It was a kiss that felt like it would devour him.
No, perhaps it wasn’t a kiss, but more of an extension of a brawl. It was a kiss so brutal and rude that it felt like a collision. The moment their lips met, Yoon Taehee felt a huge shiver run through his entire body. It was like being struck in the back of the head with a strong impact.
The hand that gripped Jaegyeom’s collar tightly made its bone protrude.
Jaegyeom, who had closed his eyes tightly in anticipation of an incoming punch, opened his eyes in shock at the lips that collided with him. He was so shocked that he even forgot to breathe and was frozen in place. The delicate lips were swallowed, and bitten violently. It was the first time in his life that he had ever kissed another person. Jaegyeom’s shoulder, which had been frozen in a dazed state, belatedly flinched.
“Ugh…”
Jaegyeom recoiled like he had been burned with fire and hurriedly pulled his body back. However, the strong grip on his collar did not release him easily. He resisted strongly and pushed Yoon Taehee’s shoulder with all his strength. When the gap barely opened, Jaegyeom suddenly slapped Yoon Taehee on the cheek.
Slap-!
Yoon Taehee’s head turned violently with a sharp sound of impact. Jaegyeom was shocked and took a deep breath. He was also surprised, realizing what he had done. He had just laden spiritual energy in his slap. His hand reflexively shot out before he even recognized the situation, but he had not intended to hit him so hard with energy.
A clear look of bewilderment appeared on Jaegyeom’s face.
Moreover, it happened to be the same side he had hit earlier in the afternoon in the Chief’s office. Startled, he looked down at his hands, which were shaking slightly. His mind had turned completely blank and he had stopped thinking for a long time. The shock of Yoon Taehee’s kiss took over him, but he was also surprised by himself for hitting him with such forceful spiritual energy…
“Uh… That, uh…”
Jaegyeom looked down with a dumbfounded face.
What on earth just happened? They had been definitely fighting, but…
His chest heaved sharply. Thump thump, a strong sound spread to the soles of his feet. Jaegyeom, who was standing there with a vacant expression, raised his head shakily. Yoon Taehee stood stiff in the same posture with his head turned to the side while his lips were split from the slap. Just when Jaegyeom was staring blankly at Yoon Taehee with his mouth open, the latter’s eyes moved slowly and focused on him.
Their gazes met precisely in the air.
“…”
“…”
It was as if time had stopped.
Jaegyeom and Yoon Taehee couldn’t take their eyes off each other, as if they were being held captive by something. Chirp, chirp… The sound of insects crawled in the long silence that flowed between them. The faint light from the street lamps outlined the two figures standing on the dark plain. The smell of damp earth, the cool night air, the sound of leaves shaking in the occasional wind… Everything that touched their senses felt unreal.
Yoon Taehee, who was staring at Jaegyeom with his head turned to the side, slowly raised his hand at some point, and carelessly wiped the blood from his burst lip with the back of his hand.
“…”
Jaegyeom, who was standing there confused and not knowing what to do, began to stagger backward. He turned around and tried to leave, but somehow his foot got caught, or his legs gave out or something, and he stumbled. With a thud, he fell backward. When he regained his senses, Yoon Taehee was right in front of him.
He extended his hand towards Jaegyeom.
As a passing thought, Jaegyeom thought that Yoon Taehee was trying to help him up. However, his expectations were spectacularly wrong. Rather than helping Jaegyeom up, Yoon Taehee grabbed him by both shoulders and knocked him down on the grass. He looked up at him in confusion. Unlike before, this time Yoon Taehee was on top of Jaegyeom. The grass that touched his back was damp and wet.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
“Q- ktja jgf sbe vblcu? Z- w- wbnf…”
Mffilcu j ragjcuf rfcrf bo mglrlr, Ajfusfbw raeaafgfv ogjcalmjiis jcv aglfv ab qert Tbbc Kjftff jkjs. Lbkfnfg, tf vlv cba fnfc yevuf. Ajfusfbw’r ifur kfgf rtjxlcu yfcfjat Tbbc Kjftff’r kjlra, ktfgf tf kjr rlaalcu. Tbbc Kjftff ribkis ibkfgfv tlr eqqfg ybvs.
“Po sbe vbc’a ufa bea bo atf kjs, P- P’ii tla sbe klat rqlglaeji fcfgus, wbnf…”
The conversation couldn’t continue.
“Fine, do as you wish.”
With those words, Yoon Taehee cupped both Jaegyeom’s cheeks and kissed him again. Their lips touched briefly before parting slowly. Jaegyeom took a deep breath as he looked up at Yoon Taehee with his eyes wide open as if he couldn’t believe it. Yoon Taehee gathered Jaegyeom’s wrists in one hand, grabbed them, and pressed them down hard over his head. He grabbed his chin with his free hand and their lips crashed again.
The scent of perfume mixed with breath engulfed them like a tidal wave. The taste of metallic blood, unknown to whom it belonged, spread in his mouth. His legs writhed on the grass as if in turmoil. Flowers and grass were randomly crushed by shoe soles. The heated breath was tangled in a mess. As he was helplessly sucking his lips, something invaded Jaegyeom’s mouth. At the same time, Jaegyeom’s eyes twitched. An unfamiliar electric current scratching his spine.
“Uh, uh…”
Their tongue was entangled densely. Jaegyeom’s fingers gripped tightly. The broken wound inside his mouth stung as if it were being bitten. The sharp pain dulled hazily while his breathing became irregular. As Yoon Taehee’s head moved, Jaegyeom’s chin also followed helplessly.
It was a deep, long kiss that felt like forever.
Yoon Taehee slowly pulled his lips away. The sticky fluid that had adhered to their lips slowly dripped down. The strength in the grip on Jaegyeom’s wrists suddenly loosened. When Jaegyeom finally opened his closed eyes, Yoon Taehee was looking down at him with his hands on the ground. He was trapped in his arms with a distraught look on his face.
“…”
“…”
When their eyes met, Jaegyeom’s heart skipped a beat. His blood was pounding, his mind was spinning, and his breath was difficult. Could this be the great feeling of intimidation that Jeongju once warned him of?
His hands were shaking to the point of befuddlement. Suddenly he couldn’t remember anything, why he came here, why he was angry, why he was fighting with Yoon Taehee. He was not in the right state of mind, not in the right state of mind at all… That was the only thought that came to his mind. Jaegyeom grabbed Yoon Taehee’s back as if tearing off a piece of clothing to pull him away from him.
“You’re… s-strange.”
This was truly something that could only be described as strange. Suddenly everything around him felt strange. The magnificent night sky unfolding before his eyes was strange, the dotted starlight was strange, and even the cicadas that cried endlessly were strange.
And the strangest one among them was Yoon Taehee.
“… ”
Yoon Taehee tilted his head and buried his forehead in the back of Jaegyeom’s neck, as if he was being held in his arms. A heartbeat that they didn’t know who belonged to was pounding in the upper body that was touching each other.
“Me too…”
Yoon Taehee’s breath strangely broke on the back of his neck.
“Me too, I find you strange.”
Those words, spoken to oneself, sounded very strange.
Jaegyeom pushed him away with all his strength. The strange guy fell away obediently. Jaegyeom suddenly stood up and stumbled over the flower bed fence with unsteady steps and almost fell again. This time, it was clearly because his legs had lost strength.
Chirp… chirp…
Jaegyeom turned around and started running.
Although his foot stumbled several times, the boy did not stop. He ran and ran. From this unknown feeling, he wanted to somehow escape from this strange world.
And so, the boy turned his back on the moonlight and ran away.
***
Yoon Taehee’s house was a luxury apartment located not far from his main office. It was already past 2 am when he pressed the number key, and the door lock opened with a beeping sound. When he opened the door and entered, the entrance sensor light came on. Walking while loosening his tie, he first turned on the light in the living room.
The illuminated house was silent.
It was excessively spacious for living alone. Despite having many rooms, only two were actually used: the bedroom and dressing room. Because the furnishings were simple compared to the size of the house, the interior of the house was desolate and barren. This was especially true in the living room.
The spacious living room didn’t even have a typical TV, and instead a built-in bookcase filled one wall. The books on the shelf amounted to thousands, roughly estimated. And on the other side was a large leather sofa that could accommodate several people. There was another pile of books in one corner of the sofa.
Because he lived on a rather high floor, the night view of Seoul could be seen at a glance through the living room window. It was a sophisticated view that could momentarily captivate one’s admiration, but Yoon Taehee passed by the living room with an expressionless face. The first place he headed to was the bathroom.
He had to take a shower first. He was in terrible shape after rolling around in the grass and flower bed. The expensive suit that had been neatly pressed just before leaving the headquarters was now covered in dirt, completely crumpled and unclean.
After taking a hot shower, Yoon Taehee changed his clothes into what he usually wore at home. He was wearing a large black plain t-shirt and checkered pajama pants. After changing into comfortable clothes, he headed to the kitchen, drying his wet hair with his towel.
He took out a glass cup of the appropriate size and then opened the refrigerator. All he had in his double-door refrigerator was a pack of cherry tomatoes, several bottles of soju, and a few canned drinks. Yoon Taehee poured half of the soju and half of the soft drink into the glass. He wanted to go to bed early today, even if it was because of the alcohol. He also took out some ice cubes and floated them around.
“Ah…”
Yoon Taehee, who was sipping the mixed drink as he walked toward his living room, suddenly made a face. He forgot there was a cut on his mouth. As soon as the alcohol touched the place, his wound stung.
“…”
Yoon Taehee paused for a moment, picked up his cup and went to his bookshelf as usual. He put the book on the shelf and turned on the radio that was left on the remaining spot. A low melody played in the quiet house as if he was dead. The radio was always tuned to the classical channel. The reason he insisted on only this channel was because, unlike other channels, there were no advertisements and the host did not talk much.
Perhaps because it was late at night, a soothing song played on the radio.
He picked up whatever book he could get his hands on and then sat on the sofa wearing round-rimmed glasses. Although he was tired, he did not feel like falling asleep yet, so he decided to read a book until he felt the effects of the alcohol. He had been so busy with work that he did not have time to read.
Yoon Taehee placed a cushion on his back and put one leg up in a comfortable leaning position. He then slowly began to leaf through his book as he sipped his drink sparingly. Since he had stopped reading midway, the flow was interrupted, and his memory was fuzzy.
He picked the page he had previously put the post-it note on and skimmed over it. Then the context he had missed came back to him. Yoon Taehee began to read the sentence step by step from where he had stopped. The pupils visible through the glasses were dark.
“Mr. Nicolat, I am now in a great whirlpool. It is a statement that I am facing great danger. It was during our last meeting. Like I told you before, every now and then, I feel like a completely different person.
“Alas, I have reached a point where I cannot recognize my face even when I look in the mirror. Wise Mr. Nicolat, do you know what I mean?
“Everything started after I met ‘him’. ‘He’ was actually a harbinger of ruin. What a disgrace that I cannot be myself! I ended up being eaten by my aspirations. In the end, I was swallowed up by desire. I lost my ego in the fierce whirlpool. Teacher, how can this be called love?
“Is this love? Love is a disease called destruction, punishment, and hardship. Robert can no longer be Robert. I am falling apart in a violent whirlpool. It’s already been ruined for a long time. Because I want ‘him’ more than myself…
“Every night, I go to sleep praying. I desperately hope that tomorrow will come. Because I want ‘him’! But I hope that tomorrow will be the destruction of this world. Because I cannot have ‘him’! What is this mysterious force that makes life and death? What is this that comes disguised as fear? I’m afraid. I don’t know where this storm is taking me…”
Yoon Taehee, who was reading the sentences, suddenly closed the book. His face was extremely cold and expressionless.
“…”
He took off his glasses and put then on the book cover and rubbed his eyebrows and then closed his eyes for a moment.
Fuck. I think I chose the wrong book.
He didn’t open the book to do this. The peaceful melody once again got on his nerves.
The reason why Yoon Taehee devoted himself to books over the years was simple. Regardless of enjoyment, there was always a clue in books. Through repeated readings of the same sentences, Yoon Taehee had learned from several experiences that sometimes words could become ‘coordinates.’ It was only up to him to find and discover the answer, and in this way, he found his own answer to any difficult problem.
It was the same this time too.
He was curious about where the impulse originated. There was no reason why it had to be ‘you’, but the desire for it to be ‘you’ was what created the impulse. So, what should he call that feeling?
One day, Yoon Taehee asked himself.
It was a very difficult question, and the first answer Yoon Taehee gave was wrong. But now he felt like he knew what the answer was. No, perhaps he had vaguely sensed it since some time ago. However, he wanted to delay answering forever. Like this, he wanted to hide it deep in a hazy fog.
It came from an instinctive sense of crisis.
‘He’ was actually a harbinger of ruin.
‘You’ might be the answer I should never guess.
Yoon Taehee emptied the alcohol in the glass cup in one go.
“Ah…”
As expected, it was incredibly bitter.
Pr: K
Thank you!
Jaegyeom is just like me running away instead of solving the problem at hand 😭😭
Thank you for he chapterrr ❤
Really nice hearing about Taehees thoughts. Thanks for the chapter!