CW: homophobia is a theme throughout this chapter.
“Did you join the math Olympiad training team?” Xu Qichen’s eyes were bright. “Impressive. I heard that as long as you join, you’re guaranteed a recommendation to T University, and our school is only sending you and one of the first years.”
He was even more excited than Xia Zhixu himself, making Xia Zhixu feel warm. He bent down to pick the can of cola from the vending machine before sighing and saying, “I’m not sure about the recommendation, but I have to attend a month-long training in Beijing. Just thinking about it feels so troublesome. My brother said that we can’t even bring our phones. They’ll completely isolate us from the outside world.”
Xu Qichen laughed, “You’ll be fine. A month will go by very quickly. Besides, a month of hard work is nothing to get a recommendation.”
But his concern had never been the hard work.
Xia Zhixu looked down. “When I’m gone, remember to eat well. If you have any problems, Chen Fang will help you. Or Xia Xiqing, even though he’s very annoying. Especially since we’re third years, take care of your health…”
“I know, I know.” Xu Qichen was smiling, “Why do you sound like an old father who’s going on a business trip.”
The two of them unconsciously walked from the cafeteria to the cherry blossom forest, where only leaves were swaying in the wind as the trees were already past their flowering period. Xu Qichen suddenly thought of something, “Oh, by the way, does the person you like know you’re going to the training camp?”
Xia Zhixu froze. So he still remembered that confession incident?
He glanced at Xu Qichen, but before he could answer, Xu Qichen laughed and said, “I shouldn’t have asked.” Then he changed the subject, “What will you study in university? Math? Finance?”
Xia Zhixu shook his head and said, “Neither. I want to study computer science.”
At Xu Qichen’s puzzled look Xia Zhixu laughed and explained, “Because science and technology is the primary productive force.” He looked at the sky and said, “There are many things that cannot be achieved now, but they might be achieved through technology in the future. What about you?”
“Literature, I think. Teacher Zhang said that with my previous awards, there shouldn’t be any major issues with applying for recommendation for W or F universities.”
“Don’t you want to go to Beijing to study?” Xia Zhixu frowned slightly.
He always thought they would go to Beijing together.
“I do,” Xu Qichen said. “To apply to a better one, I need to do well in this National Gathering Cup. However, Teacher Zhang said that if I’m looking for a university with a strong humanities department, I don’t really have to leave the city…”
He said this a little guiltily, because he was afraid Xia Zhixu would see that he actually wanted to go to Beijing with him.
Xia Zhixu suddenly felt frustrated. He was always talking about Teacher Zhang. Are his words the law?
The two of them climbed the stairs and as soon as they reached the fourth floor, they saw Zhang Zhengxin walking out of a class. He greeted them, then said, “You two are inseparable.”
Xu Qichen was a little embarrassed. “Oh, right, Teacher Zhang, I left the registration form for the Gathering Cup on your desk.”
Seeing them begin to chat, Xia Zhixu quickly mumbled his greetings and went into his classroom. After all, he still harboured some anger in his heart. As soon as he entered the classroom, he was surrounded by several people. Everyone had heard about his math Olympiad training from somewhere. They were all full of questions. Xia Zhixu sat back in his seat and glanced out, only to find Zhang Zhengxin and Xu Qichen still standing by the staircase outside the door.
He didn’t know what they were talking about, but Xu Qichen’s eyes were fixed on the teacher with rapt attention, like a very good student.
Zhang Zhengxin reached out to pat his head with a gentle smile.
Xia Zhixu felt that he had probably gone so crazy that even witnessing this scene was making him upset.
He was a person who had no talent for literature. Because of this, it seemed like, they would always be on different wavelengths. Never mind discussing those exquisite sentences or profound humanistic core values with him, even when he read his award-winning works, he could only admire them from the bottom of his heart and helplessly say, “You wrote so well.”
Liking someone to the extreme can erode one’s confidence.
On the day Xia Zhixu set off for Beijing, it rained and the whole sky was dark. Xu Qichen looked out the window and couldn’t help but lose his focus.
“Aiya, I’m actually missing my precious nephew now that he’s gone off to Beijing.” Xia Xiqing arranged the books on his desk. “His line was engaged every time I tried to call him last night. I wonder who he was talking to for so long.”
Xu Qichen lowered his head and silently took out a book from the drawer, glancing at Xia Xiqing beside him.
“Your drawer has become a storage cabinet for extracurricular books. You have so many of them, only Teacher Zhang would let it go. Any other teacher would have confiscated them all.”
“Aren’t you the same?” Xu Qichen glanced at his desk. “Yours is full of art books and comics.”
“No, we’re different. You won’t be punished just because you’re a good student. As for me, I don’t care at all. If he confiscates them, I’ll make a scene in the office every day until he returns them to me.” Xia Xiqing smiled and grabbed his backpack. “I have to go to the art studio for training. The art exam is in a few months, so I have to pick up the slack.”
“Good luck!” Xu Qichen smiled and watched as he left.
The girl in the seat in front of him turned around and said, “I envy people like Xia Xiqing who are so clever. We never see him study much, yet he always manages to stay at the top of the class.”
Xu Qichen also expressed agreement in his heart. He was the top scorer in their class, especially in mathematics.
Perhaps the Xia family is just talented in mathematics.
He counted the essays stacked on his table that he had been collecting from his classmates all afternoon. They were finally all in. He stood up to take them to the office but was stopped by the girl in front of him.
“By the way, Qichen, my friend also wants to read the book you lent me last time. Can you lend it to us for a few days?”
Xu Qichen nodded, “It’s in my drawer, just help yourself. I’m going to hand in the essays.”
“Thanks!”
On the way back from the office, Xu Qichen suddenly thought of something.
His drawer still contained the new books he bought online, that he had picked up from the school’s mail room this morning. He just tore off the packaging but because he had no place to put them, he had stuffed them into the drawer. Realizing this issue, his footsteps involuntarily quickened.
His became restless. It felt as if a pair of invisible hands were digging for something buried deep in his heart that could not be seen. He began to lament his carelessness, while simultaneously wondering if the stairs were always this long.
Finally, panting, Xu Qichen ran into the classroom. He looked up at his classmates in the classroom, still the same as when he went out, sleeping and reading, without any significant changes.
He heaved a sigh of relief.
The girl said, “You’re back.” She waved the book in her hand. “It wasn’t easy to find. There are way too many books in your drawer.”
There was a thin layer of sweat on Xu Qichen’s back, making it difficult for his skin to breathe.
“Yeah… I should take some home.”
He was relieved that it was not discovered.
She turned around and said, “I didn’t expect you to have English books as well.”
He stiffened. He opened his mouth, but no words came out.
“When I was looking for this just now, I saw that you had several English books stuffed inside. It’s really impressive. I still have a hard time reading those untranslated.”
She didn’t seem to have noticeed anything, her face was very sunny.
But the boy sitting beside her, who had been writing English notes silently, suddenly turned around. He pushed his glasses up his nose. “You have some English books? What books? Can I see them?”
Xu Qichen placed his hand in the drawer and looked at the boy. “Umm…”
The books were actually Giovanni’s Room and Brokeback Mountain, both of which are literature with homosexual themes.
The boy’s gaze was somewhat puzzled as if questioning why Xu Qichen was so hesitant when his desk mate had just mentioned that he had the books in his drawer.
He swallowed his saliva, feeling very nervous. Fortunately, the class bell rang just then. Xu Qichen spoke in a low voice, “If the teacher sees it during self-study, it may be confiscated. I will bring you more books tomorrow.”
“Oh…” The boy’s doubts lingered on his face, but he still turned back to the front.
Taking advantage of no one paying attention to him, Xu Qichen quickly stuffed the new books in the table drawer into his backpack, zipped it tightly, and pressed his back against it. After the evening self-study, he left the classroom with his backpack.
It had rained all day. Xu Qichen, soaked and holding his backpack, walked to the bus stop. He was used to being with Xia Zhixu, but suddenly he was the only one left. It was a little uncomfortable.
Since the car accident, Xu Qichen had become a complete pessimist. No matter what, he always made predictions based on the worst-case scenario. The bleak autumn wind blew through his half-wet body, causing even his spine to tremble.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
He felt that he was not holding just books, but a ticking time bomb.
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“Kfjmtfg…” We Hlmtfc mifjgfv tlr atgbja. “P’w kjlalcu obg atf yer.”
“Come on, I’ll send you home. It’s still raining, your aunt will worry if you fall sick.” Seeing him unmoving, Zhang Zhengxin got out of the car and opened the door to the passenger seat. “Get in.”
Xu Qichen held his backpack and hesitated as he entered the car. Zhang Zhengxin turned the steering wheel and said, “You’re going home alone because Xia Zhixu went for training?”
“Not really…” Xu Qichen tried to explain, “We just happen to go home together because we live nearby.”
“You’re lucky. Nothing is as pure as high school friendships. I’m still in touch with my high school classmates, and we even go out drinking together when we have free time.”
Is that so? Xu Qichen gripped his wet backpack tightly.
The word ‘pure’ seemed to be mocking him.
Zhang Zhengxin drove him to the downstairs of the unit building. When Xu Qichen got out of the car he asked, “Teacher, aren’t you coming up?”
Zhang Zhengxin shook his head, “I shouldn’t.”
Xu Qichen nodded and turned around to leave, but he heard Zhang Zhengxin say, “Why don’t you ask your aunt if she wants to come down instead?”
His tone was very tender.
Xu Qichen smiled, “Okay.”
While Xia Zhixu was gone, Xu Qichen remained as before, quietly reading and studying alone in his small space. In his spare time, he chatted with Xia Xiqing, whenever he had free time, or wrote something by himself. He still did not participate in any social events or joined any groups. He tried to avoid gossip to remain invisible.
Until one day, a girl from another class called him to the door and gave him a love letter.
“I’ve liked you for very long… Please read this letter.” Then she turned around and left.
Xu Qichen really admired her courage. That was something he could never do.
He returned to the classroom with the pink letter in his hand. He had barely taken two steps when the letter was snatched by Xiao Yue, one of the girls in his class who gossiped a lot. She sighed strangely and said, “Oh my, another poor little girl, leaving her entire heart with our Genius Xu.”
The tone of this sentence made Xu Qichen feel uncomfortable. He reached out his hand and spoke lightly, “Please give the letter back.”
“Just let me look at it ah, since you’re going to reject her anyway.”
Xu Qichen frowned slightly. Xiao Yue had sent a confession message to him on Valentine’s Day last year, which he had rejected. He took into account her privacy and did not mention this matter to anyone.
At his silence, Xiao Yue opened the letter. “Tsktsk, two pages. She wrote so much.”
The girl next to her also began to tease, “Of course, without any writing talent, who would dare write a letter to Genius Xu?”
“Give it back, stop reading it,” Xu Qichen lowered his tone, his expression obviously upset.
Seeing him like this, Xiao Yue felt prickly in her heart and her voice became sharp. “Isn’t it just a love letter? Why do you want to protect it? Don’t tell me you’ve changed your sexuality? You like girls now?”
Her angry words were like a knife, cutting open a big hole in Xu Qichen’s chest.
Xu Qichen did not even notice his lips were trembling, “Don’t talk nonsense…”
“Nonsense? Did you think we’re all stupid? We’ve all already discussed this. Why are you acting so chivalrous if you don’t even like girls? Digusting.”
The pink letter was thrown onto Xu Qichen’s face by Xiao Yue before falling unnoticed on the floor.
Xu Qichen stood still for a moment before bending down to pick up the letter.
So the past matter was not over.
Instead, it was like a seed, soaking rumours in a dark corner, growing wildly in his ignorance. Before he knew it, it was a monster that he could not recognise.
Originally, everyone with suspicion was just secretly gossiping underground, carefully avoiding the person involved. Since his argument with Xiao Yue, they seemed to decide that it was okay to openly discuss this matter. No one cared about his feelings anymore. The rumours had finally evolved into a viral form of transmission, spreading recklessly to the outside world.
“Hey, have you heard? Xu Qichen from class 4 is gay, he likes boys.”
“Really? He was in my class last year…”
“Although I’m really not homophobic… um… it still feels a bit strange for it to be someone I know.”
“Wow, he really likes boys? So scary…”
“Why? Did you think he’ll like you just because you’re male?”
“Hahaha!”
They probably felt that they were just discussing in good faith, but they overlooked one point: a soft knife is also a knife, and it still hurt to be stabbed by it.
Even when collecting homework, Xu Qichen was teased insinuatively.
“You are the only one who hasn’t submitted the summary. Please hand it in, I’m going to the office now.”
The boy who was urged to do homework was a low achieving student who entered the key class through connections. While playing games, he looked up at Xu Qichen and said with a playful smile, “Class representative, let me discuss something with you. You see, I have never laughed at you behind your back before. I am different from them. So, can you overlook this?”
The boys around him all laughed.
Xu Qichen’s face turned pale and he gritted his back teeth tightly. He stood by his seat for a while before speaking hoarsely, “Whatever, you can hand it over to Teacher Zhang directly.”
He did not have the courage to confront the girl who had borrowed books from him before, questioning whether she had been the one who started the rumours, nor did he have the energy to look for other sources.
He began to lose control over his ears, hearing people discussing the books he had read, the same-sex movies he had watched, and even more so, searching for any clues that could support their hypothesis from the acclaimed articles he had written before.
They were not malicious, they were only sharing secrets.
Xu Qichen felt hopeless. If these were nothing but rumours, he could calmly expose and confront the mockers hidden in the dark corners, overthrowing their ‘slander’. But he couldn’t.
Just like the heavy snow that he felt guilty about for many years, he could not deny that he was truly excited and happy from the bottom of his heart for the snow disaster that had buried many lives.
He also could not deny that he liked boys.
During the physical education class, Xu Qichen stood silently in the class line. They were lined up too close to each other, so close that he felt as if everyone’s gaze was on him, either openly disdainful or with false kindness.
“Today is the pre exam physical test. Boys and girls will be separated. Boys will do push ups first. They will work in pairs and count for each other. The same goes for the girls’ sit ups. I will go to the equipment room first.”
The physical education teacher said he would disband and then leave. Before they completely dispersed, the boy who refused to submit homework joked, “Don’t put me and Xu Qichen together.”
A few boys at the back snickered.
Xu Qichen remained silent, with no expression on his face.
Xia Xiqing, who had been absent from class lately, took the physical education class out of his usual routine today. When he heard the boy say something like this from behind, he frowned and said, “Didn’t your mother teach you any manners? I’m feeling generous today, so I’ll teach you to be a good person.”
Xu Qichen tugged at Xia Xiqing’s arm and was about to speak when the boy scolded him again, “What I say is none of your business. Why are you speaking up for him? Aren’t you afraid he’ll be too grateful?”
Everyone laughed again, and Xia Xiqing shook off Xu Qichen’s hand and rushed forward to grab the person’s collar. His voice was low, “Who someone likes is none of your business. Why are you rushing to jump on every bandwagon?”
“I just can’t approve of gays!”
“And who asked for your approval?” Xia Xiqing punched his left cheek and kicked him as well. “Who do you think you are?”
The other students came forward and pulled the two of them apart. The boy was even more reluctant after being beaten, and continued to scold, “Why are you so riled up? Are you gay too?” He spat blood foam, “Fucking disgusting.”
“I just can’t understand, what does any of this have to do with you? Why is there so much discussion!?” Xia Xiqing’s shoulders were behind held back by two others. “Even if I liked a dog, that’s a matter between me and the dog!”
Everyone’s focus was drawn away by the two of them, and Xu Qichen, who was at the center of the topic, stood aside and could do nothing.
Finally, the fight was brought to the teaching office.
The three people involved all entered the office, and Xia Xiqing originally wanted to take on all the blame, but Xu Qichen insisted it was his fault.
Originally intended to be given the punishment of staying on campus for observation, Zhang Zhengxin couldn’t bear to see Xu Qichen like this, so he used the excuse of the essay competition to discuss the matter of reducing the punishment with Director Wang. In the end, he got no punishment at all.
But no one would have expected that this would lead to rumours of an inappropriate student-teacher relationship.
Just like the mutation of a virus, he was suddenly being charged with a brand new crime.
Sitting on the bus back to Jingjian, Xia Zhixu was filled with anticipation. In all his years, no one had ever made him miss them so much. He felt like his heart was no longer in this body, but in the hands of another person.
“Hey, senior Xia, have you seen the school forum?” The junior who went to the training camp with him was sitting behind him.
Xia Zhixu turned around, bewildered. “What’s up with the forum? I didn’t bring my phone.”
“I also saw it just now. My classmate sent me a link to a post. It’s about someone in your grade.”
Xia Zhixu was not very interested, but his junior muttered to himself, “Class 4 is a key class in humanities, isn’t it? How could it be like this…”
“Class 4? What happened?” Xia Zhixu snatched the phone from his junior and glanced at the front page of the school forum.
[Class 2-4 Ambiguous relationship between class teacher and male student. Photo evidence in post. Isn’t the school doing anything?]
Xia Zhixu frowned and scrolled down to see a photo of a student getting into a car. The photo was not very clear, but Xia Zhixu recognized Xu Qichen immediately.. The car was also Zhang Zhengxin’s car.
His back felt cold, his fingers began to stiffen, and he scrolled further down. The post even listed various criminal evidence for the two of them.
[Zhang Zhengxin often calls Xu Qichen to his office to discuss ‘essay competitions’ in private.]
[Xu Qichen joined all sorts of competition under Zhang Zhengxin’s recommendation and won through connections.]
[Multiple people witnessed Xu Qichen getting into Zhang Zhengxin’s car after school, and their behavior was intimate.]
…
The following replies are even more terrifying, with various people discussing rumours between the two. Some say that Zhang Zhengxin was very indulgent towards Xu Qichen, and no matter what mistakes he made, he will not blame him and would even cover up for his mistakes in front of the teaching director. Others say that Xu Qichen approached Zhang Zhengxin only for the recommendation to the liberal arts class, and even led the homeroom teacher to his own home.
The junior stretched his head and watched Xia Zhixu’s expression getting more and more abnormal. His hands began to tremble, so he patted him and asked, “Senior, are you okay? What’s wrong?”
The moment the bus arrived, Xia Zhixu ran off towards the school building without even pausing to take his bag.
He could not understand. How did things happen like this? He was only gone for a month.
How could there be an illicit affair with Zhang Zhengxin? It’s impossible.
He stopped at the door of Class 4 and shouted, “Where’s Xu Qichen!?”
It was dinner time. There were only a few students in the class, and none of them responded. Everyone looked at him in silence like he was a monster.
“Are you all mute? Where’s Xu Qichen!?”
Finally someone said, “He didn’t come to school today…”
Xia Zhixu leaned against the door of Class 4, panting heavily. He looked at the people in this class coldly, without saying a word he left the fifth floor.
The late autumn wind against his face was as cutting as a thin blade.
When Chen Fang saw Xia Zhixu returning, he immediately welcomed him and said, “Zhixu, you’re back.” He saw Xia Zhixu’s expression and spoke cautiously, “Have you heard about…”
“How did this happen?” Xia Zhixu’s expression was full of doubt and pain, “I only left for a few days…”
Chen Fang thought he was shocked by Xu Qichen’s sexual orientation, “I was also surprised that he likes… Nevermind, let’s not talk about that.”
“Why not?” Xia Zhixu was anxious to know the truth. “What about Xia Xiqing? Where is he?”
“Ugh, don’t mention that. Xia Xiqing got into a fight with someone in his class over this. Director Wang called his father to take him home.” Chen Fang sighed, “He’s getting a beating for sure. You know how his father is.”
Xia Zhixu’s mind was particularly disorganized, his thoughts scattered. He wanted to delete that post and expose every person who sarcastically spread rumours in the comments, but there was nothing he could do.
He could scarcely imagine how Xu Qichen had gone through this past month.
“Oi! Where are you going?”
“Looking for Xu Qichen.”
Chen Fang grabbed his arm, “Don’t. They said Director Wang is going to his place today. You’ll only run into him and make more trouble. I know you’re very close and Xu Qichen isn’t that kind of person. But calm down. Xia Xiqing already got into trouble defending him. He wouldn’t want to drag you into this.”
As the two were talking, one of their classmates, Li Ming, said, “Hey, you’re still so concerned about your ‘good friend’. Be careful, what if he gets attached to you?”
The words ‘good friend’ were heavily emphasised.
Xia Zhixu saw red. He grabbed the chair beside him but was grabbed by Chen Fang, “Oi! Don’t! Calm down! Li Ming, shut the fuck up! Are you sick?”
The people in the class were all hiding far away. Xia Zhixu was like a wild beast on the brink of madness, with his chest heaving violently, glaring fiercely at Li Ming.
He was on the verge of a breakdown.
Xia Zhixu finally put down the chair.
He did not want to stay here a moment longer.
Silently leaving the classroom, he took the same bus 729 that they took together every day and returned to the bus stop across from his home.
When Director Wang showed up, Xu Qichen was alone at home.
He had not lied and taken leave to escape reality. He was really sick.
Director Wang’s gaze at him was very complicated. Xu Qichen understood that. In his eyes, he was originally considered a good student who could bring glory to Jingjian. However, this month, everything changed. He had brought chaos to Jingjian and became everyone’s topic of gossip.
“Director Wang, have some water.” Xu Qichen gave him a glass of warm water and took a seat opposite him.
“Xu Qichen, I know you’re a good child.” Director Wang put the glass on the table. “I know those rumours are just rubbish and there’s nothing between you and Teacher Zhang.”
Xu Qichen licked his lower lip, which had become dry due to his low fever, and spoke hoarsely, “Director, Teacher Zhang is innocent. Please don’t punish him. He really didn’t do anything.”
Director Wang sighed and said, “You know, this matter has a very negative impact on our school. The whole school is discussing this matter now. It has also involved many people, such as Xia Xiqing in your class, who could have been a bonus point student. Now, due to the fight, the principal said he must be punished, and we can’t give him bonus points for his awards anymore.”
He understood Director Wang’s meaning. He was not actually talking about Xia Xiqing, but about Xu Qichen.
“You see, there is one recommended spot for each of the humanities and sciences. Xia Zhixu just participated in the training, and the recommendation for the sciences has basically been settled. In the humanities, whether we look at awards or regular grades, you are the first choice. Originally…”
Upon hearing the name Xia Zhixu from Director Wang’s mouth, Xu Qichen began to experience ringing in his ears. He couldn’t hear anything clearly after that, only feeling a dull pain in his chest.
He recalled Xia Zhixu smiling happily, talking about the major he wanted to study in the future and what kind of person he wanted to become.
Fear began to gradually erode Xu Qichen’s will.
He was afraid. If the situation continued to worsen, would it eventually involve Xia Zhixu?
Would they throw Xia Zhixu down together with him?
They would. Everyone knew how close they were.
He hardly remembered how he saw Director Wang out, nor how long he sat groggily by the bed after returning to his room.
When the four-day fever finally subsided, he walked out of the house.
It was another rainy day, and he walked alone to the bus stop, holding an umbrella. He had originally wanted to go back to school, but found a familiar figure standing next to the station, supporting a black bicycle he had only seen once.
“Xu Qichen?”
Xia Zhixu could hardly believe his eyes. Since the day he returned, he had been waiting here every morning, hoping to see him. But when he finally did, he thought he was hallucinating.
The person before him had lost so much weight. The late autumn rain was like needles piercing through Xia Zhixu’s body.
The black umbrella covered Xu Qichen, his footsteps seemed to be very weak, stepping on the ground without any sound.
Xia Zhixu threw down his bicycle and walked up to him. He had many things he wanted to say to him, but they all choked up in his throat. In the end, he could only ask with difficulty, “Are you okay?”
Xu Qichen looked up at him, his amber eyes were very dark, just like the sky now.
“I know those are nothing but rumours. I know you and Teacher Zhang…”
He flinched as if he was stabbed. Then he spoke hoarsely, “No, there’s nothing between him and me.”
The sound of rain mixed with his voice, making Xia Zhixu’s heart shiver.
“I know…”
“He’s just chasing my aunt. I explained it, but nobody believed me.” His hands were gripping the umbrella tightly.
Now, more than ever, Xia Zhixu wanted to hug him. “I believe you. I believe everything you say.”
As soon as he reached out his hand, Xu Qichen took a step back, huddled in the corner like a tormented stray cat.
Xia Zhixu’s hand trembled before finally retracting, his voice hoarse, “Even if you’re really…”
“I’m not,” Xu Qichen lowered his head, mumbling to himself. “I’m not, I’m not,” he kept repeating, as if trying to convince himself. Then he looked up and met Xia Zhixu’s eyes, “I’m not gay, I’m not.”
Xia Zhixu choked and looked at his red eyes, nodding with difficulty. “I know, don’t be scared, I believe in you…”
A bus passed by, and Xu Qichen seemed like a drowning person who had been struggling for a long time, who finally found a piece of driftwood. He didn’t even look at which bus it was before running over directly.
When the doors open, Xia Zhixu felt panic. He followed behind Xu Qichen to ask, “I believe you. Are we still friends?”
Xu Qichen did not even look up as he boarded the bus. “I don’t want to be friends with you anymore. I have no friends.”
Xia Zhixu was frozen in front of the bus door, unable to move.
Only when the moment the door closed did his soul, which had escaped from his body, finally return. He picked up the bicycle he had thrown on the ground and rode it frantically after the bus, and the fleeing Xu Qichen.
“I don’t agree! Xu Qichen! I refuse!”
He shouted at the top of his lungs, “You said we’ll always be friends! You said it!”
“I believe you! I’ll believe everything you say! Stop!”
The rain soaked through his coat and sweater, as well as his crazed heart. The people coming and going on the street were all looking sideways, as if he was a clown for their amusement.
The bus went further and further, eventually shrinking into a tiny spot of light in the gray rain curtain and disappearing from view.
Xia Zhixu finally stopped at the traffic lights. He threw his bike aside, and the rain mixed with tears poured uncontrollably down his face.
He looked down, mumbling to himself, “What did I do wrong? Tell me… why did things happen like this…”
He kicked the fence next to him, venting all his emotions.
“Who wants to be your friend? Who wants to be your goddamned friend!”
Only when he had exhausted himself did he slowly squat down.
“I don’t want to be your friend…”
If he had known, he would never have been his friend.
Xia Zhixu, who had been on sick leave for a day, returned to the classroom expressionlessly during evening self-study silently, and lowered his head to do exercises.
It was not until after class that Chen Fang cautiously told him.
Xu Qichen had transferred.
Xia Zhixu seemed to have taken it as expected. He didn’t show any emotional fluctuations or care where he transferred to. He just replied lightly, “Good.”
Good.
For many days afterwards, he was very calm, as if the name Xu Qichen had never appeared in his life. He was still the little sun that everyone envied and admired.
Even Chen Fang thought he had got over him.
Until the end of the semester, when the two of them, who had just come out of the office, came across a group of boys from Class 4 in the hallway.
They heard one of the boys say, “Damn it, when will this punishment end? That damned gay already left on his own, damn it…”
Before he could finish speaking, Xia Zhixu threw a stack of math exercise books in his hand onto the ground, pressed the boy against the railing in the hallway, and beat him violently. Without saying a word, he punched him repeatedly in a muffled voice, holding him down until he was lying on the ground vomiting blood.
No one was able to stop him.
As expected, Xia Zhixu was called to the teaching office, along with the boy after he was discharged from the hospital, and the parents of both parties.
Director Wang did not want to punish him, after all, he had rare potential. He worked hard to mediate in the middle and finally convinced the other party’s parents to choose a private mediation method, asking Xia Zhixu to apologize in person to the boy who was beaten.
“I won’t apologise.” No matter what Director Wang said, Xia Zhixu simply replied like this.
“Zhixu… Why are you…”
“Is this the kind of student your school produces? You call this your model student? What rubbish morals!”
Director Wang was getting anxious, “Xia Zhixu! Will you only be satisfied if you force us to rescind your recommendation!?”
Xia Zhixu looked up at Director Wang with a calm tone and said, “Just do it. I don’t need your recommendation to get into T University. I can do it myself.”
Then he turned and looked at that boy.
“And you, if I hear you talk about him again, I’ll beat you up again. Every time, until you remember.”
Then he left the office.
Xia Zhixu’s recommendation was removed, and that was the end of it.
He found it ironic that even though Xu Qichen had already left, he kept looking for information about Xu Qichen over and over again, wanting to know where he would go to study and where he would apply. The closer he got to the college entrance examination, the more anxious he felt.
But he forgot that the only connection between Xu Qichen and this world was not only himself.
The day he reported to T University, as he stood before the school gates, he received a message from Xia Xiqing.
[Xu Qichen stayed in the city, he’s in W University. He wants me to tell you: Congratulations.]
Is this really the end???? Or just the end of the flashbacks 😢😢
Just the end of flashbacks!
…..ah those damn brats …i wanna go beat the crap out of them even though its already gone …
…i feel really sad for qichen to have gone through all that ….
..hah….people don’t know that their words hurt the person more than they think …[.sometimes I actually want them to experience this situation themself so that they can understand it..]..]just kidding]
ahhh thanks for the chapter….😘😍
I remember xu qinchen is same university as in lele and song yu from lovely allergen
People are scary, human minds are scary. the audacity to say that i don’t approve of that person being gay is really shameless, that’s pull of bullshit coz who cares about their opinion? I’m so angry. I remember my classmates, schoolmates and even friends who talks about this in person I wanna shut them all up. Coz who cares about their opinions and approval? It’s none of their business!