The rain fell heavily from the sky and the wind blew in his face, making it hard to breathe. Ying Qianqiu kissed Ji Ning deeply, stealing the oxygen from his chest. Feeling suffocated by the oppressive kiss, the trembling of his body became more and more obvious.
All of Ji Ning’s thoughts disappeared from his head. He could barely believe what was happening and even forgot to struggle.
Ying Qianqiu was actually kissing him. Just like that, without any warning…could it be that he likes him? But he’d never given that impression, why hadn’t he realised?
And this wasn’t even the first time this had happened today. His Senior, Fu Qinghan, had kissed his forehead, and his Junior, Ark, had directly confessed to him! What day was it today, why was he being seduced by his friends one after another?
If he didn’t know them so well, Ji Ning would have suspected they were playing a trick on him. Even if they were being sincere, Ying Qianqiu’s behaviour was too out of character. He’d suddenly changed from his usual cold forbearance to kiss him so deeply, as if he was trying to vent out all his emotions in one move.
“…”
After an unknown length of time passed, Ying Qianqiu allowed a slight distance between them. He stroked Ji Ning’s face, looking into his eyes.
The rain was still pouring down, the streetlamps reflecting off the wet pavement. Ji Ning breathed heavily, his vision a little blurry. It was difficult to see the expression on Ying Qianqiu’s face but he could clearly see his dark eyes.
His gaze suddenly made Ji Ning think of Fu Qinghan and Ark. The feelings they caused him were very similar. For some reason, he felt flustered rather then disgusted by the kiss, and when Ying Qianqiu tried to step back, he grabbed onto his sleeve without thinking.
But doing this was like responding to Ying Qianqiu. Ji Ning quickly released his grip in embarrassment, but Ying Qianqiu carefully held on to his fingertips.
“I’m sorry, I was wrong.”
Ying Qianqiu’s voice was low as he spoke with his head lowered.
“But…I have always liked you.”
“I don’t need you to respond, I just want you to know, that’s all.”
“…”
Ji Ning’s heart clenched, but he didn’t know what to say. The rain continued to drip down his face. When Ying Qianqiu saw this, he wiped the water away from his cheeks and said, “Go back.”
Ji Ning’s body was frozen from the rain, making it difficult to think about anything, but his restless heart still thundered in his chest. In a daze, he picked up the fallen umbrella and followed behind Ying Qianqiu back to the dormitory.
By the time they returned, Qin Ruwang and Huo Wuling had already come back. Qin Ruwang looked a little surprised by their dishevelled appearances and went to fill a hot bath for them. Huo Wuling sat on the steps of his bed, dangling one leg in a bored manner as he rested his jaw on one hand and looked down on them without speaking.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
Their dormitory had its own bathroom which included a shower. Ji Ning went in first and rinsed himself with warm water, moving as quickly as possible so Ying Qianqiu could go after him. However, just as he was drying his hair, about to leave the bathroom, he heard Huo Wuling’s voice.
“Vb, sbe’gf ulnlcu lc jr kfii?”
Al Rlcu bqfcfv atf yjatgbbw vbbg j mgjmx jcv rjk atja Leb Qeilcu tjv mbwf vbkc ogbw atf ijvvfg ab ifjc jujlcra atf yfvqbra klat tlr jgwr obivfv. Lf rwlifv ja Tlcu Hljcdle, yea la kjr j rtjgq jcv ecoglfcvis fzqgfrrlbc.
“P vbc’a mjgf lo sbe’gf kliilcu ab rjmglolmf sbegrfio obg atf yfcfola bo batfgr,” Leb Qeilcu rjlv, “P’ii cfnfg jmxcbkifvuf tlw. P jw bcis wsrfio.”
After he finished speaking, he walked out of the dormitory. Not knowing what to do, Ji Ning retreated into the bathroom to avoid bumping into him, but Huo Wuling didn’t even glance his way.
“I’ve finished showering, it’s your turn Qianqiu.”
Ji Ning felt that Huo Wuling’s words were strange, but he didn’t dwell on them too much. He opened the bathroom door and nodded towards Ying Qianqiu. Because of what had happened just now, his expression appeared a little unnatural.
Ying Qianqiu had already regained his usual expression, remaining calm in comparison with Ji Ning’s discomfort. As he passed Ji Ning, he raised his hand and gently stroked his hair.
Click.
The door closed. Ying Qianqiu took off his soaked clothes and stood beneath the shower. Thinking of Huo Wuling’s passionate words, his lips hooked up into a smile and he closed his eyes.
At first, he felt the same way Huo Wuling did and was reluctant to believe that he was related to the identity of ‘Jiang Che’ in any way. However, after receiving the memories of Fu Qinghan and Ark one after another, he knew that his state of mind was changing and he could faintly sense there was indeed something missing in himself.
If each of them represented a part of Jiang Che, then perhaps he represented the time when Jiang Che was young, his most passionate and intense love for Ji Ning.
That was why the time he spent with his little one was so sweet, and why losing him left an unbearable ache in his soul.
He wanted to feel more than this. A more complete understanding of love, whether it was the first budding signs of love, its struggle and pain, joy and sadness, anger and jealousy…All these emotions, it was only when they came together that he could give all his love.
Ying Qianqiu opened his eyes and turned off the shower. He dressed himself, then walked out of the bathroom. Seeing Ji Ning’s back as he sat at his desk, his expression softened and he smiled gently.
He hoped that one day his Xiaoxiao could fall in love with the complete version of him.
The night was peaceful, at least on the surface. Ji Ning continued to revise his thesis and sent a lot of texts to the theatre club’s group chat. Before he went to bed, he didn’t speak much with his roommates and the dormitory was very quiet.
In comparison with the peaceful room, Ji Ning’s heart was a mess. He thought about what happened during the day, his attention divided between his phone and Ying Qianqiu. Occasionally, Ying Qianqiu would catch him staring at him and he would look away in embarrassment, feeling ashamed of himself.
When it was finally time to turn off the lights, Ji Ning lay back on his bed, wondering how to deal with those confessions. He briefly wondered why Huo Wuling hadn’t come back yet, before he drifted off to sleep. He didn’t wake up until his phone’s alarm started ringing.
Ji Ning fumbled to turn the alarm off, then sat up slowly. However, when he opened his eyes, he almost screamed – which was the kind of reaction anyone would have had if they saw a dark figure silently sitting beside their bed!
“What are you doing?”
Ji Ning was so shocked he forgot about the argument they were having. The first thing he’d seen when he’d opened his eyes was Huo Wuling sat on the steps to his bed like a ghost. He wasn’t even sure how long he’d been there, watching him.
“I’m looking at you…”
Huo Wuling tilted his head, his beautiful face full of affection. His tone was light, but his next words hit Ji Ning like a shower of ice water.
“How do you want them to like you Ningning?”
Did Huo Wuling know about Qianqiu’s confession?
Ji Ning glanced around the dormitory uneasily, but neither Ying Qianqiu nor Qin Ruwang were there. He knew that Ying Qianqiu wasn’t the kind of person who would speak about this kind of thing to others, so he wondered if Huo Wuling was referring to something else.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Ji Ning quickly denied. He moved to the edge of the bed and kicked Huo Wuling with his bare feet, “Move, let me go down.”
Huo Wuling grabbed his ankle and pushed his legs back on the bed, pressing his entire body weight down on Ji Ning when he angrily tried to sit up. Although he hadn’t stopped smiling, his eyes were dark and he stared at Ji Ning without saying a word.
“Huo Wuling!”
Ji Ning was held down, unable to move, so he could only call Huo Wuling’s name in anger, “What the hell are you doing? Do you want to hit me again?”
“I want to kiss you.” Huo Wuling looked him directly in the eyes as he spoke.
“What?” Ji Ning thought he must have heard him wrong.
“But I can’t…”
Huo Wuling didn’t answer his question, just muttered a few words to himself before getting off him and straightening the collar of his pyjamas. He jumped off Ji Ning’s bed and walked into the bathroom. From beginning to end, his behaviour was so strange that Ji Ning couldn’t find any logic in his actions.
“What are you thinking?”
Ji Ning muttered to himself, and got out of bed in a sullen mood. Huo Wuling’s behaviour was too bizarre. He didn’t know whether the two of them were still in a cold war, but unless Huo Wuling apologised first, he would never forgive him.
Ji Ning’s mood didn’t improve until he remembered he was going out to watch a movie with his brother, Ozer. As he waited for Huo Wuling to leave the bathroom, he sent several texts to Ozer, as well as Ying Qianqiu.
Ying Qianqiu told him he had to go home urgently and couldn’t come to his afternoon classes, so he asked Ji Ning to help him request for leave.
As it was Friday, this meant Ying Qianqiu wouldn’t be coming back until next week. Ji Ning responded positively, but he wasn’t sure whether he should bring up what happened last night. Ji Ning hesitated, but as Ying Qianqiu hadn’t mentioned it in his message, he finally decided not to mention it either.
When it was time for him to meet Ozer, Ji Ning tidied up and walked downstairs. Ozer was already waiting for him when he got there.
Ozer was a military graduate, tall and strong. His black coat contrasted with his blonde hair, and with his handsome appearance, he was particularly eye catching and Ji Ning spotted him immediately.
“Ge!”
Ji Ning called to Ozer, running over. Ozer seemed slightly startled by the sound of his voice and said to him, “Call for me again.”
“?” Ji Ning blinked, but called out obediently, “Ge…what’s the matter?”
Ozer shook his head, smiling, “Call me ‘gege’ today. I like it when you call me that.”
Ji Ning felt a little resistant. He was already so old, it was too childish to call him ‘gege’. But today was his brother’s treat, all he had to do was eat and drink. Of course he had to listen to the sponsor’s words, so he responded, “Okay gege.”
“Good.”
Ozer rubbed his hair gently and the two of them walked out of the university together. Although Ozer had come by car, there was a commercial street just outside the university. It had a range of shops and restaurants, as well as an entertainment centre with a cinema, so there was no need for them to drive anywhere else.
When they got to the theatre, Ozer asked him what movie he wanted to see. Ji Ning had already planned it in his head and said with a smile, “I want to see ‘We’ll meet again some day’ with Gu Chen as the male lead. I’ve always liked him so much, so of course it…gege?”
Ji Ning slowly trailed off and he suddenly felt nervous by how quickly Ozer’s expression had turned sour.
I’m not strong enough, the reason Ying Qianqiu gave in was so he could love Ji Ning more instead of just being a single shard of Jiang Che’s love – he is fine with potentially losing everything that makes him an individual just so he can love Ji Ning with more of his being, I just-
The way love is portrayed in this novel makes my heart hurt. There is just so much sincerity shown in ‘The only version of myself that I want to be is the one that can love you the most.’
Huo Wuling’s struggle is also heartbreaking, he is so determined to prove he’s his own person, but I think he’s already aware…
MY HEART IS POURING OUT FOR YOU YING QIANQIU!! 😭 YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING!!!!! I swear to god I’m just thrashing about my heart is in pain 😭😭😭😭
I’m so sorry °՞(ᗒᗣᗕ)՞°!! I thought this was a soft and sweet romance – I was tricked too!!
I agree with you… How they portray every bits of love Jiang Che have for Ji Ning is bitter sweet.
I’m crying every other chapter (T⌓T)!!
Huo wuling…At first, I despised you for being such a creepy red flag, then through the middle of the story I became colorblind, but now…I just wanna cry for you💔The fact he is so desperate is making my heart break piece by piece I could even hear the crumbling😭 Meanwhile Ying qianqiu, why are you so miserable😭 WHY IS EVERYONE SO MISERABLE!!
Huo Wuling’s the one causing me the most pain, because everyone else is resigned to merging together, but he’s fighting against it with everything he has….this is a gentle romance story, I promise~
My thoughts exactly 😭
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
But I really can’t deny that it makes the whole book more bittersweet with the conflicts between the parts and with the struggles they experience while making their choices. And we get to also learn what the part represents and how each and every part of JC wants to love JN. That’s a constant for all parts. None of them are thinking about giving up on their love, of moving on, of changing their feelings for JN.
I have no words right now.
(The school/modern world au is flipping with my brain – because ji Ning is going about his day, meanwhile all the protagonists are each having an existential crisis and — and now ark, qinghan, and qianqiu are gone 😭