“Yigyeom.”
Yigyeom, who had been lying down, curled up at the sound of my voice. Kwon Taejung entered the room and turned on the light. Yigyeom squinted his eyes against the sudden, bright light, then slowly opened them.
“Why are you here like this? Did you come here because you’re unwell? You should’ve called.”
Seeing Yigyeom with red eyes, Kwon Taejung reached out and gently touched his forehead and cheek. There was a slight fever, but it wasn’t worryingly high, so he felt relieved for the moment.
“I was worried. You didn’t answer my calls. Have you been sleeping all this time?”
“…Ah… Yes, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were calling.”
Yigyeom said, hiding his hand under the blanket. A pregnancy test kit was hidden underneath. When Kwon Taejung called his name, he was so surprised that, without realizing it, he grabbed what he had placed on top and hid it under the blanket.
“It’s okay if you didn’t answer the calls. You can’t hear the phone when you’re in a deep sleep. That’s fine. But why didn’t you say you were coming here? You could’ve left a message. I couldn’t reach you, you’re not at home, and I was worried.”
Looking at Yigyeom, who held the pregnancy test kit tightly under the blanket, Kwon Taejung gazed at him with warmth and affection.
He wanted to make Tae-jung happy. It had definitely been his intention. As much as Kwon Taejung made him happy, Yigyeom wanted to reciprocate and make him happy with all his heart. And he thought it wouldn’t be difficult, thinking that with one feeling of affection, he could do anything.
But lately, it seemed that he always made Kwon Taejung sad and worried. He genuinely wanted to make Tae-jung happy, but either he didn’t know what happiness was because he had lived without it, or he didn’t know how to make Kwon Taejung feel good.
“…I’m sorry for that too.”
“…”
“I don’t want to say sorry… It feels like I keep making things to apologize for. It’s not what I intended, but my feelings seem to… keep making me apologize.”
“Yeah. Why does my Yigyeom keep apologizing to me? From what I see, there’s nothing to apologize for.”
Kwon Taejung, who had been silently looking at Yigyeom’s face, comfortably sat down across from him and met his eyes.
“Tell me, Yigyeom. Why are you sorry to me? Am I scary when I’m angry? Do you think I’ll get mad if you don’t apologize?”
“…It’s not that.”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
“Then?”
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“…”
“Tomorrow, everything might collapse here. Originally, today was supposed to be our last night. We agreed to enjoy it until this place collapses, together.”
“…”
“I want to know. How were these three months with me? From the very beginning… now, on the last day, what do you think of me?”
For Yigyeom, these three months were a challenging time, facing unfamiliar emotions. It was the first time he had experienced receiving such overflowing affection, the first time he couldn’t turn away from someone smiling at him. And the experience of falling into someone’s charm for the first time made him forget to breathe at times.
Into the simple days where he had many debts and had to work tirelessly to pay them off, Kwon Taejung suddenly entered. He was unfamiliar and difficult, and it was frightening to think that he might disappear after shaking everything, but… he became the most precious existence to Yigyeom. There were times when he tried not to get involved too much, times when he promised himself that he wouldn’t be shaken, but his body always leaned toward Kwon Taejung in those moments.
It was okay even if the heart contracted to the point of not being able to breathe. The laughter that reached only him, the strong arms that tightly embraced to the point of being unable to escape, the warmth and pleasure that melted the entire body… Kwon Taejung, who filled the heart.
“Lately, when I see you, Yigyeom, I feel like I’m going too far ahead alone.”
“…”
“I’m not trying to blame you. I wonder if I’m going too fast, making it difficult for you to catch up, or if you want to go in a different direction, but you end up following me because I’m rushing… I want to know. We need to know to resolve it.”
“…It’s not like that. I’ve never thought about it… Really.”
“Then why do you keep checking on me?”
At the pointed words, Yigyeom’s heart sank. It was true that for the past few days, he had been monitoring Kwon Taejung’s mood and hadn’t said much. He couldn’t deny it because it was true that he had been watching his every move for the past few days, concerned about his feelings.
“After I mentioned that I resolved the debt, you’ve been like this continuously. For several days, you’ve… just watched me, not talked much, not smiled. Did you dislike that so much? Did it make our relationship awkward?”
“…”
“I decided not to talk about it anymore… I’m sorry for bringing it up again. But Yigyeom. We can’t keep going like this, just checking each other’s feelings. If we don’t talk, if we don’t reveal everything, both you and I will feel uncomfortable in one corner of our hearts.”
Yigyeom fully understood Kwon Taejung’s words. There was no way he couldn’t feel the strange awkwardness that had persisted for the past few days. He knew that if they didn’t resolve it, if they didn’t talk about it, it would probably linger uncomfortably in one corner of their hearts.
“I don’t know where to start. I can’t sort it out well… Even if I should say this, and it might not be appropriate, but if I don’t say it today, I might not have another chance to say it….”
“…”
“…When Chief helped resolve the debt… The reason I couldn’t be happy about it was because resolving that debt on my own… I thought it was the only thing I could do to become a person who suits Chief… that’s what I thought.”
The small voice, soaked with the courage that could only be brought up now, reached Kwon Taejung. Kwon Taejung faced the earnestness that he had longed to see in his heart.
“However, I thought about trying harder, no matter how, to become a person who suits Chief more. After meeting Chief’s family…”
“…”
“Oh… It’s not meant in a bad way. They are such wonderful people, so I also wanted to become a better person… I’m not saying it in a bad sense at all….”
Watching Yigyeom speak clearly, even though he spoke quietly, Kwon Taejung didn’t add much to his words. He didn’t want to worry about whether his added words might close Yigyeom’s open heart again, and he wanted to hear everything Yigyeom had to say for now.
“The day we had a meal together… You treated me so kindly, took care of me, and showed consideration, but I felt so thankful and sorry.”
“Even as I speak, I felt awkward, and conversations kept getting interrupted because you were considerate of me, and I don’t know much about good food… Conversations kept getting interrupted because you were considerate of me again… I was so sorry about that. So, so… I wanted to become someone who doesn’t need consideration, someone who fits better with Chief.”
I knew that day wasn’t entirely comfortable, but I didn’t expect him to have such thoughts, and it felt like my heart was collapsing. Kwon Taejung continued to listen attentively to Yigyeom’s words, trying to suppress the urge to embrace him. It was difficult to hold back the desire to comfort him, but for now, he wanted to hear more of his story.
“I thought about what I should do to become someone who fits, but… more than anything else, I felt like I needed to eliminate the debt first. So, I worked even harder to quickly get rid of the debt… I even looked for another part-time job. But… since Chief resolved that…”
“…”
“… I wanted to become someone who doesn’t need consideration, but now I ended up receiving consideration again. It felt like… I lost the direction of my efforts. I felt like I could never permanently become someone who fits Chief, and…”
Kwon Taejung, faced with the deeply hidden story in Yigyeom’s heart, was too shocked to utter any words. He couldn’t easily bring himself to speak because he didn’t know that he had been suffering so deeply. He couldn’t forgive himself for not understanding him and simply feeling disappointed that he wasn’t pleased.
“…As much as Chief makes me happy, I also… want to do everything for Chief. But… it’s too difficult. Unlike my heart, I keep making Chief upset, disappointed, and worried… I hate it so much.”
“Yigyeom.”
“…You must be tired of me… acting foolishly and feeling frustrated like a fool, and crying even though you did something nice…”
Emotions intensified with anxiety and fear, and his body trembled more violently, and his breathing started to quicken. There was a possibility that pheromone interference might occur again if things continued like this. Kwon Taejung quickly enveloped Yigyeom’s trembling cheeks and the back of his neck with his large hands, looking into his eyes.
“Who said that? I’m not tired of you.”
“…Now… You don’t dislike me now… do you?”
“Is what I’m saying now correct?”
“…Why, why are you saying that?”
“…Since that day… It seemed like you were avoiding… touching me.”
Blinking at Yigyeom’s words, Kwon Taejung exhaled deeply and buried his face in his shoulder, as if collapsing.
“I didn’t avoid it; I endured it. I was worried that my pheromones might hurt you, Yigyeom. Even if things return to normal, there’s always a possibility. I really shouldn’t hurt you, so that’s why I did that.”
“…I thought… now… Chief doesn’t want to be with me anymore…”
Stroking Yigyeom’s teary head and gently touching his neck, Kwon Taejung lifted his head and looked deeply into his eyes. Thinking about how Yigyeom must have suffered alone while observing his actions for the past few days, he felt overwhelming remorse.
“How could I dislike you? It’s absurd.”
“…”
“I want to see you even if you’re just a little apart, and I only think about you no matter who I’m with or what I’m doing.”
“…”
“Even when I look at you like this, I feel like my heart is about to burst because I want to know how to have more of you. How can I make you trust me? What should I do… for you, Yigyeom, to trust me…”
“……”
“What should I do to make you love me?”
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