However, Yuwon had never, truly never, considered liking Hyun Gyujin in a way that would make him want to do things that friends shouldn’t do. Because it shouldn’t happen. It’s unreasonable.
Absolutely, it could never happen.
As he avoided and avoided, unable to understand why he was acting this way lately, Yuwon eventually faced the answer he had been avoiding. His mind was tangled, and his eyes felt hot. It was just a dream, anyway, a story of the unreal, so he thought he could just forget about it. But his heart, already confronted with the answer he had been avoiding in reality, couldn’t turn away. In the darkness, only there did the light shine, compelling him to keep looking in that direction.
“….”
Did he like Hyun Gyujin? His heart raced at the question cautiously thrown again. The answer “no” didn’t come to mind. Not at all.
The fuzzy reason for his excitement, the touch on his ear, the hand gripping his knee as he lay with his head on his thigh—all of it became vivid. The good scent that lingered when he held him close further colored Yuwon’s thoughts. The day he first faced pleasure alone, when the steam blocking his view dissipated and the path before him, though unfamiliar and frightening, was singular.
He liked Hyun Gyujin.
The smile that greeted him every morning when the elevator door opened on the 6th floor after descending from the 12th, the long shadow leaning against the door waiting for him at the end of his academy sessions, the courage to stay by his side until his anger subsided, even the warmth of his face that seemed ready to cry whenever he was in pain.
Yuwon thought of Hyun Gyujin. His warm and affectionate friend. How should he face him tomorrow morning with a heart that may no longer see him as just a friend?
“….”
Can you still be friends with someone when you like them as more than a friend? What face would Hyun Gyujin make if he knew this about him? It would be incredibly awkward; he wouldn’t be able to say anything. He might even be disgusted if he realized that he, who had been together with him since infancy, sharing everything, had such a ridiculous dream and had even gone as far as to indulge in such thoughts at the touch of a hand.
What should I do…. What should I do?
His heart began to race uncontrollably for reasons other than excitement. He felt anxious and scared. Yuwon didn’t know what to do with this sudden first love. He didn’t know what was what, where to start examining his feelings, or how to sort them out. All he knew now was that he kept dreaming about Hyun Gyujin, and it seemed that the reason his heart raced at every move Hyun Gyujin made was because he liked Hyun Gyujin. That was the only thing.
An overwhelming flood of thoughts poured in. His head hurt, and his body felt exhausted. Nights of restless sleep depleted his energy even faster. Yuwon was tired and closed his eyes.
Hyun Gyujin, more than reality, gently pulled Yuwon’s arm into his territory. Yuwon was under Hyun Gyujin’s spell again. Until morning.
***
From the moment Yuwon realized he liked Hyun Gyujin, he became a little more thoughtful than usual. Whenever he had a moment, he found himself lost in thought, pondering the very abstract concept of “liking someone.”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
Qtja vbfr la wfjc ab ilxf rbwfbcf? Snfc rffwlcuis rlwqif defralbcr vlvc’a tjnf fjrs jcrkfgr. Qtja fzjmais lr ilxlcu rbwfbcf? Mieaafglcu offilcur? Kgfwyilcu? Vtglcxlcu jkjs ktfc atflg tjcv abemtfr sbegr?
Ca atf fcv bo j rfglfr bo lcmgfjrlcuis vloolmeia defralbcr, Tekbc ojmfv atf wbra mtjiifculcu jcv rqffmtifrr defralbc.
So, what do I want to do with Hyun Gyujin?
“….”
Exactly…. I know I like Hyun Gyujin, but what do I actually want to do? He couldn’t say a word. Nothing came to mind. Yuwon absentmindedly sucked on a thin straw, completely forgetting about drinking his banana milk as he got lost in his thoughts.
What do people do when they like someone…. His thoughts were a mess. It seemed harder than a math problem with a high score, even though it wasn’t particularly difficult. With a math problem, if you memorized the formula, you could at least guess how to solve it, but with this feeling of liking Hyun Gyujin, he couldn’t figure out where to start or how to approach it.
“….”
Obra lc atbeuta, Tekbc, ktb kjr rlaalcu vjhfvis fcbeut ab yf mjiifv “Dijcx Tekbc,” revvfcis pewqfv eq ja atf rbecv bo atf vbbgyfii, jr lo ybecmlcu boo atf mbemt. Pa kjr atf vjs obg aeabglcu, jcv tf tjv jugffv ab tjnf vlccfg klat Lsec Xseplc, yea lc tlr vjhf, la rffwfv ilxf Lsec Xseplc kjr jigfjvs tfgf. Tekbc delmxis kfca ab atf vbbg jcv bqfcfv la.
“Mom bought tteokbokki so I brought it here.”
“Tteokbokki?”
“Yeah. You like it. The one near the McDonald’s building by the academy, in the basement there.”
Hyun Gyujin, shaking the paper bag containing tteokbokki, walked inside and headed towards the kitchen. Yuwon followed along, trailing behind Hyun Gyujin, who had been dominating his thoughts lately. He wanted to pause his thoughts a bit in front of Hyun Gyujin, but it didn’t work out well. Was it because the person in question was right in front of him? Instead, even more tangled thoughts arose.
“Do you want to start with a hotdog?”
“….”
“Yuwon. Would you like a hotdog?”
“….”
“Hey, dazed one. Let’s eat.”
Finally meeting Yuwon’s eyes, Hyun Gyujin smiled and handed him a warm hotdog with ketchup. Yuwon, who had been pouting slightly as if offended by being called ‘dazed,’ cautiously took the hotdog and took a bite, blowing gently on it.
“Who’s dazed now? I repeated what I said twice.”
“But what does ‘dazed one’ mean?”
“It’s cute. I like it.”
Even though he knew there wasn’t much meaning behind Hyun Gyujin’s words, Yuwon’s heart raced and trembled at Hyun Gyujin’s declaration of liking it. Yuwon opened his small mouth wider than necessary and took a bite of the hotdog, unable to put the whole corner in his mouth at once.
“…You should eat too. I’ll handle it.”
Watching Hyun Gyujin open the tteokbokki packaging and arranging the fried food, Yuwon took out the hotdog from the bag and added ketchup to it, then offered it to Hyun Gyujin.
“Oh.”
Although it wasn’t meant to be fed to him, Hyun Gyujin, opening his mouth while doing something with both hands, was cute. Yuwon, unable to do anything about his fluttering heart, fed him a bite of the hotdog without even realizing it.
Feeding him wasn’t intended, but Hyun Gyujin, opening his mouth while doing something with both hands, was cute. Yuwon, unable to suppress his restless heart, ended up feeding him a bite of the hotdog. Unlike him, Hyun Gyujin took a big bite easily.
“Oh, it’s delicious. Maybe because I’m hungry.”
Hyun Gyujin, who had set up the packaging for easy access, once again leaned towards Yuwon, offering his mouth. Now that his hands were free, Yuwon knew he could just hand him the hotdog, but unknowingly, he fed the hotdog to Hyun Gyujin’s mouth.
“Now you eat….”
“Why, it seems like you enjoy feeding me. You can keep going.”
With a mischievous tone, Yuwon glanced at Hyun Gyujin and took his hand, pressing the hotdog stick into it. He felt a tingling sensation when their fingers touched, but he didn’t show it. He knew too well that it was something only he felt.
“….”
As Hyun Gyujin took another bite of the hotdog, devouring more than half of it while Yuwon had barely eaten two bites, Yuwon glanced at him briefly. Once again, the ultimate question floated into his mind.
Do I like Hyun Gyujin?
“….”
Yes…. That part came easily. It was the result of a not-so-easy process. His heart had become so entangled with feelings towards Hyun Gyujin that he couldn’t deny it.
Then what do I want to do with the Hyun Gyujin I like?
“….”
I… I want to… Yuwon’s gaze inadvertently landed deeply on Hyun Gyujin, who had finished eating one hotdog.
What do you want to do when you like someone? Normally, you’d want to get closer to the person you like. You’d want to become friends, have more conversations… You’d probably want to catch their eye.
But Yuwon’s situation was a bit different. He was already as close to Hyun Gyujin as possible. They were so close that everyone knew they were friends. They could easily converse without making any effort, and they could even eat together like this. It was already doing everything one would do before developing feelings beyond friendship.
Yuwon, startled by the fork approaching him, raised his head slightly and met Hyun Gyujin’s eyes.
“….”
His lips curled into a refreshing smile. His unwavering gaze had no hesitation, and his eyes were warm. It felt good…. That smile, that gaze… that warmth.
Yuwon liked Hyun Gyujin. In a different way than just friends. Once again, a strange and unfamiliar question emerged.
So what do I want from Hyun Gyujin?
I want to reach out like in a dream…. I wish we could sit closer. I wish you could stroke my head and touch my neck…. Just like in the dream, solidly, difficult to move… Above me……
“Jung Yuwon. Yuwon.”
Hyun Gyujin’s voice pierced through, and the world came into sharp focus. Yuwon barely parted his trembling lips as he looked at Hyun Gyujin, who was looking at him with concern.
