back.”
What an idiot, crying and smiling at the same time.
Xu Qichen’s ears were a bit hot, so he lowered his head and smiled awkwardly.
Then he discovered a nametag with the character Xia hidden beneath his collar.
He lifted the collar to look at the words on the badge.
Xia Zhixu.
“This…”
“This is my last bit of selfishness.” Xia Zhixu covered his nameplate and smiled awkwardly. “Don’t look,” he said, holding his hand. “Can you accompany me to a place before you go back?”
“Where?”
Xia Zhixu smiled and didn’t reply, just holding onto him as he walked into the campus where countless memories lingered.
The place was empty, with no one around. They did not have to worry about anyone’s gaze. Instead, they calmly held each other’s hands, let go of their past grievances and anxieties, and accepted this place that had been sealed in their hearts for too long.
“Did you make all of this?” Xu Qichen looked at the cherry blossom forest and the marble steps near the entrance of the school, each one overlapping perfectly with his memory. “It’s so magical.”
“I have come back a few times, and it’s changed quite a bit,” Xia Zhixu sighed, “so I can only rely on my memory to make it.”
Xu Qichen never went back to Jingjian.
Although he knew that after he left, there were many clarification posts on the forum, and many people came forward to help him explain, that month’s experience made him unable to muster the courage to return to the place that had once given him a lot of warmth.
By the time he realised, Xia Zhixu had already taken him to the teaching building. He smiled and said, “Xu Qichen, we need to go back to class.”
He seemed to be waiting for something, standing still for a moment. After a few seconds, he yelled, “0901, hurry up!”
0901 suddenly spoke, “Apologies, there was an issue with the audio. It has been patched.”
“Stop talking nonsense…” Xia Zhixu cleared his throat and repeated, “Xu Qichen, we need to…”
The bell for the class rang suddenly. It was so loud that it completely drowned out the rest of his sentence.
Xu Qichen bent over laughing. “I didn’t expect you to like following scripts so much.”
Xia Zhixu held back his desire to clean up this foolish AI. “I’ll deal with you later…” He grabbed Xu Qichen’s hand and walked up to the fourth floor.
They arrived at the classroom near the stairs.
Looking up, he saw the sign above the door. ‘Class 1-13’.
His placed his hands on Xu Qichen’s shoulder, pushed him inside until they reached the fifth row of the desks that they used to sit in. “Classmate, this is your seat, please take a seat,” he said.
Xu Qichen obediently sat down and looked up, watching as he walked up to the podium and cleared his throat. He looked across the classroom as if it was really filled with students.
“Hi everyone, I’m Xia Zhixu.” He turned around and wrote his name on the board. “My name may not be as elegant as our classmate Xu Qichen’s, but it also has its origin.” He smiled like he had back then, and very carefully wrote another three characters beside his name.
“Xia, as in ‘Xia Zhixu’. Xu, as in ‘Xu Qichen’.”
The floating dust in the air outlined the shape of light, and the light that shone straight into the corner of the window illuminated his brilliant face inch by inch.
“This is my name.”
And it is also my fate, that I, with my name Xia Zhixu, would one day meet you and understand you.
And have you.
Xu Qichen tilted his head, meeting Xia Zhixu’s eyes. “Who allowed you to introduce yourself like that? Xu Qichen himself does not approve.”
Xia Zhixu came down from the podium, dusted the chalk off his hands, and let out a fake sigh, “Ah, you have indeed changed. If it had been before, you would be too flustered to look at me..”
Then he took a seat behind Xu Qichen.
Once upon a time, he used to sit here every day, looking at the person in front of him, watching his shoulder blades peeking out from under his white shirt like butterfly wings, stirring his heart.
Xu Qichen also felt a bit embarrassed. He didn’t look back, just like he did ten years ago, even though his heart was tied to the one in the back seat, he didn’t dare to easily turn back.
Xia Zhixu said, “Classmate Xu Qichen, you are so good, so excellent, and full of virtues. You’re only lacking one thing.”
Xu Qichen chuckled.
“Why don’t you ask me what you’re lacking?” Xia Zhixu pinched the back of his neck playfully. “Have some humility.”
“Then tell me, what am I lacking?”
Xia Zhixu smiled and said, “A boyfriend.”
What? Xu Qichen half lowered his head, his ears burning. Acting like a real highschool student.
Xia Zhixu cleared his throat and said in a serious tone, “Classmate Xu Qichen, will you be my boyfriend?”
Xu Qichen stared at a small dent at the edge of the table.
“I mean it.”
His heart was beating hastily, uselessly missing a few beats.
“If you’re willing, turn around and look at me.”
Outside the window, the extremely noisy cicadas gave him some courage.
Xu Qichen took a deep breath and turned around.
Only to meet the lips of the person leaning over the table behind him.
He widened his eyes in surprise and saw Xia Zhixu’s eyelashes trembling slightly, like a brush pulling open the curtains, revealing his deep black pupils.
He has had many kisses with this person under different skins, some soft, some passionate.
But never before had his heart beat so loudly.
Just the soft touch of his lips, and his heart seemed to be taken away by him just like that.
Xia Zhixu released him, then hugged him across the desk.
“The first kiss was sent out ten years late,” he lowered his head and kissed Xu Qichen’s ear. “But I don’t think it’s a shame at all. Even if we miss each other by 50 years, you would still be my first love.”
Xu Qichen’s eyes were starting to redden, so he had to hide it with a smile, “You mean your crush.”
“Didn’t you have a crush on me too?” Xia Zhixu let go of him and poked his forehead. “We’re both cowards, so you can’t say anything about that.”
Childish! Xu Qichen could not resist grinning.
Although they had missed a lot, but if it weren’t for fate and the years of separation, how would they know for sure?
That they really couldn’t live without each other.
“Let’s go back.” Xu Qichen looked into his eyes, his amber pupils shining brightly. “Let the past of Xia Zhixu and Xu Qichen stop here.”
He reached out and gently caressed Xia Zhixu’s face, slowly sliding his hand down from his eyes to the jawline.
“I want to hug the real you.”
Xia Zhixu grabbed his hand and nodded. “Okay, let’s go back.”
In an instant, the surrounding scenery melted into tiny dots of light, gradually melting away. Xu Qichen closed his eyes, feeling that he had probably been infected by Xia Zhixu’s paranoia, and even felt a little scared at this moment.
What if all of this was just a dream?
The voice of 0901 suddenly appeared, “Detaching from the subject, shutting down the system.”
Then he heard three beeps.
Xu Qichen felt a slight pain in his head. He lifted his head and found his workbench in front of him. Suddenly, his eyes were illuminated by a strong light, which he was not accustomed to.
He was about to raise his hand and rub his eyes, only to find that he was still wearing his newly matched glasses. He took off the glasses and looked down carefully, only to find a very small metal disc beneath the lens.
Suddenly, the sound of 0901 came to Xu Qichen’s ear, and he was startled to discover that he was wearing the headphones that came with his glasses.
“Mr. Xu, please go downstairs.”
Downstairs?
Xu Qichen stood up skeptically, shook his head, and said, “The system shut down, but I still have to listen to you?”
0901 replied blandly, “Don’t shoot the messenger.”
It’s still very good at pushing the blame.
Xu Qichen opened the door. The spring night was cool, so he wrapped himself in a coat and called the elevator.
“Will you always be in the headphones?”
0901 replied, “Mr. Xu, I will have a new form in the future, and of course, all past data will be kept as backups.”
Xu Qichen coughed and said somewhat guilty, “Can you destroy some of it?”
“Apologies, Mr. Xu. You should know my rights are limited.”
With a ding sound, the elevator door was opened. Xu Qichen walked out and asked, “Why did you call me down? It’s like 4AM, so scary…”
Before he could finish speaking, a tall figure appeared in front of him. Step by step, he walked out of the dark tree shadow, with headphones hanging around his neck, just like himself.
Xu Qichen stared at him, “Why are you here?”
How did he get here at this hour?
Xia Zhixu walked over and stood in front of Xu Qichen, “This is also my first time using this system. I was worried about accidents, so I rented an apartment nearby in advance just in case.”
He took off Xu Qichen’s headphones and touched his ears, “Are you cold?”
The cool fingertips gently touched his burning ears, and the exchange of body temperature gave him a wonderful psychological effect, feeling the nerves all over his body tense. Xu Qichen shook his head.
They had gone through so much together in the virtual world and done everything they should and shouldn’t have done. However, standing in front of each other in person, he still felt embarrassed.
“Do, do you want to come up for coffee or something?”
Xia Zhixu laughed, “Now we’re really acting like new boyfriends.”
“If you don’t want to, then don’t.” Xu Qichen’s heart was starting to warm up as well, “Then why…”
Why did you come here?
Or rather, what should we be doing now?
Gosh. He felt like he was fifteen again, feeling lost all the time.
Xia Zhixu grabbed his hand and, like before, dragged him away without a word. Xu Qichen seemed to have gotten used to it and let him bring him to his car.
“Where are we going?”
Xia Zhixu started the car and said, “To a place I’ve always dreamed of taking you to.”
Xu Qichen looked at him with some confusion, but Xia Zhixu had stopped talking. He silently grabbed his hand and lifted it to his lips, kissing his fingers carefully and then deeply kissing the back of his hand.
Then, he reached out over the handbrake.
Xu Qichen closed his eyes.
But he realized that things were not as he thought. Xia Zhixu reached across him, lowered his head, and earnestly helped him to fasten his seat belt.
“Done.”
Xu Qichen’s Adam’s apple moved, and he felt extremely embarrassed about his assumption just now. The car slowly drove out of the community. Xia Zhixu continued to hold his hand, gently stroking his knuckles.
Xu Qichen pretended to be sleepy to cover up the palpitations in his heart. Xia Zhixu saw his head tilted over and thoughtfully helped him recline the seat. It was originally a pretense, but Xu Qichen had been staying up late before entering the system. When he relaxed, he felt extremely sleepy and actually fell asleep.
It didn’t feel like long before Xia Zhixu woke him up by gently touching his face and whispering his name. Xu Qichen instinctively grabbed his hand and struggled to open his eyes.
“Are we there?”
Xu Qichen was a little unhappy at being woken up. He didn’t know why Xia Zhixu dragged him here the moment they got back. What kind of place was this?
Xia Zhixu helped him sit up. He stood by the car, hugging him and gently touching his back. Xu Qichen leaned his head against his belly, snorted twice, and soon pushed him away.
“What is it?”
Xu Qichen rubbed his eyes and said, “Your belly is hard and uncomfortable.”
Xia Zhixu laughed and said, “These are abs, not a belly. Alright, we need to go.” He took a woolen hat from the back seat of the car and put it on Xu Qichen’s head. He pulled the edges for him, tucked-in his hair, and said, “Don’t let the wind give you a headache.” After fixing the hat, Xia Zhixu kissed his forehead through the woolen hat and said, “Let’s go.”
Xu Qichen’s eyes were not as good as before. He walked out in a hurry this time without taking his glasses, and everything he saw was blurry. It was even more obvious when he woke up, and he could only let Xia Zhixu hold his hand and bring him to an elevator.
“Where are we going?”
“You’ll find out in a moment.”
Soon, the elevator brought them to the right floor. Xia Zhixu pulled him to a door. Xu Qichen was puzzled and looked at him. However, Xia Zhixu smiled and said, “Press the doorbell.”
Who were they visiting at this hour?
“I thought it was your house…” Xu Qichen reached up and pressed the doorbell.
Suddenly, he realised there was a ring on his ring finger.
He stared at it, wondering if he was imagining things.
“It is my house,” Xia Zhixu said with a smile.
A middle-aged woman called out from the other side of the door, “Who’s calling at this hour!?”
“Mom, it’s me, open the door.”
Mom…
Xu Qichen twisted the ring that inexplicably appeared in his hand and blinked in confusion.
Then he was shocked to his senses.
Mom!??
Thanks for the chapter.
Years of mutual pining and then meeting the parent in just one day? Bruh.
..gosh…they have come such a long way ah…im feeling so happy right now …
.and the ringgg….they are finally going to be together!!…and damn ro’s gonna jump right into meeting the parents after getting together ah….i cant wait for the next update…ahhhhhh
thanks for the chapter!!love it soo much…
😍
bro’s*