Chen Xingze stands next to the window with an erhu in his left hand and a guitar in his right, spacing out.
Some metres away, a boy and a girl are engaged in fervent battle.
It’s a few days past the Lantern Festival and the first day of the music camp Chen Xingze’s mother signed him up for. He’d set off for the wilderness in a bus with a bunch of other kids, arriving in a land of ice and snow, isolated from the world.
There’s an orchestral class every day of the camp; Chen Xingze has been assigned to a team with a guitar boy and a folk instrument girl. They’re supposed to perform a song of their choice at the end of camp as a group, and the folk instrument girl and guitar boy are having a heated argument over this very topic.
Folk girl wants to select a soothing song, guitar boy wants to perform a passionate flamenco. Their argument erupts like a volcano.
At the end of the day, they’re fighting over who gets to be the lead performer. Folk instruments are more suited to play the main melody in soothing songs, while the guitar is naturally meant to lead a flamenco. The main sponsor for the winter camp is a famous music institute; a number of prestigious professors will be attending their final performance, which is why it’s an opportunity they’re all fighting for.
“You pick! What song should we go for?” The girl, having reached absolutely nowhere with the guitar boy, suddenly turns to Chen Xingze for support.
Startled by the sudden attention, he raises the instruments in his arms up in surrender. “I don’t mind, you two choose. I’ll do my best to accompany you.”
Folk girl and guitar boy, apparently satisfied with his attitude, whirl back on each other and ready themselves for round two. It doesn’t seem like they’re going to reach a conclusion anytime soon, so Chen Xingze sets the instruments against the wall and takes his leave.
The holiday resort they’re staying at is so empty during this off-season that it’s been practically taken over by the winter camp. The sound of musical instruments drift from every corner of the place.
About twenty minutes later, Chen Xingze makes his way back to the practice room. The boy and girl are still arguing. He goes over and says, “If you still can’t decide, why don’t you just do rock, paper, scissors?”
“What the hell, that’s so unprofessional!” says the girl.
“Exactly!” says the boy.
Chen Xingze sighs, then glimpses the piano through his peripheral vision. Suddenly, an idea strikes him. He sits on the piano bench and says, “How about this, let’s do it the professional way. How are both of your ears?”
Folk girl: “I’m at level 5 in music theory!”
Guitar boy: “I’m at level 6!”
Folk girl: “You should be held back!”
“Alright, alright, stop fighting.” Chen Xingze cajoles them like they’re children. “Let’s listen to chords, whoever makes the first mistake has to give way to the other person, okay?”
The girl and boy exchange a glance.
“Alright then.”
In the end, after a long time, guitar boy makes a mistake and loses.
Folk girl ecstatically picks out Street Where Wind Resides; the erhu plays the main melody, the piano accompanies, and the guitar plays support.
Guitar boy tilts his head towards the sky and lets out a long sigh.
After some discussion, they decide to improvise on the song a little and make it more complex because the main melody is so simple. Chen Xingze, afraid that the other two will break out in fighting again, approaches each meeting with trepidation.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
Thankfully, even though they snap at each other here and there, things progress smoothly. A little too smoothly—three days later when Chen Xingze comes to the practice room, he’s astonished to see folk girl tapping against guitar boy’s wrist gently, the two of them wrapped in an amorous cloud.
Chen Xingze is rendered speechless.
This is the world of the arts: wild, free, unrestrained.
After folk girl gets together with guitar boy, every day is a day filled with public displays of affection. The lead conductor of the camp is a foreigner and as such, is openminded when it comes to these things. At meal times, he purposely teases them until they erupt in beaming smiles.
Chen Xingze observes them from the distance, envious and jealous and even a bit resentful. He wants a boyfriend too, he wants to date too… but even if he did, would he be able to walk out in public like folk girl and guitar boy?
Feeling slightly depressed, he leaves the dinner.
Back in the silence of his room, he sprawls on top of the giant, soft mattress. As complicated emotions swirl within his heart, he digs out his phone and sends Mi Sheng a text—
__
Mi Sheng is staggering his way down a dark alleyway. Bone-chilling cold wind bites at his skin, he yanks the collar of his coat up, trying to protect his face.
It’s pitch black out. The filming crew should’ve wrapped for the day, but Mi Sheng was called out anyway to run an errand, all because an assistant of his said something he shouldn’t have.
Earlier that afternoon, the naive, stupid new assistant Wang Ru from his studio had been working with other crew members when he decided to blurt out stupidly that the lead actor wasn’t as good-looking as his boss. Naturally, some helpful bystander decided to spread this news. And so said lead actor decided to accidentally leave his costume out in the field where they’d filmed that day and specifically requested Mi Sheng to go retrieve it.
“…Ugly people just make trouble.” He curses as he tramples his way tediously through the snow, swearing all the way. It takes him half an hour to get to the filming area, and even though he rushes back, everyone has already packed and gone. All he can do is find a local motel to spend the night.
The place is a dingy hole with a broken heater and wind sneaking in through cracks in the walls. Mi Sheng doesn’t even bother washing his face despite being a clean freak and lies on the bed wrapped in his winter coat, praying for morning to come faster.
It’s then that the text from Chen Xingze comes.
Mi Sheng retrieves his phone from the depths of his finally-warm coat.
—Are you busy?
—Rb, vlv sbe cffv rbwfatlcu?
—Not much, I just felt like talking to someone.
Mi Sheng is freezing; he can’t sleep anyway. It can’t hurt to have a chat to distract himself. He switches position, bringing his phone back inside his coat.
—About what?
—If you don’t mind my asking… do you have a boyfriend?
Mi Sheng raises one elegant eyebrow. Boyfriend? Well, plenty of boy lovers, that’s for sure… is what he intends to write, but after he taps the message out, that photo of Chen Xingze suddenly materialises in his mind’s eye.
Peach blossoms and a young boy.
Chen Xingze had, over the course of the last two to three months, divulged his entire life’s worth of experience in love to Mi Sheng. In contrast, Mi Sheng, being the experienced sleaze that he is, hasn’t revealed a thing about himself.
To him, Chen Xingze is a cluless kid. There were so many times he wanted to destroy the kid’s aspiration for true love—like now. But in the end he always softens and he retreats.
—Yeah, I do.
—Efjiis? Qtja xlcv bo qfgrbc lr tf?
—C nfgs ugfja qfgrbc.
—Can you be more specific?
Mi Sheng recalls the future lover he’d fantasised about when he was Chen Xingze’s age.
—Very handsome, very warm, rich, with good taste, and he buys me a gift every Christmas.
The message gives him goosebumps and he snorts and laughs out loud. To think he had had such a dream once.
—Your boyfriend sounds so perfect, how long have you been together?
—Many years.
This time Chen Xingze doesn’t respond for awhile. Mi Sheng prepares to sleep, thinking the boy is done chatting, but suddenly the phone vibrates again.
—Do you think people like us can attain happiness one day?
Mi Sheng can’t help the dry laugh the escapes him. “Little brats are little brats, always happiness this and happiness that.” As he’s typing out his response, another text comes in.
Mi Jie is asking for money. Apparently their father needs surgery, leaving his younger sister with no choice but to contact the brother she’d rather pretend didn’t exist.
“Money, money, money…” Mi Sheng huffs in amusement. As he taps out his answer to Chen Xingze, he says out loud, “Kid, this is what life is. You should grow up.”
Chen Xingze lies in bed, nervously waiting for a reply.
The feast has ended and out in the courtyard, there’s an ongoing bonfire party. He can hear someone singing to the tune of a guitar. Even if the singer isn’t able to reach their highest potential amidst the cold and the snow, the happiness in their voice is infectious.
The phone rings.
He looks up. Mi Sheng has only responded two words— “Of course.”
Outside, the singing has reached a climax, the words ringing loud and clear.
When it’s love,
Tfjt, sbe rjs atfw bea ibev atbrf kbgvr
Ktfs cfnfg ub jkjs
They live on, even when we’re gone. ¹
Chen Xingze’s eyes burn and clutches his phone so tightly in his hand that it shakes. He buries his face into his pillow, taking a deep breath, letting the intoxicating Taoyuan wine-like scent of laundry detergent envelope him.
Suddenly, there’s a knock on the door. Chen Xingze starts up in bed. “Who is it?”
No one replies. Thinking it to be a teacher calling for him to join the group activities, he quickly wipes his eyes clean and gets up to open the door.
There is Lu Hao, standing before them with a giant sports bag over his shoulder.
Stunned, Chen Xingze doesn’t react for several beats. Lu Hao moves first, reaching out to swipe at Chen Xingze with a finger.
“How about it?”
Chen Xingze blinks in astonishment. “What are you doing here?”
“Why can’t I come, does the resort belong to you or something?” Chen Xingze is still too stupefied to react, so Lu Hao shoves him on the shoulder. “Have you gone stupid?”
At last, a smile breaks out across Chen Xingze’s face. He waves a hand towards the bonfire. “I thought you were filming a movie, coming in with background music and all.”
Lu Hao bursts out laughing.
Chen Xingze invites him in; he notices that Lu Hao is wearing the new basketball shoes he gave him. After he shuts the door, Lu Hao is already sprawled across his bed. He goes over and kicks him. “Take your coat off.”
“Freaking germophobe,” Lu Hao mutters, taking off his thick coat, revealing a black hoodie. The material clings tightly to his body from having been smashed by the coat, outlining his body gloriously.
Chen Xingze watches this strip show with full enjoyment.
Ah…
Stop. Don’t.
He leans against his desk, facing Lu Hao.
“But really, what are you doing here?”
“P rjlv, P’w bc tbilvjs.”
“Tbeg ojwlis lr tfgf klat sbe?”
“Rbqf, ws wew vgbqqfv wf boo jcv ifoa.”
“She didn’t ask why you wanted to come here?”
From where he’s sitting on the bed, Lu Hao has to look up at him. “What, you don’t want me to come?”
“…I didn’t say that, did you get a room already?”
The topic of the room seems to bring something to Lu Hao’s attention. All of a sudden, he says, “You people have taken over the entire building, I’d have to go to the building across. It’s too far…” he shoots a glance at Chen Xingze. “Let me stay here.”
Chen Xingze smirks. “Sure, if you’re not afraid of losing your virginity.”
“Tch, I ain’t scared of you.”
I feel so bad for Chen Xingze. Teenage years are confusing enough without having to deal with being gay, coming out, and having no one to talk to.
I am glad Mi Sheng isn’t being a total jerk and ruining his outlook on life.
Also, guess Lu Hao developed a crush on Chen Xingze… life is hard for all of them.
thanks for the chapter <3
I feel that Lu Hao will end up with a broken heart, I don’t want him to be hurt though. Why is Love so sad, I have never even had a serious crush so I can’t relate but it’s beautiful and sad to read.
😣 everything is kinda sad, yet I don’t want to lose hope yet.
Thanks for the chapter!
Thanks for the chapter! ❤