Edited by: bafflinghaze
Acting wasn’t for everyone.
In the case of Professor Rickman’s Literature/Alchemy class, it just so happened that there was a difference between struggling… and hopelessness.
Whatever perfection was witnessed on that last rehearsal before the official performance had to have started somewhere.
In this case, we go back to when the class was utterly hopeless.
“—No, Marcellus! You absolute idiot! Why haven’t you memorized your lines, yet? I have given you weeks!”
Professor Rickman was in an ominous mood today.
The ‘official’ rehearsal for the Noble Academy Senior Second Year Spring Production of The Tragedy of Ohmlet had taken off a long while ago and… well, a majority of the students were working hard.
“Enough! Go home and memorize your lines. Where is Benedick and Phelan? Get them ready for the next scene!”
Unfortunately, there were still some areas that needed to be fixed…
(Such as the two main leads.)
Neo wished he could steer clear of his professor, he really did, but he witnessed the man blow up more than once at the students playing supporting roles this whole day, so he was mostly obedient throughout rehearsal.
He worked on a few solo scenes, which, according to Professor Rickman, was satisfactory.
Neo really regretted trying on that quiz on the alchemical elements. If he’d known it was the deciding factor for their roles in the annual school play, he would have taken notes from his former self and bombed the test entirely.
At least then, he would be demoted to the technical department.
Tybalt was the only person in their group who got the same role in his last life.
Finneas never played Sir Gilde. The role used to belong to Fredrick Meyers, who–for some unknown reason–was transferred out of the class a few months back.
Finneas played Lady Rose last time around, though Neo was smart enough not to tell him that.
He was a Dagon. It would be a disgrace for him to perform poorly on an Alchemy test. Also, considering how he used to act, the role was befitting for his previous character setting.
Neo glanced over to the opposite side of the stage and saw the other boy cuss out a student who was trying to convince him to wear a giant tricorn hat that was definitely not historically accurate to the time period of the Tragedy of Ohmlet.
Finneas not being the innocent crying lamb only reinforced the idea of Nazareth being too much of a self-centered douche. Taking into account the fact that Finneas was uncomfortable speaking with him really said a lot about what a shitty friend he used to be.
Neo didn’t fault the other for his betrayal, either. Finneas had every right to feel resentful after all the damage Nazareth caused.
There was a terrorist attack he ordered in his Third Year. Many students were killed, and Professor Rickman died protecting them. He was buried alive in the rubble somewhere when several buildings exploded.
Professor Rickman was related to Finneas through his mother’s side and was his favorite uncle.
Neo looked down at his hands and shook away the remnants of a memory he wished to forget.
As long as he stopped his association with the Iron Lotus and The Syndicate, then the future would not come to be.
Now, where was he regarding the role swapping?
Ah, yes.
So this time around, since Fredrick was no longer in the class, Finneas was the second option for Sir Gilde.
As for Lady Rose…
Honestly, he should have bombed that test.
At least he wasn’t alone in his sufferings.
Royce got a completely different role, too.
Both of them were assigned to the tech department, and Lady Lettuse played the Nurse.
Royce not being at school for a week or two allowed Lady Lettuse to switch out her part for tech, and since he was missing from class, he had no say in the swap.
On the bright side, the Nurse was only a relevant character for the first act before being killed off. The character was also a warrior, which meant Royce got to do an entire action-dance sequence with the whip.
The Nurse shared multiple scenes with the Cousin of Lady Rose, all of which end in brawls. Tybalt played this aforementioned cousin and needed to be drilled in basic-stage combat.
“You saucy boy! How dare you spice the yolks of peace? This town has been absolutely scrambled from the chaos you’ve brought, good sir!” Royce yelled righteously, raising his whip in front of Tybalt like an overly aggressive challenge.
Tybalt leered, tossing his head back while laughing like an arrogant prat, “Dear Nurse, you only know peace by seeing only the whites! All hard-boiled eggs have a crack in their shells, and if you wish for something poached and soft, I advise you to stay by your Lady’s sunnyside.“
Despite the horrible lines, Neo really felt the script.
Tybalt and Royce made it look effortless.
If only he and Finneas could be the same.
The two of them were somewhat decent during solo scenes, but when together?
They were practically screwed.
“How do I say this in a nice way? Your chemistry’s shit.”
Royce once told them.
It wouldn’t surprise Neo if Rickman decided to kill his lead actors once he realized what a horrible mistake he’d made choosing them as his leads.
The class will be performing in front of a massive audience in two and a half weeks’ time.
A massive audience of nobles.
The upper society would either know this production as one of the best they’ve ever seen, or a trash fire piece of garbage that the renowned Erick Rickman directed and produced all by himself.
The scandal it would create was going to be mortifying if the stage burned down–metaphorically, of course, (don’t want to jinx that…).
Neo could already imagine the social suicide of his class if the show went horribly.
“Odum! Where is Odum?! And Finneas! Somebody get those two dunderheads over here right this instance! We’re going over the balcony scene!”
A blonde wig was shoved onto Neo’s head like a bird’s nest. He felt two apples being shoved down his shirt and a white bedsheet being tied around his waist.
“Your nightgown,” Lady Lettuse said without prompting.
Wait.
“What are you-“
“Go!”
She pushed him out onto the stage, rushing out after him with a bundle of rope…
“Here’s the cable, professor.”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
Neo would like to state that the rope was not, in fact, a cable.
And he had no safety harness on, anyway.
Why did they need a rope?!
“Excellent, Miss Lettuse. Tie that around Odum. He’s going to fling himself off the balcony today.”
Oh, I see.
No one deigned to acknowledge the deadpan expression on Neo’s face as they rushed around the stage getting everything ready.
“Someone get something to support Odum’s chest! The apples are starting to fall out!”
“Do I have to wear the apples?”
Everyone ignored him.
The famous balcony scene in the Tragedy of Ohmlet.
Most people in the Rhine Empire knew this scene well.
It went a little something like this:
Lady Rose is monologuing about how much she loves Gilde oh so much and can’t live without him. Gilde sneaks into her backyard in a shady manner that’s supposed to be romantic. He spies on her for a while as she’s talking.
Then, after–like, five minutes of just Rose talking and talking about love and the beauty of Gilde–Gilde jumps out of the bushes like a complete psychopath and shouts out his feeling for Rose, which inevitably startles the poor, fragile lady so, so much, that she, unfortunately, coughs out blood in her startlement and proceeds to trip.
She flails so badly that she somehow goes as far as to trip over the air–and accidentally flings herself off the bloody balcony rails.
And then Gilde catches her oh so swiftly and they kiss.
Scene ends.
Yeah…
Lady Lettuse tied the rope around his waist and made a gesture toward someone on the balcony to tie the other end up there.
So they were really going to do this…
Like, legit…
Deadass.
(The last voice in his head sounded suspiciously like Royce.)
Neo made eye contact with Professor Rickman one last time, trying to channel Vespera’s gaze.
It was like a battle between a dragon and a tiger. Tense. Dramatic. Badass–
Neo looked away.
“Come on, Odum! We don’t have all day!”
He was not going to do this.
“Someone get the ladder!”
“Yes, Professor!”
There was no way he was getting on that balcony.
—
He climbed onto the fucking balcony.
“Edinburgh, adjust Odum’s wig. It’s about to fall off.”
The wig was adjusted.
“Odum! You look miserable. Fix your face!”
The face was fixed with the help of a stagehand.
“Where is Finneas? Is he in position?”
The fake bushes on the stage rustled, “Yes, Professor.”
Rickman huffed.
“Well, get on with it, then. You may begin!”
The light pearls dimmed on the stage, the biggest one shining their rays on one spot alone.
The balcony.
Neo blinked soullessly.
Fuck my life.
—
Fuck this shit.
Finneas smiled his most innocent smile full of “young love” and entered the scene like a creepy stalker.
Watching Odum’s monologue was painful enough–seeing as Odum appeared as if he wanted to crawl into a hole and die.
There was nothing romantic about his portrayal of Lady Rose.
His wig was slowly slipping off with every “swoon” he made and the apples in his shirt already fell out and were now rolling off the balcony!
“–buttered yellow omelet…”
Odum’s voice turned tortuously monotone.
After weeks of practice, Finneas noticed he did this out of habit when people were looking.
The only thing saving his performance was all the swooning he’d been doing to mask the lack of emotions in his acting.
“—topped with a generous amount of parsley.”
That was his cue.
Jumping out of the “bushes” like a maniac, Finneas played the part of Gilde and declared his, er, undying love for Lady Rose.
Odum inexpressibly swooned again, letting out a half-assed cough into his hand–which was covered in red lipstick–and wiped the “blood” onto the corner of his lips.
If Finneas didn’t have the restraint he honed since meeting Odum, he would have been scared shitless.
Whoever thought that women coughing blood back then was considered attractive certainly never met Odum’s acting.
The red lipstick was rubbed all over his chin and mouth and made him look like a vengeful demon out for blood.
The dimmed stage and the bright spotlight did nothing to make him appear any less terrifying than he did now.
Finneas had front-row seats as he saw Odum feign a startled shock, dramatically walking the rest of the five feet distance to the edge of the balcony–coughing as he did so–and proceeded to tip back and fling himself off the rails like a helpless maiden.
The rope tightened around his waist.
What happened after could only be called a dramatic slo-mo fall, with music and lights in the background.
Finneas tried his hardest not to roll his eyes as he slowly ran toward Odum in a dramatic fashion and wrapped his arms around him, performing the famous bridal catch in the play.
“Oh! Gilde! You saved me!”
Finneas almost dropped him when he saw the fake blood/lipstick all over Odum’s face.
Odum narrowed his eyes in warning when he felt the lowkey jolt of nearly being released like a sack of oats. He quickly smiled to mask his irritation.
No, no. Please do not fucking do that. You look like you’re going to kill someone.
They knocked their heads together to re-enact a passionate kissing scene before the lights went out.
A round of applause echoed through the theatre.
“Excellent, the both of you. It was beautiful.”
Beautiful my ass!
“Do it again. Odum, I want more expression in your delivery. Finneas, you have to run slower than that. Don’t be so timid, you nitwit. Odum isn’t going to kill you.”
Fuck you, Uncle.
Finneas put Odum down and shuffled behind the bushes.
Odum was pulled back onto the balcony.
Neither looked very happy to do it again, but when the lights dimmed, the ‘smiles’ went back on and he internally cursed.
It could be worse, Finneas thought to himself, glancing at the blonde wig holding onto the balcony for dear life
You could be playing Lady Rose.
—
Royce and Tybalt were watching from the side of the stage as Finneas and Neo did their fifth retake.
Royce could see Neo’s patience waning as Professor Rickman instructed him to swoon a little more.
How much does he have to swoon in this production?
He cringed.
“You would think the two of them would be more comfortable by now,” Tybalt said, arms folded as he observed the scene with a too-amused smile on his face. If food was allowed in the theatre, he would have brought sunflower seeds to snack on.
You know, because he could be quite the bastard.
No pun intended.
Royce refrained from saying anything in reply.
Neo swooned for what seemed to be the hundredth time today.
It was like Rickman wanted him to keep swooning in hopes no one would notice his atrocious acting.
Godspeed, Doctor Overland.
“Royce!”
The man turned at the call of his name to see Federick Meyers standing behind him with two large clothing bags in his arms.
“We got your costumes. Do you want to try them on? The fake blood finally dried on this one,” He indicated to the white clothing bag which was labeled with bold letters:
Dead Nurse–Royce
Ah, yes. Because his character dies before the second act.
At the beginning of the show, she gets stabbed a whole bunch by some of Gilde’s comrades and is left for dead.
One would think she’d died from that, but for some reason, she was able to hide her injuries and go back to serving Lady Rose for the rest of the act–somehow having the ability to perform three separate monologues, fight an entire gang, poison Gilde’s adopted brother, and stab Lady Rose’ Cousin once, before succumbing to her injuries.
How was that woman still alive?!
She inevitably dies from her injuries in the end, monologuing the whole way through.
“Tell me if the material is too stiff on this one. We used too much glue for the fake bloodstains,” Frederick mentioned blithely as he zipped up the costume.
They were now in the dressing room.
“… Okay.”
The dress was tighter than they expected so Royce stripped down to his underwear in order to fit into it.
He flexed his arm slightly. The material felt like it’d been dipped in water.
“Are you sure the glue dried?”
Frederick shrugged, patting the “bloodstains” slightly, “Feels fine to me. Maybe you just need to break into it.”
“I see.”
In the back of his mind, Royce wondered with some confusion.
Didn’t Fredrick transfer out of class two months ago? Why was he working on costumes?
—
Tybalt tried his very best not to laugh as Royce came out of the dressing room in a dress, which was really a blue bedsheet stained in red ink.
“Can you spin?”
Royce did as he was asked.
“Okay. Now try and punch something.”
The red-haired man pretended he was socking Tybalt in his smug face.
“Do a kick.”
He raised his leg and barely managed to perform a roundhouse. The costume was starting to feel very uncomfortable.
Frederick eyed him and shrugged.
“Looks like everything’s good.”
Both Tybalt and Royce turned to each other.
Was this guy blind?
“What about the appearance?” Tybalt tried to reason. “Roy looks like a homeless tramp–no offense.”
“None taken.”
Frederick shrugged, “I’m sure once we put on the wig and makeup, he’ll look better.”
The boy gestured to the row of wigs that haven’t been used since the last production of the Tragedy of Ohmlet…
They were hideous, ill-maintained, and akin to rats’ nests. One couldn’t even tell apart the short-haired ones from the long-haired ones. That was how bad they were.
The door slammed open while Royce was silently mulling over the future state of his hair and the disaster which would befall it once he donned one of those wigs.
Lady Lettuse burst into the changing room enthusiastically.
“Frederick! Get rid of the costumes and wigs. Someone just donated a few thousand gold pieces to the production. We’re rich! This show has money, now!” She cackled.
Tybalt exchanged a glance with Royce.
He regarded Lady Lettuse, as if to say: Who do you think this mysterious benefactor is?
Royce shrugged and turned to the stage, indicating his thoughts to be: Who else? I bet Neo doesn’t even know.
In response to that, the lavender-eyed boy chuckled.
“Ah, to be an Odum.”
“Indeed.”
They smirked.
A few minutes went by as Lady Lettuse detailed where the money would be going and what would be replaced for the show.
Just as they were wrapping up, Royce was beginning to feel the itchy discomfort that came with wearing his costume. Thank God Duke Odum donated money. He would have had to wear this piece of shit for the show.
“Frederick, can I take this off?”
“Ah, yes. Just pull the zipper down and you should easily slip out of it.”
Royce went back behind the changing curtains and did as he was told.
A few seconds later, he popped his head out.
“… Frederick, I can’t take it off.”
“Huh?”
Royce raised a hand and showed some bits of the sticky “bloodstain” that came off the dress.
“The glue didn’t dry…”
The other boy stared in confusion, “But the instruction said drying time takes twenty-four minutes.”
What an oddly specific number.
“What?” Lady Lettuse suddenly asked, appearing just as confused as the rest of them. “Are you talking about the glue we used for the bloodstains?”
Frederick nodded slowly, “Yes…?”
Lady Lettuse’s eyes widened in shock, “The glue takes twenty-four hours to dry! Frederick, I told you to read the instructions carefully!” She hissed.
“Oh…”
Silence permeated the room, turning the atmosphere awkward.
The sound of shifting fabric soon filled its place.
Tybalt watched in horror as Royce struggled a little more with his costume.
A moment later–
“Guys, I think I’m stuck…”
—
Crash!
Both Neo and Finneas paused at what they were doing.
“Professor! Royce is glued to his costume!”
“What?! How did that idiot somehow manage to achieve such a stupid feat?!”
“Professor, we need your help! It’s stuck to his whole body!”
Rickman rose from his seat and stormed backstage.
Neo saw his back disappear behind the curtains.
“Who’s in charge of the costume?!”
“Royce, I need you to relax,” The sound of Lady Lettuse’s voice echoed. It was clear she was trying to stay calm and failing horribly, “This won’t… hurt… a lot!”
A sound similar to waxing echoed loudly, followed by a scream.
Neo and Finneas both looked at one another with confusion.
“It sounds like they ripped it off…” Neo said with a wooden expression.
“Because they fucking did!”
Both boys rushed backstage.
A crowd of people stood around a bench.
“Benedick! Are you alive!”
“… No… I think I’m ready to go home now,” Royce said weakly. He was lying on a workbench without his dignity.
Neo noticed Tybalt standing not far away from the crowd.
They locked eyes.
The other boy only gave a nervous smile, gazed pointedly at the bench, and shook his head.
Neo took off the white sheet around his waist and covered Royce, sparring the other man from further humiliation.
Professor Rickman ended rehearsal after that.
He also took out what looked to be a bottle of alcohol and claimed he was going to go grade papers.
Oh, poor Professor.
They’ll get it right next time.
Thanks for the chapter!! Shouldn’t the glue not stick to his skin if it takes so long to dry? oh well, it’s funny so whatever
It makes voodoo mumbo jumbo reaction with the skin. 😂
This tragedy is going to be a tragedy…
Oh god I can’t this chapter was hilarious
Ahahahahahaha this was a fun chapter thank you!
Hahaha they’re so funny! And now I’ve caught up qwq
Thanks for all your hard work <3
Welp misery is contagious in this one folks. But I agree who the hell thought women coughing up blood was romantic 🫠
Wooo I haven’t read for so long and I’m so happy with changes that happened! Thanks for the updates!
I didn’t expect Rainer to be end game but I’m not complaining 😋😋 Also, wow to Neo being more honest about the rebirth, to Rainer and Lione too dang. Wonder what the next season will be like?