He paused when the otherโs face fell in surprise at hearing the confession.
Shi Yue halted in his movements, listening. Xie Yiโs voice was calm but it had a sweet undertone.
โTo me, he is not only my master. He is also one of the most important people in my life. He is the reason why I want to bring out the best in me. If it means he will smile and be happy, Iโm willing to do anythingโ, Xie Yi continued calmly. โHe is my most beloved person. That does not concern you or anyone else. You have no right to interfere with my matters and feelings, as I am doing nothing that hurts anyone else.โ
Shi Yueโs eyes widened as he listened to the words. There was no halo around Xie Yi, or a feeling of everyone else being blocked out.
There was only an almost overwhelming desire to walk over and pull the man into his arms to hold him close.
โOf course you can think that I am disgusting, thatโs none of my business. But if you believe you have the right to judge me or assume my thoughts, you are wrong.โ
โYou- You-โ, the other stuttered, exasperated. His face was flushing red in shame. โYou are just a fox trying to seduce Master Li! We donโt want someone like you to taint him!โ
Xie Yi chuckled lowly and shook his head with a click of his tongue. โArenโt you misunderstanding something? Master wouldnโt be stupid enough to be seduced and Iโm not pursuing him.โ
The murmurs that had swelled up, mostly surprised comments whispered behind hands, died down. Shi Yue felt a wave of confusion crash down on him, blocking out the sweetness in his heart.
Xie Yi humpfed. โAm I suitable for him? Youโre kidding. Iโm absolutely no-good compared to him. I have yet to find a person worthy of standing by his side. I obviously would never try to convince him to be with me in that way. Iโm very much content being by his side like this.โ
Everyone was stunned. Jaws had dropped.
โMy master is not only strong, he is also good-looking, has a good personality, is just and intelligentโ, Xie Yi said proudly while nodding to himself. โHe should be with someone who can stand by his side proudly or someone who can offer him a home. Master will surely find the perfect person for himself. As for me, itโs good enough if I can manage to not cause him any more trouble.โ
That was something no one had expected – Shi Yue least of all.
In his mind, a previously tiny voice jumped up in fury.
Can you please ask me whether Iโll accept before you reject yourself, ah?! I would have-
Shi Yue waved the voice away.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
โCcskjs, P tbqf sbeโii ifa atf wjaafg gfra cbkโ, Wlf Tl atgfjafcfv vjgxis. โGbcโa vlraegy Zjrafg klat sbeg raeqlv mbwwfcar! Po tf ageis yfilfnfr atja P lcafcv ab ybatfg tlw, P kbcโa ifa sbe boo!โ
Wlf Tl aegcfv tlr tfjv ab atf ifoa, ibbxlcu gluta ja Vtl Tef. C rwjii, jkxkjgv rwlif yibbwfv bc tlr ojmf.
Shi Yue felt his breath hitch a bit.
โMasterโ, Xie Yi hummed with his usual, amicable tone that he had towards people he liked. โIโm sorry. You really have no need to worry, I wonโt ever bother you. I like loving you, but you donโt have to concern yourself with it.โ
The voice crawled back up again.
โI-โ, Shi Yue began to speak hesitantly.
Xie Yi laughed sweetly and waved a hand. โMaster, Iโm really fine. Donโt force yourself. Nothing has changed.โ
The voice shrieked.
I!
Am!
Not!
Forcing!
Myse-
โOf courseโ, Shi Yue said instead, smiling back. โYou are, have been and will always be my precious disciple.โ
And that stupid voice better shut its mouth and go back to where it came from.
Xie Yi did not notice his masterโs unusual smile. He did not feel that there was anything wrong with what he did. He was quite relaxed at hearing those words. His main problem was the worry that Shi Yue might be annoyed at him. In his last life, because he had messed it up so much, Shi Yue had really hated Xie Yi liking him.
Now, if he was tame and obedient and kept his distance without being pushy, Shi Yue should be able to tolerate it? He was a good person, he surely would.
As for speaking out his feelings in front of everyone, Xie Yi had no second thoughts about it.
According to Xu Yan, it was kind of obvious anyway. Why go through the trouble of trying to hide something that everyone knew?
Thinking like that, he couldnโt bring himself to care.
He wasnโt going to act out on it anyway.
As he had told Lu Han: He understood those feelings. He knew what it was like to be aware that youโre not suitable for the person you like.ย He knew it because around him, Shi Yue always had to adjust.
Usually, Shi Yue was more elegant. He liked clean things and peace.
But Xie Yi was fidgety and enjoyed fighting. He often caused a mess without wanting to and Shi Yue had to clean it up.
In his head, a relationship needed to be like MingMingโs and Xue Huaโs. Even if they had some differences, it was obvious that Xue Hua felt the most comfortable around Mingtian – two people completing each other. An equal relationship where both people could help each other but no one dragged the other down.
Not one having to run after the other to clean up. Xie Yi couldnโt carry his own weight yet, how could he even think of making Shi Yue carry it?
No.
His heart clenched at the thought, but he was looking forward to Shi Yue finding someone he loved. He was sure it would be a very good person who would be kind to even someone like him. A woman that could start a family with Shi Yue. Someone who would make Shi Yue happy.
And heโd do his best to help protect her.
That, too, was a nice thought in a way.
If she allowed him to stick around as Shi Yueโs disciple and her guard… Maybe even the one guarding their future children. Make sure they were always safe and sound.
The thought was both sickening and sweet.
Really, only those people, though – no one else he could tolerate around Shi Yue. Only the most perfect one. Only the most suitable one.
Xie Yi recognized the jealousy that clouded the vision and systematically cut it down until it was gone. …Right now, it was still better to rid himself of negative feelings, even if it was unhealthy. He was too likely to get swallowed up.ย He’d confront them some other time, bit by bit, when he learned how to handle them better.
Shi Yue glanced over several times but found his disciple relaxed, as if the scene just now hadnโt happened. It was confusing.
Werenโt people awkward or nervous about confessing? Wouldnโt you worry that the other side did not like you? Even if they did say it was fine, they could be lying?
The Grandmaster did not remember a very simple fact. Over time, it had pretty much slipped his mind and he would come to regret not reminding himself of it regularly, at a later date.
Although Xie Yi was beginning to question people and the reasoning behind their actions, he still believed Mingtian and Shi Yue quite blindly. As he did not lie to them, he did not believe he would be lied to, either.
Shi Yue had said it was fine. So it was.
โMaster, Xu Yan was safe all this time, right? He wouldn’t be hurt?โ, the youth asked while staring forward.
Shi Yue nodded and sighed to himself. โHe did not leave the other sect. He is unharmed.โ
Phsycially. Other things, thoughโฆ
โThatโs goodโ, Xie Yi mumbled and skipped forward a bit. He wanted them all back together in the sect, which was like his home. He liked knowing everyone was here.
The guards saluted the two of them as they approached and made space for them to get up on the wall.
It was a simple defense structure but high enough up that Xie Yi had a good view. He hopped onto the heightened rim and dangled his legs over. Shi Yue only leaned against it.
Author’s Note
Who expected this to happen?
Xie Yi made that decision back when he asked Xu Yan about how special Shi Yue actually is. He has decided that he, as someone with such a messy past, barely deserves a lover at all,ย let alone someone he has put on a pedestal like Shi Yue.
NOOOO SHI YUE YOU LISTEN TO THAT VOICE!! AND XIE YI YOU BASTARD WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOINGGG AAAHHH- These two are killing me๐ญ๐ญ
Ty for the chapter๐๐๐๐ญ
Xie Yi bby noooooooo ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ you deserve to love and be loved!!! Lmao Shi Yues internal voice ๐. Guess weโll hear from that voice a lot in the future.
Thanks for the chapter!
๐ญ๐ญ Whyyy???? Why do you have to be so gron-up about this particular thing, Xie Yi?? And why do you have to be so conflicted and lie to yourself about this particular thing, Shi Yue?? And Xie Yi, you do deserve to be loved, and you are good enough!!! I want to make them talk it out honestly, right now, even if it would be horribly out of place yet…..
But thank you for the delightfully facepalm- and emotional wailing-inducing chapter, unfortunatelly it did make sense to happen…. ๐ข
Actually, XY is not lying to himself, he just accepted it wholeheartedly since in the previous life it didnt end well. For XY, it is enough to stay with SY than making SY hate him.
It’s Shi Yue who’s lying to himself, not Xie Yi.
Oh ! you’re right! Didnt notice that lol.. Shi Yue could only lie for now and he’ll regret it later ๐
I think a person that perfect dosen’t exist.
You make me crying for this ๐ข ๐ญ ๐คง poor xieyi poor my baby he sacrifice his own feelings for shi yue happiness
I think XY’s approach to this is a good start; right now he’s not mentally strong enough to shoulder the burdens of a relationship until he solves his inner demons. This also enables him to mature and develop into the person he deems suitable for SY ๐ They are cultivators after all, so they got time
My heart cries
BRO YOUR USERNAME ๐ญโ
I somehow expect it. XY doesnt want the same thing happened before. He tried to pursue SY but it end up in tragedy. So he just accepted that he cant be with SY. It is actually a selfless love which i admire cause it rarely happens.
But i bet this will give SY headache and heartache lol
Thanks for the chapter!
I actually want Shi Yue to pursue Xie Yi. Cause if XY pursue SY people will say that he seduce or did something to make SY say yes. But if Shi Yue piurse XY. No one can question him. It will also be amusing to see.
I also can’t wait for that to happen. They both deserve their own happy ending and find peace with each other.
Xie Yi is making me cry out for him ๐ญ, hope Shi Yue realizes the truth and stop lying to himself already.
1000% Agree with this
Aaaaaaa, if someone is willing to slow down their pace to match yours, doesn’t that count as a chance! Shi Yue obviously doesn’t mind!!
But… wehehehe, laughing evilly at the prospect of Shi Yue having to catch this ‘wife’.
…I knew it! After reading the prior chapters, I made up scenarios about Xie Yi not thinking he’s good enough and finding a wife for Shi Yue, essentially making myself cry, and now- I EXPECTED IT BUT STILL NOOOOOOO ๐ญ
A stab wound would hurt less, thank you.
ha!
Go fuck yourself ML!!!!
crying my eyes out (โฏ๏นโฐ๏ผ
thanks for the chapter!
Best story ever ๐ฉโ
I just virtually threw myself out the window before I exploded
Thank you very much ๐
whyyyyy are we building homophobia and hetero-normative relationship enforcement into our fantasy worlllllllds
I mean its very much still common in reality too though I think future generations have become more open than previous ones.