content warning
blood & violence
Ten days later, I received word that Jung Haekyung had successfully completed his mission and was on his way back. I suggested we meet at the residence hotel he had a long-term lease for. I whispered into the phone that I had scattered rose petals around the place and that I wanted to see him as soon as possible.
While waiting for Jung Haekyung, I glanced out the window and noticed that the weather was gloomy today as well. The sun glimmered with an ivory light, concealed behind the foggy, milky-white tint of the sky. Sleet continued to fall—too much of a drizzle to call it snow, and too white to call it rain. The sleet soon transformed into lines of rain, leaving diagonal streaks on the window as they passed, accompanied by a fierce howling wind. I wiped the foggy window with my palm and looked down below. The umbrellas of those walking down the streets, their scarves pulled up to their eyes, were upended by the wind, and trees with lingering leaves quivered with force. After gazing outside for a while, I spotted a familiar car parked in front of the hotel, and Jung Haekyung stepped out of it.
Soon, I heard the sound of a beep as his key card was recognised. I ran to the door, embracing Jung Haekyung as he entered. The interior, with the boiler turned on to the max, was enveloped in warm air, making it feel both comfortable and cosy. However, Jung Haekyung’s clothes seemed saturated with cold air.
“I missed you, Haekyung-ah.”
“Me too, Euijin-ah.”
Jung Haekyung offered a sweet smile, but he looked a little tired, which didn’t fit him. Perhaps it was because he had returned directly from his area of mission. As I brushed off the moisture from Jung Haekyung’s clothes and hair, I asked, “Did you have a hard time?”
“Yeah, because I couldn’t see you.”
“Me too.”
Jung Haekyung placed a gentle kiss on my upper lip before drawing back. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him back towards me. Wordlessly, I kissed his lips once more, pressing against the faint smile that had graced them, and sucked on the slightly roughened texture of his lips. After a while of standing at the door and kissing, I took him by the hand and led him to the bathroom. The water in the bathtub was overflowing and warmed to the right temperature. Jung Haekyung said, leaning against the bathroom door, “It smells like lemon balm.”
“You like that scent, don’t you?”
Even though I had added a lethal dose of a colourless and odourless drug, absorbable through the skin, into the bathtub, I didn’t expect any significant effects. It didn’t really matter if he found out, either. I could just tell him that I wanted to spend a deep night with him. Within the humid and warm confines of the bathroom, I marked each undone button of his shirt with a kiss. On the seventh kiss, Jung Haekyung’s torso, sculpted with muscles, was unveiled. There was a deep stab wound on the side of his body that I hadn’t noticed before. When I looked at his wound, Jung Haekyung said, “You said you would nurse me.”
I ran a palm over his wound and whispered to him, “Clean up, and then join me outside. Let’s eat something delicious.”
“Do you want to wash up together?”
“I have some preparations to make…”
“I’m curious. What is it that you want to give me?”
“You’ll see.”
Exiting the bathroom, I gently closed the door behind me and busied myself setting the table with all of Jung Haekyung’s favourite dishes. Despite it being room service, the soft glow of candlelight and the presence of a wine bottle made it look quite impressive.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
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“It’s always been like this, ever since we first met,” said Jung Haekyung, leaning lazily against the dining table’s chair. I poured some wine into the glass in front of him. He turned the glass, studying the red liquid for a moment before pouring some into his mouth and swallowing. He tapped the glass with his long fingers and asked, “Did you add something to it?”
“Yeah.”
“What did you add?”
“Something good.”
I filled my glass halfway with some wine as well. When I brought the tip of the glass to my lips, sitting directly across from him with our eyes locked, Jung Haekyung stood up and extended his arm across the table. He gently took the glass from my hand.
“Don’t drink it. It’s a little too strong for you, okay?”
Jung Haekyung sat back down and slowly sipped the wine in my glass as well. I nodded and started slicing into the rare-cooked steak. Using my fork, I lifted a piece of the blood-soaked meat and brought it to Jung Haekyung’s lips. Leaning towards me, he accepted the meat and took a bite. I took a bite as well. Truth be told, I really disliked meat that was dripping with blood, but Jung Haekyung enjoyed seeing me eat well.
“Don’t you dislike that?”
Jung Haekyung gestured to the plate of steak with his chin. Then, he set a portion of smoked salmon sprinkled with horseradish in front of me. Taking another bite of the steak, I said, “I felt like eating meat today.”
“Then, let’s order a new one. Well-done this time.”
“I don’t want anyone to come.”
“Then, do you want me to cook it for you?”
Seeing Jung Haekyung about to stand up with the steak plate in hand, I shook my head.
“I want to eat another kind of meat.”
I crawled under the dining table. I moved on my knees under the large table, just until I reached Jung Haekyung’s feet. Although I had never done this of my own volition, it was a very natural process, as it was something familiar to me.
I kissed my way up from the tip of Jung Haekyung’s left foot to his ankle, calf, knee, and the inside of his thigh, making chu sounds along the way. Taking in the familiar scent of lemon balm that emanated from his body, I used the broad area of my tongue to lick his tip down to the base of his cock. Gently fondling his sac, I proceeded to suck on his thick cock, taking it deep enough for my face to rub against his coarse body hair. While I was still an amateur when it came to shoving it inside my throat and tightening around it, I still tried to swallow the cock deep inside my mouth and did my best to move my uvula. However, Jung Haekyung slightly pulled his body back, gently stroking my hair as he did so.
“Don’t overdo it,” he said in a low tone, his voice sounding above me.
Though he was saying this now, when he wanted to do it, he would grab my hair and thrust his cock all the way down my throat. Just when was the last time he’d keep me in such a state, spilling every last drop of his semen inside me? Even when I was sick, he would shove his cock inside my mouth and force me to eat his cum. It seemed the drug I had fed him today had no effect, as he didn’t look particularly excited. It didn’t matter. I just had to make sure he didn’t tell me to stop. Who was the one who should be saying stop, though? I smiled, appreciative of his consideration, and slightly lifted his cock, nibbling from the base to the tip with my lips.
I began to lick from Jung Haekyung’s navel, exposed between the loosened shower gown, to the side of his torso where the wound was located, and then sat on top of him. With two grown men sitting and moving on top of it, the chair was bound to start creaking. I rubbed the big, hardened cock between our stomachs and tightly hugged him in accordance with the creaks. Jung Haekyung stroked my back and whispered, “What day is it today?”
“A day too long since I’ve last seen you.”
“Did you miss me that badly?”
“Yeah.”
Licking my way up Jung Haekyung’s nape, I could feel the prominent tendons and veins under the tip of my tongue. I resisted the urge to bite into that pale neck and instead kissed and licked along his jawline and cheek before finally sucking and licking on his lower lip. Jung Haekyung leaned back slightly and said, “Euijin-ah.”
“Hm?”
“I like you.”
“Me too.”
“I love you, Euijin-ah.”
“Me too, Haekyung-ah.”
After a tender confession of love, we kissed again. Our teeth collided, our tongues engaged in a sticky dance, and we exchanged breaths. Jung Haekyung sucked on my tongue as if wanting to devour me, savouring my saliva. His hand, previously tracing down my spine, slipped into my pants, caressing my rear. His touch still felt as warm and soft as ever. However, unlike that touch, Jung Haekyung spoke in a low tone, “Do you really love me?”
“…Why? Do you still not feel my sincerity?”
“I don’t know. I can’t read your mind.”
“Didn’t you say that’s why you liked me?”
“I did, but now I want to know how you feel.”
“I love you, Haekyung-ah.”
“Me too… but your actions always seem to differ from your words.”
“Is that so?”
Jung Haekyung rested his chin on my shoulder. The hand that embraced me seemed to tremble a little. Though it wasn’t visible to the eyes, I could tell, both in his eyes and in his heart. But there was no way that could be true. No, don’t do that. You don’t have the right to do that. Jung Haekyung whispered in my ear, “It’s okay. We’ll be equal one day.”
“Yeah. Let’s be equal from now on.”
I hugged him, our bodies facing each other, and slid the already-loaded gun beneath his shoulder blade. Then, I moved my finger. Just as Jung Haekyung had taught me, just as I had practiced, I pulled the trigger with the right amount of force and a steady posture.
With a resounding bang!, Jung Haekyung’s collarbone cracked, and the bullet embedded itself in the back of his heart. Even at such close range, I didn’t flinch in fear of the recoil, just as he had taught me. If the bullet had traversed through Jung Haekyung’s back and pierced through his body, it might’ve posed a danger to me, who was embracing him, as well. However, the Sig Sauer P239, at less than seven inches in length, didn’t have that kind of performance. Anyhow, larger and heavier weapons would’ve only increased my chances of getting caught, and a clean cut through Jung Haekyung’s heart would’ve only increased his chances of survival.
Civilians had a 96% chance of being incapacitated in battle with a well-placed shot from a .357 SIG bullet. Honestly, at this close proximity, percentages were practically meaningless; it equated to instant death. However, Jung Haekyung was not a civilian. Would the rotation speed of the bullet embedded in his heart be faster, or would Jung Haekyung’s self-healing speed be faster? According to the experimental data, Jung Haekyung’s healing speed was only marginally faster.
Due to the bullet’s momentum, both Jung Haekyung and I, along with the chair, crashed to the floor with a loud thud. Although I was in quite a lot of pain, having been thrown to the floor due to the combined weight of both Jung Haekyung and the chair, I could endure it. Within four seconds, I aimed the gun at the centre of Jung Haekyung’s forehead again. I had undergone three years of special training, with marksmanship being the domain I focused on the most. At first, it was because there was nothing else I could do, but later on, it was because I dreamed of this moment.
Bang!
A hole was shot through his forehead as well. Though the bullet hadn’t quite managed to execute a clean shot through his head and embed into the ceiling, that just meant that it was still lodged in his brain, spinning violently as we speak. He was already concentrating on healing his heart, so he probably wouldn’t have the luxury of healing his brain as well. It was a shame I couldn’t get a CT scan of his brain to witness it firsthand, but there was no time to waste.
This time, too, I successfully retrieved my knife within the four-second window. Just as Jung Haekyung would meticulously select his dog collars, I put my heart and soul into picking a knife with rows of sawteeth, and I put my heart and soul into sharpening it as well. In order for it to make the messiest cut possible. In order for it to tear his flesh apart as best as it could. In order for a lethal amount of blood to gush out, unable to do anything about it.
In order to get rid of any future troubles, I had to cut his throat. I didn’t even want to leave a one-in-a million chance of something happening. I was stupid, but not stupid to the point of hesitating when I had come this far. I drove my knife into Jung Haekyung’s throat. While I may not have been able to bite this fucking son of a bitch’s neck off, I’d probably be able to cut it.
I applied pressure to the knife wedged in his neck and attempted to move it sideways, but it wouldn’t budge. It felt just as though it were lodged in a solid tree. Right at that moment, Jung Haekyung grabbed the hand that was holding the knife. It felt as if my fingers were going to break because of the force of his grip. Jung Haekyung slightly parted his lips. Though no sound came out of it, judging from the movement of his lips, it seemed like he was asking, “Why?” Instead of answering, I kicked his stomach as hard as I could. Only then did the recoil cause his hand to release mine.
Jung Haekyung, who was laying sprawled out on the floor with a hole in both his head and heart and a knife lodged in his throat, was no longer able to blink or even move. Maybe it was because he had grabbed my hand, but the bleeding, which had temporarily stopped, suddenly spurted out again, soaking my clothes. Though Jung Haekyung wouldn’t be able to hear this, I answered his question anyway. Not because I was being forced, but out of my own will.
“Because this isn’t love.”
There was no more time now. It was a shame that I wasn’t able to sever his head from his neck, but there was too little time to start hacking away at the reinforced muscles of an ability user. In his current state, Jung Haekyung had no other option but to die, no matter how much of a monster he was. However, Jung Haekyung’s death wouldn’t mark the end of things.
My goal didn’t end simply with the death of Jung Haekyung. I wanted to live in a place without Jung Haekyung. I didn’t want a meaningless end where Jung Haekyung would die and I would die as well. That was the worst outcome. The fact that, up until this very moment, my life consisted of Jung Haekyung living and me living as well—that was the lesser evil. All this time, I had chosen the lesser evil because I didn’t want to experience the worst. Jung Haekyung dying while I continued living was the best-case scenario. Why did I ignore the best-case scenario and opt for the lesser evil all this time? Truth be told, I knew the answer. Despite its brevity, I couldn’t forget the bright times. Traces of the warmth Haekyung had once promised to fill me with still lingered.
However, Jung Haekyung had filled me to the brim with the wrong emotions. The version of me that he had filled would grow empty whenever I was apart from him, even if just for a moment. The moment I left S.E. with Lee Junggeon, I wanted to return to Jung Haekyung. The only thing I could think of was him. The words he had spoken to me coiled around my body, almost as if they were alive. Life coursed through his words, holding power inside them, and crawled up my spine, creeping up to my brain before deeply penetrating inside it.
That night, when I ran into him on the dark road, fear and terror gripped me. However, those weren’t the reasons why I ran for my life, trying to get away from him. I felt relieved when I saw Jung Haekyung. I was even happy, thinking that I wouldn’t have to worry my brain off anymore—that I just needed to do as he says. I was disgusted by myself; I thought I was spineless, so I wanted to get away from Jung Haekyung.
The hardest thing for me to bear was the fact that Jung Haekyung would confuse me. There were times when the sweet nothings he whispered into my ear and the special actions he’d reserve for me only felt genuine. However, he would go on and on about the fact that he didn’t want to put anything other than himself inside me while simultaneously fantasising about implanting a womb in my body. Every time he whispered to me that I was pretty, I felt myself becoming more and more ugly, and every action seemingly done for my sake only served to tear down the ground beneath my feet. The one whose words and actions differed from each other wasn’t me, but Jung Haekyung. It was difficult to get my mind together when I was by his side. Had I lingered beneath him a bit longer, I might have truly become an idiot incapable of distinguishing between worst, lesser, and best. Even now, I was stupid, but I would’ve probably become stupid to the point of being unable to do a thing, genuinely taking it upon myself to lick his dick like a dog, to profess my love to him, to move my hips around, begging him to fuck me, cumming every single time out of pleasure, waiting for nothing but him all day long, thinking only of him.
That was the final stage of love that Jung Haekyung dreamed about—a perfect love. In order to achieve his own version of true love, Jung Haekyung was treading on what he perceived as his version of a romantic process. In a not-so-distant future, I would trust him, love him, yearn for him, and harbour hope, just as he desired. I would probably find myself both trusting and doubting him, loving and hating him, desiring and denying him, and experiencing both hope and despair at the same time, my sights set on only him. All while carrying his seed in my stomach.
Before that day came, I decided to make every effort to live. I had to protect myself. I had to protect my self-respect.
I changed my clothes in the car and headed straight for the airport. Throughout the journey, the winter rain showered down on my surroundings. The weather was gloomy, but my preparations for leaving were already perfect. The passports of several nationalities that Lee Junggeon had brought, the currencies of several countries that Lee Junggeon had prepared, and the forged documents that Lee Junggeon had arranged…
No, those weren’t Lee Junggeon’s; they were the gifts that Jung Haekyung had meticulously arranged in order to play with me. Could I actually use these? Nonetheless, I was sure. Jung Haekyung, who sought perfection in the strangest places, would’ve never been careless with the props for such an entertaining game.
I rode the car that Jung Haekyung had gifted me, wore the clothes he had chosen for me, and used the props he had prepared for me to embark on the long journey. I even had the illusion that this all felt like something he had orchestrated. Jung Haekyung liked new types of plays. Things like hide and seek. He liked anything. If the seeker in a game of two of hide and seek were to die, then the game would end. Even if, by a one-in-a-million chance, the seeker were to survive and continue to search for the other player, they would have to return home if they couldn’t find them before sunset. Regardless, the game would end. I safely boarded the plane headed for Colombia.
Ohh my gosh why do I feel like Haekyung is still going to survive 😭
Thank you for the chapter translator! 😫🫶
The anxietyyyyyy 😬😬😬😬😬
Oh my god.I can’t get rid of this looming fear that Haekyung is just playing along with this game of his and he’s actually alive.
Eek I have a feeling the story isn’t over yet.. unless it is? Idk but I think he’s still alive
THAT’S RIGHT BABY, YOU GO LIVE THE LIFE YOU ALWAYS DESERVED uncontrollably sobbing 😭😭😭
please die pleeeeease