☆Side Akito☆
It’s a rare occurrence, where Ren had multiple NGs.
Though it’s a normal amount of NGs for other actors, for Ren who usually succeeded in one take, it seemed like he was having a hard time.
“…. Sorry, Aki-san. I…”
“It’s alright. Don’t I usually get NGs too? C’mon, loosen up.”
What’s bothering him, is the scene where Ren realizes his feelings of love for the first time.
As usual, he’d have his arm wrapped around my shoulders, and we’d stare at each other from a close distance. We did this often for magazine shoots, but it’s quite different when it came to the drama shoot.
Though he realized his feelings goes beyond friendship, he didn’t want to ruin his relationship. Suppressing his feelings, his heart ached. And then, acting as if nothing’s happened, though he truly wanted to cry. That kind of scene, is one he couldn’t do.
“Shall we take a small break?”
The director didn’t mind. He even smiled, saying, “So even you have these rare days, huh?” Having said that, Ren definitely isn’t the type of person who’d take advantage of that fact.
Though, it’d be better if he did. I worry that he’s pushing himself too hard.
I’m concerned, so I chatted with everyone to relieve that feeling. But, as I’ve thought, I couldn’t get my mind off of it; so, I left the studio to go check on Ren, who’d returned to the dressing room.
But when I arrived, there was no one. ‘Maybe he’s in the rest area?’ Thinking so, I headed in that direction.
When I peeked in, I saw Ren with his manager.
Ren sat on the sofa, looking wilted.
“I can’t… Because it’s Aki-san.”
My feet, which were about to walk closer, froze. Or rather, I couldn’t move.
“Why?”
“When we’re that close, I can’t act. I can’t… get into my role…”
“Uhm–? Aren’t you always sticking together? The first take got an OK, didn’t it?”
I know that eavesdropping isn’t good, but my body refused to move.
No, I didn’t want to move.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
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“Fumu. It’s the first time you’re this serious, Ren. Then, do you understand the reason for it?”
“… No. Maybe it’s because I lack experience…?”
“Aah–…. In romance dramas?”
“… Yes. It’s my first time. I think that’s why.”
“U—hm… But, isn’t it more difficult if your partner is a woman? You don’t have to be weird about it. Unless it’s a kiss scene, of course.”
“Eh… shouldn’t it be the other way around? Shouldn’t it be easier if it’s a woman?”
“Fuun? Well, whichever it is, this is troubling. You need to get over this somehow… If you stumble here, a kiss scene would be impossible.”
“…. Uuu… I, don’t think I can do it… Maybe, it doesn’t matter. Had it been any other man or woman, it’d be possible… But because this is Aki-san, it’s impossible…”
Before I knew it, I was already running away from there.
As I ran, I calmed down. Why did I run? Why did I walk away? I don’t know. I slowed down, walking the rest of the way to the dressing room.
Entering the dressing room, I quietly sat on the two-seater sofa provided by the reception.
I don’t know why I’m so upset. Why my blood felt like it’s draining. Why my vision is so blurry. It feels like what I saw wasn’t real.
Atop the table, I saw a plastic bottle of water. I took it into my hand, opened the lid, and drank it all in one go.
Though I drank it, it didn’t feel like I’ve drank anything at all. Nothing feels real.
“…. Does Ren…. Hate me…?”
The conversation earlier, indicates so.
He couldn’t stand being so close to me, can’t act with me, doesn’t feel like he could do a kissing scene with me, I’m definitely being hated.
It’s because I’m me, and not any other men or women, that he couldn’t do it… it must be because of that.
Did I, do something wrong…?
“For me… I thought that… I could do it because it’s Ren…”
I wonder why. The damage dealt is greater than when my girlfriend dumped me. If I let my guard down, I’m pretty sure I’d cry.
“I wanted to be partners… with Ren.”
I think, I’m glad I didn’t say it back then.
I would’ve looked completely delusional.
I need to quickly pull myself together, or else I’d be the one who can’t film.
I looked up at the clock. There’s still around half an hour remaining. I’m not sure if I could pull myself together.
I wanted to properly cry it out. It’d make me feel so much better.
Just as I thought about it, someone knocked on the door to the room.
“… Yes?”
“Uhm, it’s Ren. Is now a good time?”
“….. fuu.”
I took a sharp breath. My heart went cold, as if it was doused in cold water.
“Ah… Right now… isn’t a good time.”
My voice trembled. If I saw Ren’s face right now, I feel like I’d cry.
“Aki-san? I’m coming in, okay?”
“… Hah? I said no…”
The door slammed open, and when he saw me, his face changed colour, and he came running to my side.
“What’s wrong, Aki-san? Are you feeling ill?”
Ren got on one knee and examined my face closely; I pushed him away.
“…. Aah, un. Well… A bit…”
“Are you alright? How’s your temperature?”
“It… it’s alright, I think.”
Ren’s hand touched my forehead. An unknown emotion overwhelmed me, and my eyes started to get hot.
“I’m really, alright… So…”
“But Aki-san, you look like you’re in so much pain. I think it’s better if you go to the infir–”
“I said I’m alright. I’ll be better even if you leave it alone.”
“Aki-san…”
“…. Wh, what about you? Did you need something?”
If there’s nothing, then it’d like for you to just leave.
I just want to be alone right now.
I feel like my heart’s a mess. It’s extremely, painful.
“Ah, un. It’s… I can’t stop filming anymore, and I want to overcome this somehow… That’s why…”
“…. What, what do you want to do?”
Why did you come to me, what’re you planning? I don’t understand.
“Ah, but I guess we should stop now. We’ll do it after you’re feeling better, Aki-san.”
“… I don’t know… what you’re planning, but if it’ll affect the shooting… I’m all ears.”
“But…”
“It’s fine… I’m fine.”
I insisted, and Ren looked conflicted, before slowly sitting down on the sofa with me, as if he’d given up.
With a worried look on his face, he gently placed his outstretched hand on my head.
“… I… said…”
I wanted to ask him, “Why are you doing this to me?” I wanted to tell him what I’d overheard and ask, “Don’t you hate me?”
Yet, right before him, I just wanted to cry.
