This week, Chen Jiayu had a relaxed schedule, with only three hours of flying on two days. Shortly after returning to Lijing, he received a call from Chang Bin, inviting him out for drinks and dinner.
Following the emergency landing incident in Hong Kong, Chen Jiayu found himself in the spotlight, showered with benefits by the company, firmly securing his position. However, Chang Bin, a senior captain at forty-nine, didn’t receive the same level of attention. Consequently, two months later, he was lured away by a higher-paying position at Hainan Airlines. Chen Jiayu knew that Chang Bin had a daughter in high school, and Chang Bin and his wife were considering sending her abroad for studies. It seemed like a good move for him to earn more money and take on less strenuous tasks, and Chen Jiayu genuinely felt happy for his old partner.
As Chang Bin became stationed at the Capital Airport after joining Hainan Airlines, their interactions dwindled, and they grew somewhat distant. It had been over a year since they last met. So, Chen Jiayu was pleasantly surprised when he received a text from Chang Bin.
Chang Bin invited him to a local restaurant and arrived first. He went ahead and ordered a selection of cold dishes as starters. When Chen Jiayu arrived, he hugged him tightly and said, “Long time no see, old Chang. How’s Dou Dou doing these days?” Chang Bin’s daughter, Chang Airong, was affectionately called Dou Dou.
Chang Bin smiled and said, “She’s doing fine, getting ready to apply for studying abroad. She said she could see you on Weibo and asked me to tell you to post more. You have so many fans.”
Chen Jiayu felt a bit embarrassed. “I don’t have much interesting to share. I was thinking of live streaming to teach people how to fly. Do you think I could post that?”
After chatting for a bit and ordering dishes, as the first main dish arrived, Chang Bin filled Chen Jiayu’s glass and said, “Jiayu, I asked you out so suddenly because I have something to tell you.”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
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Jtjcu Dlc rtbbx tlr tfjv klat j kgs rwlif, “Pa’r cba jybea atja. P’w gfalglcu.”
Kjxfc jyjmx, Jtfc Aljse jrxfv, “Qtja jybea atf mbwqjcs? Po sbe kjca ab mbwf yjmx, sbe mjc jcsalwf…”
Chang Bin shook his head, “I’m not coming back. I’m not going to another company either. I just don’t want to work anymore.”
“Brother Bin…” At this moment, Chen Jiayu couldn’t think of anything appropriate to say. Regret? Chang Bin had already made his decision, considering all possibilities carefully. Congratulations? Chang Bin had been more than a colleague. He had been Chen Jiayu’s mentor and flying companion and was extremely skilled and passionate about flying. He held licenses for various aircraft types, including Embraer-175 and Bombardier. Although many commercial pilots flew until they were sixty, Chang Bin had decided to retire early, and his career hadn’t reached the conventional retirement age. Congratulating him felt inappropriate.
After a while, Chen Jiayu guessed, “Is it… still about the Hong Kong incident?” Sure enough, Chang Bin said nothing, but that was a tacit confirmation in itself.
A silence fell upon the table. Taking a sip of his drink, Chang Bin began, “Jiayu, what I’m about to share with you, I haven’t disclosed to anyone else. Actually, I didn’t plan to tell anyone, but since I’ll be retiring soon, I think I should be honest with you. ”
“After Hong Kong, I didn’t fly for almost half a year, as you probably already know. Technically, it was due to a company transition, but in reality, it was because I needed to adjust. Over the past two years, as I began flying again, I’ve realized that I’ve grown more and more resistant to it. I have no problem during normal, routine flights, but whenever there’s even a minor malfunction or issue—no matter how small—I can’t stop myself from imagining the worst possible scenario. I can’t make decisions, and I’m afraid that this time, I won’t be able to bring us back safely to the runway like I did in Hong Kong.”
“Two months ago, I was flying from Hong Kong to Singapore, and there was a slight problem with the landing gear light. I was afraid the front landing gear wouldn’t deploy. At that moment, I was convinced I was going to die. On the day of the emergency landing in Hong Kong, it felt as though fate had granted all my wishes, and I knew there wouldn’t be any more chances. I even started thinking, ‘Thank goodness I left a farewell letter for Dou Dou.’”
Chen Jiayu suppressed his voice and asked, “What happened next?”
“Fortunately, I wasn’t the captain that day. The captain in charge descended to a lower altitude to have the ground crew inspect it, and it turned out to be just a faulty bulb. The landing gear was fine. But since then, I haven’t been able to fly to Hong Kong again. I tried talking to a psychologist, and he suggested taking some time off. So, I extended my annual leave by two weeks. But I couldn’t resolve it. It didn’t help. You know, flying used to be as natural to me as breathing. Now, I’m starting to feel weary of it.”
Chen Jiayu understands, “When you love flying, it feels like it’s something you have control over. You spend half a lifetime learning everything a pilot should know, mastering all the necessary skills. And then you realize, this thing, it’s beyond your control.” His voice trailed off towards the end, barely audible. He understood Chang Bin’s feelings all too well. They had shared the intense panic together, carrying the suffocating weight of 238 lives on their shoulders. Together, they had tried to maintain composure amidst fear, meticulously going through checklists, troubleshooting, and making decisions while time seemed to drag on.
Chang Bin looked at him with a pained expression, “Actually, Jiayu, I had the chance to see you more often these past two years, but at that time, I was grappling with the aftermath of this… Whenever I saw you, it reminded me of what happened. I feel like I’ve let you down.”
Chen Jiayu’s hand started to tremble. He tried to speak but found he couldn’t say any words. Despite their miraculous survival and enduring numerous interviews together, they had never talked about what happened that day. Chen Jiayu had never openly discussed the caution he now exercised during flights or the lingering fear he felt when faced with technical issues. Yet, he knew Chang Bin understood, but he had never mustered the courage to ask him directly how he was coping or if the memories still haunted him. Perhaps it was due to pride or maybe a sense of consolation—Chang Bin had more experience. Chen Jiayu assumed he must have coped better than himself. However, he didn’t realize that Chang Bin was equally tormented, if not more so.
Looking back, he didn’t blame Chang Bin for their distance over the past two years; he just felt remorseful for not reaching out sooner.
In the end, all he could manage to say was, “Don’t say that, Brother Bin. Flying with you on Flight 416 three years ago was perhaps the luckiest thing that happened to me. If you feel you can’t move on, it’s okay not to see me in the future. As long as you find peace, whatever works.”
Quickly, Chang Bin responded, “That was before. I’m better now. With retirement, I’ve adjusted, and I’ll be around you all the time now.”
Chen Jiayu forced a smile.
This meal had stirred up a whirlwind of emotions within them. Although they eventually opened up to each other, Chen Jiayu knew that Chang Bin’s honesty had stirred up a deep-seated anxiety within him. The emergency landing in Hong Kong has left a deep mark and was destined to be a defining moment in his life. Despite thinking, that he had moved on from it many times, the experience continued to resurface and haunt him again and again.
Translator notes: Lets hope this works! Having some technical difficulties with the drafts. XD Might just be my browser. Another chapter will be coming soon too. Enjoy. 🙂
🥺Sending love💕
Thanks for the update.
Poor him :< His passion and dream job become nightmare and curse for him (´•ω•̥`)
Thank You for the new chapter (灬♥ω♥灬)
Thank you for the chapter!
I really admire those who enjoys doing something out of passion. Thank you for the chapter. ☺️