Translator: Abo Dammen
Editor: Ainden
Proofreader: Kuro
When Bai Tang woke up, there was complete silence and the sky beyond the window was pitch black. Two fists away, Jiang Yunshu lay supine on a different hospital bed, his back arched, one hand on his waist, and his forehead resting on his shoulders. With his eyes closed and his brows furrowed, he dozed off with his shoulders in a dependent position.
The alpha was dressed comfortably in his own clothes. Not long after Bai Tang dozed off, the doctor came to check on him, reassured him that everything was alright, and ‘took’ the bed next door back.
Lin Baizhou brought the clothing from their home. He also took the time to feed Heitang while he was there. Without batting an eye, Bai Tang turned to face the alpha for more than ten minutes.
Then, when he reached out to touch the alpha’s face, he felt a sharp pain in his right hand. He froze for a moment and shifted his gaze upwards.
He struggled to even bend his fingers because his right hand was so completely bandaged. He was a little dazed. He also had a wound on his right hand… Several scenes played out in his head all at once. The image was of him banging the back of his hand violently against the bedposts.
Bai Tang couldn’t remember the details.
He raised his left hand again. His left arm had a scar that started at the elbow and wound down to the wrist, which was also bandaged multiple times.
Bai Tang’s eyes flickered.
So disgusting.
After gazing at the lifeless white gauze for a time, Bai Tang burst out laughing, his eyes slightly squinting as he did so.
But it doesn’t matter, as long as Dr. Jiang is okay.
Everything bad that happens to him from here on out, including the injuries he will sustain in the future, should be his own to bear. Jiang Yunshu, please don’t spill any blood.
He extended his hand again, smoothing the alpha’s brows before returning his touch to the alpha’s hands and feet. It was not cold.
He slept for a good chunk of the day due to the sedatives, and it’s now three in the morning. Bai Tang didn’t feel sleepy now. He slowly rotated around and wrapped his arms around the alpha’s head to make it more comfortable for him to lean on.
Zhou Zhaoyu left the omega’s lounge at 6 in the morning and made his way to the hospital canteen without showing any emotion. “Auntie, two eggs, two meat wraps, a bowl of porridge, and a cup of soy milk.”
“Okay! The same packing as before, right?”
With a nod of approval, Zhou Zhaoyu modified his statement by saying “Let’s have three more that are exactly the same, and have them all packed up.”
At 6:10, he finished a bowl of porridge and an egg and was ready to draw the suitcase aside to depart after he effortlessly tucked the folder and breakfast inside Qin Zhongnan’s cabinet. He turned around to see the alpha, who at some point stood resting on the cabinet.
“You want to go by yourself again?” asked Qin Zhongnan.
Zhou Zhaoyu said, “Wherever there is. Why do you harbour this sort of resentment?”
“Then this is the second time?” Qin Zhongnan touched Zhou Zhaoyu’s face. “Did you not sleep again last night?”
“I slept.” The motionless Zhou Zhaoyu said, “I just didn’t sleep well.”
“Catch up on the plane later, you understand?” Qin Zhongnan embraced him.
Zhou Zhaoyu closed his eyes and said a “mhm” while pressing the tip of his nose into his shirt.
The voice of Qin Zhongnan rang in his ears from above, “Have you made up your mind?”
“Mhm,” Zhou Zhaoyu responded, “I’ve given the work to someone else and taken a two-month vacation. I must accept that I am no longer in a position where I can help others. Sorry.”
Qin Zhongnan said, “In fact, you can rest for one more day and prance around with me at home. I don’t see the hurry today, so why do you have to…”
“It’s okay.” Zhou Zhaoyu patted the alpha’s back with one hand, “I’m not that weak.”
Qin Zhongnan sighed, and earnestly said: “Then what do you want now? You can do anything.”
Zhou Zhaoyu was quiet for a few seconds, then compromised and said, “Give me some pheromone…”
Qin Zhongnan grinned, and pushed the person towards the dead corner of the surveillance in the stairwell, “Let’s go to our old place.”
Ten minutes later.
Qin Zhongnan, who had bullied his omega, felt refreshed. He opened his cabinet and a large breakfast bag fell off. He carried it to the inpatient department and saw from a distance that Jiang Yunshu had already woken up and was talking on the phone outside the door.
He waited until Jiang Yunshu hung up the phone before approaching, “Don’t tell me you’ve already started working.”
“No,” Jiang Yunshu said. “Didn’t you help me apply for early annual leave? It’s Jiang Jinsheng’s business. Because Bai Tang is not suitable for evidence collection now, it will be postponed for another two days.”
Qin Zhongnan didn’t ask any more questions, and lifted the plastic he was carrying. “Wanna eat breakfast? Go in? Or go to the rest area?”
Jiang Yunshu gently opened the door. Suddenly, his action stopped. He turned around, and spoke very quickly, “Wait! Ms. Jiang…”
Qin Zhongnan was taken aback; he placed his hand over his chest. “You scared me to death. Don’t worry, Zhaoyu arranged for someone to deliver the food that day.”
Jiang Yunshu breathed a sigh of relief, “Then come in and eat. It’s not safe to leave Bai Tang.”
The finest breakfast item at the Imperial Hospital canteen is meat buns, but the daily serving size is never sufficient, thus the only option was to arrive early. Therefore, Zhou Zhaoyu had been putting meat buns into Qin Zhongnan’s cabinet on a regular basis for the past two years.
After a moment of silent bun-eating between the two, Jiang Yunshu replied, “Actually, I have some psychological issues. I…”
The confession was welcomed news to Qin Zhongnan. Actually, he intended to ask Jiang Yunshu to fill out a survey. “Stop it, I’ll recommend a psychotherapist to you, you can tell them, not me. Given our newfound familiarity, it would be inappropriate for Zhaoyu to continue in his role as Bai Tang’s psychiatrist. Same goes for us both.”
Jiang Yunshu stopped speaking.
Qin Zhongnan bit down. “Actually, Bai Tang came to ask me about it two weeks ago.”
When Jiang Yunshu took a bite, the gravy spilled over. He turned around after hearing the words and repeated, “Bai Tang?”
“Mhm.” Says Qin Zhongnan “Bai Tang said that you never get good sleep and concentrate entirely on your work, but he was unable to go into further detail because it involves your privacy. Bai Tang probably didn’t give it much thought because he is not a psychiatrist. We were really busy during that period, and we didn’t meet, so I dare not draw any judgments. In other words, I failed in my responsibility to follow up on your problem in a timely manner. It wasn’t until I saw you the day before yesterday that I realised something was wrong with your mind, and I urged Bai Tang to convince you to see a doctor. Unexpectedly, something happened the next day.”
Jiang Yunshu glanced at Bai Tang, who was sleeping restlessly on the hospital bed, and said, “I’ve been very irresponsible in this regard.”
“Actually,” Qin Zhongnan continued, “perhaps you can rely on Bai Tang a little more. Take Zhou Zhaoyu and I as an example; he has always held the power between the two of us. His position is higher than mine in terms of work, which started me off on the right foot. His personality is more emotionally robust than mine, and he frequently offers guidance when I’m confused. However, because I rely on him more than he does on me, this type of relationship is ultimately very harmful to the connection between partners. Zhou Zhaoyu’s pressure has been amplified by the accumulation of illusions fostered by this sort of relationship. He must handle everything on his own and cannot make mistakes because if he did, no one would be there to put out the fire.”
Jiang Yunshu paid close attention.
The cycle of Qin Zhongnan continued, and Jiang Yunshu gradually began to understand what he was saying when he said, “You and Bai Tang are the same. You’ll start feeling tense and start routinely digesting everything by yourself, much like Zhou Zhaoyu. Like me, Bai Tang will grow increasingly unhappy as he feels helpless to do anything but watch his lover wear out day by day. But Zhou Zhaoyu will listen because I am an alpha and our jobs are similar. A lot has changed for him. If Bai Tang asked you, would you listen?”
Jiang Yunshu remained quiet.
“Has Bai Tang ever asked you if he can help with some work?”
Jiang Yunshu started to speak. “Yes, several times each night.”
“It turns out that you’re very dependable when you’re not playing about,” he added after listening for a moment before becoming silent.
Qin Zhongnan’s playful smile froze, his gold-rimmed spectacles chain dangled, and he replied fiercely, “I take back that long heart-to-heart discussion. For you, I even told you the fact that I’m not the dominant in this relationship.”
Jiang Yunshu remarked, “You don’t need to mention it. Anyone can tell if they have eyes.”
Zhongnan Qin, “Tsk. Try really hard to learn what Bai Tang is capable of at work. Give him a little more credit even if he’s so much younger than you and probably can’t be of much assistance right now. Bai Tang put together the previous data for the organisation, right? Additionally, Secretary Feng noted how well-organised it was.”
First love of Jiang Yunshu paid off in spades.
“You can also be a bit presumptive emotionally. For instance… Well, when you’re tired, if you want to inhale pheromones, you can pick them up and throw them on the bed to inhale them; no matter what he is doing, you don’t have to be so considerate of the other party. It’s okay to be self-willed occasionally, so that the other party will feel that you need him, and you’ll be much more relaxed.”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
Be presumptuous…Jiang Yunshu repeated in his heart.
Hlc Itbcucjc, “Pa ibbxr ilxf sbe tjnf j “wlcv lr kliilcu yea atf oifrt lr kfjx” rlaejalbc ublcu atfgf.”
Aljcu Tecrte rjlv, “P klii ags.”
“Lbkfnfg,” Hlc Itbcucjc rjlv, “Po sbe ilrafc, P’w cba ubccj yf kbgglfv. Coafg jii, Djl Kjcu tjr yfaafg qjalfcmf atjc wf, jcv tf kbc’a yftjnf ilxf wf lc rbwf fzagfwf kjsr.”
Jiang Yunshu glanced at him suspiciously: “What kind of extreme behaviour?”
Qin Zhongnan gave him a nonchalant glance, and said coolly, “What kind of extreme behaviour can happen between lovers?”
When Jiang Yunshu finally came to, images flashed before his eyes extremely quickly and without hesitation: he didn’t listen, and Bai Tang pressed him down on the bed in a frenzy of rage. His handsome features grew quickly larger as he bit his lips cowardly and fiercely, acting bravely while speaking in a quavering voice. “Are you still listening…”
He coughed and stopped his thoughts.
Jiang Yunshu had a thought: “By the way, Bai Tang said Jiang Yunsu was back. While he was unconscious, he held his hand, opened his eyes and stared at him.”
Qin Zhongnan was rather taken aback. “He said that?”
“Mhm.” Jiang Yunshu said, “Did he have hallucinations because he was under stress at that time?”
“There are two scenarios: the first is that he did have hallucinations, and the second is that you did hold his hand.” Qin Zhongnan stroked his chin with his fingers as he thought about it. “90% of the examples, in my brief consideration, are the second. Even though your passing out in front of him is enough to stress him out, Bai Tang’s situation is improving every day and won’t immediately lead to suicide. You have, after all, already subdued the terror that Jiang Yunsu brought, as I already stated. It’s logical that there would have been a significant shift in stimuli sometime in the middle that prompted him to try to kill himself.”
“Then how should I explain it to him?” Jiang Yunshu said, “I didn’t know I held his hand.”
Qin Zhongnan became serious. “Are you sure it isn’t really Jiang Yunsu?”
“I’m sure,” Jiang Yunshu said. “He’s dead, and he won’t come back.”
Qin Zhongnan said, “Then I suggest that you tell Bai Tang that you were conscious at that time, and it was you who held his hand.”
🍬 —🕊— 🍀
In a daze, Bai Tang always felt that something was messing with his stomach, licking and biting for a long time. He furrowed his brow for a moment and opened his eyes.
He saw his clothes being lifted, blankets piled up around him, and the alpha’s head buried in his belly.
Bai Tang blinked his eyes in a daze, and then a burst of blood surged up, causing his neck to turn red.
This is how it is. Even though the meat, buns and eggs were stored in Jiang Yunshu’s pocket, it was winter, so it went cold after a while. He decided to wake Bai Tang up and feed them before retiring to bed.
After kissing the omega’s burning cheeks, he reached into the blanket and gently rubbed the omega’s smooth belly. “Bai Tang, wake up.”
It seemed that Bai Tang knew that the alpha was beside him, so he was soundly asleep.
Jiang Yunshu bit his belly, his features sank on the soft, delicate belly, and he agreed with what Qin Zhongnan said in a hushed voice, “It really helps me relax …”
Before, Bai Tang was not fully awake. His hand was on the alpha’s head when he inadvertently called out, “Yunshu.”
Jiang Yunshu was momentarily speechless. This was the first time Bai Tang had addressed him as Yunshu since the two had started dating. He gently took Bai Tang’s hand and repeatedly pressed his lips to the clean, white gauze, saying, “Hmm, it’s me.”
The alpha’s arms around his back helped Bai Tang sit up because both his hands were hurt and he was unable to utilise his own strength. “Why were you up so early?”
“I couldn’t fall asleep.”
Feeling revived, Bai Tang walked to the toilet to brush his teeth. Jiang Yunshu, who was standing behind him, pinched his chin up and kissed him before he could put the cup down.
Bai Tang pushed the back of his head against his tense shoulders while readjusting his neck. The alpha drew away the hem of his clothing once he felt the mixed temperature on his lips. The alpha then began to firmly rub the side of his waist.
Bai Tang obeyed and opened his mouth, his brilliant red tongue flickering. Why did he feel that the alpha…had become so active?
As soon as the kiss ended, Jiang Yunshu hugged the weak-legged omega, and kissed Bai Tang’s neck. “I’ll see a psychiatrist this afternoon. I’m sorry I made you worry for so long.”
Bai Tang could only shake his head while panting. Previous kisses from the alpha were soft, reserved, and lengthy, but this time they were passionate. His tongue was nearly bitten off, and his lips were scraped red…
Jiang Yunshu asked, “Do you hate it? What kind of kiss do you like?”
There was a square mirror in front of him. Bai Tang lowered his eyes and dared not look at it. He pursed his warm lips. “I don’t hate it, I like it…”
Jiang Yunshu was completely relieved. He tilted his head and kissed the tip of the red ear again and again, until the shoulders of the omega in his arms shrank, and he said, “Bai Tang, I will work as hard as you do to treat this, and I will pay attention to my body in the future. But you can’t hurt yourself casually next time, you understand?”
“I didn’t want to hurt myself, I want to live a long life with you!” Bai Tang felt aggrieved. “It’s Jiang Yunsu…!”
Jiang Yunshu’s heart warmed when he heard Bai Tang’s words.
“He’s gone, Bai Tang. He’s dead, he’s never coming back.” Immediately afterwards, he lied unnaturally, “I was the one who held your hand. I wanted you not to worry, but I passed out without holding on.”
Bai Tang’es eyes widened slightly. “Really?”
“Mhm. I swear,” Jiang Yunshu said, “I’m not actually dead until the doctor says I’m dead. Do you know what it means? Just in case something bad happens to me, like if I bleed a lot, lose consciousness, or lose my heartbeat and breathing, as long as the doctor doesn’t say I’m dead, I’m not, understand?”
Bai Tang had a nagging feeling that something was off with this rationale.
Jiang Yunshu smiled and said in a low voice, “I also want to live a long life with you, so don’t be afraid.”
Jiang Yunshu visited the psychology department in the afternoon. When he got outside, he met Zheng Ruyun who had just come out.
For a split second, they both stood still. Neither chose to speak.
Bai Tang noticed something was wrong and quickly arrived to help. “What’s wrong?”
Jiang Yunshu shook his head and said, “Then I’ll go down first.” He then seized Bai Tang’s hand.
Without saying anything, Zheng Ruyun set the apple puree in his palm on the cabinet.
“What’s the matter?” Bai Tang asked tentatively, “What happened between you two? Weren’t you very friendly before?”
Zheng Ruyun replied truthfully, “I almost punched him when he woke up for the second time.”
Bai Tang’s eyes suddenly widened. Startled, he restrained his might as he seized Zheng Ruyun’s coat. “You hit him?!”
“Almost,” Zheng Ruyun replied, “I’m sorry I was acting so impulsively at the moment. I had the thought that you like him and would be unhappy if I continued the battle at that point. At the end of our argument, I realised, he’s the one you like, and if I go on, you’ll be unhappy.”
Bai Tang was silent for a while.
Conflicts between boyfriends and friends should be mediated by him. He calmed down and asked, “Ruyun, can you tell me what happened?”
Zheng Ruyun briefly retold the story.
Bai Tang’s face began to furrow. “But actually, it’s not Dr. Jiang’s fault, it’s mine…”
“But if he didn’t faint, nothing would’ve happened to you.” Zheng Ruyun said. “Bai Tang, among the many people in that ward, only you lying on the next bed is my friend.”
Bai Tang was thinking about how to explain it. “But Dr. Jiang had too many things to do, and he didn’t want to faint. The main reason it happened is because I was frightened… I’m the problem.”
“But didn’t he die like this in his last life?” Zheng Ruyun said, “So he was unaware throughout his existence that something would occur sooner or later?”
“Perhaps Dr. Jiang plans to see a doctor after he finishes his work.” Bai Tang said suddenly, “It’s only possible to describe it as an accident!”
🍬 —🕊— 🍀
A kind-looking woman with a warm voice asked, “Mr. Jiang, due to an unexpected external situation, I already knew you would come,” after hearing Jiang Yunshu’s earlier tale. “So, if this unforeseen external circumstance did not occur, are you willing to find a subjective solution to the problem?”
Jiang Yunshu remained still for some time. “No.”
He was fully aware of his long-standing psychological issue from the previous world. He had no qualms about dying because he had no one to care for in his prior life. He even entertained the possibility that, after his passing, he could witness the couple’s somewhat depressed expression.
He is also aware that he would never find a life partner if Bai Tang weren’t in his life. In his final world, his life would consist solely of going to work, eating, using the loo and sleeping alone at night, like a robot’s. And then, inevitably, another death from overwork.
He might actually be freed from living after his unexpected death in this world, or he might travel to the third or fourth world, who knows? He would only appear to be a living dead in one world and still a living dead in the other, and he’d die similarly in the hundredth world.
He considered going to the doctor on his own in this life, but he was constantly thwarted by the circumstances. In his mind, he would go as soon as he finished working.
But he’ll never be done; after he wraps up “Jiang’s Father and Son,” there will be “Wang Father and Son” and “Li Father and Son,” respectively.
Shen Ting, the psychotherapist, is a female beta. She led Jiang Yunshu step-by-step, encouraging him to be completely honest.
After listening to the outline, Shen Ting understood that this was another child who had been abused by his parents.
Work can save Jiang Yunshu from having to face his inner loneliness and deprived childhood and adult life; secondly, work has also strengthened his long-held belief——no matter how hard he tries, it’d never be enough.
In addition to the heavy shackles put on him by his original family, Jiang Yunshu subconsciously believed that as long as he puts in enough time and energy, he will be able to prove that he is indeed a capable and valuable person. The same is true for feelings. As long as he does this, the people he cares about will love him.
Shen Ting is a good listener. She would tell Jiang Yunshu from time to time that it was very common and natural for him to feel like this, that it was his parents’ fault and has nothing to do with him.
🍬 —🕊— 🍀
Zheng Ruyun looked at Bai Tang like an idiot and said, “If an accident tells you when it will come, is that still an accident? What sort of accident is this, too? He was a doctor even in his past life, and he had an experience similar to this one. I’d be quite upset if you put your body through so much pain and ended yourself in the hospital…”
“The main thing is that Dr. Jiang didn’t want it either. It has already happened. It’s likely that he woke up feeling a great deal of sadness. Next time, he’ll pay attention. No one needs to bring it up again.” Bai Tang frowned. “And Dr. Jiang not only has to work, but he is also trying to help us omegas.”
Zheng Ruyun disagreed. “How can there be an alpha who wholeheartedly helps an omega? Omegas have to stand up by themselves…”
“It’s true.” Bai Tang said excitedly, “The 2nd Star’s Omega Assistance Foundation was established by them!”
“Wha…”
Zheng Ruyun felt as though he had suddenly heard something incredible and was unable to comprehend it. He struggled for a while before finally saying, “They established it…?”
“Mhm! To be precise, it was established by their organisation. There are a lot of powerful omegas and alphas involved. Dr. Jiang, Dr. Qin, Senior, and Dr. Lin are members, and I learned from Dr. Jiang that the foundation was approved at long last thanks to the addition of the name of Dr. Lin’s father by the person in charge.”
“Lin Baizhou is also a member?”
Zheng Ruyun’s face was dull. These words were on the tip of his tongue many times. He muttered, “I didn’t know… I didn’t know they did this.”
As an omega who has been working hard in society since he was 12 years old, he has met many alphas. Those who oppress omegas, those who didn’t care about an omega’s life, those who were indifferent, those who talk about respect and use the banner of helping omegas but profit from omegas. He has met countless types.
But he has never met anyone who treats an omega sincerely.
Between the ages of three and ten and seven, Zheng Ruyun lived next door to an alpha who occupied a small, rundown flat building. He remembered the alpha who loved his wife very, very much and afterwards cheated on others. Although he wasn’t cruel enough to send his wife to a breeding facility, she didn’t go back to that home either. 7 years, only for their relationship to end up like that.
Even an alpha who’d stand in line all night just to buy a CD his wife loved could cheat. Were there really good alphas in the world?
Is there really such an alpha? Zheng Ruyun was a little lost. “…I really didn’t know.”
🍬 —🕊— 🍀
Both of them were a little exhausted after two hours, but Shen Ting could tell that the patient in front of her had maintained all of his psychological fortifications against her, and from the information he had provided, she had deduced that Jiang Yunshu had something that might help him feel at ease. His lover.
“Mr. Jiang, will you let your lover participate in your follow-up treatment process?” Shen Ting chit-chatted after the meeting.
Jiang Yunshu acknowledged, “Yes.”
Shen Ting, “So, next time we meet, how about coming with him? The effect will be unexpectedly good.”
After a brief moment of shock, Jiang Yunshu responded, “Okay…let me ask him.”
Shen Ting smiled and said, “He will be with you.”
Jiang Yunshu left the psychiatric consulting room, carrying a stack of papers. He was slightly perspiring at his temples. He wanted nothing more than to return to the ward and take a deep breath of the omega’s pheromones right now.
He had nothing to do today. His workload was reduced by half by the organisation, and he wasn’t required to report for duty for a month. What would he do over the following 15 days?
Zheng Ruyun was still present in the ward and was slumped over on the sofa when Jiang Yunshu returned. Seeing him from the corner of his eye, he suddenly stood up and bowed neatly. “I’m sorry, I was wrong before, I didn’t know you guys are really helping omegas.”
Jiang Yunshu was quiet for a few seconds, and said, “No need, you also donated a lot of blood to save Bai Tang.”
Bai Tang twisted his head back and forth, his eyes widened. “Ruyun, you donated blood? Why didn’t anyone tell me! You…”
Zheng Ruyun said nonchalantly, “It’ll replenish soon.”
Jiang Yunshu’s expression was flat. “It will take at least two months for the amount of haemoglobin to return to the amount before you donated blood.”
Zheng Ruyun opened his mouth, swallowed the words he wanted to refute, and said, “Anyway, I’m really sorry, I shouldn’t have treated you that way, and also… Thank you for helping omegas, really.”
It made him change his views on the alphas a little. It turned out that there really were good alphas in the world, and it turned out that this society has not been completely swallowed by darkness.
After Zheng Ruyun left, Jiang Yunshu showed his tired face in front of Bai Tang. He hugged Bai Tang in his arms.
Bai Tang slowly released some pheromones, and kissed his alpha. “Is there anything I can do to help?”
The sweetness of condensed milk seemed to have tentacles, gently helping him straighten his tense nerves, Jiang Yunshu said, “Can you…”
After a pause, he changed his words. “I want you to accompany me to see a therapist.”
“Okay.” Bai Tang agreed quickly, and he followed the alpha’s back. “When should I leave? What should I prepare?”
Jiang Yunshu said, “Tomorrow, we will go home after the check-up.” Bai Tang will be discharged from the hospital tomorrow.
After hugging for a while, the two began to kiss stickily again.
“Dr. Jiang,” Bai Tang said hesitantly, “I want to help Ruyun… can I? In fact, his childhood was a bit dark, and his life is also very difficult now. He certainly wouldn’t go out and buy meat to replenish his body after having his blood drawn… So, can I?”
“I don’t hate him, you decide for yourself.” Jiang Yunshu could guess that something must have happened in Zheng Ruyun’s past. He never resented him anyway.
If possible, who wouldn’t want to live a wanton and beautiful life?
The next day, Bai Tang changed into his own clothes. He was wearing a khaki woollen coat, and he sat nervously beside Jiang Yunshu, looking at the psychotherapist in front of him who looked like a good friend.
Shen Ting smiled and said “don’t be nervous” and got into today’s topic. With just a few paragraphs, she planted a consciousness in Jiang Yunshu’s mind: Bai Tang is by your side, he will comfort you, so don’t be afraid.
Therapists generally guide victims through three stages—resentment, grief, and release. It takes as little as a month to complete this entire process, or it could take even decades.
Most adults who have experienced trauma go through phases of melancholy, isolation, and distress. Sadness is a familiar emotion. Resentment is not. They frequently make an effort to go past their resentment as rapidly as possible to their grief.
But it would be wrong to do so. Grudges come before weeping.
But it goes without saying that it is impossible to totally separate intense emotions. Resentment has elements of sadness, while melancholy has elements of resentment. But in terms of this therapeutic practice, they stand for various stages of treatment.
Under Shen Ting’s guidance, Jiang Yunshu gradually vented his dissatisfaction with his parents, his deep voice contained puzzled anger, “Obviously their parents didn’t teach them this way, why did they treat me like this? Work will always take precedence over me, so why give birth to me?”
Bai Tang held the alpha’s hand tightly.
Jiang Yunshu paused.
His despair and wrath persisted for a while, and his mood continued to fluctuate. “When I do something around the house, my palms will be smacked on a table several times. 10 times for insignificant matters, 20 times for modest matters, and 50–200 times for major matters, depending on the gravity.”
“In a cold, impersonal room, the palm of the hand hurts the most when the ruler is slammed down on it. The pain would then creep in my brain, heart, and finally the ruler itself.”
Jiang Yunshu’s tears fell unexpectedly and hit the fabric. “Even a ruler would hurt, but they don’t.”
When Shen Ting heard that, her heart was a little bit constricted, and when she saw the alpha crying, she believed that it was almost over. Most people weep when they first arrive for a consultation, and by the time they leave, the majority of them are able to hold very solid conversations.
Suddenly, a trembling voice sounded in the quiet treatment room: “I will be hurt too.”
Shen Ting looked over.
Jiang Yunshu had been struggling to suppress the soreness in his nasal cavity. He suddenly raised his head and saw that Bai Tang’s eyes were red. Bai Tang spoke in a trembling voice, “It’s okay, we don’t need them to love you. I will love you just fine.”
Bai Tang’s words broke Jiang Yunshu’s emotions completely. He didn’t want outsiders to see him crying, so he hugged Bai Tang vigorously and buried his face on the omega’s thin shoulder.
The resentments that had been hidden in his heart for 31 years were finally let out now, ranging from sporadic crying to breaking into tears.
Bai Tang caressed the alpha’s back again and again, repeating, “It’s their fault, our Yunshu is so awesome. It’s because they are not worthy…”
In his blurred vision, Bai Tang saw Shen Ting giving him an encouraging smile.
The couple in front of her had a very good relationship. Shen Ting reasoned, although the omega appears to be very dependent on the alpha, there are many indicators that point to the omega being the causal factor in the alpha’s emotional state.
The alpha hid his face and refused to lift it fifteen minutes later. Shen Ting thought about his situation and spoke to him cautiously to enlighten him.
After Jiang Yunshu had calmed down for thirty minutes, Shen Ting stated, “Our first step is to conquer the fear of addressing your parents since we know that your parents are the source of everything. However, Mr. Jiang, because you stated that your parents are deceased, we can try a different strategy—writing letters.”
“It mainly covers four points: 1. This is what you did to me, 2. This is how I felt at the time, 3. This is how it affected my life, 4. This is what I want from you now. “
Shen Ting gazed at the two people who were buried in each other, feeling amused and soothed; even the unpleasant mood she had just empathised with was better. “Then, I’ll go outside first, both of you calm down,” she said. “We’ll meet up again in two days.”
Bai Tang sniffed and raised his face. He saw that Jiang Yunshu’s coat was wet a lot, and there was some shiny snot… He felt bad and wiped it with a tissue.
With a raspy voice, Jiang Yunshu asked, “Can you turn your face away first?”
Bai Tang asked, “Why?”
Jiang Yunshu continued to keep his head lowered, saying, “It’s embarrassing…I look awful after crying.”
Bai Tang couldn’t contain his laughter. “Pfft. Are you referring to me?”
Jiang Yunshu sighed, and raised his face resignedly. “You look good, but I don’t.”
Bai Tang looked at the alpha. Nothing changed at all, only a few red eyes and a few indentations on his gorgeous face. “It’s a lie… Why aren’t your eyes puffy despite your good looks?”
Jiang Yunshu cleaned himself up, fixed Bai Tang’s hand, and started using a tissue to clean the shoulders of Bai Tang’s coat.
After a brief moment of shock, Bai Tang started laughing so hard that he ended up with his back bowed and his head resting on the alpha’s chest. His smile grew larger and was impossible to contain as he recalled the recent scene in which the two of them shrank like quails.
He thought that the therapist must have felt very speechless.
Jiang Yunshu’s face was expressionless at first, but eventually became infected by Bai Tang’s emotions, causing the corners of his mouth to tick.
The omega laughed for a while before stopping, but the two of them didn’t let go. They just cuddled and hugged each other.
After a while, Jiang Yunshu heard the omega whispering in his ear, “Dr. Jiang, if you can’t make up your mind to take care of your body for yourself, then consider doing it for me, okay?”
Without pausing, he answered seriously, “Okay.”
In the afternoon, the scorching sunlight penetrated the car bit by bit. Bai Tang rested his hands weakly on his knees. Looking at the gradually familiar scenery outside the car, his heart jumped for joy.
Because he was recovering and because he must firmly accompany Jiang Yunshu, Bai Tang also took 15 days off.
After a long absence, the two moved back to that small villa, together with Jiang Ruanjia.
The grass in the garden had grown as high as Bai Tang’s calf.
As soon as Heitang entered the door, it was like a mad dog out of prison, rolling and splashing on the grass, knocking down many things.
What Jiang Yunshu didn’t expect was that there were a lot of couriers piled up outside the iron gate, all of which were very large packages.
Jiang Yunshu and the packages looked at each other. “?”
Bai Tang was a little embarrassed. “Actually, I bought it…I did a lot of homework.”
He jumped out of the car, ran into the garden, turned around and opened his arms. His face was dyed with golden light, he bent his eyes, and smiled at his alpha, “Didn’t you ask before if I want to renovate the garden? Let’s do it together!”
On the other side, Lin Baizhou was suddenly asked out by Zheng Ruyun.
Since the last quarrel, the two have not spoken again.
The two sat face to face without saying a word.
After a while, Zheng Ruyun said, “I’m sorry.”
Lin Baizhou was startled, but still didn’t feel like talking.
“Before, I didn’t know that you were helping omegas, so I held a prejudice against you, but…” Zheng Ruyun’s face was blank, “But how could there be an alpha who’d help an omega?”
Lin Baizhou put down his arms, sighed, and said, “Very rarely, but they exist.”
Zheng Ruyun’s gaze was fixed on Lin Baizhou’s arm covered by his clothes. After looking at it for a long time, he said again, “…I’m sorry.”
“I went to join the company yesterday, and I…” He wanted to say something more, but he closed his mouth. In the end, he just took out a bunch of things from the bag and pushed them in front of Lin Baizhou. “Although there is only 40,000 yuan here, I’ve saved them for ten years… I have really saved as much as possible.”
Lin Baizhou became angry again and yelled, “Who the hell wants your money?”
“But,” Zheng Ruyun said, “this is the only thing I can give.”
Lin Baizhou didn’t know what mood he was in, he said bluntly, “Fuck, no need, it’s really easy for an alpha to earn.”
If these words had been spoken in more regular circumstances, Zheng Ruyun would have erupted long ago. Instead, he remained mute for a while, and the only thought that crossed his head was of himself as a young child, half covered in blood and running to the hospital. He asked, “Have you always been so enthusiastic to others? Why? Because I am miserable?”
Lin Baizhou said, “Who will believe you if you’re not miserable…I have to say, I felt a lot of sympathy for you. At that time, I just wanted to help if I could, and it was within my ability.”
Once more, Zheng Ruyun ceased speaking, but Lin Baizhou continued to babble. “What’s the issue? Can’t an alpha be kind-hearted too? He’s also a doctor after all. Why can’t he help if he can help… “
“Lin Baizhou,” Zheng Ruyun interrupted, and said suddenly, “You are great.”
Lin Baizhou was shocked again.
Just when he was about to start complaining about the other party, he heard Zheng Ruyun say, “As a kid, I hated everything peachy, until I was 8 years old, and thanks to someone, I started drinking peach soda. If only the incident with Zheng Hongqian hadn’t occurred later. A part of me wishes I could muster the nerve to approach that individual again in the bright light and ask if he’s ever…”
“But forget it.”
After a long while, Zheng Ruyun repeated it again, as if convincing himself. He said softly, “Forget it.”
Seeing the person in front of him, as if laughing at himself for having such a fantasy, Lin Baizhou’s mouth twitched slightly. Due to his year-round frowning, Zheng Ruyun has two deep lines between his brows and less smooth skin than other omegas. When he smiled, Lin Baizhou found a sense of reality on his face and he thought, “so he is really an omega”.
“Like Bai Tang, or other omegas, they deserve to be saved, but I alone—” From the bottom of his heart, Zheng Ruyun accepted the verdict, saying, “I’m not worth it.”
“Because all that’s left in my heart is hatred.”
Thank you for uploading so many chapters!
They have history together, I bet…
+1 I can feel it too.
Right?? That kid who gave him the reason to like peach flavored soda…
Yaaas, I think we’re gonna slay this hypothesis, bestie! 💃
Oh boy that therapist is going to be very busy with this crowd 😄. It’s sweet that Zheng Ruyun tried to give money, but I think the organization could use his time, his smarts and his experience more than anything else.
Don’t speak like this, ZRY!
Thank You for the new chapter (ฅ^ω^ฅ)♥
Either someone is cutting onions or I had a sudden onslaught from some sort of allergen. That must be why my eyes were watering for a little bit. Mhm.
Thanks for this batch of chapters. I cried like a baby.
Such sad chapters… happiness will come soon right? Right???
Thank you for the updates!
I really appreciate you translating a complete arc, because that was really tough. This couple really kills me
Thanks for the chapters
So I was not expecting to cry in the middle of midnight, but here we are
Abo, thanks a lot for translating so many chapters in one go!! I’ll wait carefully for the next actualization ( ◜‿◝ )♡