In the past, emotions didn’t seem to fluctuate this rapidly, but these days, the emotional roller coaster was particularly intense. If it were before, even if surprised to hear that all the debts were resolved, he might be shocked, but he wouldn’t cry or behave like a fool, causing distress to Kwon Taejung’s heart. Yet, he couldn’t figure out why things had turned out like this.
Whether it was meeting Kwon Taejung’s family or working at the cafe part-time, lately, he became overly serious about trivial matters. It was also strange how tears came too easily, making everything feel abnormal.
“…”
Though it might be surprising and apologetic, expressing emotions in this way was my mistake, hurting Kwon Taejung’s feelings.
The image of Kwon Taejung, who confidently said he resolved my debts with a cheerful face, the concerned expression when I cried, and the face that showed both surprise and disappointment when pheromones caused a problem, repeatedly flashed in my mind.
The strong and threatening pheromones, the way Kwon Taejung physically distanced himself due to fear, continued to torment my thoughts. Yigyeom hunched forward, embracing his knees, burying his face.
Thinking that Kwon Taejung might have scolded someone like me, tears threatened to fall again. Yigyeom tried hard to wipe away the tears that kept coming uncontrollably with his sleeves, determined not to cry.
The overwhelming guilt, worry, and anxiety within Yigyeom’s heart began to fiercely sway his fragile emotions beyond his control.
Facing such strong emotional fluctuations for the first time, Yigyeom, who had never encountered such a situation, silently, anxiously, and fearfully waited for Kwon Taejung.
For what seemed like a very long time, stairs leading to the second floor, where any movement was imperceptible, felt incredibly distant.
* * *
Seated by the window, Kwon Taejung, burying himself deep, slowly exhaled as he felt the pheromones gradually calming down.
During all this time, controlling pheromones had never been a difficult task for Kwon Taejung, so today’s uncontrollable situation was quite bewildering for him.
While it was not uncommon for pheromones to burst out when angry or in a bad mood, or even when emotionally shaken, it was the first time they had exploded so uncontrollably due to a mix of various emotions.
“…”
Thinking about Yigyeom threatened by my pheromones didn’t sit well with him. The act had been done to make everyone more comfortable and happy, but Kwon Taejung couldn’t fathom why it had gone to such extremes.
However, just because he didn’t understand didn’t mean he could continue to torment Yigyeom until he did. He felt a bit disappointed for not being able to see Yigyeom looking happier, and there was a desire to enter Yigyeom’s heart to understand his thoughts, but that was no longer important.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
Since it had already happened and couldn’t be undone, he had to sort things out here and move forward. He had some disappointment about not seeing Yigyeom happy, and he wanted to look into Yigyeom’s mind to see what he was thinking without hurting him. However, now it wasn’t about that anymore.
Damn, why did I say that I feel sad? Kwon Taejung, with a stern expression, closed his eyes, recalling the blank face of Yigyeom who was looking up at him.
“…”
I just wanted to see a smile; why did it turn out like this? What the hell am I doing here?
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Yigyeom, already emotionally unstable due to pheromone interference, wouldn’t benefit from his threatening pheromones mixing with his emotions.
“Ha…”
A deep breath escaped through slightly parted lips. Kwon Taejung gazed outside the window, which was becoming emotionless and dark.
It was most disheartening not to see Yigyeom’s warmth when he was in the same house. And that disheartening feeling lasted for a long time. Darkness seeped into his emotionless pupils, continuing until dawn.
* * *
Yigyeom, upon waking up in the morning, was surprised to find himself in bed and felt relieved seeing Kwon Taejung sleeping next to him.
The last memory was waiting for Kwon Taejung on the stairs, and it seemed that Kwon Taejung had brought him here. For some reason, feeling embarrassed, Yigyeom covered his face with the blanket and peeked at the sleeping Kwon Taejung.
“…”
The turbulent emotions that had raged during the night calmed down, leaving him with a calm and peaceful mind. Yigyeom, trying not to make any noise, observed the sleeping Kwon Taejung distractedly. Just looking at him made his heart ache, feeling sorry for the person whose heart was so full of emotions.
Oh, I’m sorry. If I think I’m sorry, Chief will be upset again… But what should I do when I feel sorry? While contemplating, Yigyeom raised the fallen blanket over the shoulders.
“Um…”
As soon as he covered him with the blanket, a low voice resonated, and Kwon Taejung, who was turning around, was seen. Yigyeom, lying down, could feel his heart pounding within the warm cocoon of the blanket.
“…”
Soon, with the warmth approaching, Kwon Taejung’s hand touched Yigyeom’s cheek and hair before retreating. Yigyeom tightly gripped the blanket at the scent of the dry rose emanating from his fingertips. It was fortunate that the original pheromone scent, which made Yigyeom want to get closer and made his heart flutter, returned.
With a rustling sound, Kwon Taejung seemed to rise, but Yigyeom quickly closed his eyes. He could feel his heart pounding inside the warm cocoon.
“…”
With the sound of Kwon Taejung getting up and putting on a T-shirt, he disappeared towards the direction of the bathroom. Only then did Yigyeom completely open his eyes, silently gazing at the vacant spot beside Kwon Taejung.
Instead of pretending to be asleep, it would have been nice if Kwon Taejung had at least greeted him in the morning. Why did he close his eyes, pretending to sleep, the moment he was about to wake up? It seemed to be due to the awkwardness arising from not properly concluding yesterday’s conversation and the resulting embarrassment.
Yigyeom, who sighed softly, got up, spread the blanket neatly, and tidied up the bed. Leaving the bedroom, Yigyeom entered the bathroom near the living room and stood in front of the mirror.
Despite the fluctuating emotions, today, the complexion looked even paler than usual. Was it because of too much emotional exhaustion yesterday? Or maybe my health is not good at all?
Yigyeom recalled shivering all night due to the weak air conditioning breeze yesterday, and looking at his pale face, he immersed himself in thought. He thought it might be a good idea to take a break today, even though he knew how luxurious it was to rest all day for his sake.
Washing his face lightly with warm water, Yigyeom went to the quiet kitchen, put coffee beans into the coffee machine, and brewed coffee. It was for Kwon Taejung, who drinks coffee every morning.
Then, he took out bread, put it in the oven, and adjusted the temperature. Although he didn’t have much appetite, smelling the savory butter made him feel a bit hungry. Yigyeom took out the crispy bread and placed it on the dining table.
“Why did you wake up so early? I didn’t wake you up to let you sleep more.”
As he placed coffee and heated milk on the table, a voice suddenly echoed from behind. Surprised, Yigyeom turned his head to see Kwon Taejung approaching from behind. Kwon Taejung, who came close without wearing anything on top, placed the T-shirt he was holding on the table.
“Did you get down to give this to me?”
“Yes. You drink coffee every day.”
“Thanks. Is it because you made it for me that it smells better today, even though I drink it every day?”
Wearing the T-shirt and sitting on the table, Kwon Taejung took a sip of coffee. Seeing Yigyeom trying to move to the opposite side, Kwon Taejung pulled the chair next to him and patted it. Yigyeom silently sat there, holding the warm cup of heated milk.
“Did you sit on the stairs and wait for me all the time yesterday?”
“Ah… yes… I was going to go up, but I thought it might be uncomfortable for Chief if I go up… so I was waiting, thinking I might fall asleep.”
“If you knew I was there, you should have come down a little faster.”
“No… it’s not that. It’s because I made a mistake.”
Kwon Taejung, who tapped the crispy croissant lightly with his fingertips, took another sip of coffee and looked at Yigyeom.
“I thought about it yesterday. But no matter how much I think, I don’t really understand why you’re not happy even though I solved your debt, helped you with Goo Daebom, and it was genuinely good. I just wanted to see you relieved, and that’s why I’m making excuses continuously, and you keep apologizing to me. I can’t quite understand the situation.”
“…”
“It’s a bit frustrating and sad. I thought you’d naturally like it when I solved it after spending money. Maybe I’ve become accustomed to only seeing people who like it when I spend money there. So, when I thought that if I solved it for you, you’d be surprised at first but naturally happy, it was a bit surprising that it didn’t happen.”
Listening to the muffled voice, Yigyeom reached down under the table and held hands with Kwon Taejung, whose hand was trembling with anxiety and tension. It was frightening that Kwon Taejung seemed to have lost control of himself.
“So, the pheromone control didn’t work well for a moment. I was quite surprised yesterday. It was the first time for me too, so I was surprised, but I think it was even more for you, Yigyeom.”
“… I’m okay. Chief, are you okay?”
“I’m fine. I just settled down a bit, and I’m okay now.”
About to apologize and say it was because of him, Yigyeom thought of Kwon Taejung repeatedly expressing sorrow, and he swallowed the words of apology without uttering them.
“Since we can’t undo what happened, let’s not consume more emotions with this. You’ll understand why I did that, and I understand why you apologize to me. I think that should be enough.”
“… Yes.”
With Yigyeom’s response, there was a brief awkwardness. Yigyeom, who had sipped the lukewarm milk, tried to dispel the awkwardness by taking a bite of his share of croissant, nibbling on the pointed end.
