My Boyfriend Discovered My Zhihu ResponseCh2 - My Secret (Part Two)

Demanding for my photo? How mean could you guys get? Why would I post my photo when I have anonymous enabled? lZgr8k

I forgot to post more last night because I had a two-hour call with my boyfriend. And sure enough, when I checked today, my post got even more popular.

_(:з」∠)_ All of you are scoundrel. Didn’t we agree not to like my post if I tell my story?

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

As an aside, Zhihu will not recommend topics that users are not interested in. As long as they are not interested, even the popular answers will not be displayed… In addition to his sexual orientation, my boyfriend is better than straight men in other aspects. Straight, he usually doesn’t pay attention to this kind of topic.

On an unrelated topic, Zhihu won’t be suggesting topics that aren’t interesting to a user, based on the user’s logarithms, right? Even if the answer gets very popular, Zhihu won’t show a preview of it, right…My boyfriend, other than being bent, gender wise, is more straight than other straight guys in other areas. He usually won’t follow this kind of topic. yK7pav

That’s my wishful thinking!

Continue from where I left off. I stopped right when he asked me out, and as for my answer—there was none. That’s right. I turned tail and ran. It was so embarrassing.

Do you know just how intense and courageous his gaze on me was? He even shouted about not giving up. I really couldn’t reject him with words, after all, who could reject a sincere heart?

Now I think about it, if I was just a tiny bit unwavering, there wouldn’t have been a story about us afterward.

I abandoned him at the university entrance. Later on, I received a new message from him. He was heading back but would be visiting me every weekend from now on.

He really comes every week. At first I avoided him on purpose, but he stood downstairs in our dormitory all morning. He sent me a message, but I didn’t reply to him. He took the high-speed train from Shanghai to Suzhou for half an hour, and then took the bus from the station to my school for half an hour. As a result, he went back alone without seeing me.

True to his words, he came every weekend. At first, I avoided him on purpose, making him stand the whole afternoon right below our dormitory area. I wouldn’t reply to any of his messages. But the mere thought of him taking a thirty-minute high-speed rail from Shanghai to Suzhou, then another thirty-minute train to get to my university, just to fail to meet me and to return home alone…

I felt a pang in my heart, but I was at a loss on what to do. Each time the weekend arrived, I would hide in my room, out of fear that I would yield to the sight of him. GQ78fE

But ultimately, it ended up happening anyway. On the fourth weekend, right before midday, right before he was about to leave, I went downstairs and stopped him.

I made known of my lack of understanding. He didn’t know me, so why was he so dead set on me?

His answer was he could get to know me henceforth. However, he was still waiting for that to happen because I didn’t give him a chance to lay the first stone.

My argument was, if he really got to know me, he wouldn’t like me anymore, with how average my ordinary self was. d1uSBc

He said, I am also an ordinary person. I know you are not perfect, but this does not prevent me from liking you. Liking is a very unreasonable feeling. I have never experienced it before. Now that I meet someone I like for the first time, I don’t want to miss it. Give me time to get to know you, and you to get to know me. Give me a chance, okay?

His counter argument was that he was also an ordinary person. He knew that I wasn’t perfect, and that didn’t stop him from liking me. There’s no logic behind liking someone. It was a first for him to experience this, and it was something he didn’t want to miss. He asked for a chance, for more time to get to know me, and vice versa.

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

…

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I came from a small place. I was always the top student in the class when I was in high school. I was praised all the way up. But once I got to college and was surrounded by so many outstanding people, I was dwarfed by them. In addition, my personality I am introverted and don’t like to talk, and my sense of presence in study and life is almost zero. I have been living with low self-esteem for two or three years in college. Suddenly such an outstanding person stood in front of me and said he liked me. I was confused.

Please visit chrysanthemumgarden (dot) com

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How should I put this? 0Vtb6P

I felt very flattered.

So, I said to him, let’s give it a try.

He practically went wild with joy. He took my hands and swung them. If we weren’t right below the dormitory, he would have taken me in his arms and spun me around.

Then he still came every week and stayed for most of the day. He would come downstairs in the morning and wait for me to come down. If I wanted to study by myself, he would study with me. After studying by himself, he would accompany me for a walk, usually at school, but sometimes Go to the river outside the school. He usually doesn’t take the initiative to hold my hand. Two men holding hands are inherently eye-catching. Plus, I’m lukewarm, so he doesn’t dare to. Only when it’s late and there are few people, he deliberately goes around there. There was a very uneven path, and then he said to be careful and it would be best to pull me along. He secretly hooked his fingers with mine and let go as soon as I made any movement. YzrI3

After that, he continues to visit me every weekend and stays the majority of the day. In the morning, he will be waiting for me downstairs. During my self-study, he will self-study with me as well. Once that’s done, we will stroll around, usually staying on campus. There were times when we would walk along a river right outside of campus. Usually, he won’t take the initiative to hold my hand, since two men holding hands are just asking for attention. Moreover, my indifference added to his hesitation. The only time was at night without that many people around. He would purposely make a detour to an uneven trail, telling me to be careful and best if I was to hold onto him, then stealthily curled his finger with mine. He did keep an eye on me and would let go at the first sign of a change.

( ｰ̀дｰ́ )

Cute, right? I really find him adorable. I didn’t know if every relationship was this sweet, but it really felt that he was soaking me in a honeypot. I’m actually very shy and prone to blushing, but I continued to work very hard to pretend to be aloof, looking at him like looking at a child.

  BKP4DV

Discussion (124):

Beauty of Nature: I’m feeling sour!

Jia Jia–ing: Another day of shedding tears for other people’s romance…

Years of Peace: Are guys really this sweet nowadays? I also want to be in a relationship! VAKM0

233233: Already bookmarked this response, moved my small stool and got the front row seat to eat melon seeds.

Hey Big Brother: Am I the only one who found the whole story fake? If Anon was really that lackluster, how could he attract someone that outstanding? Maybe his boyfriend is not as amazing as he described.

Liu Annn » Hey Big Brother: You’re not wrong. And actually, with how difficult and unlikable Anon’s personality is, it’s super tiring to date this kind of person. How could the story be this sweet…

Hey Big Brother » Liu Annn: In the world of Zhihu, people share their made-up story. UTHkLl

yogaga: Aren’t the people above being way too sour…

Qi Xi: Bookmarked this response as well. Looking forward to the next post.

Chrysanthemum Garden.

You guys are too cute, eating my melon seeds? Hahaha, I was only looking for a hole to spill my inner thoughts, how did it turn into a melon eating party?

I have to prepare for the postgraduate entrance examination recently. My boyfriend has good grades and can stay in the school as a postgraduate student. I have to be a postgraduate entrance examination dog. I really regret not studying hard in my freshman and sophomore years! In fact, I also want to go to Shanghai and be with him, but I am hesitant. GYrod6

I need to study for the graduate program. With my boyfriend’s grades, he has a guaranteed spot in his university’s graduate program with his postgraduate recommendation. While I have to sit through the entrance exam like a dog. I regretted not studying harder during my first and second years. I actually wanted to get into a university in Shanghai, but the thought of being together with him made me hesitate.

One, it’s very tough to get into a university in Shanghai, so I need to prepare for the upcoming war. Two, I don’t have the courage to tell him. I’m afraid of the possibility that he didn’t include me in his future plan. If I tell him about my goal to continue my education in Shanghai right now, I’ll make things hard on him.

The dilemma~

Oh right, it’s almost my boyfriend’s birthday, and I’m more excited than he is (๑˙ー˙๑). This will be the first birthday we’ll be celebrating together after all. I had better have everything ready. Ahhhh, the dilemma worsened~ TNArHq

I’m back. April 12th, 2019 (need to put a date on each entry, and it will be just like writing a diary)

Someone asked how the two of us got together.

Actually, how it started could be described as going with the flow. With his tiresome pursuit against my mild-tempered response, we just got together.

But something happened during that time. tZAvHd

There’s a group that I’m in, about seventeen to eighteen members. These are all my people, my gay friends if you will. I only joined the group during my second year. Even so, everyone treated me well, and it gave me a sense of belonging.

Before my boyfriend was my boyfriend, I secretly told this matter to one of them that I was pretty close with. Instead, he couldn’t keep his mouth shut. By the next day, everyone in the group knew. They all wanted to meet him, but out of my embarrassment, I didn’t agree.

As a result, when my boyfriend came to see me on the weekend, someone saw him and took a photo and posted it in the group. I didn’t look at my phone until I saw my boyfriend off that night. Unexpectedly, the group went viral early on. Everyone was praising my boyfriend for being handsome, having a good figure, and so on. On the surface, they all envied me, but in fact, there was a kind of confusion and confusion between the lines. The jealousy is quite obvious. (After all, it’s everywhere, everyone knows it)

What ended up happening was, the weekend my boyfriend came to find me, someone in the group spotted him, took a picture of him and shared it to the group chat. The same night after I sent my boyfriend off, I checked the chat and finally learned about the huge reaction in the chat. They were all praising how handsome my boyfriend was, his great figure and what not. But behind those praises and between the words, there were obviously signs of discord and jealousy. (Since you know, there are drifting zeros everywhere) poil9U

Maybe I was influenced by my boyfriend’s daily brainless praise, because I slowly see the better side of myself. At that time, I went through their chat history countless times, and it inflicted damage to my ego each time. Their messages reminded me how in others’ eyes, there’s still a huge league between me and my boyfriend.

Whether it be appearances, or other categories.

Right, what caused him to like me, even to this day, I haven’t figured it out.

I said before that I am average-looking, but some people don’t believe it, and I don’t know how to explain it. In terms of male aesthetics, I should belong to the girl’s side (why do I say that about myself-_-||), I am very thin, I am fairer, of average height, and may look weaker in appearance, but my behavior is not girly at all. I have been very distressed since I was a child. I am particularly afraid of others calling me a girl, so I never take the initiative to get close to girls. And because of my sexual orientation, I don’t dare to get too close to boys. icrJRp

Before, I had mentioned how average I looked. Despite people not believing it, I really don’t know how to explain it. From a guy’s point of view, I belong to those that hover around being too effeminate (why am I calling myself out -_-||). I’m very skinny, on the paler side, and of normal height. I’m just weaker looking than your average guy, but I don’t behave effeminate at all. This is probably the bane of my existence since I was a kid. I’m especially afraid of being called effeminate by others, so I don’t take the initiative to get close to girls. And because of my sexual orientation, I also don’t dare to get close to guys.

That’s why I don’t have many friends in college. I’m at most a nodding acquaintance with people in my group chat. Humans are a social creature ultimately; this is why I hate to part with my boyfriend. At the very least, we could have stayed as friends. Beside him, there is no one else who would lend me their ears. No matter what boring subject I talked about, he would give me his full attention.

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

I never spent his money, I always pay for my share in everything, and I never rely on him. There were times when I wished for someone’s company, but as long as he didn’t take the initiative to contact me, I won’t trouble him. I feel at ease just knowing there’s someone like that in my life. Not only as a companion, but also, most importantly, as a kind of approval.

The whole world had already found me the most average Joe I could be. But in his heart, I’m more precious than the star, and this felt amazing. This was why I wanted to give him a chance, as well as give myself a chance. Xg1BIL

The same night, I messaged him, saying that we should date, the official kind.

He was busy at that time, and it took him half an hour to return my message via phone call. He was nearly incoherent, asking if today was April first, or if I experienced some kind of stimulation to send that message.

You see, the poor child was reduced to this by me.

I give a negative answer for all of them. My only reasoning was not to waste time anymore. Since the feeling was mutual, why not get together? QjzmJW

You should have seen his crazy reaction. He sent me a dozen red envelopes at once. I even joked with him how this amount was too small to provide for me.

He then asked if he could provide for me forever if he paid one hundred times of that amount.

This touched my heart, really. ‘Forever’, that was what he said for the very first time. I actually always wanted to hear him talk about his future plan, but he refused to tell me. This led me to believe that he wasn’t serious when he asked me out. This is also my biggest fear. Although he confirmed it would be a lifetime, I wish he would say it with more like a declaration, not some impromptu reply to my jest.