“I like you.”
There was a TV in the staff lounge on the second floor of the Cage Mansion. It was the first time Sixx had seen it so up close since he had been living there. There was also a TV in the ringmaster’s room, but of course, Sixx could never use it. However, sometimes when he went to see the headmaster, it would be on. The scenes illuminated by the cathode-ray tube were different every time, but generally, it was either news or a talk show. In contrast, there was always a romance movie playing on the TV in the staff lounge. The maids especially liked it. On days when there wasn’t much work, Sixx would sometimes sit next to them and chew on the popcorn Madam Isabella had given them, watching the movie together. The people in the movies were overwhelmingly in love, unable to contain their affection, and they were restless to confess their love to their crushes. It was the opposite of Sixx, who was always busy hiding his feelings. When the movie reached its climax, the woman would often call the man to the riverside.
Yeah, it was strange. Everything was different from what he had seen. The movie’s confession wasn’t so miserable. The weather was sunny, and sentimental and beautiful music played. Everything, from people to objects, supported her love, creating a romantic atmosphere. In response to the sincere confession of the girl, the man smiled broadly and kissed her as if he had been waiting only for this moment, sweetly.
“Hahaha… You like me?”
However, the movie was just a movie. Sixx’s confession was not beautiful, but rather grotesque. The other person burst into laughter. It was a cruel laugh that seemed to stab the listener’s heart with coldness.
“If I liked you even half as much as you do me, wouldn’t that be enough? Isn’t that what you’re trying to say?”
“No, I, I mean—”
“Or are you going to say you love me?”
He cruelly snatched even the words away from Sixx. In the mockery and contempt embedded in his tongue, repeating the word “love” rhythmically, Sixx felt wounded. If the wounds of the heart were visible outwardly, a small puddle would have formed under the soles of his feet from the blood flowing from his heart. In response to Sixx’s reaction, Malon laughed even louder, as if he couldn’t believe it.
“Haha, hahaha! I’ve heard a twelve-year-old say ‘I love you’ in my life.”
“I love you, Malon.”
“Oh, sure. Love. Of course, you must love me.”
Malon smirked. He seemed not only indifferent to Sixx’s confession, but rather uncomfortable with it. Even though his mouth seemed to curl up, he didn’t seem to be smiling at all. Sixx felt despair. He knew very well that Malon would never accept his feelings. But he didn’t expect to be ridiculed to this extent. Was it the place that was the problem? Or maybe the situation was bad. He had tried so hard to reassure himself, but in reality, he knew all too well. Sixx himself was the problem. He was criticized for even daring to harbor such feelings for Malon. Yeah, he understood. But still…
“Ah, you, you saw me having sex. You mistook that excitement for seeing a day when I had sex. Your heart must have been pounding, so you thought you loved me. Can it be more pathetic than this?”
“No, that’s not it!”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
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“I did treat you well. I understand why you would mistake it. But groveling like this is a different issue. Let’s say you love me. But just because of such trivial matters, you’re going to reject my offer? Haha, do you want to help me because you love me? Seriously?”
“It’s not a mistake. It’s true. Really—”
“Stop. That’s enough. Frankly, I’m starting to get annoyed.”
“Malon, I love you. Even if it may seem insignificant to you, it’s not to me—”
“I said stop!”
His gaze flashed sharply. He wasn’t even pretending to smile now. He glared at Sixx, his face twisted grimly, furrowing his brow. An aura of menace emanated from him. Sixx flinched. He had momentarily forgotten, but Malon was a very scary person. He had only treated Sixx affectionately. But against enemies, he turned relentlessly cruel. The way he dealt with traitors came to mind. He was the kind of person who could destroy a person’s face to the point where they were unrecognizable and not even bat an eyelash. And what Sixx had seen was only a tiny fraction. In places unknown to him, Malon would be much more ruthless. Being a high-ranking member of Portland’s largest criminal organization meant he could harm even such a child as Sixx without hesitation.
“You’re making me sick with your stupidity. What nonsense. You should at least speak appropriately. What do you know about me? Because I indulge you, do I look like a kindly old man to you? Luca said I’m scary, didn’t he? What if I’ve destroyed the lives of countless people so much so that I’m not even comparable to him? If you don’t please me, what if I turn anyone into a corpse and dispose of them right in front of you?”
He asked with a distorted face, but Sixx couldn’t say anything.
“You’re the same. Your pathetic life could fall into ruin at any moment. Life in the circus might have felt like heaven to you. I don’t even need a reason. If I want to do that, I’ll do it. Even after going through all that, could you still say you love me?”
He stepped closer to Sixx. The large, white hand that Sixx loved so much rose above his head. However, instead of gently tousling Sixx’s hair as usual, the long fingers, just like on the first day they met, dug into the space between them, ready to crush Sixx’s skull at any moment.
“You don’t love me. Got it?”
“…”
“I asked if you understood!”
“That’s not something you can decide. It’s my problem.”
“Haha, I never knew you could sass back like this. Damn, getting stabbed in the back at a crucial moment like this. Pathetic. Maybe you have a talent for betrayal, Sixx.”
“Malon, it’s not like that—”
“Admit it. I’ve been acting unlike myself. Should have done this sooner. I’ll give you one last chance. Say it. Tell me you misunderstood and obediently agree to come to my house and be under me!”
“…I’m sorry. I’m sorry for falling in love with you…”
“Fuck!”
His fingers squeezed Sixx’s skull. Unable to breathe properly due to the pressure on his throat, Sixx couldn’t even muster the slightest resistance. He was weakened to a degree that was incomparable to Luca Pellegrino. Like a condemned prisoner on the gallows, Sixx’s feet dangled in the air.
“Guh… Mal… on…”
He gasped as if he would pass out at any moment. Due to the pain in his head, he couldn’t perform any actions. This time, he would surely die at the hands of Malon. If his head didn’t burst and kill him, he would be shot and killed. But he didn’t want to blame him. It was Sixx’s fault for falling in love with him on his own.
“Damn it!”
Sixx gasped for breath. Although there was a brief pain in his arms and legs, it wasn’t too painful due to the soft grass. Because of the pressure on his head, he couldn’t see well for a moment, and his ears rang.
“Fuck, Fuck!”
He heard the sound of leaves falling as if someone were shaking a tree. Malon was also breathing heavily. It was over. Sixx realized that the period of happiness was coming to an end. It was inevitable. Still, it would have been better if it didn’t end like this. If he had been wiser in handling it, he could have ended it while looking at Malon’s smile… Sixx’s ears heard a song again. He said some things were meant to end like this. Yes, that’s right. Just as the river flows towards the sea, he had no choice but to love Malon, and when he foolishly denied that love, their relationship could only end like this…
***
It was midnight. At such an ambitious hour when only the white moon illuminated the world, Sixx quietly left the room. Just like when he arrived, the only thing he took with him was his body. He walked quietly on the carpet without making a sound. Fortunately, he didn’t encounter anyone. He first went out to the garden. Outside, the moonlight was bright, so it wasn’t too dark. Sixx approached the flower bed he had lovingly tended to at Isabella’s request. A vibrant red dahlia greeted him in the night. He apologized silently and plucked the most beautiful bloom.
He entered back inside, heading deep into the mansion. Would he be asleep by now? Hopefully, he was deeply asleep, dreaming happy dreams. So he could wake up refreshed in the morning. Sixx stopped in front of his bedroom. And carefully placed a dahlia. It was the most gratitude he could express. He knew it was shameful to express gratitude with a flower he plucked from his garden, but Sixx had nothing else. Even if he laughed and threw the dahlia into the trash, it would have been okay. If his gaze touched the flower, even for a moment, then…
Sixx set off on his journey. He knew the way back to the circus. He saw familiar buildings as he drove to and from the venue. The lively downtown where he used to hang out with Andy and Corbin. Going back to the circus from there wasn’t difficult. Of course, he didn’t have any coins to pay for the bus fare, so he would have to walk a lot. But he had plenty of time. It was okay to take a few days. It was fortunate to have a place to return to. Although he was a little worried about going back, he could think about it then.
Sixx walked along the road, then walked some more. The bright light mixed into the pitch-black sky, and eventually, the crimson sun appeared. When he took off his shoes and sat on a rock for a moment, his feet were swollen. He had no choice but to rest there for a few tens of minutes and then walk again. He kept moving his legs, but his brain naturally drew the place he had left. Malon would probably be awake by now.
Would he have found the dahlia? Would he have noticed that I left it behind? If I had known how to write, I would have written a letter expressing my thanks. Come to think of it, I didn’t even say a word of thanks to those who took care of me. Isabella, Cynthia, Patrick… I was sorry. Even though I wouldn’t see them again, I should have expressed my gratitude.
Now Malon wouldn’t come looking for him. He might come to the circus for business, but he wouldn’t call him. He couldn’t tolerate summoning a disobedient kid who rejected his kindness and ran away, even if he paid for it.
How long did he walk? Hungry, he walked, and walked some more. He felt like he might collapse from exhaustion, but he continued to stagger forward. As he walked, he lost track of how many hours had passed, and then, around that time, the red tent of the circus appeared in the distance. He felt like he might burst into tears suddenly. Why was that? He didn’t know. He didn’t miss this place. He had never thought about it once during his stay at Malon’s mansion. But somehow, Sixx found himself running as best he could with painful feet.
He saw people. Most of them were members of Part 1. Passing by those who were gathering and laughing, he ran to what they called the kitchen. If Sixx’s calculations were correct, it was his turn to do the dishes.
He opened the tent door without hesitation. He was there.
“Damn it, who the hell ate all of this?”
“…Corbin?”
Opening the curtain and calling out the name of the boy who was muttering curses while vigorously scrubbing the pot with a scrubbing brush.
“Sixx?”
Recognizing his voice, the boy turned around with an incredulous expression, and Sixx rushed over and hugged him tightly. Tears he had been holding back burst out. After a moment of confusion, the boy warmly embraced Sixx. It was a reunion of two boys living at the very bottom of the barrel.
The last three chapters are unedited _(:3」∠)_also, i will keep it as brother then, thank you for your opinions!
Aww, Sixx 🙁
The last bit made tear up a little TT
thanks for the chapter<3
Ok, after reading this chapter, I can finally see how Sixx is the Top ^^`
Poor wolf cub…
that’s really depressing… thanks for the chapter
Tsk, I was so frustrated the whole time. This is so sad
+1, i wasnt expecting to sob before bed tonight 😭
As much as I am sad about Malone’s reaction, I couldn’t help but expect that from him. I’m proud of how strong Six is. His reunion with Corbin was so sweet! 🥺 It was the perfect way of ending the chapter…..I check all week for these updates. Thank you for translating this novel, it’s my favorite rn!
aww glad you’re liking it 😇 i will try to update more frequently!
Awwwwww poor them 😭
Thank you for the chapter 💓
Thank you so much for the chapter. I can’t wait to see where the story goes. 🩷