After his outburst, Lin Xiao left the stunned Qin Yijun as he exits the room. On his way leaving Tianlong Palace, he came across An Yi who was carrying an old man on his back. But Lin Xiao did not bother to greet them. In fact, he didn’t even acknowledge them and simply rushed out without looking back.
An Yi’s eyes stayed on Lin Xiao’s figure until it disappeared from his vision. Then, he glanced over at the direction from where he came from, and saw Qin Yijun slowly approaching. The Emperor’s face was full of complication. Adding with how Lin Xiao looked earlier, An Yi didn’t have any problem putting two and two together. He slowly went down to his knee and allowed the old man on his back to get down before he greeted the Emperor.
“Your Majesty,” he managed to say before Qin Yijun cut him off.
“An Yi, you go and accompany Lin Xiao. It is late, so make sure that no harms come to him,” said the Emperor before he turned his attention to the old man. “Lao Pan, if it is not a trouble, Zhen would like a company for a short walk in the garden.”
The two who heard the Emperor immediately understood his meaning. An Yi did not dare to waste any more time and quickly chased after Lin Xiao. The old man known as Lao Pan gave the Emperor a small bow before speaking: “Your Majesty, as long as this old man is able to help ease up Your Majesty’s burden, then allow this old man to accompany you on your walk.”
Qin Yijun stared at the old man and nods his head. Within the Imperial Palace, Lao Pan is one of the few people who were exempted from showing the Emperor courtesy. This exemption came from Qin Yijun himself. The main factor for this decision was because Lao Pan is already old in age and his bones could not handle the pressure of kowtowing to the Emperor. In addition, this old man is Qin Yijun’s most trusted confidant.
Since young age, Qin Yijun and Li Fangming always frequented the infirmary due to injuries from training. It was Lao Pan who treated them and took care of them. Qin Yijun always remembered this favour up until now.
“Then, Lao Pan, come with Zhen to the Emperor’s Garden.”
The Emperor’s Garden was not far from Tianlong Palace. And this garden has long been sealed by Qin Yijun himself. Other than the servants who were responsible in taking care of the garden, no one else was allowed entry. This time, Qin Yijun invited Lao Pan to this garden therefore, whatever it is that he wanted to say must be of utmost secrecy.
“Lao Pan… You should have already figured out Lin Xiao’s identity, is that right?” Qin Yijun asked.
Lao Pan was surprised that the Emperor would ask him this question. He had indeed known Lin Xiao’s identity. Though when he treated the young man earlier, he saw there were few new scars marring his body, there was no doubt that the young man called Lin Xiao is indeed Li Fangming. When he found out about this, he had wanted to tell the Emperor of his findings but the Emperor was busy at the moment to prepare for the Court Meeting.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
Since there were no chance, Lao Pan could only bury it in his heart and bring it up again when he met the Emperor next. He didn’t expect that not a day has passed and the Emperor would actually asked him first.
“Your Majesty, it is not that this old man wanted to keep it a secret… but Your Majesty was busy earlier and this old man did not dare to take up your precious time,” Lao Pan said after a while. “Indeed, this old man knew of Lin Xiao’s identity. This old man also heard that he is suffering from loss of memories and have no recollection of his past.”
“En. Then this will make it easier to discuss,” Qin Yijun said as he led them to the pavilion before taking a seat. He gestured for Lao Pan to follow suit before he continued to speak. “Earlier, Zhen might’ve done something… that offended him.”
After saying this, Qin Yijun began to reiterate what had happened before. He began from when he saw Lin Xiao being surrounded by the guards from his uncle’s order. Then explained the situation from the moment before Lin Xiao fell unconscious and also the event that happened inside the bed chamber earlier. He did not hide anything from Lao Pan who patiently listened and waited for him to finish.
“When Zhen called out his real name, he appears angry and Zhen couldn’t understand why.”
Qin Yijun stared at Lao Pan, waiting for the old man to answer. The old physician seemed to be thinking for a while before letting out a heavy sigh.
“This matter, this old man is not very knowledgeable in it. Though there are several cases of memory loss, most of the victim stays with their family as they recuperate. Therefore, they did not have any strong rejection to the way their family treat them,” Lao Pan said. “But in Lin Xiao’s case… he was away from anything that is familiar to his past. In these two years, he has developed a new identity, completely separate from that of Li Fangming.”
Lao Pan then paused to catch his breath while also tried to think of a way to explain his next sentence in a more easier way so that Qin Yijun is able to consume it easily. “Your Majesty, I believe that what Lin Xiao was feeling is fear. What happened with Qin Luozhuo had stimulated him and he might’ve recalled a few repressed memories. In the case where he felt his past personality is foreign to him, he might’ve believed that Li Fangming is a completely separate entity from himself. This way, he might be feeling that he is being compared to the past him and as someone with individuality, it would seem as if people are rejecting his current self while preferring his past self.”
“Then… What is Zhen supposed to do? Lao Pan, you know of Zhen’s feeling for Li Fangming… For two years, this feelings has never diminished and it only grew more when Zhen sees him. If…” Qin Yijun trailed off, not wanting to continue. To him, if he were to give up on Li Fangming now, he doesn’t know if he could handle the pain.
“Your Majesty, may this old man be more presumptuous?” Lao Pan asked when he noticed the expression of pain on the Emperor’s face. “This old man know of your affection and intention to Li Fangming. But now that he seems different, that feelings doesn’t change?”
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This time, Qin Yijun didn’t waste any time before nodding his head.
“If Lin Xiao adopts another identity, and another name… those feelings will not change?”
“No. It wouldn’t,” Qin Yijun replied. “No matter what, he is still the same person that holds this Emperor’s heart.”
“Then, it doesn’t matter if he is now Li Fangming or if he is Lin Xiao or if he is Mo Jun in the future,” Lao Pan said with a gentle smile on his face. “Your Majesty, since he is afraid of being compared to his past, then you should avoid using Li Fangming’s name. Until he can accept that he is the same person, we should treat him as who he is now.”
Qin Yijun suddenly felt enlightened and finds that what Lao Pan said make sense. No one wants to be compared. “Zhen understands now. Thank you, Lao Pan. Zhen will ask one of the shadow guards to escort you back now.”
“En. But before that, Your Majesty, may this old man bring up one request?”
“Say it. Zhen will grant it as long as it does not bring harm to the Empire,” Qin Yijun replied.
“This old man is already old. It is almost time for this old man to retire but this old man has yet to have a successor. If it is not a trouble, I wish to find a disciple to train and impart all of my knowledge to him,” Lao Pan said to the Emperor.
“You cannot find one from the existing royal physician?” Qin Yijun asked with a hint of a surprise.
“This old man do not mean any offense, Your Majesty. But those people… are lacking in terms of compassion for living beings. They are only treating people for monetary rewards or reputation. This old man wish to find someone with an upright upbringing to be his disciple. I don’t care if they are from a noble family or a family of farmer. It is fine if they know nothing of medicine as long as they are compassionate to learn and save as much life as they can.”
After listening to Lao Pan’s reasoning, Qin Yijun only nods his head. “Very well. Zhen will allow you to find your own disciple. Do you already have someone in mind?”
To this, Lao Pan hesitated for a while. “Originally, this old man had wished to train Li Fangming after he finished his training with Master Hao…” he trailed off afterwards. After all, the two of them knew what happened after the last training Lin Xiao had with Hao Shuren.
“Do you still want to train him?” Qin Yijun asked. If Lin Xiao became Lao Pan’s disciple, then they would have more time to interact since Lin Xiao would need to make frequent visit to the Palace Infirmary.
“With his current condition, it is best not to put that much pressure on him,” Lao Pan replied. “If he wanted to one day, then of course this old man would be willing to teach him. But for now, this old man will have to find someone else.”
“Very well,” Qin Yijun nods his head in understanding. “Zhen will help you find and recommend you some people. There may be few from the eight general’s family who wished to learn medicine.”
“Your Majesty knows how to jest,” Lao Pan couldn’t help letting out a small laughter. “Those people from the general’s family, how can they be willing to put down the sword and learn medicine?”
“But you wanted Li Fangming to be your disciple? Li Fangming also picked up the sword,” Qin Yijun said, feeling a bit confused. He was actually serious when he said he would try to find people from the general’s family. But to his surprise, Lao Pan thought he was joking.
“Li Fangming is different, Your Majesty. He picked up the sword for your sake. But I can still see in his eyes that he cares for other lives. That female falcon that he saved a long time ago is a solid proof,” Lao Pan told Qin Yijun. “For Your Majesty, he would do anything. But I also know that if he has the ability to save others, he would not hesitate to do so.”
Qin Yijun was unable to say anything else and Lao Pan also felt as if he had already taken too much of the Emperor’s time. The old man excused himself and Qin Yijun sends one of the shadow guard to protect him. After that, he stayed in the garden for a while as he looked up to the sky above.
The moon shone brightly against the night sky and the scene gave Qin Yijun a sense of calmness. Like this, he began to consider his future actions towards Lin Xiao. If he didn’t want to lose him, then as Lao Pan suggested, he would have to treat Lin Xiao and Li Fangming as if they are two separate person. It might be hard for him, but he would have to persevere if he wanted to keep his beloved close.
With a heavy sigh, Qin Yijun finally left the garden and returned to Tianlong Palace to settle in for the night.
Aaah i’m sooo conflicted i can’t sad stuff i still read it aaah how am i going to go through this journey i feel so bad for my baby Lin Xiao
Well, after all, nobody likes to be compared to another, even individuals with multiple personalities don’t like it. Maybe Yijun will have a nice surprise chasing Lin Xiao.
Thx for the chapter