Zhang Jing stopped turning his head around. Solitude: that was a terrifying feeling. He just couldn’t understand how he ended up in his current state. He didn’t even want to deduce from which point Ji Dongxun began being imaginary. Could it be that last night was hallucinated too?
The metallic, bitter taste of blood lingered on his tongue—he knew that time was ticking. With his back against the ice-cold aisle, Zhang Jing gradually collapsed onto his knees and then onto the floor. He hugged himself into a ball, not wanting to face reality. Along with his blood, his soul was stripped away from his body.
—”Jing? Are you not feeling well?”
Huh? Am I still hallucinating?
He lifted his head as soon as he heard a voice resembling Ji Dongxun’s. Ji Dongxun’s figure overshadowed him, his figure blocking the overhead lighting. He squinted as hard as he could, but he still couldn’t see Ji Dongxun’s facial features clearly. However, the shopping cart held the same items as before. Ji Dongxun was even holding a medium-sized, beige-colored clay pot with a wheat pattern encircling the base.
Ji Dongxun quickly figured out that something was off. He pushed the cart away from Zhang Jing and squatted down. He asked anxiously, searching for eye contact, “What’s wrong, Jing? Are you not feeling well? Please let me know.”
Zhang Jing’s eyes looked upward, but he refused to move his mouth or head.
Ji Dongxun reached for his hand and was startled by its freezing composition. He continued nudging with an increasingly worried tone, “Please say something, baby.”
Zhang Jing felt his nose sour up. He muttered, “Ji Dongxun…… Where did you go?”
“I didn’t go anywhere!” Ji Dongxun held his hand firmly as if he wanted to physically demonstrate his loyalty. “I just asked that lady to chop the pork ribs into pieces, but when I turned around, you were gone. Why did you walk away so fast?”
Zhang Jing shook his head helplessly—his tears continued dripping. Still, he provided no response, so Ji Dongxun decided to change his strategy. Ji Dongxun softened his voice and pleaded, “Let’s head home first? How are you feeling? Can you stand on your own?”
Zhang Jing didn’t know how to verify the legitimacy of the person in front of him. He laughed bitterly, scorning his delusions. Then, he remembered: he turned on his phone and checked his messages.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
The message from Ji Dongxun this afternoon was real. Phew.
Itjcu Alcu rabbv eq klat jc bynlber rfcrf bo gfilfo. Al Gbcuzec ralii kjr kbgglfv, yea tf kjr uijv ab rff atf ugjveji lwqgbnfwfca lc Itjcu Alcu’r wbbv. Coafg kjixlcu ab atf gfulrafg jcv mtfmxlcu bea, cbcf bo atfw fzmtjcufv jcbatfg kbgv jujlc.
Efaegclcu yjmx tbwf, Itjcu Alcu tfjvfv ragjluta ab atf rtbkfg, wlcv fwqas. Qtlif Al Gbcuzec bgujclhfv atf yjur bo ugbmfglfr lc atf xlamtfc, Itjcu Alcu ecvgfrrfv jcv rabbv vlgfmais ecvfg atf rtbkfg klat tlr tfjv gjlrfv ja j 45 vfugff jcuif. Ktf kjafg aglmxifv vbkc tlr ojmf, atfc ab tlr ybvs. Snfgs alwf tf kjr lc j yjv wbbv, tf kbeiv vb rbwfatlcu rlwlijg. Pa’r jiwbra jr lo atf rafjwlcu kjafg mbeiv qeglos tlr rbei jcv ecmieaafg tlr tfjga.
They both remained silent the entire night. However, when they both lay down on the bed, Ji Dongxun scooted over to cuddle him. Surprisingly, Zhang Jing frowned and dodged the physical contact. Ji Dongxun was taken aback, but he immediately scooped Zhang Jing back into his embrace.
He kissed Zhang Jing’s forehead and asked, “Baby, what’s wrong?”
Zhang Jing turned around, his lips twitching. After much hesitation, he asked, “Ji Dongxun, are you really still you?”
With a confident and definitive nod, he answered, “I’ll always be me.” I’ll always love you and support you.
Ji Dongxun heard a wry chuckle, then felt two cold hands on his back.
“But I’m no longer me.”
“Huh?” Ji Dongxun patted Zhang Jing’s head and rolled his thumbs along Zhang Jing’s eyes. “What happened?”
“Sigh. Ji Dongxun, so much has happened… We really can’t return to our previous state; a relationship like that won’t work out anymore. That, I promise, is not a lie.” After finishing the sentence, Zhang Jing solemnly rolled to the edge of the bed. Ji Dongxun understood the implication—if Zhang Jing chose to stay silent, no one could change his mind.
That night, Zhang Jing had another dream.
He dreamed of them long into the future, jaded by age. They’ve been deeply in love for numerous decades, yet Ji Dongxun appeared dazzling as always. Suddenly, he woke up from his dream and realized that the other half of the bed was cold. His closet was void of Ji Dongxun’s clothes. His photo albums contained no trace of Ji Dongxun. His phone didn’t even save a contact called Ji Dongxun. He probed his entire house in search of Ji Dongxun, but all his efforts were in vain. According to others, he had always been single—were all those years of romance and company merely a preposterous dream?
Zhang Jing jumped from his bed, his entire body sweating despite the cold. Hearing Ji Dongxun’s even breathing, his heartbeat slowly simmered down. He pecked the fast asleep Ji Dongxun’s lips, but one of his tears dropped onto Ji Dongxun’s cheek. He quickly lay down again, pretending nothing happened.
Due to his nightmare, Zhang Jing woke up with a dull complexion. Ji Dongxun gently stroked his bed head and said, “You should sleep some more. You look like you’re barely awake. Oh, what do you want for breakfast?”
He blurted out, “As long as it’s not soup noodles, anything would suffice.”
The weight hanging onto Ji Dongxun’s mind finally dissipated as Zhang Jing talked after an entire night of silence. With a brighter tone, Ji Dongxun said, “Then go back to sleep. I’ll heat up the food again when you wake up.”
“Mhm…” As he talked, Zhang Jing fell asleep so fast that he thought he might’ve passed out.
Unfortunately, he wasn’t able to wake up as he pleased that morning. He was driven awake by his vibrating phone. Without looking at the caller, he cleared his throat and picked up.
“Hello?”
“Hi! Jing! You’re still sleeping?”
Zhang Jing recognized the voice: the buzz cut. “Why are you awake this early? It’s literally a weekend.”
“Damn, what? Early?” He always talked with a bubbly voice. “It’s ten in the morning! Brother!”
“Really? I didn’t even notice… What’s up?” Zhang Jing asked.
“Wanna hang out?”
Zhang Jing closed his eyes due to his lethargy. “There’s a race?”
“No, just me. I’m bored. Wanna grab a drink?”
Zhang Jing thought about the offer for a quick second. “Sure. Call me in the afternoon.”
“Okay! I’ll wait for you!”
“Mhm.”
After he hung up, Zhang Jing sat up to drink his first cup of water. At the same time, Ji Dongxun coincidentally walked in, topless. Zhang Jing’s teeth marks were still obvious on his body; those bruises faded from a purple to a pallid shade of yellow.
“You’re awake?” Ji Dongxun squeezed the baby fat on Zhang Jing’s cheeks.
Zhang Jing gaped at his perfect figure in awe. He couldn’t bring himself to move his eyes away. Then, the dream from last night emerged into his mind and sent a shiver up his spine.
He resisted the urge to bear hug him and didn’t respond. To be honest, he agreed to the buzz cut’s invitation just to avoid Ji Dongxun—he couldn’t even drink due to his health conditions! Zhang Jing wanted to limit the amount of time they spend together, just in case he hallucinates again within Ji Dongxun’s presence. However, Ji Dongxun hugged him from the back, once again. And, because Ji Dongxun was taller, he could easily whisper into Zhang Jing’s ears by lowering his head.
He confined Zhang Jing within his arms and kissed his earlobes. “Jing, who else is your baby? I’m the only one, right?”
What is real? 👁💧👄💧👁
T-T
I don’t even know what’s real anymore. It was an illusion at the supermarket but then they came back and he said he didn’t want to have another illusion in front of a real one? This is supposed to be a light read not some kind of equation to challenge my braincells. 🙂
The supermarket scene was real! Ji Dongxun was there, but some parts were imagined by Zhang Jing. Hope that clarifies!
Ooooh gotcha.
Now every time ji dongxun appears, I’ll be wondering whether he’s real or not along with zhang jing @_@ just get back together, get married and have some fur babies at home ffs grrr