For the past ten years, I had always believed that Sheng Min Ou couldn’t care less about what happened to me and whether I was still dead or alive. After all, his attitude towards me had always been apathetic, and frosty enough that my heart trembled.
But what if, reality wasn’t what it appeared to be on the surface?
After shaking hands and exchanging farewells with Old Huang, I headed home and passed by a supermarket to buy a pack of cigarettes and a few cans of beer.
Although drinking is said to harm the body, with the way I was feeling tonight, there was no better occasion for getting completely blackout drunk.
I lit my cigarette and exhaled out the pungent smoke, my memories resurfacing from ten years ago.
I rarely reminisced upon what happened that day, but I can’t help but revisit the details today.
After two months of no contact, Sheng Min Ou finally picked up my call.
I didn’t know whether this counted as a sign of peace between the two of us, but I was so happy, so excited, I even resorted to pinching myself to ascertain whether I was dreaming or not.
“Ge…”
He answered my phone and I was ecstatic, but soon the dissatisfaction started to creep in. If only it wasn’t a phone call, then everything would be great. If only he was standing right in front of me right now, then I would be able to embrace him and whine at him, as I told him what was upsetting me, holding him in my hands so that he couldn’t push me away.
“Lu Feng, stop sending me those things.” Sheng Min Ou’s familiar and indifferent voice came over the phone.
I squeezed the phone tight in my hand as I replied hoarsely, “Did you see everything I sent you?”
Did he read all the text messages I sent when I was worried about him, ones in which I apologised to him, ones that contained sporadic, nonsensical mumblings of my day to day, ramblings that even I found slightly foolish. Did he look at all those things?
Sheng Min Ou replied, “No, I don’t have time to read it, and I also have no need for those things, so don’t send it to me anymore.”
He had no need for me to worry over him, nor did he need me stupidly attempting to vie for his affection, he didn’t even… need me.
Upon coming across this realisation, I couldn’t help but feel slightly dejected.
“Alright, I won’t send anything to you anymore.”
I bent over, my eyes casted downwards as I now felt dispirited. The elation I felt over being able to talk with Sheng Min Ou on the phone was but an ephemeral feeling, as it faded into bitterness.
There was a moment of silence on the other side, “Then it’s settled.”
I was startled at this, my back straightening abruptly as I hurriedly replied, “Ge, I…I want to see you. Please, let me meet you! I won’t do anything, I just want to see you and check in on how you are doing…”
Ever since I was born, I hadn’t experienced such a long separation from him. I simply missed him too much.
The line didn’t hang up, but Sheng Min Ou didn’t say anything again.
“See how I’m doing?” Sheng Min Ou suddenly muttered, seemingly laughing, “This world doesn’t mean anything to me, so there’s no such thing as doing well or not doing well.”
“Ge…”
This world may be meaningless to him, and he might also view the people in this world as dispensable existences, however he was someone important to me, someone very important.
I wanted to convey my thoughts to him and express how much I valued him, however I knew that it wasn’t something he would appreciate. He probably would even find it ridiculous.
“Fine. Once you have truly experienced fear, you won’t want to get close to the abyss again.”
I snapped out of my thoughts and caught him seemingly whispering to himself.
Yet, the meaning behind his words were unclear. He mentioned fear and then some abyss, but I had no idea what he meant. Though I was puzzled, I hadn’t even begun to follow up with questions when a blissful realisation hit me – he had agreed to meet me.
“Tomorrow at five o’clock in the afternoon, I’ll see you in the ruins.” He said, “Don’t be late, but there’s no need to get there too early either.”
The ruins weren’t far from my home. It was a place where I went to by default when I made mistakes as a child. Since I could remember, a towering, unfinished building had been erected there. It appeared to be a commercial building, but for some reason the construction process suddenly stopped, and this hiatus lasted for many years.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
Ktf olgra alwf P tlv atfgf, ws ktbif ojwlis gfjilrfv atja P kjr wlrrlcu jcv kfgf lc j ogfchs ibbxlcu obg wf. Ktfs fnfc mjiifv eq fjmt bo ws mijrrwjafr ab jrx lo atfs tjv rffc wf.
Zs wbatfg kjr jczlber ab atf qblca atja rtf kjr mgslcu bnfg atf ktbif lcmlvfca, jr rtf atbeuta P wluta tjnf ojiifc nlmalw ab mtliv agjoolmxlcu, yea lc ojma P tjv ojiifc jriffq jmmlvfcajiis. Qtfc P kbxf eq jujlc, atf rxs tjv yffc qiecufv lcab vjgxcfrr, jcv j oijrtiluta yfjwfv vlgfmais lcab ws fsfr, rb ygluta atja P atbeuta P rjk rajgr.
“…Lu Feng?” I covered my eyes and heard Sheng Min Ou’s voice coming from behind the bright beam.
With the night sky being pitch black and the roads around us inconvenient to navigate, I really had no idea how he managed to find me in that place.
Sheng Min Ou didn’t ask me why I was hiding there, nor did he display any excitement or anger at finding me. He just led me by my hand as we left the ruins quietly, his lone flashlight lighting the way.
When I got home, Sheng Min Ou called my parents who were still out looking for me, and it was then that I realized that this was a grave matter, as I began trembling with fear.
My parents rushed back after hearing the news and I thought I was going to experience a beat down from the tag team, so I hid behind Sheng Min Ou’s back and refused to come out. However, my mother dismissed the whole night, and my father only gave me a reminder to not go out haphazardly next time, with that being the end of it.
Back then, I felt as if I had escaped some sort of apocalyptic aftermath, so I counted my blessings that none of the admonishment happened. When I grew up however, I understood that in the few short hours while I was missing, whilst they may have been nothing to me, each second for them were like years. Perhaps during that time they’ve already conjured up thousands of bad possibilities in their minds. That’s why when I appeared in front of them safe and in one piece, they didn’t have the heart to scold me harshly anymore.
Ai, even when I was like this they still didn’t hit me, no wonder I grew up with a personality that was so unrelentlessly bold.
I remembered that I had asked Sheng Min Ou before on how he knew I was hiding in the ruins.
He thought about it, and replied that it was instinct.
Though he thought of it as instinct, I regarded it as the synergy between brothers. Ever since then, whenever I felt frustrated or upset, I would always hide there, and he would always come find me over and over again.
It was an apt description to say that that place was the secret base of Sheng Min Ou and I. It held a unique meaning and was a special existence.
I was therefore naturally excited when Sheng Min Ou asked to meet me, but I was also slightly perplexed as to why he wanted to meet at that place.
I tossed and turned all night, constantly thinking about Sheng Min Ou, as my body was wracked simultaneously with excitement and anxiety. The next morning I found that I couldn’t remain in bed any longer, so I got up and decided to head towards the ruins.
That’s right, even though Sheng Min Ou asked me to meet him in the afternoon, I already couldn’t wait to see him, so I planned to get there early and wait.
I packed my bags, bringing bread and water with me, as I prepared to head out.
It was precisely at this moment that I received a call from an unfamiliar number.
I had never seen the string of numbers present on my screen. It came through as a local call, and my phone continued to ring as the caller waited for me to pick up.
I accepted the call suspiciously, and it turned out to be Qi Yang on the other end.
“Why do you have my number?” I held my phone tightly, holding my backpack as I sat down on the sofa, my initial excitement now completely submerged by a dark fire.
Qi Yang didn’t answer my question, his tone was full of sympathy and pity, as if he instead was the older brother who cared affectionately about me and grew up with me.
“I’ve read all the text messages you sent to Sheng Min Ou. He didn’t reply to any of them right, what a pitiful little thing you are.”
He knew exactly what to say to hit my sore spots and to exacerbate things. He hit bullseye, and I had to admit that he really was a master of words, knowing precisely how to irritate others as he wanted.
“It has nothing to do with you. What goes on between Sheng Min Ou and myself is nothing you need to concern yourself with.” I gritted my teeth as I replied, despising him with every fibre of my being. If Qi Yang was in front of me right now, I could spit on his face.
“He asked you to come out and meet him today, right?”
My eyes widened in surprise, “How did you know about this?”
In an instant, my mind was flooded with thoughts that all flashed by. Sheng Min Ou only asked me to meet him yesterday, so how could Qi Yang know? Could it be… Sheng Min Ou had told him?
But even if he did, why was Qi Yang calling me now? Was he trying to provoke me?
“You poor little thing, if there’s anything you’re confused about, you can come early, I’ll answer it for you.”
When I heard that he even knew of the meeting location, I panicked, “Did Sheng Min Ou tell you this?”
There seemed to be a voice screaming in his heart: “He didn’t only just tell him about our messages, he even revealed to Qi Yang the location of our secret base? How could he do this? How could he?”
Qi Yang chuckled lightly, his voice slithering into my ears, creating a sinister discomfort, as if a poisonous snake was right by my side, hissing sibilant whispers.
“Come, I’ll be waiting for you.” He said, hanging up the phone afterwards.
I gripped my phone tightly, looking at the call log on the screen, revealing that we had talked for less than five minutes. I took a deep breath, and with my backpack in my hand, I moved to head out.
When my gaze skipped over the switchblade on the coffee table, my body stilled, and after giving it some thought I decided to grab it as I stuffed it into my trouser pocket.
“Where are you going so early in the morning?” My mother heard the noise and emerged from the bedroom, remnants of sleep still evident on her features.
I kept my head low as I walked out: “I’m just going somewhere for a bit, I’ll be back soon.”
My mother stayed where she was, still for a long time, before tentatively asking, “Are you going to find your brother?”
“I’m not.” I replied, putting on my shoes. I looked up at her and gave her a smile before leaving.
When I got to the ruins of the unfinished building, I crawled through a gap in between the metal barrier obstructing entry, and heard Qi Yang’s voice above my head.
“Over here!” He stood at the highest point and waved his arms at me.
I pressed my lips together as I made my way upstairs.
Only half of the unfinished building was built, the concrete mix had been poured and the foundations of the building were there, but the rest was left untouched. Remains of steel bars and traces of rubbish from everyday life could still be seen everywhere littered on the ground. As there were no walls, the place was brightly illuminated.
Qi Yang was waiting for me at the top level.
Unlike the previous few times from when I saw him, he wasn’t wearing glasses that day, and his hair seemed to have been carefully styled. He looked more lively than usual, and at first glance, I almost didn’t recognize him.
“You poor little thing, I’m glad you still came.”
But when he opened his mouth, I knew that he was still the same person, the psychopath.
“You might as well talk now, what do you want?” I put down my backpack, warily maintaining my distance with him.
Qi Yang smiled as he walked towards me slowly: “Sheng Min Ou also wanted to meet up with me today.”
I was stunned for a moment, and before I could figure out what he meant, he pressed on: “He wants me to kill you.”
In an instant, my blood ran cold. Though it was the peak of the scorching summer, and the noise from the cicadas was so oppressively loud it could drown out all sounds in a hundred kilometre radius, my hands and feet were still shaking uncontrollably from the chills.
Qi Yang’s words were ridiculous, and absurd, but it was undeniable that the impact it had on me was not a small one.
After the panic subsided, fury consumed my senses.
“No way.” I moved towards him and grabbed a fistful of his shirt. “Cut the bullshit!”
Qi Yang was still laughing: “Just think about it, what better way is there for him to kill two birds with one stone? If both of us lose here, resulting in both our deaths, that would actually be the best ending for him.”
His words sowed a seed of doubt within me.
“Stop talking.”
“A monster has no heart. Do you really think you have a place in his heart, that you’re on his mind?” Even when I grabbed him by the collar, his expression was completely devoid of fear as he continued, “How could possibly he love you? He doesn’t even know what love is.”
“Shut up!”
I slammed my fist into Qi Yang’s face, as he staggered two steps before finding his balance again. He touched the corners of his mouth, an abrasion forming to his lips as his smile became even more twisted.
“Your expression is so interesting right now.” He slowly picked up a steel bar from the ground, “The original plan I had was to hide here, kill you, and then bury you. However, I suddenly felt that it would be too boring if I did that. After all, what’s the point of walking alone in the abyss? I have to pull Sheng Min Ou into the depths with me, of course.”
Once you have truly experienced fear, you won’t want to get close to the abyss.
Sheng Min Ou’s vague warning flashed through my mind, unless – he really meant for Qi Yang to kill me?
“You can have me tie you up, otherwise you can hide here quietly and watch me kill him, or the other way around if he kills me.” He gripped the steel bar in his hand and began to laugh as if he had lost his mind, “In any case, he will be brought in by me to hell.”
He’s lost his mind, he’s actually lost it.
With this thought in mind, I lunged towards him and reached for the steel bar in his hand. We rolled around on the ground, stirring up dust as we inhaled it and choked, the remaining dust falling into our eyes.
I started finding it hard to open my eyes, and Qi Yang seized this opportunity to push the steel bar in his hand down upon my neck in a strangling hold, effectively caging my body underneath.
A sharp, excruciating pain flared in my neck as I struggled and kicked with my feet. Just when I started seeing spots of black and was about to run out of breath, the force applied on my neck suddenly disappeared. Qi Yang seemingly inexplicably decided to release his grip on me.
In the trouser pocket, the switchblade that I had carried with me as a precautionary measure fell out due to the violent commotion, and it happened to be within reaching distance as I grabbed it.
My neck burned and ached as if it was on fire, and for the first time I realised how sweet and wonderful the air rushing down my lungs were.
Amidst my panic, I pulled out the switchblade and plunged it into flesh. Instantly, it was as if time itself had stopped, Qi Yang lowered his head, looking down at the side of his abdomen, as fresh blood poured out from the wound and flowed along the knife’s edge.
He staggered as he stood up, and ignored the wound on his body as he lifted the steel bar high above his head. Seeing that he was about to swing it down, I rolled on the spot and narrowly dodged a blow.
However he didn’t give up after this unsuccessful attempt, as he threw himself at me again as we became a tangle of limbs.
“As long as I’m not dead, I will continue to harrass Sheng Min Ou for the rest of my life.” Blood seeped through the cracks of his teeth, his grin looking uncannily savage. “He’ll never be able to be rid of me, never!”
With just one look at his expression, I knew that he meant every single word he said.
Qi Yang wouldn’t never let Sheng Min Ou go. He would lure him into the abyss, where Sheng Min Ou would never be able to return to the sun again.
“You wish!” I yelled, suppressing my voice as I wrapped my fingers around the knife in his abdomen as I pulled it out forcefully. In that instant, warm blood splashed on my hand, coating it in a sticky mess.
He let out a painful groan, clutching his wound as he attempted to put distance between the two of us. I chased his retreating figure and stabbed his lower back, the only thought consuming my mind was the one repeating that I couldn’t let him get close to Sheng Min Ou again.
Blood spurted on his face as Qi Yang let out a despairing scream, before he proceeded to laugh hysterically.
“You really are a poor little vermin…he, he will never love you, but you’re willing to go this far for him?” He turned around and lashed out as he struck my arm with the steel bar.
Excruciating pain flared in my wrist as I reflexively dropped the switchblade.
Qi Yang lunged at me again, and I used my remaining hand to defend myself against the steel bar that he came at me with. The two of us were caught in a tangle of limbs, thrashing unknowingly towards the edge of the building which precariously was devoid of safety barricades.
“You can shield him now, but can you protect him for the rest of his life?” he asked.
The sharp tip of the steel bar inched itself closer to my eyeball as I gritted my teeth and pushed back with all my strength, forcing out two words from my throat.
“I can.” With a hard push, I threw him off me.
A second ago, his twisted smile was still visible in front of me, then in the next, everything occurred too fast. All I knew was that in the blink of an eye, Qi Yang’s ankle twisted and his whole body vanished beyond the edge of the building.
I subconsciously wanted to catch him, but it was too late.
He disappeared from my eyes, the building at a solid height, being seven or eight stories tall, as he fell on cracked gravel, face up. I threw myself towards the edge as I peered downwards and saw blood trickling out of his nose and mouth. He didn’t die instantaneously from the impact, his eyes still focused on me, as he held his gaze for a moment, before his lids slowly closed.
My legs gave out as I sat limply on the ground, my mind drawing blanks as I wondered what I should do next. Suddenly, I heard the sound of my phone vibrating, as I scanned my surroundings for a long time before I determined that the sound originated from my backpack.
Exhausted, I moved towards my backpack, opened the zipper, and found that Sheng Min Ou had sent me a text message.
He said, remember to get there on time.
I’m giving away a discord nitro and all you have to do is submit a fanart or fanfic (min 500 words) to enter!! I would absolutely love to see any fics/fanart ideas you have for our favourite murderer x sociopath couple 🤭
Here’s the link to submit: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdos2k46ks0kfEuKgcCE7mdtjTgKCONS9BoR4Bg8Mq-82N6MQ/viewform?usp=sf_link
Thank you for all your continuous support so far, I read all your comments and am so appreciative of all your nice words! 💞 (now go and enter the giveaway!!)
We finally know what happened….. Now the question is, did Sheng Min Ou really wanted Qi Yang to kill Lu Feng or not…..
Thank you for the chapter 💕
Yess, literally only revealed like when we’re more than halfway through the novel! We waited long enough for this haha especially since the author foreshadowed the event from literally chapter one 😩 Thank you for your support! 🤗
Well. Sheng Min Ou probably knew little to nothing abjout this particular thing. He may have had other ideas to scare Lu Feng, but I don’t think he planned this. I can feel we are making progress tho
Thanks for the chapter!!
Oooh, maybe! And yess, I don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel yet but I can feel a gust of wind blowing through – hope that this doesn’t just lead to a dead end 😂 Thank you for the support!! 💓
Firstly, when LF asked SMO if he arranged the confrontation with QY on purpose and SMO said yes, then elaborated that he had intended LF to die… I’m positive that part was a lie, but SMO was telling the truth in that he arranged for both of them to be there. Before reading this chapter, I wasn’t sure if QY was there by SMO’s design or if he found out through stalking SMO. But now I’m certain SMO invited him. 2. What made me so sure of this was the comment SMO made: “Once you have truly experienced fear, you won’t want to get close to the abyss again.” I believe that by the “abyss”, SMO is referring to himself. He agreed to meet LF because he had an idea of how he could drive LF away for good.3. “Abyss” – again, here’s evidence that SMO thinks of himself in relentlessly negative terms. Which suggests his motive in driving LF away is actually for LF’s own good. Once LF truly knows fear, he won’t want to get close to the abyss = therefore, LF won’t fall in. 4. SMO knows how persistent LF can be, and that LF isn’t deterred by SMO’s “abnormality”. Consequently, whatever it is SMO plans to do to make LF experience fear… it’s going to be extreme.5. I therefore think that SMO deliberately arranged for both LF and QY to turn up at the ruins, and that he intended to murder QY in front of LF. It would serve the threefold purpose of a) getting rid of his insane stalker, b) traumatising LF so he never wants to go near SMO again, c) putting SMO in prison for murder, thus preventing him from ever doing harm to LF.6. Which in turn proves, IMHO, that SMO cares about LF very much and fears LF will be harmed by getting close to him. I wasn’t sure of this until just now, when I typed it all out – but seeing it, I realised if SMO is prepared to go that far to drive LF away, there must be some incredibly strong emotions at the root of it all….Of course, I could be totally wrong. But that’s my theory anyway. 😀
Thanks for the chapter!
Grrrrrrr I put in like 3 spaces between each paragraph this time! But it still ended up a giant block of text. Sorry, I hope it still makes sense!
Omg.. I almost feel the need to almost wrap myself in a blanket (it’s winter here), bring out a cup of hot chocolate and just settle in so I can prepare myself before reading your analysis comments haha!! I love the level of thought you put in and I can definitely see the case that you’re making! I guess only time will tell… 👀🤭
Thank you for the support! 💕
I love your analysis, and I find myself in agreement with most of it, even thought I don’t know if SMO planned to send himself in prison, it doesn’t really strike me as his style, but then I’m not sure how he would have planned to cover QY’s murder in that case.
Btw, when you said “getting rid of the stalker”, I thought you were referring to LF 😆😆
Can’t wait to see how this evolves! How could would it be if you got everything right??!! 🤩🤩🤩
Thanks your effort for translating this novel.
now he’s trynna push LF away, because he thinks ‘even when I was trying to protect him, he ended up getting hurt (as in going to prison for murder)’
So it was like that…. SMO really does owe Lu Feng then, IMO. He got rid of the crazy freak that would have dragged him down.
Haha yet SMO’s way of repaying LF so far is to react to his approaches with absolute disgust and enforce a no contact rule 😭
I really thought the murder case would be accidental plus self defense but it seemed SMO planned for both of them to be there. He just didn’t calculate the variables (Lufeng and Qi Yang getting there before him). Thank you so much for the translations.