Living Selfishly While Working Towards A Peaceful LifeCh14 - Bonus Chapter 1

Knox heard footsteps approaching him. He frowned. His bodyguards were supposed to keep anyone from approaching him.

Looking up, he saw his head of security point at his phone. C5qf4k

Looking down, he flipped up his cellphone. There was a text message that read ‘Teenage boy. Approaching.’

Flippin his phone closed, he scowled at the man sitting on the other side of the pond. His people were around the whole park dressed as hospital staff or patients. Visitors were being directed to a different rest area within the hospital.

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How had this boy found his way here?

Had his brother sunk so low as to send children after him? ryXwMD

He nodded his head. The people around him relaxed. They would allow the boy to approach. It would be best to know what his motives were.

His body tensed as he heard a milky voice.

“Can I sit here?” The boy asked.

What was this? The boy would be in even more danger if he dragged out their meeting. Wasn’t he going to attack him?

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Keeping his tone neutral. “Feel free.” He had a naturally scary aura. It was not something he could control. It came from doing business and having to survive dangerous situations.

The people who could stand to be in his presence weren’t normal.

There was no noise beside him for a moment. He began to rethink his original assumption. This person was unlikely to have been sent after him. Had this boy just wandered here by accident?

“Aren’t you going to sit?” His voice came out more compelling than he intended. Ldgj3c

The boy standing at his back was making him uncomfortable. He didn’t allow people to stand behind him. It was dangerous to leave your back unguarded.

Knox heard the soft fall of footsteps on the grass. He turned to the side in time to see the boy sit beside him.

His side profile was beguiling. His face had yet to lose its baby fat. His features were halfway between boy and man.

Messy black hair fell against white skin. He could see long eyelashes and a straight nose that was slightly upturned. He could feel the confidence and pride radiating off this boy. It didn’t suit his age. a79Hcz

Pink lips parted for a moment before closing. Knox wanted to hear him speak again. He wanted to see what this boy looked like.

This person wasn’t ordinary. The longer Knox was near him, the more he realized it.

His head of security made a move to stand and approached. He shot him a glare and motioned for him to sit down.

This boy managed to sit beside him and remain relaxed. Knox found it interesting. While adults weren’t affected by him, other than to be wary, younger people tended to avoid him. 8rfQ4J

This boy would become a competitor. He could feel it. This person couldn’t be anything but successful at anything he did.

Knox took another look at him. It would be better if he was an ally. In ten years, this child would be a dangerous opponent.

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

There was already something about him that warned others not to approach carelessly. His innocent face paired with that dangerous feel made him charismatic.

This boy should have run. The minute he sat down, he already attracted Knox’s attention. How could he see such an interesting puzzle and not get to the bottom of it? zndL3o

This boy was definitely not sent by any of his brothers. They wouldn’t have been able to control him. He would have followed their orders for a while before slowly devouring them.

“The view of the pond is better,” he found himself saying. His voice was hoarse. Was he nervous? What an inane thing to say. Couldn’t he have come up with anything better?

There was a pause before a soft voice replied. “ I am watching people .”

Was he lying? Knox started as he realized that he couldn’t tell. When was the last time someone was able to hide their intentions from him? It was years since someone was able to lie to him. SUNXxQ

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

He couldn’t control his face as a shocked look distorted his features.

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The boy didn’t seem interested in him. Knox looked across, but the boy was looking elsewhere. He was suddenly annoyed that they were not alone.

When did he become someone that engaged in small talk?

The boy finally designed to speak. That was what it felt like. It felt as if this boy was a king and everyone else should bow beneath his feet. What kind of parents raised a boy like this?

He knew most of the young scions from the powerful families. At this age, they had already been brought out to socialize and make contacts. UB YdH

Was the boy the illegitimate son of someone? Even then, no one would hide this boy away. Not to mention this person wouldn’t stand for it.

He was so lost in thought that he almost missed what the boy was saying. That would have been a shame.

“I’m wondering who they were, and I’m making up stories in my head.” The boy’s voice had a shrill edge to it. His voice hasn’t broken yet.

“Are you?” He could not keep the amused note out of his voice. All these men were on his security detail. What stories had this boy made up in his head? He didn’t take this person to be a dreamer. oZTWmd

He persisted. “What have you made up so far?” The more he talked, the more he realized that this child was indulging him.

He wanted to engage with him more. He wouldn’t mind if their conversation carried on indefinitely.

Chrysanthemum Garden.

The boy lifted a slender hand and pointed a finger. The entire motion was smooth and graceful. He looked fragile and delicious.

He paused at his errant thought. What was that? He was about to analyze it when the boy spoke. jd3bWU

“That person came out of a supply closet. A doctor followed out after him. They looked down the corridor before separating. I thought they might be having a romantic affair.” His voice was even and didn’t indicate any curiosity.

Knox tensed.

His security staff wasn’t authorized to be in contact with hospital staff. He looked up and took note of the guard the boy pointed out. He was annoyed.

It wasn’t the first time someone betrayed him. Why was his mood affected? MurS0j

Parker would have to be investigated. His brothers sometimes managed to find a weak link in his organization. He hadn’t suspected Parker, but it didn’t change much. He would be debriefed and then let go.

The people with information about him were far and few between. After he left the hospital, the information Parker held would be useless.

Knox had planned to stay here a few more nights. However, his location might be compromised. He would leave after he was finished with his cub.

He opened his mouth and spoke before he realized what he was saying. “Are you wondering what they were doing in the closet?” His voice was hard. xuhDs

It clicked in his mind. This boy was at an age where he would be curious about sex and relationships. Even if he was above average, he was only human.

The thought comforted and irritated him at the same time.

All he received from this person was a delicate shoulder shrug. “At my age, I am curious about a lot of things.”

Knox was relieved. Even if it was a lie, he was glad that his boy’s voice didn’t hold any real interest. IydeS

“Is that so. How old are you?” This person had to be at least seventeen years old. It wouldn’t be long before he was an adult. Knox could wait the year until this person became an adult.

It took him a moment to notice since he was unused to experiencing attraction to another person. The eight-year age difference caused him to pause for a moment. Would his boy think it was too much?

It would seem like the world to a teenager just starting life. He wouldn’t let him get away, though. He experienced lust, but nothing close to this curiousness and desire.

There was another pause. It seemed to stretch on for eternity to Knox. This was the first time he wanted to hear an answer so badly. BOsyF0

“I am fifteen years old,” he said in an amused voice. A giggle followed his words.

Knox’s jaw dropped, and he turned a burning gaze to stare at the boy’s side profile. Fifteen?

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“You are very young.” He didn’t even realize he had spoken. He pinched his thigh to regain his lost control.

How was he supposed to feel? He had been lusting after an actual child. His one-year wait had turned into three? Ry N0o

How did a boy of fifteen have this aura and charisma? It was illogical. What kind of environment was needed to raise a child like this?

Knox’s family situation was shitty. At fifteen, he was more mature than his peers. He was superior to people twice his age. Yet, even he had to admit that his fifteen-year-old self would piss his pants if he met his present self.

There was an edge that you got with age and experience.

For this child to have it? DYf0M2

He had thought to leave this boy alone to mature, but what if that wasn’t an option?

It was unlikely that his boy’s home situation was good. People from happy households didn’t have attitudes like this.

How many times had he wished for someone to hold out his hand to him when he was younger?

This boy fascinated him. He wouldn’t leave him to flounder in the dark if he needed help. If he did, he would not be shameless enough to approach him in three years. 1UWld0

Who would want a partner who deliberately ignored you in your time of need?

Knox was torn but had already made his decision. He would have to be careful he wasn’t relegated to the role of friend or mentor.

Their conversation continued, both hiding their inner thoughts.

Knox was curious to know what was happening in his boy’s mind. OEGTbd

Shifting, he stared unapologetically at the boy’s face. “You are very young,” he said this more to himself than to the person next to him.

“I am?” He asked.

He looked at his guard’s milling around. Every now and then, they stole a look over. Nothing too obvious. He knew they were shocked by his actions. Parker would have to be neutralized. He didn’t want this encounter spreading to random ears.

He turned to look back at his boy. “You are. Aren’t you going to ask how old I am?” He made his voice as beguiling as possible. KuveXq

“I thought it rude to ask. You are older than me.” His voice was meek.

Knox had the impression that his boy was playing with him. He couldn’t help but chuckle. “I’m not much older than you. I just turned twenty-five.” What kind of bullshit was he saying? Wasn’t he worried about an eight-year age gap before? He couldn’t help but be amused.

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Ten years was a big deal the younger you were. He would have to lay a sweet nest for his little tiger cub to rest in. He had to be careful. His boy might be snatched up by someone more age-appropriate.

“Old.” It was so soft that it almost went unheard. ku Gog

That one word was a punch to Knox’s gut. His tiger cub knew how to go for the jugular even at this age.

His boy stiffened up beside him. “Sorry, didn’t mean that.”

This was the first genuine response he had gotten from his tiger cub. He couldn’t help but let out a self-deprecating laugh. Why did it have to be about this?

When he was younger, he couldn’t wait to get older. Now his boy would hold ‘old age’ against him. The world was never fair. It was a good thing he never cared about the odds stacked against him. ihDTKn

“I guess to you I must seem very old. I am a bit hurt by that.” He would keep score. His tiger cub would have to answer for this later.

It wasn’t nice to poke at his sore spot.

“I need to get going.”

Knox frowned. His mind had drifted. He reached out and held onto his cub’s wrist. Shit. He froze and chastised himself. If he came on too strong, his boy would be wary of him. 6d9r18

He didn’t don’t that his boy was capable of denying him. He wasn’t an impulsive person. He could already see the effect this person would have on his life.

Three years never looked this long. “I’m sorry.” He said, releasing his hold. “What is your name?” He finally managed to ask the question that had been eating away at him.

He didn’t need the information to find out who his tiger cub was. It would just make it easier to approach him in the future. If he showed up without having an explanation, he would put his little tiger on edge.

Knox hoped his boy didn’t lie. That would create a whole different set of problems. ykSGrE

There was a pregnant pause. Longer than any of its predecessors. He knew instinctively that his tiger cub was weighing the pros and cons of telling him the truth.

“Bai Li.” He tossed carelessly over his shoulder before walking off.

“Bai Li,” Knox said, savoring the taste of the name on his lips. It was his name. He was glad his cub didn’t lie to him. He didn’t know how he knew, but he was certain. “Bai Li.”

He watched Bai Li’s back. His little tiger cub. “Aren’t you going to ask my name?” He called after him, unable to control his happiness. sr5Y91

“I thought it rude to ask.”

His cub didn’t bother to turn around. The words were clearly meant to dismiss him. It was adorable. He wanted his cub’s soft spots. He hoped Bai Li would show them only to him. He would make it so that Bai Li’s claws were aimed at everyone but him.

Chrysanthemum Garden.

It was as he watched Bai Li’s retreat that he realized something. The edges of his lips turned up in a smile. He lifted his hand that had held his boy to his lips. His smile continued to widen.

Bai Li, his cute dangerous boy. That sharp child had been wary and nervous of him. It took him until now to realize that his boy hadn’t looked at him once. He would have to check the security cameras, but he was sure of it. FZ0lv2

His boy didn’t want to know who he was. He had been self-conscious and on edge. He had just hidden it.

Bai Li was a tiger cub pretending to be a rabbit. He wouldn’t let him have his way.

A shiver ran down Knox’s spine. He would have to fight Bai Li at every turn.

He was looking forward to it. iwo0BN

The fight would make victory that much sweeter.

After he could no longer see Bai Li, he stood up and motioned for his head of security to approach. “Boone,” he said when the man was beside him. “Parker has been compromised. Kill him. Prepare to move tonight.”

“Knox?” Boone questioned.

He could understand his surprise. He didn’t often use deadly for, but this was no longer about his life. 5kY2yN

What if his brothers got hold of his little cub from the information Parker provided? He would already be a target.

Knox was not the type of man to sit and randomly have a conversation with a teenage boy.

He didn’t explain himself. “Do it. I want all the information from the security cameras transferred to me and then erased from everywhere else.” He rubbed the finger on his left hand together. He could still feel the soft skin in his grip.

“Find everything you can about Bai Li. Use a picture of him for confirmation. Do it yourself, and make sure no one finds out.” His voice had an edge to it. He felt manic inside. He wouldn’t allow the shit happening in his life to affect his cub. DJHRCW

If anything threatened his little Bai Li…he couldn’t think about it.

He would burn the world down to keep him safe.

 

QuVxwt

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70 comments

  1. Author-san here. This wasn’t meant to be a psychological novel, but it ended up that way. I have decided to run with it by throwing in some alternate points of view. How we remember and interpret things differs based on emotions and preconceived notions.

    Ps. I know some people might have problems with the age gap, but in my mind, Bai Li is 40 years old. Despite this being a book world. I don’t think he would have much use for an 18-year-old boy. My male lead wouldn’t be introduced anytime soon if I waited until my main character was 18, and I would probably still make them 10 years apart.

    P.s P.s I will get to the comments soon.

    • My issue with the age gap is more Knox’s intentions.

      Yes Bai Li is 40, but Knox doesn’t know that. He basically just admitted in this chapter that he plans to groom what he assumes is a 15 year old. A 15 year old he is aware doesnt want anything to do with him.

      I really like this story, I just wanted to put forward this one discomfort.

      • Agree…I actually have a 10 yr gap w a sibling and the notion of seeing any of their friends as romantic interests is barf-inducing. Also? Someone turning 18 doesn’t magically turn them into an adult. Knox literally doesn’t know there’s a 40 year old man in there. This setting up of their future feelings could’ve been approached differently. Knox could’ve been just interested in this steel spine kid as a person he acknowledges and moved on w his life and meet again when it’s more appropriate and bring in all those romantic notions. There can still be age gap when they’re older but the way it’s handled here seems at odds with how you’ve handled other matters. It is just jarring to see the level of care that the story goes into acknowledging the abuse and gaslighting from the mother to the MC and this just get a pass.
      • I saw it differently 🤔 these are my thoughts:

        From the first place, Knox thought Bai Li was older than 15 because he had that temperament, he even thinks at the beginning that he had to be al least 17 “at least”, he just doesn’t give up when he finds out he’s 15 😂😅🤷‍♀️

        And in second place Bai Li has the mental age of 40 and I don’t think he’ll be interested in people his age and since Knox also has that air that makes him feel older than he is he may accept him easier 🤷‍♀️ (and if you think about it, between Bai Li and Knox, Bai Li would be the older one with 15 years of age gap 🤣🤣👍 even if it’s only mentally)

        Sooo I think it’s fine? 🤣🤣 and although the age gap looks really big now when they’re older it won’t be that noticeable I think (and I don’t really mind 10 year age gap 😂🤷‍♀️)

        • Thank you for your feedback.

          My issue is solely looking at this from Nox pov. Let’s take Bai Li’s situation out of the question as thats not something that Knox would ever conceive.

          Being 25 and saying to a 17 year old “ill wait one year for you” is very predatory. A 10 year age gap doesn’t mean much post 30 but before then those years are very important. Your mind doesn’t finish developing until you are roughly 25 years old and until then you are still very susceptible to manipulation tactics. It is very difficult to establish a healthy relationship between a 17 and a 25 year old because the power dynamics are not equal.

          Then he finds out he is 15. And after the initial shock his decision is, ill just way 3 years. That is not ok. Everything I had explained before still applies but is now egregious. It is impossible for a 15 and 25 year old to have a healthy relationship. Knox continued to have lustful thoughts and even after realizing he was making Bai Li uncomfortable he grabbed him and made him tell his name.

          After realizing Bai Li was being abused he justifies his decisions by deciding he has to play the hero. This leads to a relationship of expectations and obligations.

          Finally Knox is an extremely rich and powerful man who knows even having this conversation puts Bai Lis life in danger. And yet after realizing both this and that Bai Li again didn’t want anything to do with him, he still hardens his resolve to groom a 15 to later pursue.

          At every turn because Knox doesn’t know that Bai Li is actually 40, he should have immediately given up any romantic inclination. At least if he wanted to not be deeply problematic.

          I only say this because I otherwise adore both the story and the writing. I found it a breath of fresh air in a genre plagued with problematic tropes. But the ML being categorically a predatory is a glaring issue for me.

          I agree with a previous commenter in that I would have preferred and approved if Knox’s interest was purely admiration. Taking Bai Li in as a Mentor with the Express purpose of fostering his business abilities. Later at a more appropriate time when there power balances are more equal then establishing a relationship of feelings.

    • First of all AWESOME work author sama

      And as for this being a psychological element one I guess it’s more fun and interesting that way so looking forward for way more!!

      Also thanks a bunch for the bonus chapter!

    • Hi author💕💕 I love the novel so far- and I think it was always destined to be a bit psychological. I like reading from other points of view ever now and then, especially the ML’s. I’m not worried about the age gap here though it would be super disappointing if the ML took advantage of our MC before he was ready.

    • Honestly, the age gap is perfectly fine. My Mom and Dad have a ten years age gap and had an arranged marriage, so it’s quite common and normal, not a big deal. On the other side, Bai Li is probably 15 years older than Knox, so……

      Also, thanks for the bonus! I felt hopeless thinking that I’ll have to wait for Monday to come to get my daily dose of Bai Li, but thank goodness you didn’t starve us!! Love you author!!

    • My only concern for the age gap is that ML needs to wait for three years before he can eat MC hakhak

      Thank you for the chapter author-san!!! More power and may Bai Li have a smoother life

    • In my opinion, in the fiction, no matters ages only love!! 😊😊 also for me is very cute how Knox respect Bai’s age, and how he is determinated of waiting to he is gonna to be a adult.

    • Now that you mentioned it, it’s probably the reason that Knox fell for Bai Li. Sometimes what people fell for wasn’t their looks or apperance but the aura and attitude they possess and project to other people. If Bai Li wasnt reincarnated and possess skills and experience, he would’ve been scared shitless in the face Knox

  2. Yandere… Well it’s not like I’m gonna complain about it 👉🏻👈🏻

    Thank you for the chapter!!! ❤️❤️

  3. Author-san, thank you very much for this pov of ML! It really helped to feel ml (rather than just being nervous and wary of it, knowing only Bai Lee’s point of view)

  4. Thanks for the chapter!

    (づ ̄3 ̄)づ╭❤~(づ ̄3 ̄)づ╭ ❤ ~

    This has successfully got me hooked (/≧▽≦)/ can’t wait for more!

  5. I don’t mind the age gap being 10 years but the physical age being 15 is an issue for me because everyone sees him as a 15 year old boy.

    Anyway, I like Knox. I also like that he’s saying he will wait but still protect him.

    Thanks for this POV! <3

  6. YES , FINALLY I CAN POST COMMENTS!!

    I suck at registering accounts and these kind of things cuz I’m an idiot

    breathing in and out from anxiety

    That’s my first time actually leaving a comment in a novel , since the last time I actually posted a comment was like..a year ago -a real story btw- and it was about a shitpost on YouTube :’)) -the only place I leave comments on-

    Anyway , I just wanted to say that I really like this novel , your writing style is really good and it never fails to make me scream and accidentally drop my phone on my nose every single time , god knows how many times I sneakily came here to check if there was a new update , only to leave almost crying from dispointment -f*** did I write that right?-

    Thanks for your hard work and I hope to read more in the future!

    Ps : can I know what’s Bai li’s hair and eye color please? I want to draw a fanart ;w;

  7. My 👏Child 👏 Has 👏 Such 👏 A 👏 Presence 👏

    Ahhhhh, I loved seeing how the ML reacted to Bai Li! Even before I thought he was so cool, but now I can feel it even more seeing it through Knox eyes.

    This mama approves Knox courtship!

    A man who knows how to wait and protect my baby Li is welcome u-u!

    Author-san, thanks for spoiling us with a chapter today ❤️

  8. Thanks for the chapter! It was cool to see the event from another POV, was not expecting Knox to be in something like a mafia :0 I’ve used chrysanthemum garden for a long time but I made an account just to thank you for your original series :3

  9. Lol that went from 0 to 100 REAL FAST!

    Knox really went from «who is this suspicious person and do I need to kill him» to «If anything happens to Bai Li I’ll kill everyone in this room and then myself» in the span of a single conversation 😂.

    Altho gotta say Im slightly uncomfortable with the way he is literally lusting after a 15 yr old. But eh we’ll see I guess.

    Thank you for the chapter!

  10. You have captivated me, author-san.

    Also, I have no idea how the heck Bai Li managed to live as long as he did in his previous life

  11. Hmm… I’m not against age gap, but bruh, this is kinda unrealistic.

    It would be better that Bai Li sparked his interest as an unusual person and maybe after few more coincidental meetings Knox would realize that Bai Li became special person to him.

    I’m not really ‘love at first sight’ kinda person.

    And Knox is just giving me creep vibes.

    I was intrigued by him in last chapter, but this one just made him meeh.

    Bai Li has enough problems on his plate, he doesn’t need yandere stalker.

    This is still a good story, and I will keep reading it, but this chapter just makes me not like this ML.

    • Yeah I agree that things are going pretty fast. Still, sometimes there’s just this feeling of finally finding a worthy opponent, you know? I feel like he’s more attracted to the power than he is the person at this point.

  12. To be honest Bai Li is the real old geezer that is robbing the cradle here. He’s 40 and our ML is 25.

  13. I really like the different point of view 💛 and I don’t mind at all that there is a psychological element 🥰

    Thank you for the chapter 😊💕

  14. I’m sorry I know the whole burning the world down but is supposed to be overprotective but all I could think as I read that line was ‘ damn Mc finally gonna get rid of his mother and an ML popped out’. Especially how MC said about his mother in chap 12.😅

  15. Eh, it’s been psychological for me since the very beginning you draw out Bai Li’s survival story against his mother. I’m surprised you didn’t realize it.

    As most readers said, 15 is not really the age where you want your protagonist to get involved with someone older. However, since this is just w fictional story, I don’t really care. You do you.

    Thank you for the update ❤️

    Knox looks interesting. I wonder how he’ll approach Bai Li later.

  16. I really love this novel but I feel like the ML is suddenly so obsessed with the MC. Would liked to read more interactions before that happened and not out of the blue. Tho I still love the novel so much. Thank you author!💜

  17. ML I appreciate your desire to protect Bai Li (It’s what he deserves), but please calm the fuck down you met for like 10 minutes.

  18. Wow target locked and on the first meeting!!

    Yey for protection! At least he’s gonna wait for our MC, and that “gonna burn the world for him” omg!! Such craziness! I loved it! S+ class boyfriend!

    Thanks for the chapter!

  19. I like stories with age gap.. But I’m disgusted with how Knox is lusting after a 15 year old child.. Bai Li might be older inside, but Knox doesn’t know that.. His thoughts are unhealthy.. Right now he is simply a creepy pedophile..

    No matter how his intention to help Bai Li is stated, the truth is that Knox just wants to knock this kid up.. I wish there was a sane ML for Bai Li instead of this psycho..

    But I like this story.. So I’m gonna read it until the end..

    Thanks for the chapter..

  20. I’m gonna try to ignore the age gap and the fact that this mf fell in “love” at the drop of a hate (that’s not love lol that’s obsession).

    • I read the authors comment, thank god this story is not going into a direction I assumed it would be! The falling in love so quick is still ehh but that’s just a personal story preference of mine that I can just ignore.

  21. bro, Google translator instead of translating his boy, translates his son ☠️☠️ Knox thinking about him with interest and our baobei wanting to stay away from him XD