I didn’t know how long I’d been there. I gave up counting the days. Counting them would only make it harder to endure. When the door opened, Jung Haekyung would leave, and when it opened again, he’d return. Then, I would welcome him home, kiss him, and tell him about my day. Being confined to home all day often left me with little to talk about, so I took it upon myself to watch variety shows or dramas to have more to say. If I mentioned a funny joke, Jung Haekyung would laugh along. If I explained the plot of a drama, Jung Haekyung would nod, listening attentively as he did so.
Jung Haekyung also shared what happened at S.E. They had suppressed all of the FEL’s forces, including the remnant groups, and my father was repatriated to Korea and in the midst of being investigated, but he was scheduled to be acquitted. He also mentioned that Director Baek might be promoted to Colonel Baek. Just like that, we would discuss our daily work while sharing meals, watching movies, or playing games together.
On the weekend, I sat with a vacant gaze, watching the news on television as Jung Haekyung was out on a short trip. The announcer delivered nothing but heartwarming news. The world had found momentary peace, so why did I feel so disappointed about it? I felt sorry towards the people of the world, but something had to happen for Jung Haekyung to stop with this little game of his. It seemed that such an event wasn’t on the horizon for a while. In that case, I had to find another way.
The door opened again. Jung Haekyung came in. He had bought something, holding it in his hand. I accepted it. When I peered inside the plastic bag, I found cheese, tomatoes, pizza dough, and other stuff.
“Are you hungry?”
Jung Haekyung headed into the kitchen and busied himself for a while. I was watching a drama rerun when I heard him call my name. I went to the dining table. Jung Haekyung took out a pizza from the oven and placed it on the table. He lifted a slice, white cheese stretching to follow it. I hadn’t had a proper meal in a while, but I didn’t feel like eating. Despite my empty stomach, I didn’t feel hungry. The red and white toppings, once ordinary, now appeared as if they had been regurgitated to me. Forcing myself to take a bite, my stomach revolted. As I began retching, Jung Haekyung spoke in a worried tone, “I think you might be pregnant, but is it possible for you to get pregnant, even though we used protection?”
“…I suppose.”
In an effort to match Jung Haekyung’s mood, I forced myself to swallow the pizza I was chewing. However, when I took the second bite, instead of retching, I had to rush to the bathroom to vomit for real. I clung to the toilet and puked, but aside from the pizza I had just swallowed, only clear liquid came out. Jung Haekyung followed me all the way into the bathroom, squatted down, and gently patted my back.
“I’ve heard that even condoms can be defective. What if it’s an unplanned pregnancy? Still, we should make sure to raise the child well, right?”
“…Yeah, let’s make sure we do that.”
I matched his tune instead of swearing at him. After rinsing my mouth, I picked up the pizza again, but Jung Haekyung made me put it down.
“If you don’t want pizza, is there anything else you’d like to eat?”
Even though there was nothing I wanted to eat, there was something I wanted to do. With Jung Haekyung seemingly in a good mood lately, would it be alright for me to mention it? Wouldn’t I just upset him for no reason? For now, I needed to go along with Jung Haekyung’s mood, and most importantly, I didn’t want to eat a single thing.
“Let’s do something else.”
I took Jung Haekyung’s hand and led him to the bed. He obediently followed. He continued to laugh, even as he spoke nonsense such as how the faulty rate of condoms was less than one percent, how we should give the fetus the name “Pun,” and asked what I thought of using “Puni” as a cuter way of pronouncing it. Even as he started doing nonsense like placing his head near my stomach and saying, “Puni-ya, what do you want to eat? Dad will buy it for you,” I restrained myself and said, “I want to go outside.”
“Why?” Jung Haekyung, who was licking my stomach, lifted his head and asked. Why? There were as many reasons as there were stars in the sky. However, I had to choose the words that would bother him the least.
“I feel stifled, bored, and honestly just want to go back…”
“What if you disappear again? What am I supposed to do then?”
“…I won’t do that.”
“How can I trust you?”
Even though I had resolved to empty my heart, I still found myself at a loss for words. If we really had to pinpoint the person who couldn’t be trusted here, no one would be able to hold a candle to Jung Haekyung. I wouldn’t be feeling this much injustice if I were the one leading the current situation. Purposefully orchestrating situations where he wouldn’t be able to trust me, acting forcefully as he claims he doesn’t trust me. First it was love, and now he’s talking about trust?
Trust, wish, and love. Jung Haekyung shamelessly uttered the three words that suited him the least. Even Jesus would surely reject Jung Haekyung’s version of trust, wish, and love. You never wanted to trust me in the first place. There wasn’t any need to trust me either. Do as you please, bastard. There was so much I wanted to say, and anger surged within me, but the only time I could shout those words was within the confines of a bamboo forest. In order to go out, I had to offer him a different response.
“I love you, Haekyung-ah…”
“Me too.”
Once again, Jung Haekyung swept his tongue across my abdomen. He pressed his lips against my stomach, murmuring, “Our Puni.” In the midst of all this, he suddenly lifted his head and looked at me.
“Your words and actions always differ from each other, you know?”
“……”
“I don’t know if I’ll be able to control myself if you have my child and vanish with another bastard.”
Jung Haekyung crawled up my body and caressed my neck. He tightened his grip around my throat, following the fresh red marks from the collar. Suffocated, I gasped, and he quickly released his hold, but an unmistakable expression of disappointment lingered on his face.
“If so, won’t I regret it?”
What do you mean, regret? Just look at that disappointed expression of yours. No, never mind, I give up on trying to understand this bastard. Let’s just stop with these futile actions. Instead, I spoke as dolefully as I could, “I love you, Haekyung-ah.”
“I love you too, Euijin-ah.”
It was pretty characteristic of him to earnestly respond to each and every one of my confessions. I pinned my hope on this sincere and consistent attitude of his. Love, wish, trust, and, alongside them, another word that didn’t suit Jung Haekyung—hope. It was pathetic to invest so much in such a fragile word, but I was no longer digging a hole of shame for myself. I hadn’t forgotten that Jung Haekyung was the fundamental cause of this situation. I held him tightly, burying my face in the nape of his neck as I begged, “Haekyung-ah, it’s too suffocating.”
“Should we move to a bigger place?”
“In the Romance White Book, entry 107…”
“……”
“It says that, if your lover genuinely regrets their actions, you should forgive them.”
“Really? Which chapter?”
I didn’t know either. In reality, I had never even watched such a programme, and there was no way I’d ask for forgiveness when I didn’t even know what I did wrong. However, Jung Haekyung had ears that only listened to what he wanted to hear and a brain that only accepted things in his favour, so it didn’t matter what anyone said. I just wanted to create a pretext for begging.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
“Ljfxsecu-jt, P kjr kgbcu.”
“Mbg ktja?”
“Mbg obbilrtis obiibklcu gjcvbw qfbqif jgbecv…”
“Ccv?”
“Mbg yfagjslcu sbeg agera…”
“Qtja firf?”
“Mbg vbeyalcu sbeg ibnf…”
“Tfjt. Ktja wjvf wf nfgs rjv.”
“P kjr kgbcu. Mbgulnf wf, pera atlr bcmf, bxjs?”
Po P tjv j ajli, P kbeiv tjnf kjuufv la. Po P tjv fjgr, atfs kbeiv’nf qfgxfv eq. Cwbcu atf njglber asqfr bo nlygjabgr vlrqijsfv ja tbwf, atfgf kjr fnfc bcf klat j ajli. Lbkfnfg, Aecu Ljfxsecu vlvc’a kjca jcsatlcu ublcu lcrlvf wf, fnfc lo la kjr pera jc bypfma, rb tf cfnfg lcrfgafv atfw lc wf. P tjv cb mief kts tf kbeiv qegmtjrf atfw ys asqf atfc, yea ja atlr nfgs wbwfca, P kjr kliilcu ab qfgrbcjiis lcrfga bcf bo atfw lcrlvf ws yjmx tbif. P xcfia vbkc, ygbeuta ws mtffx ab tlr kjlrayjcv, jcv geyyfv ws ojmf jujlcra la. P erfv ws wbeat ab ecvb atf yemxif bo tlr qjcar jcv qeiifv vbkc tlr hlqqfg ktlif rjslcu, “Ljfxsecu-jt, ifa’r tjnf rfz.”
“You want to do it?”
“I want to do it.”
“Today’s a little…”
“What?”
“You shouldn’t be having sex in the early stages of pregnancy.”
Why was this bastard so damn serious about his roleplay? It made me feel as though I were actually pregnant. Still, I could somewhat tolerate this. So long as it gets me out.
I took off the t-shirt that I was still wearing. Even if it had already been stretched out, t-shirts had long become disposable anyway. I took Jung Haekyung’s t-shirt off as well. He compliantly raised his arms, facilitating my task of undressing him.
“Considering you’re its dad, wouldn’t it be quite tough?”
“You think so? Its other dad is too weak, though.”
I pulled the pyjama bottoms I’d been wearing halfway down. Since I wasn’t wearing any underwear, my penis was exposed right away. It was already half-erect, as Jung Haekyung had been rubbing it since earlier. I covered the shaft with my palm. Then, I grasped the base of the tip with my finger and thumb and gently stroked it up and down. As I tightened my grip, then loosened it again, stroking continuously, it quickly began to harden. I slowly stroked my inner thigh with the other hand.
“Ha, ugh…”
Jung Haekyung watched me with darkened eyes. His stare was unnervingly persistent, causing my breath to grow even more erratic. I pressed down on my perineum with the same hand that was massaging my thigh. My legs were wide apart, my knees elevated to allow him a clearer view, and I moved my finger further back. However, I had no way of knowing if he would like it if I slipped my finger into my hole or not. So, I just rubbed the area around it as I whispered to him, “Haekyung-ah, ngh, I won’t… be able… to cum, without you.”
Before I could even finish my words, Jung Haekyung pulled me into a tight hug and kissed me. He bit down on my lower lip, his thick tongue grazing past the back of mine before coiling around it. The throbbing felt as intense as when I was touching my perineum, but nonetheless, I continued to move the hand that was stroking my cock. My glans pushed against his firm abdomen, and our bodies were tightly wrapped around each other.
“Ah, ugh, ungh… Give it to me, hm?”
“…You’re a bad dad.”
Jung Haekyung pulled open the drawer beside the bed, keeping his lips on mine. He was looking for a condom, as if it were the natural thing to do, but I grabbed his wrist. Then, I pushed the drawer shut and looked him in the eyes.
“Let’s… just do it.”
“……”
“I’ve been trying to tell you this for a while now.”
“……”
“I like… doing it raw more.”
“…What a unique taste you have.”
Jung Haekyung let out a slight laugh. However, his eyes gleamed with desire. I laughed as well, whispering in his ear. You’re the one who made me like this. I love you, Haekyung-ah.
Jung Haekyung held me close, nibbling on the tip of my jaw, the back of my neck, and the inner corner of my shoulder. A soft moan escaped me, causing him to grit his teeth, as if suppressing the urge to bite down. He then seized my ankle and traced his tongue across my ankle bone. I wrapped my other leg, the one he hadn’t grabbed, around his waist.
Jung Haekyung paused to catch his breath, maintaining the same position before reaching an arm out to retrieve a bottle of lube from the drawer. He then poured the lube between my wide-open legs. The bottle of lube was completely crumpled, as if he were aiming to tear it to shreds. Jung Haekyung threw the near-empty bottle beside the bed before inserting a finger inside me, sucking on my lips as he did so. He would usually warm the lube with his hands before spreading it on my behind, but today I felt the coolness of the lube directly on my skin.
The cold and firm finger that squeezed inside me traced circles into my walls, digging deeper and deeper. My thighs trembled and spasmed as I felt the slick strokes of his hand. Jung Haekyung kissed my inner thigh, as if wanting to suck on it.
“Agh, ah… ugh.”
The amount of fingers that intruded inside me slowly increased in number. I shuddered as they continued to press down on the same spot. At the same time, I trembled, feeling the sensation of warm lips moving from my thighs to my crotch.
“…Ah, ugh… Haekyung… ah…”
“Hm?”
“…Something else…”
“Something else?”
“…Deeper…”
“…My dear Euijin, you’re incorrigible.”
Jung Haekyung’s fingers slid out. A firm glans pressed against my rapidly contracting hole. The heavy shaft rubbed against my backside.
“…Yes, this…”
Jung Haekyung smiled. However, the smile soon faded from his face. Jung Haekyung slowly inserted himself inside me. He wasn’t the type to violently rape me. That was why, slowly but surely, he began to fill me up. Still, I felt suffocated by the pressure. When he finally managed to bury his entire length deep within me, I felt stuffed to the brim. Jung Haekyung waited a little, giving me a moment to familiarise myself with the sensation, before starting to move his waist little by little. The large and solid cock began to thrust into my inner walls. Each time he pressed against that specific point inside me, I struggled, a shiver running down my spine.
“…Ah! Ngh, agh!”
Whenever Jung Haekyung slowly withdrew from inside me, I would attempt to move my hips and push him back in again. Each time, he would whisper, “Don’t fret,” into my ear and thrust hard, completely burying himself within my hole. Every time his cock pumped deep inside me, I’d hold him tight. Squeezing his cock with my inner walls, I licked his jaw and even worked my way up to his ear, sucking on it. Jung Haekyung’s pale skin carried a salty taste to it. Surprised by the fact that even his sweat held a flavour, I pleaded in his ear, “More… H-harder…”
“It’ll hurt.”
“…That’s okay… It’s oka… ngh!”
Jung Haekyung nearly withdrew his entire length, the fleeting sensation of it gliding past my inner walls and my hole contracting lasting no longer for a second before a firm and warm cock quickly thrust back inside me, accompanied by slick noises. The lube and unknown liquids that filled my insides allowed for smooth movement, but that didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt. As I was violently pounded into, the pain of being penetrated washed over me. Simultaneously, the tingling pleasure cascading down to my feet made my head feel as if it were ringing.
I trembled in tune with his movements. As I narrowed my eyes in response to the pain, Jung Haekyung planted a faint kiss on the corner of my eye. However, the speed at which his waist was moving hadn’t relented in the slightest. Amidst the unrelenting waves of pain and pleasure, I found it impossible to gather myself. It was as if fireworks were exploding right before my eyes. With each thrust of Jung Haekyung’s cock deep inside me, my spine tingled and convulsed, and my legs jerked on their own accord.
“Ah, ah, agh! Ngh… m-more!”
I felt like I was about to die, but I screamed for more. For the first time since we met, Jung Haekyung heeded my words. Liquid splattered from the hole that was being relentlessly pounded into. My moans echoed, raw and unfiltered.
“…H-Haekyung-ah! Haekyung-ah…! Ah, agh! Ugh, it hurts, st…op! No… don’t… don’t stop, ah, Haekyung-ah…!”
Finally, as his cock targeted an area deep within my inner walls, I found myself climaxing solely from the stimulation felt from behind, even if I didn’t want to admit it. Almost simultaneously, I felt an intense, spine-chilling sensation surge through my entire body.
I locked eyes with Jung Haekyung. I pulled his neck towards me again, kissing him. I sucked on his lips, which remained as warm and soft as ever, with fervour, as if wanting to drink them in. Once the aftereffects of my climax had died down a little, Jung Haekyung attempted to move again. I said, refusing to let go, “Don’t take it out.”
“You don’t want me to take it out?”
“…Yeah. I want you to keep it inside.”
“Will Puni be okay if you get pregnant again?”
“Puni will… have a twin.”
“Is that possible?”
“…I don’t know either…”
After a while had passed, I sat up, his cock still nestled inside me. Jung Haekyung’s penis gradually began to swell inside me again, pressing against my inner walls. As I shifted positions, it penetrated even deeper. It felt as though his cock was going to pierce through my lower abdomen.
“Touch it.”
I guided his hand to my lower stomach. Jung Haekyung carefully caressed the region around my navel, now adorned with red hickeys.
“Can you feel your dick inside?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you like it?”
“I like it. I like being inside you.”
I moved slowly, rubbing my ass on top of him. Seeking out my sensitive spot, I lifted my hips a little before slamming them down. With each movement, wet and obscene sounds resonated from my insides, which were filled with melted lube and semen. I used my weight to move myself up and down, ensuring that Jung Haekyung’s cock penetrated deeper than it usually would.
“Ah… agh, ugh…”
As my prostate continued to be relentlessly stimulated, my penis hardened once more, and liquid began to dribble out of it. Jung Haekyung’s cock was also erect, appearing on the brink of bursting as it pressed against my insides. Yet, he held my pelvis, making it easier for me to move. My mind was occupied with moving my waist, rubbing my ass against him, tightening my inner walls, and moaning, so Jung Haekyung’s touch proved to be very helpful.
The sound of Jung Haekyung’s breathing echoed in my ears. The muscles of his toned stomach, upon which I was seated, twitched in sync with my movements. Unlike his angular shoulders, firm forearms, and even the prominent blue veins that adorned them, his touch remained remarkably gentle.
I locked eyes with Jung Haekyung, who had his brows furrowed, breathing heavily as he seemed to hold back the desire to release. Had anyone ever seen him breathe this heavily before? His light brown eyes appeared even more beautiful as they glistened with lust. As I continued to gaze at him, he crinkled those pretty eyes of his and slowly pulled the corners of his mouth up. Seated on top of him, I thrust his cock inside my walls, calling out his name, “…Hae… kyung-ah… ngh!”
“…Relax, Euijin-ah. You’re going to hurt yourself…”
“Haekyung-ah, ugh, ah, agh, our baby… wants to emerge.”
“I see.”
Without even realising it myself, I halted my movements upon hearing his sudden words of approval, and I stared at him. He looked me in the eyes and spoke again, “Let it.”
Jung Haekyung slowly began to move in my stead. Lying down, he grasped my rear and lifted his hips. The deep insertion, one that I couldn’t control, brought a clear sense of pain, making it feel as if his cock had reached all the way to my throat, but at the same time, a clear sensation of pleasure swept through my entire body.
I gasped for breath, spilling white liquid on top of Jung Haekyung’s stomach. Naturally, I tightened up behind as well, and before long, Jung Haekyung’s cock convulsed inside me. The warm liquid spread deep within, but since I was sitting on top of him, I couldn’t contain it properly. I could feel his seed dripping out from behind me.
I had initiated this, fully aware of who, what, and why I was engaging in it. As soon as it concluded, the tips of my fingers grew cold. My throat burned, and my eyes felt heavy, so I closed them. I heard Jung Haekyung whisper, “Our relationship is one where we love each other, right?”
Yeah, a relationship where we would continuously confess our love to each other.
“The one who loves more is the one who loses more.”
Though, the colours and types of emotions were far too different, making it impossible to compare what was little and what was much.
“This time, I’ll be the one to lose again.”
I nodded, even though Jung Haekyung had never once lost to me. I then opened my eyes and stared at him again.
Internally clearing my throat a few times, afraid that my voice might sound hoarse, I said, “I love you.”
Jung Haekyung wore a bright smile and replied, “I love you, too.”
Fearing that his feelings might change, I pulled him into a hug, pouring all the sincerity I could into the embrace. I wagged my tail, perked my ears, and licked his lips and tongue. Right now, this was the only thing I could do for Jung Haekyung.
Naturally, I closed my eyes after the end of the long afterplay. I could feel Jung Haekyung slightly lift his body, turn off the bed lights, and lie down beside me again. The room plunged into darkness and silence. Typically, I would easily drift into sleep, wrapped in the lethargy that followed the rape, but tonight, sleep eluded me. A while later, Jung Haekyung began stroking my hair. In the dark, I heard his low voice.
“Can’t sleep?”
I hadn’t tossed or turned, and my breaths were steady, so I couldn’t fathom how he could tell I wasn’t sleeping. When I didn’t respond, Jung Haekyung asked again, “You can’t sleep?”
“No…”
“Is it because you’re too excited about going out?”
“It isn’t that…”
“Do you need me to sing you a lullaby?”
“No, I’ll hurry and fall asleep.”
I squeezed my eyes shut. I nervously waited for sleep to come quickly. However, it wasn’t something I could control. After a while, Jung Haekyung whispered again, “Then, do you want me to tell you an old tale?”
Jung Haekyung gently stroked my stomach and began to narrate his story in a soft tone.
“…It’s said that, long, long ago, the god Brahma created the goddess Saraswati. However, she was so beautiful that he couldn’t take his eyes off her. To avoid Brahma’s gaze, Saraswati turned to the right, so Brahma created a second head to keep watching her. As he kept shifting his gaze to wherever Saraswati moved, he ended up with four heads. This allowed him to watch her wherever she moved, regardless if it was north, south, east, or west. When Saraswati leapt to the sky to avoid him, Brahma grew another head. Now, he could even see above him. Brahma confessed to Saraswati, urging her to give birth to all kinds of beings, including humans, Suras, and Asuras. In response, Saraswati sat on the left knee of Brahma, who now had five heads. They became a couple and lived happily ever after for a long, long time… Since they’re gods, they’re probably still living well, aren’t they?”
Jung Haekyung brushed my cheek with the back of his hand and whispered in my ear, “It would be nice if I could have five heads too. Nice because then I could see you no matter where you are, and nice because you like my face.”
Jung Haekyung’s tales from the past kept me from falling asleep. I couldn’t even catch a wink of slumber. It wasn’t even the winter solstice, yet the night felt far too long. The moment that day finally dawned, I attempted to get up but was forced to lie back down again when Jung Haekyung gently pushed my shoulder. He pressed a kiss to my eyelid, causing me to close my eye, and whispered, “Don’t worry, I’ll take you out once you get some sleep.”
It was only when the next day arrived that I was able to visit S.E. with Jung Haekyung. It had been nearly two months since my last visit, yet it remained the same as it was two months ago. Someone had died, and someone had disappeared, but everything seemed unchanged, as if it were all natural. The only thing that changed was the season. When I last departed from S.E., it was autumn, but before I even realised it, winter had come, covering the mountain foothills surrounding S.E. with a blanket of white snow.
I underwent a health check-up with Director Baek and was even assigned a new bodyguard. I also caught up on all the work I had postponed until now. Despite the workload accumulating over two months, I managed to finish it all in just two days. That was how little work I had now.
Several emails from my father’s secretary had arrived, but I chose not to open them. I wasn’t curious about whether his marriage was called off, whether he did get married, or whether he was alive or dead. No, actually, I decided not to be curious. In retrospect, it was all a consequence of my father’s own choices.
I decided to give up on the rules, ethics, common sense, and conscience that I had tried to uphold because I wanted to live like a person. Such things would only have meaning if everyone tried to uphold them together. Trying to adhere to them alone would only result in me being treated like a moron. It was said that, in a town of one-eyed people, a two-eyed person would be considered a nutcase. I was tired of being treated like a nutcase, so I decided to forsake one eye. Yeah, Haekyung-ah. Let’s do things your way. If Jung Haekyung was going to love me in his own way, then I decided I would reject that love in Jung Haekyung’s way as well.
The story Jung Haekyung had shared, as always, had its next paragraph omitted. Shiva, unable to bear witness to Brahma’s actions, loving a woman no different from his daughter, cut off his fifth head. As a punishment for his sin, Shiva was then forced to wander the world while holding Brahma’s head. I will cut off that head so that Jung Haekyung will no longer be able to look at me. Should I consider it fortunate that Jung Haekyung only had one head?
I decided to kill Jung Haekyung.
orcinus comments:
my number 1 worst enemy… smut scenes
there’s a super short trailer for the revised republishing of the novel with some voice acted lines if anyone wants to hear what pukes jung haekyung sounds like
Is this novel mpreg? Or haekyung just bullshitting?
Pretty sure this man is just crazy
I WATCHED THE TRAILER AND HIS VOICE IS AS SLIMY AND CREEPY AS I IMAGINED
THERE’S A TRAILER?!
TRANSLATOR LINKS TO THE VIDEO IN END NOTES
Oh, I didn’t notice that! Thank youuu
Yes! Finally! He let go of his pride and self! Don’t let that SS-Class get over you!
“my number 1 worst enemy… smut scenes”
Felt ✌️😔
如此色情，但焦虑的漩涡淹没了我
so erotic, though, the vortex of anxiety overwhelmed me (i typed it in english dono why it changed