Translator: Viv
Editor: thomas
Author’s Note:
This chapter contains a significant amount of content related to Liang Qiuyun and Tang Zhen, so, well, please be cautious if it’s not to your liking…
Also, when Xiao Zhou and Tang Zhen met, Xiao Zhou was 18 years old and Tang Zhen was 21. The six years mentioned include the year when Tang Zhen was 23.
The second act is halfway complete, but the pacing is unavoidable. The second act is primarily from the perspective of Qiao He. Unlike the first act, which some readers felt was too fast, it was set in a particular context because Tang Zhen had just attempted suicide, and I felt it couldn’t be anything but fast-paced. The second act is similar in that all the crises have yet to unfold, and Qiao He is a more contemplative character. His perception of the world might be the slowest part of the entire story (if I manage to complete the entire story, I’m not even sure how I’ll write Xiao Zhou’s part later on…). It’s possible that readers who are accustomed to the pace of the first act or other stories may find the second act dragging or slow, but I can’t do much about it. My abilities are limited, and I apologize for that.
Perhaps it was because Liang Qiuyun received a phone call from Tang Zhen before going to sleep. After more than ten hours, Liang Qiuyun dreamt of him again.
The content of each dream was more or less the same, revolving around Tang Zhen, Tang Zhen, always Tang Zhen. Sometimes Tang Zhen was smiling. When he had just transferred to their school, he took him hiking. Tang Zhen was panting and his face turned red from the cold. They walked halfway, and then he carried Tang Zhen the rest of the way. When they reached the mountaintop, Tang Zhen looked up at the crimson clouds and said, “Yun-ge, the mountain is so beautiful.” Another time, he took him rowing on the lake. In the summer waters, boats came and went, and swimmers were plentiful. He jumped in to swim, but Tang Zhen was afraid to get in the water, so he sat by the lake, bared his feet, lightly stepping on the stones in the water, and placed his feet on his chest, which was covered in sweat, while smiling.
Tang Zhen liked to call him “Yun-ge.” He called him that when he was smiling and even when he was crying. Tang Zhen rarely cried, but when he did, it was mostly because of his family issues. Sometimes he cried because he missed home, and other times he missed home so much that he couldn’t help but make a phone call. After the call, he missed home even more. Liang Qiuyun was always slow to realize things. If it weren’t for those few nights when he was awakened by those mating cats, he would have never noticed that Tang Zhen could cry.
Tang Zhen saw him and forced a smile while wiping away tears. He walked over, half-awake, and embraced Tang Zhen tightly. At first, he thought Tang Zhen was being bullied at school or work, but then he realized that Tang Zhen was missing his long-dispersed, departed home.
“You don’t need to miss home. Consider this place as your home,” he said to Tang Zhen. Outside the window, the night had grown deep, with only the faint light of a mosquito repellent lamp dispersing the darkness around Liang Qiuyun and Tang Zhen. “I’m here,” Liang Qiuyun said again. “You don’t have to be afraid of anything.”
Tang Zhen leaned his head against Liang Qiuyun’s shoulder, silent. His arms were cool as he held onto Liang Qiuyun’s neck. “Yun-ge,” Tang Zhen called out. The tremor in his voice was unforgettable.
Sometimes Tang Zhen would cry because of other things. For instance, when he went to see a doctor, Liang Qiuyun would wait outside, unaware of what he talked about with the doctor. He only knew that every time Tang Zhen came out, his eyes would be swollen like walnuts, but his small face would have a smile. Once, when Liang Qiuyun went home and got beaten up, scars remained on his back that hadn’t faded yet. Tang Zhen saw them when Liang Qiuyun was changing clothes. Tang Zhen cried that time too. Liang Qiuyun told him, “You’re almost an adult. Why do you still cry with red eyes and a runny nose so easily?” Tang Zhen sniffled and said, “Yun-ge.”
Then he couldn’t say anything more.
For Liang Qiuyun, many times, just one “Yun-ge” was enough. Tang Zhen didn’t need to say anything else.
Tang Zhen would also cry on certain occasions, like when they were filming. Kissing scenes between brothers felt strange. With so many people watching, Tang Zhen would get nervous and scared, taking numerous takes without success. It was a rare occurrence for Tang Zhen, who was a genius in his craft. Liang Qiuyun knew that Tang Zhen had kissed many girls in scenes before, but this time, something strange happened. No matter what they tried, they couldn’t get the scene right. Tang Zhen would bite his lip when he got nervous. In the middle of a take, he licked his own bleeding lip, but it didn’t hurt. They returned to the dressing room together, and when Tang Zhen took a sip of water, even the rim of the cup was stained with blood. Liang Qiuyun couldn’t bear it anymore. He held Tang Zhen close, lifted his head, and forcefully kissed him. “A-zhen,” he said softly. Tang Zhen’s entire body tensed up. He kept his eyes open as Liang Qiuyun pushed his tongue into his mouth. Tang Zhen was scared but couldn’t avoid him.
It lasted for quite a while. Producer Mr. Fang had come in, and sat down on the side. Liang Qiuyun was panting, his heart pounding, and Tang Zhen was held in his arms, in his embrace, unable to escape. Finally, Tang Zhen leaned on him as if he were suffocating, soft and completely reliant on him. Tang Zhen’s eyes were red. Liang Qiuyun asked him if he was okay, and Tang Zhen nodded. They went out to continue filming, and they got it right in one take.
Then came the scene that should have made Tang Zhen even more uncomfortable, but for some reason, Tang Zhen performed well. Following the requirements of the script, he undressed in front of the camera, letting his clothes slide down gradually below his waist. Liang Qiuyun knew that Tang Zhen was afraid of undressing and showing his skin in front of others, but at that moment, it seemed like Tang Zhen wasn’t afraid at all. He sat on top of Liang Qiuyun, facing away from the camera, moving his waist little by little, with only his face, hidden from the lens, visible to Liang Qiuyun. Tang Zhen bit his lip, on the verge of tears.
Liang Qiuyun became aroused. It was too strange. He used to say, “A-zhen, you don’t have to be afraid. Yun-ge is here.” But now, when Tang Zhen was scared and crying, he became aroused by this version of Tang Zhen. After they finished filming, Tang Zhen suddenly lost all his energy. Liang Qiuyun avoided him and retreated into the bathroom alone.
However, Tang Zhen came to find him.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
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Liang Qiuyun opened the bathroom door and pulled him inside. Tang Zhen was still wearing his costume since he had to continue filming shortly. Liang Qiuyun held him, pressed him against the wall, and kissed him passionately, causing Tang Zhen to gasp and tears to well up in his eyes. Tang Zhen’s pants were taken off and hung around his ankles, revealing his slender legs that were separated as Liang Qiuyun held and supported him, pressing against him, and sealing his mouth. Tang Zhen trembled all over as Liang Qiuyun reached down and felt that there was no response from Tang Zhen’s front, which remained soft and flaccid.
Liang Qiuyun released Tang Zhen’s lips and heard Tang Zhen gasping for breath as he asked, “Yun-ge, what’s wrong?” Liang Qiuyun shook his head.
“Don’t be afraid, A-zhen, don’t be afraid,” he said. Tang Zhen looked at him blankly. Liang Qiuyun took off his undershirt from his costume and gathered Tang Zhen’s legs together, using the piece of silk to cover both the front and back of Tang Zhen’s unresponsive area.
“It won’t get dirty, and it won’t delay filming,” he said in a reassuring tone. “A-zhen, endure it for a while, okay? Just for a moment.”
Tang Zhen was thrust against the wall, swaying back and forth between it and Liang Qiuyun’s body. Tang Zhen kept his eyes open, staring at him as if he were dumbfounded. They kissed, and Tang Zhen didn’t resist; he parted his lips and kissed him softly. After Liang Qiuyun climaxed, Tang Zhen didn’t immediately run away either. He allowed Liang Qiuyun to hold him, as if he couldn’t be separated from him. Liang Qiuyun found it difficult to face himself and Tang Zhen. He became aroused and ejaculated on Tang Zhen’s body. The act they had just engaged in was almost equivalent to sexual intercourse between a man and a woman, with little difference.
Perhaps the only difference was that Tang Zhen showed no reaction throughout the entire process. The only sound came after it was over. Liang Qiuyun kissed his face, filled with remorse and apologies. Tang Zhen said, “Yun-ge, it’s okay.” He added, “If you’re feeling better, let’s go out.”
Later, they repeated the same actions several times in the company dormitory. Tang Zhen’s organ still showed no response, and his anus was too tight even for a finger to enter. Tang Zhen didn’t mind; he said it might be his problem, that he might be too insensitive or have some kind of illness. “Yun-ge, it’s alright if you force it in,” he said while lying in bed with Liang Qiuyun. It was as if he didn’t care at all, as long as Liang Qiuyun was happy, Tang Zhen would do anything.
However, Liang Qiuyun couldn’t agree to that.
Tang Zhen’s schedule became packed after his debut, with no days off. He was constantly singing and dancing, traveling across the country. He only had a few hours of sleep each day, and in that limited rest time, Liang Qiuyun could see him. If he were to force anything more, not only would it disrupt their work, but Tang Zhen’s body might not be able to handle it.
There was no rush to film, so even if Tang Zhen got dirtier, it wouldn’t be a problem. However, for some unknown reason, Liang Qiuyun still took a towel and wrapped it around Tang Zhen’s private area. It was as if he was protecting something he himself didn’t know what it was. By doing this, it felt like Tang Zhen wouldn’t be harmed in his hands, and there would still be room to reconcile their relationship. Liang Qiuyun stimulated him through the towel, grinding against him. Tang Zhen was pushed into the bed, and his legs, tightly closed, swayed in the air, bearing Liang Qiuyun’s desires on his behalf. Tang Zhen, who was adored by so many people, lay in a shabby little apartment in ASE, holding onto his Yun-ge’s neck, allowing his Yun-ge to do as he pleased. He whispered softly, “Yun-ge, Yun-ge.” Liang Qiuyun said, “A-zhen, don’t be afraid, I’ll never leave you.”
Tang Zhen had no secrets; he told Liang Qiuyun everything, all his pain, worries, weaknesses, and shortcomings. Liang Qiuyun understood them all.
However, even so, Liang Qiuyun couldn’t hold him back, couldn’t hold him like he did during that filming day, making him unable to leave. The gap between them continued to widen infinitely. Tang Zhen was like a little bird flying in from the horizon, sometimes flying into Liang Qiuyun’s dreams, and sometimes flying out. He flew higher and farther, slipping away from one’s grasp, until he soared into the clouds where Liang Qiuyun could no longer see him, shattering Liang Qiuyun’s dreams into pieces.
Liang Qiuyun clenched his teeth, feeling stiffness in his neck, probably because he forgot to close the window before going to bed last night. He couldn’t feel his pillow and couldn’t understand how he ended up with a stiff neck.
He opened his eyes and saw someone lying next to him, with their hair swirling on top of their head. Liang Qiuyun hesitated for a moment and looked down.
He kicked Luo Tiantian off the bed.
Luo Tiantian hadn’t fully woken up yet, so when he suddenly rolled onto the floor, he exclaimed, thinking it was an earthquake, and looked around in a panic.
Liang Qiuyun asked, “Who let you in?”
Luo Tiantian stood up, his little face wrinkled, his hair all messed up on the pillow. Apparently, he had taken over Liang Qiuyun’s pillow.
“With so many mosquitoes in your living room and the sofa being so uncomfortable to sleep on,” Luo Tiantian said, pouting unhappily, realizing that Liang Qiuyun had kicked him. He was so angry that he bared his teeth, saying, “Your bed is so big, and I’m not even crowding you. Why did you kick me?”
Liang Qiuyun gasped for breath, sitting on the bed and giving Luo Tiantian a stern look.
As Luo Tiantian saw Liang Qiuyun’s gaze, his naturally high-pitched voice involuntarily lowered.
“And besides, you stole a kiss from me while you were asleep,” Luo Tiantian said, rolling his eyes. “I haven’t settled the score with you yet!”
Liang Qiuyun looked surprised.
“What nonsense are you talking about?” he asked.
“Who’s talking nonsense?” Luo Tiantian complained. He jumped onto the bed and sat next to Liang Qiuyun, pulling at his collar and pointing to his neck. “Look, look.”
Luo Tiantian had a slender neck, and Liang Qiuyun saw several purplish-red marks on it. He asked, “Where did you get those bruises?”
Luo Tiantian looked at him incredulously.
Under Luo Tiantian’s left eye, there was a teardrop-shaped birthmark that was only visible at moments like this. Usually, he covered it up with his mother’s foundation.
Liang Qiuyun said, “Luo Tiantian, how old are you?”
“You don’t need to come here anymore in the future. Don’t let me see you again,” Liang Qiuyun said, leaving behind these words.
Liang Qiuyun grabbed onto Luo Tiantian’s arm and made a gesture as if he was going to drag him out of the door. Startled, Luo Tiantian looked up, his bare feet stepping on the floor as he tried to shake off Liang Qiuyun’s grip.
“What are you doing?!” Luo Tiantian protested.
Liang Qiuyun reached for the collar of his t-shirt, almost lifting Luo Tiantian off the ground, and stared at him up close. “You’ve grown up, Tiantian. I’m not gonna tolerate everything from you and let you have your way.”
Luo Tiantian retorted, “But you kissed me…”
“Who the hell kissed you?” Liang Qiuyun’s tone was extremely harsh. “Who the hell let you in?!”
Luo Tiantian lifted his eyes, looking both aggrieved and frustrated.
Liang Qiuyun released his grip, and Luo Tiantian stumbled on the floor, nearly falling. His eyes were red, and he sniffled a few times. There were mosquito bite marks all over his legs, covered in the traces of swollen bumps, while he wore children’s shorts.
“What’s the big deal?” Luo Tiantian’s voice carried a hint of tears, as if he had just wanted to play a prank on Liang Qiuyun in the morning, thinking it would be a joke. He didn’t expect Liang Qiuyun to get so angry. “I didn’t blame you! Besides, who cares! Do you think I want to touch you?”
Liang Qiuyun glared at him, and then heard Luo Tiantian grumble as he slammed the door and stormed out. “I’ve even touched Tang Zhen before. Who the hell cares about touching you? You think you’re so great—”
Liang Qiuyun grabbed Luo Tiantian again, startling him, and Luo Tiantian shouted, “Are you crazy?”
“Who did you say you touched?” Liang Qiuyun pressed him. Luo Tiantian’s back was against the wall as he looked at Liang Qiuyun’s furious eyes. Liang Qiuyun asked again, his voice low and seemingly calm, “Who have you touched?”
Luo Tiantian opened his mouth, looking at Liang Qiuyun, his face turning pale.
Luo Tiantian said, “Why do you care? It’s between me and my brother. What right do you have to ask?”
Liang Qiuyun gritted his teeth, gripping his collar tightly and lifting him up.
Luo Tiantian’s face flushed, and he kicked him with his feet, saying, “Let go of me! Let go!”
“Luo Tiantian!” Liang Qiuyun exclaimed.
“Let go of me first, then I’ll talk! If you don’t let go, I won’t say anything!” Tears were welling up in Luo Tiantian’s eyes as he said, “Are you trying to strangle me?”
Liang Qiuyun released his grip on Luo Tiantian, who lowered his head and coughed for a while. Then he looked up at Liang Qiuyun, his gaze unreasonable.
Only then did he speak. He said that last summer, during the ASE Island Music Festival, after everyone had been playing on the beach all day and most of them had left, he couldn’t find Tang Zhen. Eventually, he found Tang Zhen sleeping behind a rock by the sea.
Luo Tiantian swallowed and coughed again. “I didn’t do anything serious. I just… touched him when I saw him lying there.” He added, “He wasn’t even angry! Who’s as petty as you?”
Liang Qiuyun licked his lips and exclaimed, “Why did you touch him for no reason?”
Luo Tiantian sighed helplessly. “I… He… I just saw him lying there with his belly exposed, and I wanted to touch him. Besides, I touched him and he didn’t react at all.” He glared at Liang Qiuyun. “What’s it gotta do with you?”
Liang Qiuyun grabbed Luo Tiantian’s wrist firmly. “Don’t touch him again in the future.”
Luo Tiantian looked at him as if he was dealing with a lunatic. “What’s it to you if I touch my brother? Who do you think you are?”
He continued, “My brother treats me well. He’s so timid, and he gets scared and almost cries. Despite that, he didn’t scold me! He always accommodates me. How long have you known me compared to him? Yet, you dare to scold me over such a small matter!”
Liang Qiuyun furrowed his brow as he listened to Luo Tiantian’s words.
“And besides, I was just playing around. I said I wouldn’t bother him anymore, and he forgave me,” Luo Tiantian said, attempting to snatch his wrist back from Liang Qiuyun’s grip. “Who do you think you are?”
Liang Qiuyun asked him, “Luo Tiantian, what do you mean by ‘playing around’?”
Luo Tiantian replied, “I like playing around like this with men. Is that not allowed? Do you have any say in it?”
“Playing around? Bullshit,” Liang Qiuyun said, “Are you even an adult yet?”
Luo Tiantian stared at him.
“When you kissed Tang Zhen in the movie, Tang Zhen wasn’t an adult either!” Luo Tiantian said with a voice full of grievance.
Author’s Note:
Tang Zhen and Liang Qiuyun did not have any substantial relationship.
damn that’s wild 😀
ty for the translation!