617
I was awoken by my phone the next day. Before I could fully sober up, my agent was already roaring in my ears, “Mo Shuyao, exactly how many Weibo accounts do you have? What on earth are you trying to do, you’re going to be the death of me!”
“……” Me, doubt. Was it really possible that I had dropped yet another vest again?
But there’s no way! This time, I made sure to check there was no mistake before posting the Weibo.
As I didn’t say anything, my agent went on, “I’m already on the way over, you can search it up yourself!”
618
In agony, I opened my Weibo, sweeping down from the top of the list.
Thus I finally found my name at the bottom of the list.
I was extremely moved. Frigging moved TTM. Because this time, my name wasn’t hanging on the number 1 of the hot searches, but silently drooping from the tail end.
On today’s trending topics: #Mo Shuyao, exactly how many vests do you have!!#
I could tell that the netizens had eaten whales with how wide their jaws had dropped.
So, tell me. What the hell did laozi do wrong this time??
619
After jabbing into the tag, I found two photos placed side to side.
The left side was the photo that I had helped Jiang Ran take the previous morning, and the right side was a photo that I had taken at night. There were even many red circles comparing them.
???
I shuddered, vaguely getting an ominous feeling. In my head, I went, ‘Crap.’
I expanded the photos for a better look—
Such enough, it was the hospital decor…
My eyeballs almost popped out of their sockets.
Goddamnit! Why did this happen!
A great thinker told us that all matter exists in a unity of absolute motion and relative rest, so why was there a paradox when it came to me??
Could this be… phil♂sophy
620
Hard. Life is too hard.
Do fangirls have microscopes for eyes nowadays?
621
While that netizen remained undecided in their comparison of the two pictures, another warmhearted citizen made an appearance.
They used the audio from the video to do a comparison to the audio from the livestream.
Alright, the hammer has really fallen this time.
I dropped another vest again.
I entered the hot search again.
The hell, is this what they mean by human suffering on earth?
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
622
Vbwfatlcu fnfc wbgf afggloslcu bmmeggfv ab wf.
P kjr j ugjccs bo qjgbvs wjrteqr. P tjv vlrrfmafv rb wjcs agjrts oliwr, rqbbofv rb wjcs reqfgrajgr, jcufglcu atf tfjnfcr, atf fjgat, atf jawbrqtfgf…
P’w rmgfkfv ubv P’w rb rmgfkfv! Zs ugfja foobgar ab mifjg eq ws ubbv cjwf tjnf abqqifv abvjs!!
623
I hurriedly logged into my celebrity account, yet found that my follower count had surged by several million fans.
The new fans helped me clear up the muddied waters:
> Teacher Mo, you’re so on point with your roasting, garbage films deserve to be criticised! The videos you make are amazing, I liked, commented, and shared them all~
> I look forward to your TV debut. I’m sure you’ll blow us away [heart]
Jiang Ran’s fans gave me an apology:
> Sorry Old Mo, we shouldn’t have reported your video. I trust that this must be the love that extends into the abyss that has naturally turned black.
> Old Mo, I’ve been your fan since you first started out, your loyal leg pendant! Now I unilaterally declare my promotion from the president of Old Mo’s Fan Association to president of Mo Shuyao Shakes the World Fan Association.
And what was the most terrifying—that group of burning book girls had turned into unidentified life forms in their insanity:
> AHHH BURNING BOOK IS RIO!
> It turns out that Teacher Mo and President Ran go so far back! AHHH, they’ve long been in the sack together!
> Teacher Mo, I’ll give you one minute; you’d better hand over your handcrafted Love MV right now, immediately, asap! I want to watch it at your wedding!
624
AHHH. Sorry. I’m going insane too.
625
I flung my phone away, bonking Jiang Ran with it by accident.
“Un…” His shoulder flinched. He slowly opened his eyes. “What happened? Who upset you?”
I could say nothing.
He blinked doubtfully.
We gazed at each other awkwardly.
626
Coincidentally, Jiang Ran’s agent burst over at this moment. Seeing the congealed atmosphere in the ward, he hastily said, “What happened? Don’t pull such a bitter, vengeful look.”
Jiang Ran sat up from the bed. “Brother Cheng, what is going on?”
My agent scratched his head. “It’s nothing much. Just that Brother Shuyao dropped another vest again.”
“Vest?” Jiang Ran frowned. “What garment is that? Isn’t he wearing a shirt?”
At this, I found it both angering and laughable at the same time; I wanted to cry but no tears came.
My agent also smiled. “Nevermind. Three months ago, wasn’t there that content-creator who had made a parody mashup of you and got his account suspended? I didn’t really expect it to be Brother Shuyao, what a coincidence…”
Coincidence, your head! This was the narrow as hell road that enemies were bound to meet on!
I hurriedly leapt over to cover his mouth. Unfortunately, I was a step too late.
Jiang Ran squinted his eyes. Doubt was written across his entire face. “Oh, that? I have a vague impression of it, if I’m not wrong, my fans even scolded him? That person actually turned out to be you?”
“I…” I was so pissed that my face had turned green, but I still pretended to give him an apology. “I didn’t have any intention to smear your reputation, it’s your fans who misunderstood.”
Following this, Jiang Ran smiled. “Why are you being so serious? I’m not scolding you. You’ve also mentioned it before, love that extends into the abyss naturally turns black.”
“Rightrightright!” My agent chimed in from the side. “I didn’t expect that Brother Shuyao had fallen for our President Jiang so early on. It’s truly a relationship predestined by the heavens!”
W T F ? ?
Buddy, what on earth are you trying to do?
627
I felt that his job wasn’t an agent but a golden wingman.
A gold-class gayifying number 1 wingman.
I knew it, Jiang Ran must have taught him. It was traceable to the same stock; a 100% authentic product.
628
While Jiang Ran was taking a shower, my agent pulled me to one side. “Brother Shuyao, exactly how many vests do you still have? How many awesome identities you’re hiding from us, ‘fess up.”
I flew off the handle. “None! This is the damn last one!”
Jiang Ran used a towel to wipe his face, turning over to look at us. “Brother Cheng, did the exposure of this account have any negative impact on Shuyao?”
“None, thank the lord. His original fans all climbed over the wall into the garden of his new account.” My agent was rather excited. “He’s quickly about to hit five million fans, the netizens are calling for him to do a livestream too.”
He nodded. “That’s good, then.”
“……” I was so pissed that neither words nor tears would come.
629
After returning to the ward, we had our breakfast.
I didn’t have much appetite. Jiang Ran, conversely, was full of energy.
He asked me, “Has the suspension on your account been lifted yet? What’s it called? I’ll search it up.”
“Screw off. Eat your food.”
Jiang Ran chortled. As he ate his porridge, he fiddled with his phone with one hand.
“The homepage of this app has a lot of videos about you. The famous mermaid scene and Hitler’s ranting? It looks fun.”
“Tch, stop looking! Eat your food, rest!”
I rushed over intending to grab his phone, but Jiang Ran leaned backwards, casually opening a video.
I heard a not-quite-familiar melody.
A large truck with my face printed on it slowly drove over.
A few foreigners surrounded it. “Teacher Mo! Teacher Mo! He’s mine! He’s mine!”
Wts, was this actually a Jinkela ad??
630
[A parody of the relevant ad. No english subs but good to watch for the vibes – link]
Fan#1 (pounding on the door): I want Teacher Mo, I want to march into the parody section, I must have Teacher Mo!
Fan#2 (brandishing fangs and claws): I want Teacher Mo, I want to become a crispy duck writer when I grow up, I must have Teacher Mo!
Jiang Ran (mediating): Don’t fight, don’t fight! What’s so good about Teacher Mo? Let me hear it?
Fan#1 (Tousen hand chop): With Teacher Mo on the broken platform to dissect lousy films and make spoofs, we can find our happy place!
Fan#2 (unimaginably excited): With Teacher Mo doing danmei, we can learn two hundred more new positions!
Fan#1: Talents are rare in this world. With Teacher Mo, the work he does is the equivalent of six!
Fan#2: With Teacher Mo, we have 18k words to nibble on daily, we’ll no longer need to knock our CP up! Hoho!
Jiang Ran (arms folded in thought): These little fans are so hard to fool! If I hand my wife over to them, who will cut my videos for me? No way will I hand him over! There are still too few Burning Book fanworks, we must roll the hay. All of you better forget about Teacher Mo, I’m going to get him to produce grain for me!
Har? What is this parody mashup?
Since when did I become Jiang Ran’s wife?
Before I could grab at the phone, the video continued to broadcast a lecherous line:
> When Jiang Ran has Teacher Mo, he can produce grain in the day and roll the hay in the night. When Jiang Ran has Teacher Mo, we will lack neither literary creation nor sporting entertainment! Double the yield, double the satisfaction!
> Ye~!!
631
“……”
How on earth did this video pass the censors??
Does Jiang Ran not understand it or is his skin just thick??
Even laozi’s face has turned red from listening to it already!
632
I snatched the phone in rage, and it was once again that familiar granny—
Has the CP I ship become official yet
Fuck. This bastard has already made a good number of parody mashups of Jiang Ran and me together!
Who is it under the skin??
How big of a grudge do you have against me????
633
“This video is quite interesting, why are you so angry?”
Jiang Ran had a hand over his mouth. After laughing a little, he started to cough again.
Hur hur. Whose fault was it for laughing so happily just now, this is your retribution.
I shouldn’t have waited upon you so well. Now that you’re feeling better, you’re thinking of gaying me again!
I dashed up and slapped the oxygen mask over his mouth.
“Mmf?” Jiang Ran looked at me in confusion.
I lowered the bed.
“Go to sleep right now. You’re not allowed to watch any more parody mashups, especially those of you and me!”
[evil dragon roar.jpg]
How is it that everyone automatically assume he’s gay?
Thanks for the chapter <3
😂
thanks for the chapter ♡
😆 Thank you for the chapter 🤍
Guys, I have a premonition – Is this new parody mashup account headed by that 3rd male lead Wen Zhao? 23333
It would be so funny if that 2nd(?) male lead is the one behind the vest 😂 that little fanboy kid