It’s blindingly white everywhere besides a few splotches of color here and there: the blue chairs in the waiting area, soft and squishy easy to sink into, and the vibrant blue sky displayed through the massive windows. People walk to and fro on the pristine, cream colored hallways, murmuring quietly, professionals at work. The aroma of coffee wafts out from a quaint little café at the corner selling chocolate chip cookies and palm sized chocolate covered coconut macaroons. A little red headed tyke is currently begging for one. His mother smiles at him distractedly, a wrinkle in her brow, her hands fidgeting nervously. I hate it. I hate it because, for all the effort people have taken in making it look clean and comfortable, even under the guise of elegance and beauty, a hospital can never be anything but a hospital.
I blink and return to the present, stepping forward to knock on the blindingly white door adjacent to a little sign: 262. I knock twice. No response. Should I try again? She probably can’t hear me. I inhale. Then, before I have a chance to overthink it I open the door and step inside.
As soon as I look up, our eyes meet and that familiar sweet smile slowly blooms on her gnarled face, partially blocked by a nasal cannula.
“Ramakrishnan!” My lips curl up into a half smile of my own, eyebrows still furrowed. I probably look like that lady in the shop right now.
“Patti.”
My grandmother has pancreatic cancer. Only 6% of those diagnosed with it survive past five years. She was diagnosed one year ago and by some miracle she’s made it through until now.
“Come…come here. Tell me how you have been.” I walk over to her, examining every inch of her shrunken figure as I do so.
“I-I’ve been good Patti, I’ve been good. How have you been?” Idiot. How do you expect her to answer? I’ve been struggling through each day, hardly knowing if I’m going to make it to the next?
“Good, good. You’re Amma came to visit me. She brought me an I-I-I what was it?”
“I-phone? I-pad?”
“Ah I-pad! Yes, yes. I was watching some television.”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
“Efjiis? Qtja vlv sbe kjamt?”
“You’re Amma brought me my serial. You know “Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi”?” Ah, “Because a Mother-in-law Was Once a Daughter In Law too” Patti’s obsession.
The show is a classic sob story soap opera about a man who falls in love with a poor girl rather than an arrogant rich one against the wishes of his mother. His mother then conspires to ruin her new daughter-in-law’s life however the guy goes off and nearly dies, losing his memory in the process? There’s also several sudden pregnancies involving multiple girls but the same guy in if I remember correctly…
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“…atja’r kts Ejwjxglrtcjc, sbe rtbeiv yf ibsji ab sbeg klof jcv ajxf mjgf bo tfg. Yo mbegrf, rtf rtbeivc’a yf j rmtfwlcu kbwjc ilxf atja Zjcvlgj.”
“…Ah?” I blink, wondering how the conversation has reached this point. When did it come to my love life?
“Ramakrishnan, your Amma was just telling me…” I massage my eyebrows. Amma, I knew it.
“…she’s a nice girl your Amma was saying. She’s a writer and…”
I feel a headache coming on as I watch her smile with glittering eyes. Patti, your grandson is currently living with a guy who may or may not be interested in him romantically. And anyway, your grandson isn’t interested in getting married right now, even if he did have a girl he liked, since his career is just getting started.
“…and I heard your Amma say she makes holes in her vadas when frying, just the way you like them…” At her mention of food, I glance down at the plastic bag in my hands.
“Ah, Patti?”
“Yes?”
“I made you some sambar rice.” Her eyes alight as I hand her the container. The first time I made food for Patti she was stunned, since I’m after all a man. However, now she’s gotten pretty used to it. As I hand her the container, she reaches for it, places it on her lap, opens it, and scoops out a bit.
“Patti maybe you should wai-” As soon as she fills her mouth she breaks out into a furious coughing fit.
Cough! Cough! Coughcough! The sambar rice dribbles out of her mouth and down her chin, dripping onto her glittering magenta sari. I hastily grab some tissues and dab at her clothes with one hand while the other soothingly pats her back.
Cough! Cough! Once the coughs die down, she takes a couple of deep breaths.
“Sorry Ramakrishnan, I don’t think I can eat now-“
“That’s okay! That’s okay, it’s totally fine. Take your time, there’s no problem at all! Um, Patti were you watching any other shows besides “Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi”? Or now that that’s finished are you going to watch something else?”
“Oh, yes…” her eyes alight as she describes the other shows she’s excited about watching. I periodically nod, an absentminded smile on my face and my brow creased with worry.
Some time later the visit ends and I say goodbye.
“I’ll be leaving now Patti.”
“Good, good, come again soon Ramakrishnan!”
“I will!” I wave, the smile still plastered on my face. Then I open the door and step outside, glancing once again at the little gray plaque with 262. The smile has vanished, my face carries an expressionless mask, as if it was always that way.
As I head home I pass by a Walgreens and impulsively pull in. I head inside, grab a pack of beer, pay, and return to my car. By the time I process my actions I’m back in the car and almost home with the pack sitting in shotgun. I arrive at my apartment, head inside, then immediately make for the couch in front of the TV, beers in one hand. I turn it on, numbly. I switch channels until I come across some random sports channel showing a tennis match. I open a can of beer and take a swig.
After some time, maybe 20 minutes or even an hour later, I hear the door swing open. I numbly take another swig of my third, fourth, or maybe fifth bottle. For a second my eyes cross and the world spins, I try to count the number of bottles but they seem to meld and multiply in my fuzzy vision.
“Oh, Ram!” I hear Chen’s voice. “Guess what, I-” He stops short behind me.
“…How much did you drink?” His voice is tentative and…worried maybe? Without turning to look at him I clumsily pat the open spot on the couch next to me.
“Join me for a little bit.” I pause. My voice is creaky and throaty, to the point that even I have trouble recognizing it.
“Um, okay.” He lightly steps towards me and sits in the open spot. I take another swig and there’s silence as I slowly swallow it.
“Um…are you okay?” I blink as my vision spazes out again.
Hearing my lack of response, he tries again. “Um I mean are you-“
“My mother is a pediatrician and my father is an engineer. So as I was growing up, they were always really busy and my care was left to my grandmother. I told you about her when you first started living here right? My childhood is filled with her, the taste of her homemade laddus and chocolates, the scent of her sandalwood incense, the sound of her praying, chiding asking me to eat more, and the sight of her in her vibrant sari, always vigorous and colorfully alive. She’d always have some plot or other to tell me about from her Indian soap operas, to the point where I could recite who cheated on whom with precise detail whether I wanted to or not. But now…she’s dying.” My voice catches on the last word and I feel the heat in my eye. I clutch my head, breathing sharply, as I feel something wet drip down my face.
“Ram oh, Ram, I’m so sorry.” I vaguely feel Chen’s arms surround me. They’re thin and soft, as if they can hardly break a twig. However, I feel a curious sense of security and hidden strength from them as they surround me. Furthermore, the heat emanating from his warm embrace removes the last barrier guarding my emotions and they explode in a flood of tears. My body shakes as I sob. After some time, my sobs slowly die down and with it I feel my consciousness drifting away. The last thing I see is Chen’s large soulful eyes full of anxiety.
Ok!! So i was wrong um his Patti is not dead but dying instead … ok.
Aihh i love the grandma tho… here’s to hoping she makes it in a few more chapters
Thanks for the chapter € ^ *^)/// ~~ ♡♡♡♡♡