Green Plum IslandCh43 - He Still Doesn’t Believe in Love

The renovation on Grandpa’s house is nearly coming to an end. Once Yan Wanqiu returns, I’ll have to go back home, and then in a few more days, it’ll come time for me to bid the island farewell.

Anxiety fills me, about college, about leaving, and about whether or not I’ll pass probation. The deadline looms ahead, yet Yan Kongshan never discusses the topic, making it difficult to determine whether he’s satisfied with the current state of things or not. The way he acts seems like he is, otherwise he wouldn’t kiss me every single day, but without being able to see his mood index, I can’t be too certain of anything. 6raY8T

Sighing, I think how yesterday I shouldn’t resisted and not kissed him. At least I’d be able to tell what he actually thinks about me. Maybe today it would be better if we didn’t?

I shower, dry my hair until it’s halfway dry, but when I come out, Yan Kongshan isn’t in the room. There’s no one upstairs at all. I have a feeling he’s gone outside to smoke, but when I go downstairs looking for him, I’m surprised to see he’s not outside. He’s inside, looking through photos of Yan Wanqiu.

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

He sits on the large rug in the living room cross-legged, surrounded by photo albums of all sizes. I move over to peer at them. There’s a photo of Yan Wanqiu learning to walk with her prosthetic leg, a photo where her face is covered in some undeterminable sauce… all the photos are of her, but it’s easy to see how much love the photographer has for her.

I imagine Yan Kongshan is currently brewing with more anxiety than I am. I look up at him; he’s fixated on each photo he flips through. JEF0o5

“Do you think she might not come back?” His fingers stop at a photo of the two of them. It looks like a selfie taken by Yan Wanqiu. Her face covers most of the photo, a beaming smile on her face. Next to her, Yan Kongshan stares at the camera with a disgruntled look on his face, although his eyes are brimming with amusement.

“No, Qiuqiu isn’t that kind of child.” Even though I understand his feelings and I know he’s not invincible, and I know that knowing he has his moments of fragility is a good thing, I don’t want him to keep feeling miserable.

I shut the photo album in his hands and put it aside, then stuff a game controller into his lap. “Shall we play a game?”

He looks down at the controller, then up at me. “Alright,” he agrees.

I put Mario on the screen and we play. He’s quiet the entire time, as if he’s just a shell of a person sitting there going through the motions while his soul is long gone out wandering. It makes me sound like a chatterbox next to him.

Playing Mario co-op, one person controls the plumber while the other person is his hat. The hat’s direction can’t be controlled and it just flies around all over the place, back and forth, used to attack and defend. In theory, whoever plays the hat doesn’t have to do any thinking and can simply sit there pressing the same button over and over again. Which is exactly what Yan Kongshan does.

“Look, I’ll jump over this–” I turn towards him, elated, but he stares blankly at the TV screen like a wooden sculpture, not hearing a word.

I bite my lip and play quietly for a while, then as the map changes, I turn to him again. “Ah Shan, after I start college, I don’t think we’ll get to see each other anymore,” I can’t help broaching the topic. sO0D4P

This time, he hears me, but only gives a slight hum of acknowledgment. The cut scene is over and I turn my focus back on the game, although the conversation isn’t over.

“Will you miss me?” As soon as the question comes out, I feel my face get hot. I sneak a glance over at Yan Kongshan out of the corner of my eye, wanting to see how he reacts.

But contrary to my expectations, he doesn’t react much at all, just keeps his eyes on the screen, not in a great mood. When at last he speaks, his tone contains a hint of brusqueness that I don’t think he’s aware of.

“Eventually you have to get used to this kind of separation,” he says. ORuej

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

I blink. On the screen, Mario suddenly dies thanks to my momentary pause. I quickly make him get back up and continue forward, evading monsters as I go.

“‘Ktlr xlcv bo rfqjgjalbc’?”

“Tbe’gf agslcu ab yfmbwf j obgfluc vlqibwja. Tbeg oeaegf klii yglcu sbe ab wjcs qijmfr, ab wffa wjcs qfbqif. Ktlr tfgf lr bcis sbeg rajgalcu qblca.” Lf rabqr obg j yfja, atfc mbcalcefr, “Ktf rxs wjlvfc kjr jikjsr wfjca ab gfaegc ab atf tfjnfcr. Cii ‘tlr’ fzqfglfcmfr lc atf rfmeijg kbgiv kfgf pera atlcur atja wbwfcajglis tfiv tfg yjmx.”

I don’t know whether he realises that when he puts it like that, it’s like he’s completely erasing himself from my future — as if I’m meant to leave, and so everything here, including him, is just meant to become things I abandon behind me. 5UEeAQ

Does he think that because I’m young, I’m just here to engage in a brief summer fling with him and have no further plans with him? That as soon as I start college, I’ll forget him and focus on my glorious college experience, maybe end up with someone else… is that what he thinks?

I always thought that the probationary period was him giving me a chance, but now it looks like he was just cajoling me. From the beginning, he meant to lead me astray with his sugar-coated bullet. Like my dad, he assumes that once I leave the island I won’t come back.

Read more BL at chrysanthemumgarden (dot) com

That explains why he’s always kept our physical contact limited to kissing and never gone any further. Clearly he has no issue having one-night stands, yet when it comes to me, he suddenly doesn’t have the heart to go all the way.

It was all to fool me. He still doesn’t believe in love, still doesn’t believe in me. 9Jt3eA

***

Ever since Fu Wei found me through my social media, I stopped posting for a long time. But now I have all sorts of complicated feelings running through me, so I open the app and submit a post for the first time in a long while.

[The person I like agreed to try things out with me and also exchanges kisses with me, but they never intended for this relationship to last, thinking that I would eventually leave him in the end. What should I do?]

I no longer care if Fu Wei sees my posts; if he dares come over again, I’ll just beat him up. 7XimHY

When I go back to check for comments after a while, I find the comment section exploding.

Netizen A: Baby Yu you’re finally back! We were so worried about you!
Netizen B: I thought something happened to you, but you were just too busy dating? Confusion.jpg
Netizen C: Hold on!! “Him”?? Huh?!?! What did I miss??
Netizen D: For a second I thought I stumbled on a relationship advice bot.
Netizen E: Convince him in bed.
Netizen F: Kisses, I recommend giving the other person more of a sense of security. You can be more proactive, communicate more, and have a little more patience.
Netizen G: The one who said to convince him in bed, are you the devil? Mian Mian is still a child!

I scroll through hundreds of comments talking about all sorts of things, although most of them are shocked by the “him” pronoun.

At that moment, footsteps sound on the stairs outside. I throw my phone down in a hurry and lie in bed with my back to the door, pretending to be asleep. Soon enough, someone walks in. I hear the sound of the wardrobe opening, then Yan Kongshan probably retrieves a fresh change of clothing before leaving. HcDpuI

The room descends into silence again. I peek over. The door to the room is half open; the rushing sound of water drifts over from the direction of the bathroom. Evidently, Yan Kongshan is showering.

I get up from the bed, and after a brief moment of mulling it over, creep over quietly. The glass door leading to the bathroom glows a warm yellow from the lighting within. I stand still before it for a couple minutes, then grit my teeth and open the door softly.

The sound of the shower head masks the opening of the door. Yan Kongshan has his back to the door and doesn’t notice me coming in. Condensation covers the glass doors of the shower, forming a natural mosaic, and combined with the low lighting, completely obscures whatever is happening inside the stall.

I grab onto the bottom of my shirt tightly. On the surface I’m calm, but my entire mind is a chaotic storm. Was it bad to suddenly barge in like this? But he’s my boyfriend, so what am I afraid of? The probation period is coming to an end soon, if I don’t do something, how am I supposed to go full-time? Is this considered an underhanded move? Geez, can shenanigans between young people be called “underhanded”? nyT8xC

With my eyes shut, I ignore all the rubbish orbiting around my mind and quickly yank open the shower door and squeeze my way inside.

Yan Kongshan spins around, completely shocked by my appearance. Wiping some water from his face, he asks, “Yu Mian?” Completely astonished.

Warm, hot water trickles over my skin, evoking a tickling sensation. I can hardly look him in the eye, but when I lower my head… I resist the urge to swallow my saliva. A song lyric crosses my mind in that moment: “The sleeping dragon opens its eyes.”

I shift my gaze over to the side, even more bashful. h6Tl2O

Water continues pouring down relentlessly, splashing all over the place. It quickly drenches my face and hair and pants.

“Yu Mian, what are you doing in–”

Read more BL at chrysanthemumgarden (dot) com

Before he can finish, I lunge forward and embrace him.

He staggers backward with the force of my assault until his back is plastered against the tiles. h2D4qw

I want to tell him that I’m not a child and can’t be so easily cajoled. This isn’t a momentary passion, or me being young and foolish. I can’t change the fact that I’m younger, but being younger doesn’t mean that when I like someone, it has less value.

Nothing but the sound of water caresses my ears. In the end, I don’t say anything at all. I hadn’t planned on kissing him today, but that plan seems to be going out the window now…

I flutter him with kisses from shoulder to neck, just as he did to me before. I’m a quick learner and quickly get the hang of things. In no time, his breathing starts getting faster.

“Yu Mian, go out, you’re completely wet–” KQOqcY

I bite his Adam’s apple and draw a low hum out from his throat. The arm around my waist tightens. My clothes stick to my body and indeed, it’s uncomfortable. But that’s alright, because soon that’ll be the last of anybody’s worries.

Translator’s Note: Above is the end of the official chapter. Below here is the continuation of the last scene, which was posted separately on the author’s Weibo because it contains smut. It’s not explicit at all, but please read at your own discretion.

Slowly, I get on my tiptoes, press both hands on his shoulders, and my lips meet his. The way his arms tense around me absolutely shows no indicator that he intends to push me away.

Water travels down my hair, into my eyes. I blink, my eyesight blurring. The haziness, the low lighting, all of it combines to send my senses tingling. oRXrGO

Hot breaths, the increasing heat on skin, water falling ceaselessly with force onto flesh.

I’m a little breathless and turn my head to the side to pause the kiss, but Yan Kongshan, as if tasting something and having not had enough, chases after me and inserts his tongue in my mouth, forcing me to continue.

Neither of us can help getting turned on; I grind against him in frustration, trying to quench my desires. The hand Yan Kongshan has against my back travels lower, and lower still. I keep my eyes shut tight, moving and pressing and grinding, my heart pounding, heartbeats following each other one after another in such quick succession that it feels like it’s coming out all at once.

Yan Kongshan’s hips thrust against me haphazardly as he kisses me, his lower body crushing against mine. A meaningless moan escapes my throat; the blood boils in my veins, powerful, rolling waves crashing within my body. oJ deC

Even though I’m the one who started this, in the end it’s Yan Kongshan who’s in control, maneuvering us through this sudden tango of passion that neither of us can stop. Rushing water mingling with the sound of breathless pants, I rest my chin on Yan Kongshan’s shoulder. When my excitement reaches its climax, I can’t help but bite down onto his flesh. He shudders, his hands pressing me so tightly to him as if he’s trying to smother me into him.

After some time, his grip gradually loosens. My legs are unsteady, I can barely stand, so I lean against the shower door.

“It’s dirty.” Still panting, he eyes my pants. Or rather, my boxers.

I blink at him stupidly, not moving, my senses still not yet returned. He reaches a hand out, stroking it down my face, then pulls me towards him and helps remove my wet, heavy T-shirt and pants from my body. GlC9mg

Somewhat conscious again, I start getting anxious, thinking that he means to continue where we left off, but instead, he pushes me out of the shower after stripping me naked and then wraps me in a giant towel. I sweep down his body; down there, he’s coming back alive.

Impressive, really. And quite startling. But expected of a fine specimen.

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

“Alright, you can go now.” Feeling my stare, he puts a hand over my eyes and shoves me by the shoulders, chasing me out of the bathroom.

Then he locks the door. XxTMs2

I pout and walk back to the bedroom, towel wrapped around me like a cocoon.

After I change into dry clothes, I lie in bed waiting, but the minutes pass and he doesn’t return. Eventually, I give up, sinking dazedly into the grips of sleep.