Trigger Warning: Discussions about suicide
As soon as the trio entered the company, they noticed the atmosphere was a bit off today. Every now and then they would say hello to a company artist without much else communication.
When they met Lin Yuxin, her eyes were still a little red. With a lady’s cigarette between her fingers, she looked tired.
Xie Xun patted Xiao Qishen on the shoulder and turned to go a different direction, leaving the three of them alone in the hallway.
Shan Yatong hesitated, then smiled at the two. He turned around, ready to also leave.
“Yatong, where are you going?” Lin Yuxin’s voice was a little glum. She looked sideways at Shan Yatong. “Accompany me out?”
Shan Yatong looked back at Xiao Qishen, then turned and walked back to her. “Okay.”
“Since the two of you are heading out, how could I leave you without a driver? I’ll drive,” Xiao Qishen said with his hands in his trouser pockets, not the least bit shameful about forcing himself on them.
Lin Yuxin lazily looked at him. She didn’t have the heart to make fun of him. Tossing her cigarette into the trash can beside her, she turned to Shan Yatong. “Let’s go.”
In a corner where they couldn’t be seen, Lu Fan watched the three people walk away. He stopped calling Shan Yatong’s number, and turned to Xie Xun beside him. “Go back.”
“Ah, you’re not going to stop Yatong?” Xie Xun asked with surprise.
“If you go ask Emperor Xiao, then I will also ask Yatong.” Lu Fan glanced at him. “To ask them to stop right now would only be asking for trouble.”
Xie Xun rubbed his nose and resentfully stopped speaking.
Shan Yatong obediently followed Lin Yuxin. He pressed the button for the elevator, and when the doors opened, turned sideways to let Lin Yuxin enter first, before following and pressing the floor number.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
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Lin Yuxin smiled lightly. “How did you know I like ‘82 Lafite?” After saying this, she looked at Xiao Qishen. Could it be that Xiao Qishen would tell this kind of thing to this Shan kid?
Xiao Qishen’s eyes actually changed slightly. In a flash, he quickly smiled. “Yatong, do you know what kind of wine I like to drink?”
Shan Yatong looked up and scratched his head. “I just heard that the ‘82 red wine was good. I also heard that Yuxin-jie likes to drink red wine. It turns out that Yuxin’s favourite is Lafite ’82, which I can’t afford yet.” After speaking, his cheeks were pink with an unnatural blush.
Lin Yuxin smiled. Her expression was softer than before. When the elevator door opened, the three of them got out, turned a corner, and directly entered the underground parking lot. Lin Yuxin tossed the car keys to Xiao Qishen. “You know where Yatong’s home is. Start the car.”
“Yes, Queen Lin. Xiao Qishen located Queen Lin’s limited edition Ferrari red sports car, and gestured in a gentlemanly manner for her to get in. He waited for Lin Yuxin to open her door, before turning to open the driver’s door. He got in and took a seat.
Shan Yatong sat beside Lin Yuxin. The redness on his face had dissipated. The car drove out of the parking lot, and the sun shined into the car, brightening the interior.
“She and I entered Sky Crown in the same year, and we also had the same agent. When I was plagued by scandals, the first one to step forward was… Jing-shixiong. The other was Jing Jing.” Lin Yuxin leaned back in her seat, her voice weary.
Hearing someone mention the famous Jing Anjue once again, Xiao Qishen glanced in the rearview mirror, and saw the rare vulnerability on Lin Yuxin’s face.
“All the people said that Jing Jing and I were lucky. From the moment we debuted, we had Jing-shixiong’s protection. For many activities, Jing-shixiong would also take us along.” Lin Yuxin inexplicably smiled. “Then later, we gradually became leading female stars of Sky Crown. In private, Jing Jing and I had also become better friends compared to other artists. This time, I really didn’t expect…” Lin Yuxin choked back a sob. She looked out the window, not wanting to show such a pitiful appearance to a junior.
Lin Yuxin left out a lot of details, which Shan Yatong of course knew. He took out a white handkerchief and handed it to Lin Yuxin. “Yuxin-jie, perhaps death is a painful thought to us. But when one is in pain, death may be the most wonderful relief, and, well, death might not be as scary as one might think.”
Lin Yuxin took the handkerchief. She touched the teenager’s icy cold fingers. This was the first time she had heard such comforting words. “Death is relief?”
Taking back his hand, Shan Yatong lowered his eyelids. “Death is just another type of rebirth. There is nothing sad about it. Perhaps in the blink of an eye, Han Jing will be ushered into a new life. Whether emotions, or love, all those jumbled feelings are just a cloud of smoke in a split second.”
Lin Yuxin looked at the teenager in a daze. Suddenly, she felt like this young man in front of her had already seen through life and death. In his eyes, death or survival was just the alternation between beginning and end.
“But people should live well for themselves. After being sad, they should live their lives happily. After all, after a day like today, tomorrow the sun will rise as usual. But there will never be a repeat of today.” Shan Yatong looked up and smiled lightly at Lin Yuxin. “So I hope that after Yuxin-jie is sad, she will continue to live happily. Han Jing’s death was her own choice. Yuxin-jie, as her friend, should respect her choice. In that case, why should you be sad because of a friend’s choice?”
What Shan Yatong said seemed to make a lot of sense. Lin Yuxin’s heart calmed down a bit, but there was something weird that she couldn’t ignore. As for what the weirdness was, she couldn’t say. She just felt that a nineteen-year-old teenager should not be saying such things.
To understand life and death so thoroughly, how many people in this world could achieve such a thing?
In the front, Xiao Qishen’s hand on the steering wheel was white-knuckled. He could see clearly in the rearview mirror. Shan Yatong said all that without hesitation. In other words, this came from his heart. Xiao Qishen felt the anger inside him grow. How could he say something like that so easily, when you only live once?
Did he think life was like just a game, where as soon as it said GAME OVER, it was over? Did he not have any consideration for friends and loves ones, whether they would grieve or not?
“Yatong, are you afraid of death?” Lin Yuxin looked at the teenager beside her. “Is death scary?” She pulled the teenager’s wrist over. Where the teenager’s left wrist was covered by his watch, a shocking deep scratch was revealed.
In fact, she had noticed the teenager’s scar on his left wrist during the filming of ‘Lincheng’. She couldn’t understand what could’ve happened for a teenager to make such a decision.
From the rearview mirror, Xiao Qishen could only see Lin Yuxin pulling Shan Yatong’s wrist. He did not see the scar on his wrist.
“You should be glad that your costume on ‘Lincheng’ was enough to block this. Otherwise, with your popularity now, I don’t know what kind of news report would’ve spread.” Lin Yuxin rubbed her temples. “I’m not qualified to take care of your past business, but now that you call me jie, I won’t allow you to look down on your life like that.” She finally realised why she had such a strange feeling from Shan Yatong’s words. It was because in his words, he did not cherish life.
“Yuxin-jie, I will not waste my life.” Shan Yatong could see what she had misunderstood, and helplessly tried to explain himself, “I just decided to live a little more casually.” Taking back his hand, he glanced at the inconspicuous scar on his wrist. “This was something done by the past-Shan Yatong. It has nothing to do with me now.”
Listening to his unconcerned tone, it seemed that he really didn’t care about those past events. Lin Yuxin closed her eyes. “Let me know once we arrive.”
Shan Yatong sighed softly and stopped talking. The car gradually grew quiet. He closed his eyes, hiding his weariness.
Xiao Qishen drove silently until they reached the familiar neighborhood. The red Ferrari drove directly into the parking lot without any questions from the security guards. When he stopped the car, he turned back to the two people, both of whom had their eyes closed. He said, “We’ve arrived.”
Shan Yatong’s eyes snapped open. Apparently he had not fallen asleep. Beside him, Lin Yuxin also opened her eyes, and glanced at him. “I didn’t expect Yatong to live in this kind of ordinary neighborhood.”
Shan Yatong’s mouth twitched. “Yuxin-jie, I bought this two-bedroom house only after scrimping and living frugally, saving up money after signing on with Flying Entertainment.”
Lin Yuxin saw the bitter expression on the teenager’s face, and felt a little better. Looking up at the ordinary building with over twenty floors, the corners of her mouth turned up slightly. “You won’t be living here in the future.”
Shan Yatong didn’t even ask why. He led them to the elevator, and then to his home. He tossed his keys onto the coffee table. “Make yourselves comfortable. I’ll get the wine glasses.”
“I’ll come with you,” Xiao Qishen said, hurriedly following behind Shan Yatong.
Lin Yuxin looked around at the simple living room. Simple and stylish, there were no messy posters, and it was also not as spotless as you would expect.
Wearing a pair of woolly slippers, she sat down on an armchair. She could see Xiao Qishen in the kitchen smiling genuinely at the teenager, who had little expression on his face. Xiao Qishen was taking three tall glasses out of the cupboard, and rinsing them under the tap.
Even from this distance, Lin Yuxin could see the tenderness on Xiao Qishen’s face. It was a tenderness she had never seen before, and she suddenly understood that this time, Xiao Qishen was serious. He wasn’t playing around like he usually would.
Frowning slightly, Lin Yuxin looked at the teenager’s indifferent profile for a long time. Averting her gaze, she sighed softly.
Bang. The sound of a glass smashing on the floor came from the kitchen. Glancing up, she could see Emperor Xiao smiling guiltily at the teenager.
The teenager looked at Emperor Xiao with pity. “It’s okay, I still have two sets of wine glasses here. Why don’t you practice washing things in the future, and work out some more.” The look on his face was like he was looking at a pitiful man with no common sense in life.
“Chi!” Lin Yuxin couldn’t help laughing.
Edited by Kyou
Lol.. I bet that left emperor xiao speechless 😢😢
Thanks for the chapter ♥️♥️
Thanks for the chapter!
that was nice line
thanks for the chapter~
I’m wondering why she chose the young newcomers house to go drink and grieve at…
thanks for the chapter <3
To avoid familiar places. Changing the scenery to something completely new can help pull you out of a funk, particularly if you heard the bad news at home. Until you process it, you probably don’t want to return to the place where you learned of it, but they also can’t just go to a normal bar and get blackout drunk.
This was a Lovely and sad chapter. It was very thoughtful, I feel.
Thank you for the chapters!! 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙
These 3 are getting cuter together 🙂