After Getting Gayified, I Swore Off Parody MashupsCh38 - The 10,000 layers of Jiang Ran’s trickery

Title references this japanese commercial  – link

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My spirit and soul had toppled head over heels. Jiang Ran hauled me back to the hotel, where I was immediately tossed to the bed.

Seizing the opportunity, Jiang Ran lay beside me. His eyes locked onto me.

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

I hugged the little blankie to myself, shivering.

I’m screwed, I’m so screwed. According to my years of experience writing literature, this mega evil beast with European blood is going to devour me. S0GUDo

Is this the moment that my great 26 years, 8 months, 13 days, 19 hours, and 7 seconds journey of singledom comes to an end?

“What is Teacher Mo thinking of? You’re blushing so much.”

He leaned over and sucked my earlobe.

WTS! I shuddered violently, my head and body burrowing into the nest of quilts with a shock.

Jiang Ran heartlessly laughed. “You’re so coherent and cogent when it comes to your writing, but why is it that you’re so shy when it comes to doing it yourself?”

Tch. I rolled my eyes.

“Bastard, you don’t understand literary creation!” I roared. “It’s because I don’t have any practical experience that I can write without any restraint.” But I didn’t expect Jiang Ran’s giant pig trotter to suddenly wrap around my old waist.

The next second, Jiang Ran followed up, “Then, Mdm. Ji’er, which extra do you want to try tonight?” UZ94rv

W T F ? ?

When I heard this, gooseflesh broke out across my back. A shiver ran up my spine.

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Jiang Ran, h-h-h-he! He had actually read the web-version extras?

He couldn’t have casually followed my parking lot account in passing, could he??

Holy shit. I’m doomed.

The me who has spent my whole life eating, mucking around, and waiting for my death day, am surely not as strong as my darling shou who is young and vigorous and battle-tested. K47OlZ

If all those lawless moves were used on me…

I’m going to get my spine snapped in half by Jiang Ran, hey!!!

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We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

I thought that what I would receive today would be sweet, sweet love; I didn’t expect that what I would actually receive was a death flag.

Cgf sbe xlvvlcu wf??

P’w atf oijrtlfra qeq lc UFDX, ktja xlcv bo uec tjnf P cfnfg obeuta klat? Aljcu Ejc lr cbatlcu ab wf!

P aklrafv ws ybvs, jaafwqalcu ab fzaglmjaf wsrfio ogbw Aljcu Ejc’r fwygjmf. Dea ecfzqfmafvis, tf lcafcrlolfv tlr foobgar, mijwqlcu tlr ifur jgbecv wf. mAv3q5

Lf ragbxfv ws qgfmlber tfjv. “Gbc’a wjxf j oerr. P mjc’a yfjg ab tega sbe yfobgf sbeg kbecv tfjir.”

And this time, I was completely eaten to death.

Just like a large grilled sausage in a bun, both hot and dogdamned, I lost all desire to live.

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Eek, I can’t move.

His evil talons took the chance to wander across my body, so teasing and provocative that my lil’ Yao raised its head.

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“Have you have enough of hugging me yet…” Even my voice had softened.

“It wasn’t easy for me to have reeled you into my bed, how can I have enough yet?”

However, he relaxed his hold on me slightly and straightened my head, then tapped it a few times. 1ui6E7

“Mdm. Ji’er you really look like that little yellow chicken now, your face is completely flushed.”

“Fuck off, fuck off, fuck off. To hell with the yellow chicken!” I roared at him angrily with all my strength.

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Hold up. What the heck did you just say?

It wasn’t easy to have swindled me into bed??

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“Jiang Ran, did you frigging know from long ago that I was the one who wrote Pisces?”

“Hm?” Jiang Ran’s eyes crinkled as he looked at me. “Teacher Mo reacts very quickly.”

?? I stared at him, wide-eyed and incredulous.

Jiang Ran unhurriedly spoke, “I had already guessed who you were when Pisces was still being serialised. I was afraid that you would starve to death, so I created three accounts to take turns to send you gifts and leave comments for you every day to avoid rousing your suspicion.” d8gMbi

Har??

Which meant to say, the three accounts with the highest contributions on laozi’s leaderboard were all him?

Wts, back then, I had thought that I was being sponsored by some rich middle-aged woman. I even told myself that it wouldn’t be too much for laozi to pledge myself in gratitude to repay this great kindness.

I see now that my words turned out to be (tragically) prophetic. pZCr9u

Because I’m really lying in Jiang Ran’s bleeping bed now.

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While I was still caught in befuddlement, Jiang Ran spoke again, “Actually, I was also the one who got the company to sign the rights for your book. I originally wanted to bait you over first, then slowly sway you. I didn’t expect that you’d actually send your resume over…” moI8gf

Here, Jiang Ran was unable to hold back his laughter. He propped up his body and caressed my face. “I forgot to interview you. How is it, was it interesting acting in a danmei novel that you wrote?”

I felt as if I was struck by five lightning bolts at once.

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Interesting??? Are you an idiot?

Jiang Ran, you’re a bastardly, mega evil actor—you actually used your peak acting technique to fool laozi upside down! 7DIgQZ

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“Th-then. Did you also know of my account in the parody section?”

“Mm-hmm.” Jiang Ran firmly nodded. His smile was mild, “I’ve mentioned it to you. When I was filming that drama, I was treated very badly. At first, when I saw that video you made of me, it was actually rather discomfiting…” Wyatqs

At this, he paused for a while.

Remembering the startling wound on his shoulder, my heart clenched.

I didn’t expect that my casual spoof would actually touch on the old wounds of another person.

“I explained that to you before, I didn’t do it with the intention to smear your reputation, really. I’m sorry.” I sat up from the bed, looking at him earnestly. 8QVHYd

“Pfft…” The next second, Jiang Ran’s act broke. His eyes crinkled in a smile again. “I don’t mean to scold you. Thanks to that video, I was able to recognise your voice instantly when I heard it at the company.”

“And so I began to wonder. What would your reaction be if you saw yourself being made into a video?”

Har? At this, I almost catapulted off the bed. “Then that new account in the parody section is your doing?”

“Not completely.” Jiang Ran blinked. He said helplessly, “I don’t know how to do those. Our agents cut them for me.” 2wJP9j

Holy shit, this bastard actually conspired with our agents to gay me?!

I’ll have you know, that’s premeditated and organised crime!

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Way overboard. He’s too much of a bastard.

Jiang Ran must have calculated that I’ve been eaten to death by him already, so now he was confessing all his crimes in one fell swoop.

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

Hell, this is the twistedness of humanity and the ruin of morality!

[Bleeping] [bleep], F@&#%$!… jVk0o2

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Yet Jiang Ran couldn’t stop laughing. He slung an arm around my waist and pulled me into his lap.

“Hey!!” GeDgwR

Jiang Ran cupped my head and smoothed my bristling fur. “It’s just as I expected. An angry Teacher Mo is too cute.”

?? Wha? How did I, Mo Shuyao, a dignified and impressive young man, turn into your pet cat?

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I raised my elbow and hit him. “Getlostgetlost! I’m going to bed. Go find somewhere and cool yourself off.”

After saying this, I flipped over, snatching away all the quilts on the bed, rolling myself into a burrito.

Hah. Jiang Ran, you’d better don’t think of sleeping on the same bed as me.

But what I didn’t expect was that he would actually lie down next to me. dE4WIg

“The fastest place to cool off should be somewhere without quilts, right?”

!!!

The lights in the room went out.

Jiang Ran’s giant pig trotter closed in again. FxVfYR

“Mo Shuyao…” He whispered in my ear. “I warned you not to make a fuss. After all, when it comes to the person I like, I’m no gentleman.”

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[Misc notes: Mo Ji, likes eating chicken]