Wen Xin called Guo Xiaoli, and in an excited tone, she said, “Tang Zhen Laoshi is in such a great state today. It feels like going back several years.”
Guo Xiaoli didn’t quite believe it and thought that Wen Xin’s excitement didn’t seem fake. She replied, “I’ll believe it when I see the footage. Don’t linger outside, quickly send A-zhen home.”
Wen Xin said, “I’m actually walking back with Chang-jie. She wants to ride with us. Qi Lu is accompanying Tang Zhen Laoshi to the restroom. We’ll all go back together later.”
After hanging up the phone, Wen Xin opened her phone and browsed through Weibo. She suddenly noticed that the photo Liang Qiuyun had posted before recording the show had made it to the hot topics of today’s Weibo. Wen Xin frowned and quickly tapped on the comments of that post. In the popular comments, fans were expressing their emotions, such as how Liang Qiuyun looked at A-zhen with serious and caring eyes, how they were lifelong friends or an old married couple, how Liang Qiuyun never abandoned A-zhen, how lucky A-zhen was, and even speculating that Tangtang must have pretended to sleep in front of the mirror and saw Liang Qiuyun stealing glances at him.
Some people also criticized Liang Qiuyun, accusing him of urgently “showing off affection” because he had “realized the value after losing it.”
There were even comments written in Tang Zhen’s voice, saying why he came to record “Roman Online” right after getting discharged from the hospital, because “even if I let go of my life, I can’t let go of Liang Qiuyun.”
Chang Daiyu looked at Wen Xin with a face that seemed like she had eaten bullshit and asked her what was wrong.
Wen Xin asked why there were always fans who arrogantly wrote sour comments, acting like they knew the whole truth about Tang Zhen Laoshi.
Chang Daiyu said, “That’s just the way your Tang Zhen Laoshi is.”
Wen Xin didn’t understand. She opened the car door and got in with Chang Daiyu. Chang Daiyu had known Tang Zhen four or five years longer than Wen Xin, and now she said, “Tang Zhen gives people a certain impression, making them feel like he knows nothing, making everyone think they’ve figured him out.”
Wen Xin was stunned, still not understanding.
“People like him are especially good at triggering maternal instincts in others, don’t you think?” Chang Daiyu said.
Wen Xin still had a bewildered expression on her face.
Chang Daiyu shook her head and said helplessly, “Wen Xin, do you think you really understand Tang Zhen?”
Wen Xin paused for a moment and nodded, saying, “Of course, I’ve been his assistant for so many years.”
“I knew it!” Chang Daiyu said.
Wen Xin hurriedly said, “But, but I am his assistant! If I don’t understand him, then I’m not suitable for the job!”
Chang Daiyu smiled at her, as if she was looking at a little fool. Wen Xin continued to mutter to herself, “Tang Zhen Laoshi always praises me, saying I’m attentive and understanding…”
Tang Zhen didn’t vomit much, mostly some sour liquid. Qi Lu was waiting behind him, holding his coat, until Tang Zhen washed his face with cold water. Only then did they slowly walk back. Qi Lu helped him put on his coat, and Tang Zhen lowered his head, his steps a bit unsteady. Qi Lu could tell that the one-hour recording session was already Tang Zhen’s limit.
They got into the car, and Tang Zhen turned around to exchange a few words with Chang Daiyu before curling up in the passenger seat and falling asleep. Chang Daiyu didn’t force him to chat either because, as fellow artists, she understood how common it was to experience extreme states both on and off stage.
However, before leaving, she woke Tang Zhen up. She stood outside the window holding an umbrella, and when Tang Zhen rolled down the car window, she looked at him and said, “Silly boy, my uncle had the same illness as you.”
Tang Zhen looked at her in a daze.
“Perhaps I know what you’re thinking,” Chang Daiyu said, and suddenly reached out to touch Tang Zhen’s face. Tang Zhen watched as her hand reached towards him but didn’t move away. Chang Daiyu looked at him with a pained expression and said, “I hope we can meet again in the future.”
Tang Zhen paused for a moment and waved his hand towards Chang Daiyu outside the window.
It was raining heavily outside, but luckily the car went directly into the underground garage, so Tang Zhen’s shoes didn’t touch the rainwater. He exited the elevator and walked to his front door, reaching out to grasp the doorknob. With a “click,” the door opened.
Wen Xin received a phone call outside the door, her voice anxious. Before she could say much, her tone suddenly escalated, “I-I haven’t seen him today. What happened to him?”
Tang Zhen walked through the foyer, stepping on the water droplets on the floor. He heard Wen Xin becoming increasingly anxious in the hallway, almost on the verge of tears, “At this hour, where can Zike go?”
Tang Zhen entered the bedroom and struggled to take off his coat, turning on the lights.
Zhou Zike was sitting right in front of him, a tall and sturdy figure. From head to toe, he was soaked, with a swollen bruise on the corner of his mouth, reeking of alcohol. The window was open, letting the wind blow in, and Zhou Zike’s lifeless eyes were fixed on Tang Zhen.
Tang Zhen’s breathing was slightly unstable, but his face remained expressionless. Someone quietly closed the door behind him, and Tang Zhen turned around, about to call out to Qi Lu, when Zhou Zike suddenly pulled him closer, embracing him tightly.
Tang Zhen’s knees weakened, and Zhou Zike held him tightly, guiding Tang Zhen to sit on his lap. Tang Zhen lifted his head to look into Zhou Zike’s eyes. Zhou Zike’s face was covered in rainwater, his head bowed, his wet eyes bloodshot, and even his long eyelashes were soaked by the rain.
“Why didn’t you answer my call?” Zhou Zike asked softly.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
Tang Zhen stood still, stunned.
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He heard Xiao Zhou’s distressed voice near his ear, “You still don’t want to see me?”
“Have you been drinking?” Tang Zhen looked up at him.
Zhou Zike paused for a moment and asked, “You care whether I drink or not?”
Tang Zhen closed his mouth.
Zhou Zike stared at him, “Why don’t you tell me the truth?”
Tang Zhen remained silent.
“You remember,” Zhou Zike said, holding Tang Zhen tightly around the waist, as if he needed to do so in order to prevent Tang Zhen from repeating his old tricks, from easily evading him again, evading his questions. He held Tang Zhen’s right hand, clasping it in his palm, and said, “You came to look for me, so why do you say you forgot?”
Tang Zhen said, “Xiao Zhou, I don’t know…”
“You know,” Zhou Zike said. “How did you answer Xiao Yang?”
Tang Zhen lowered his head, his face pale, using a breathy voice to cover up, “Xiao Yang…”
Zhou Zike lowered his eyes, looking at him, watching his every move.
“He said I scared him,” Tang Zhen spoke as if in a dream.
“I apologized to him,” Tang Zhen told Zhou Zike, “even though I don’t remember any of it…”
“That’s right,” Zhou Zike’s face was filled with disappointment, his tone blunt. “So why did you still ask him to keep it a secret from Guo-jie?”
Tang Zhen remained silent.
Zhou Zike looked at him for a while, then lowered his head, rubbing Tang Zhen’s hand in his palm unhappily. Tang Zhen’s fingers were slender, ice-cold, with nails cut unusually short, looking unsightly. Zhou Zike touched his hand back and forth, from fingertips to the palm, then to the back of the hand. He closed his palm, enveloping Tang Zhen’s hand inside.
“Why aren’t you speaking?” Zhou Zike asked him.
Tang Zhen’s eyes welled up with heat, feeling Zhou Zike’s scorching breath close to his cheek.
“Say something.”
Tang Zhen regained his composure once again, as if a failed host, trying to find his rhythm. He forced out a smile and said, “Xiao Zhou, I just…”
“Just what?” Zhou Zike interrupted him.
Tang Zhen stammered, his lips extremely dry.
He gave up.
Zhou Zike’s hand was also cold, passing through Tang Zhen’s hair that covered his face like a stream flowing through. Seeing Tang Zhen remain silent again, Zhou Zike answered for him, “You just think that I won’t force you, right?”
“…”
“You know I can’t force you when you’re sick.”
Zhou Zike’s words were light, but they were spoken through gritted teeth, and he struggled to conceal his emotions.
Tang Zhen fell silent, motionless like the storm outside.
“Guo Xiaoli knows,” Zhou Zike suddenly said.
Tang Zhen listened.
“I waited for you for five days,” Zhou Zike looked at him, murmuring softly, “I’ve had enough. Whether it’s her or you, I don’t want anything else, Tang Zhen. Give me an honest answer.”
Tang Zhen’s calm demeanor seemed almost unreal. He kept his gaze lowered in Zhou Zike’s embrace, and upon hearing Zhou Zike’s words, even his breath halted.
“Did you come to look for me?” Zhou Zike said.
Tang Zhen remained silent, and Zhou Zike lifted Tang Zhen’s almost numb face by supporting his neck.
Tang Zhen opened his eyes, so close, looking at him, and any slight movement from Tang Zhen couldn’t escape Zhou Zike’s gaze.
But in those almost withered eyes, Zhou Zike couldn’t see anything.
“You came to look for me.” Zhou Zike’s voice was cold and indifferent, relentless in saying it, relentlessly pleading, “You came to look for me, didn’t you?”
“You told me that you came to look for me, to let me know that all these years… it wasn’t just my imagination.”
Zhou Zike had been drinking, gasping for breath after every sentence, with a breathy tone, domineering and intermittent. Every word and every sentence seemed filled with thorns, but it was unclear whether he intended to prick someone else or himself. He seemed genuinely exhausted, tired, with heavy rain and strong winds. He was drenched, freezing cold all over, his eyes icy, his hands icy, his heart icy. He stared blankly at Tang Zhen, and Tang Zhen looked back at him, still refusing to answer.
It was only when he rested his heavy forehead against Tang Zhen’s body.
“I’ve done wrong, I was wrong… You can be angry with me, scold me…” Zhou Zike murmured, his voice as soft as the sound of the wind. “Just say something to me…”
After a long while, Tang Zhen struggled to say, “Xiao Zhou, I’m not angry with you.”
During those few minutes, Tang Zhen felt Zhou Zike’s forehead burning hot against him, and even the arms that held him were trembling.
“I made you cry, why aren’t you angry?” Zhou Zike suddenly said.
Tang Zhen’s voice remained steady and sounded quite calm, but due to weakness, he lacked confidence. “Xiao Zhou, about what happened before, I… I always felt that we should find an opportunity to talk and clarify things.”
“I don’t want clarification,” Zhou Zike suddenly interjected.
Tang Zhen was taken aback, and he heard Zhou Zike’s breath against his shoulder, sounding like a mix of laughter and tears, filled with a sense of bitterness.
“You think I don’t know,” Zhou Zike muttered, “your ‘clarification’ …”
“…Once it’s said, I’ll have nothing left…”
His voice grew lower and lighter, the words fading into the wind. Despite Tang Zhen’s composure, his unwavering stance in the face of storm, he was starting to feel overwhelmed. Tang Zhen touched Zhou Zike’s forehead and ran his fingers through his soaking wet hair, which hung stiffly. Tang Zhen’s voice trembled as he said, “Xiao Zhou, you have a fever.”
“After being apart for a year, did you ever think of me for a single day?” Zhou Zike asked.
“When you made the decision to leave, Tang Zhen, did you think of me for even a second?”
Tang Zhen listened but remained silent. Zhou Zike had definitely had too much to drink. Normally, he kept everything hidden, wearing a cold expression, unwilling to say more than a few words, as if each additional word would be giving someone too much face. But now, he was speaking more and more, sentence after sentence, giving Tang Zhen a lot of face. It was so much that Zhou Zike himself seemed to be bordering on self-deprecation, as if he simply wanted to give Tang Zhen that kind of face, simply wanted to ask Tang Zhen those questions, without expecting even a single word of an answer from Tang Zhen. Or perhaps he knew very well that he wouldn’t get it.
Zhou Zike choked up, “Have you ever thought about what would happen if you died, and I…”
Tang Zhen said, “Xiao Zhou, it’s already in the past.”
Tang Zhen embraced Zhou Zike’s head, holding him like one would hold a distressed child or a little dog drenched in the rain. “It’s all in the past, don’t think too much about it.” Tang Zhen seemed to be speaking to the air.
Zhou Zike lifted his head, holding Tang Zhen even tighter.
Tang Zhen didn’t struggle much either. In Zhou Zike’s embrace, Tang Zhen tilted his head back, half-opening his eyes, because Zhou Zike lowered his head to kiss him.
Tang Zhen tasted bitter, most likely due to the alcohol on Zhou Zike’s lips. After kissing for a while, Zhou Zike hesitated and released him.
“It’s all in the past…” Zhou Zike murmured, repeating these words, as he looked at Tang Zhen’s face. “Good.”
Tang Zhen’s eyes suddenly welled up with tears. Zhou Zike looked at him silently for a while, holding his hand, and then lowered his head, pressing his cold, thin lips against Tang Zhen’s trembling eyelashes, kissing his closed eyes.
“I beg you…” Zhou Zike’s voice was completely hoarse when he spoke again, sounding unfamiliar. It was as if he had exhausted all his options, as if he had no way out. He kissed Tang Zhen’s forehead, ears, the tip of his nose, and the pale face that had lost its color. He kissed his mouth, where he struggled to draw in air. A-Zhen, he murmured as he kissed, I beg you.
Tang Zhen remained silent, his eyes shut tightly, his breathing becoming faster and his fingers trembling as they clenched tightly in his palm, a fact that Zhou Zike noticed.
Zhou Zike let go of him.
“I was wrong,” Zhou Zike suddenly said after a long pause.
Tang Zhen struggled to catch his breath, held tightly by Zhou Zike. Zhou Zike caressed his drooping nape and ran his fingers through his hair, as if trying to soothe him. “I won’t force you,” Zhou Zike said, almost as if he had been possessed by a strange force, uttering those words.
“It’s… too late,” Tang Zhen spoke up, his tone also sounding a bit off. He opened his eyes and stared blankly into the dark void behind Zhou Zike. “Xiao Zhou, go home.”
Zhou Zike fell silent for a moment and said, “Where do I have a home to go back to?”
Tang Zhen licked his lips and said, “Your sister, your father, they’re waiting for you at home…” His voice trembled, as if the turmoil had weakened him further. He gently urged, “Go home quickly.”
Zhou Zike lowered his head and said, “Can’t I consider this place as home?”
Tang Zhen choked up all of a sudden.
“But didn’t you promise me that before?” Zhou Zike’s voice was soft, but it carried a tone of crying.
“Xiao Zhou… what happened before…”
Zhou Zike shook his head. “I don’t want to hear it.”
Tang Zhen insisted, “Xiao Zhou…”
Zhou Zike looked up and said, “If you want me to go home, I’ll leave now.”
Tang Zhen seemed to have lost all strength to argue with him. He said, “Let me finish…”
Zhou Zike remained seated.
He stubbornly held onto Tang Zhen, stubbornly clutched his hand.
“Now that I’ve listened to you,” Zhou Zike seemed as if he couldn’t withstand the wind blowing against his back, “can I come to see you again in the future?”
Tang Zhen looked into his eyes, seeing all of his emotions.
Tang Zhen said, “Don’t come anymore.”
His voice was as delicate as gasomar, but his words were clear, summarizing thousands of words in one.
Zhou Zike suddenly asked, “Is Liang Qiuyun treating you well now?”
Tang Zhen stared at him, bewildered.
“He’s doing well,” Tang Zhen nodded.
Zhou Zike rubbed his nose and said, “Everyone seems to be doing well except me, right?”
Tang Zhen opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. After Zhou Zike finished speaking, he shook his head and fell silent.
“If you think it’s good, then it’s good,” Zhou Zike finally said.
He lowered his head to look at Tang Zhen, unwilling to let go of his hand. If you think it’s good, then it’s good. He repeated it again, looking into Tang Zhen’s eyes.
He seemed to be searching for something in Tang Zhen’s eyes, waiting for Tang Zhen to regret, waiting for Tang Zhen to say something to make him stay.
But Tang Zhen remained silent.
Zhou Zike gently cupped Tang Zhen’s face, and that cold touch lightly pressed against Tang Zhen’s forehead.
Before leaving, Zhou Zike closed the window behind him. His head was pounding from the alcohol, and he wanted the wind to wake him up. But when he became sober, he felt the chilling and bone-piercing coldness of the wind, devoid of any warmth. Tang Zhen was still sitting motionless by the bed. “I’m leaving,” Zhou Zike said to him, averting his gaze. “Get some rest.”
Qi Lu did not immediately come in. After Zhou Zike left, it took over half an hour before Qi Lu entered the room, carrying medicine and a glass of water. Tang Zhen sat on the edge of the bed, keeping his head down in that same position. Qi Lu crouched in front of him, but there was no response from Tang Zhen for a long time.
Tang Zhen seemed unable to see Qi Lu at all. He kept his head down, his eyes open, lips slightly parted, tears streaming down his face in large drops. He remained motionless, as if in a daze, without making a sound for such a long time.
Thank you for the translation 🩷