For Yuwon, the winter of his eighteenth year was the greatest trial and turning point of his life. Without private tutoring, he had no reason to see Hyun Gyujin, and since he no longer attended the academy, there were no more chances for Hyun Gyujin to pick him up, erasing all opportunities to see his face.
On the day vacation started, when he returned home from the academy, he struggled with what to say during their goodbye. All he managed to say was “Have a good vacation,” which seemed like a message of farewell to Hyun Gyujin.
One day, two days, three days… He managed to hold out for about 20 days, but from the third week, his health began to deteriorate. The stress from overthinking had taken a toll on his body. For more than two weeks, he remained in poor condition, holed up at home, studying until he fell asleep, waking up in the middle of the night to hug the rabbit cushion Hyun Gyujin had given him, and then falling asleep again until morning. This led to poor sleep, a loss of appetite, and weight loss.
Fortunately or unfortunately, his parents were extremely busy with the aftermath of a hit drama, so they didn’t notice his lack of interaction with Hyun Gyujin. By February, he went with his parents to their villa in Jeju Island for two weeks, allowing him to hide the fact that he and Hyun Gyujin had grown distant.
After two months of precariously getting through each day, on March 2nd, he finally encountered Hyun Gyujin in the school hallway.
“Hyun Gyujin looks even more handsome. Is it because it’s been a while since I last saw him? Hyun Gyujin, are you working out or something?”
“Yeah. I go to a dojo. I do jiu-jitsu and other things.”
“Ah, I thought so. Even the way you wear your uniform is different. I remember when you fought before, you seemed really skilled. You must have learned a lot.”
Yuwon recalled seeing Hyun Gyujin in the hallway earlier, just as his friend Yoon Sung had mentioned. He did look more handsome, and he seemed taller and slightly leaner than before the vacation, which made him appear more intense. This look made his heart race the moment their eyes met.
“It would have been nice if we were in the same class…”
“You seem more disappointed than me.”
“It’s easier to become friends if we’re in the same class… I feel like Gyujin doesn’t really like me.”
“No… It’s not that. He’s just shy. He’s been like that since he was a kid. Even in kindergarten, when other kids tried to befriend him, he’d hide behind me even though he was taller.”
“Really? That must have been cute.”
“Yeah, very. He’s still cute sometimes, but he was even cuter back then.”
“He’s still cute now? How so?”
When Yoon Sung looked genuinely puzzled, Yuwon awkwardly laughed and brushed it off as a joke. It made sense that others wouldn’t see Hyun Gyujin’s cute side since he rarely showed it. He mostly displayed that side when he was with Yuwon, especially right before sleeping or when they were very close.
“But you did fight with Gyujin, right?”
“Huh?”
“I thought you two might have fought since you didn’t hang out during the vacation… and today, the atmosphere seemed tense.”
“Ah… no, we didn’t fight.”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
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“……”
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And without fail, he felt nervous. The sight of those eyes looking at him, that tall figure standing in front of him, and that slightly tilted, angry-looking face.
“……”
What should I do… I think I still like Hyun Gyujin. The now-familiar fluttering feeling quickly filled his heart.
* * *
After the morning encounter, Yuwon didn’t see Hyun Gyujin for the rest of the day. Although they had been in different classes before, this was the first time he hadn’t seen him at all, making him glance around the hallways and the cafeteria, but Hyun Gyujin was nowhere to be found.
When he walked home with Yoon Sung and parted ways at the crosswalk because their homes were in opposite directions, he felt drained. The morning encounter with Hyun Gyujin had been on his mind all day. He felt a mix of excitement and anxiety, worried that Hyun Gyujin might be angry while also thrilled to have seen his face again.
“……”
He resolved to greet him properly tomorrow, to explain that he hadn’t contacted him during the vacation because he missed the timing and felt awkward. Maybe then Hyun Gyujin would say something in return.
Yuwon trudged across the crosswalk and entered his apartment complex, wondering if he could become comfortable with Hyun Gyujin again. What if they never became comfortable again?
He walked to the elevator, sighing when he saw it was on the top floor. On days like this, the elevator always seemed to be at the top. Was there really something like Murphy’s Law? He watched the numbers drop one by one, leaning against the wall.
I’ll go to bed right after washing up today. I hope I can sleep through the night without waking up. Last night, I woke up too many times thinking about Hyun Gyujin. I’m tired… I just want to sleep well tonight…
“……”
Footsteps broke into his thoughts. He didn’t turn around, but his instincts kicked in. He straightened up and glanced over his shoulder to see who was behind him.
“Ah…”
“……”
The first thing he noticed was a chest. Then he recognized the school uniform, and reflexively, he looked up to meet Hyun Gyujin’s gaze.
The world seemed to spin. The few seconds their eyes met felt incredibly long. After not seeing him all day, his resolve to greet him vanished, and he could barely breathe.
“First floor.”
The sound of the elevator doors opening was accompanied by an announcement. Yuwon stepped aside slightly, feeling Hyun Gyujin’s gaze follow his movement.
“Get on, take the elevator,” Hyun Gyujin said.
“…….”
“I’ll take the stairs.”
“…….”
“I’m going… bye…”
Yuwon himself didn’t know why he said such things. Having waited for the elevator first, saying he’d take the stairs suddenly was embarrassing, and he wanted to escape the situation quickly. As he tried to sneak past Hyun Gyujin, who was staring at him silently with an incredulous expression, his body was abruptly pulled backward.
“Ah…!”
Hyun Gyujin had grabbed the back of Yuwon’s neck, pulling him into the elevator. Standing awkwardly in the corner, Yuwon could only watch as the elevator doors closed, feeling small in front of Hyun Gyujin’s towering presence. He had been practically shoved into the elevator.
“Talking nonsense about taking the stairs. Were you planning to crawl up from the third floor?”
“…It’s not that bad.”
“What’s wrong with riding the elevator together? Or do you just not want to be in the same elevator as me?”
“No… that’s not it. The words just slipped out.”
Seeing Yuwon’s head droop dejectedly made Hyun Gyujin momentarily forget the absurd remark he had heard earlier, instead finding the top of Yuwon’s head cute. Ah, it’s a disease. The disease of finding Jung Yuwon irresistibly cute. Hyun Gyujin resisted the urge to laugh, maintaining a blank expression as he lightly touched Yuwon’s chin with his fingertip. The sight of Yuwon’s reddening ears and flinching shoulders calmed him.
“Who told you to ignore me for two months?”
“It wasn’t on purpose… it just happened…”
“Well, at least you could have sent a message like ‘you didn’t contact me either.’ That would have been better.”
“…Why didn’t you contact me?”
“I just… let it happen too.”
Hyun Gyujin reached out and canceled the sixth-floor button. He looked down at Yuwon, who was fidgeting with his hands, and let out a small sigh. Even a slight movement from Yuwon brought the familiar, comforting scent he had missed for the past two months to Hyun Gyujin’s nose. He couldn’t even muster any irritation or anger; he just wanted to hold him close. The desire filled the entire elevator.
It’s possible for emotions to be bigger than your body. Breathing became difficult under the weight of his feelings. Hyun Gyujin glanced at the doors as they opened on the twelfth floor.
“…Why didn’t it stop at the sixth floor?”
“Good question.”
Hyun Gyujin, who had closed the doors without getting off, pressed the sixth-floor button again. He looked at Yuwon, who was still cornered and unsure of what to do.
“Anyone would think I’m bullying you.”
He moved aside to give Yuwon some space, listening to the soft, delicate breaths coming from him—a sound so light he wanted to hold it in his mouth.
Ah… I want to touch Jung Yuwon. I want to knead him like rice cakes with both hands and hold him close. I want to smell his scent and watch him gasp after a long kiss. I want to hug him so tightly he bursts, damn it. Then he’d seep into me completely.
Hyun Gyujin, stopping his increasingly perverted thoughts, watched Yuwon as he exited the elevator.
“…….”
As he leaned his back against the elevator wall, his eyes locked deeply with Yuwon’s. Just that look made him feel somewhat satisfied. His lower abdomen tightened as if he had been kissed.
“You asked if I’ve been well. I haven’t. Because of you. How about you? Jung Yuwon, did you have a good time?”
Caught off guard by the unexpected question, Yuwon met his gaze and shook his head slightly. His past vacation couldn’t be described as having been good. The absence of Hyun Gyujin had buried him in emotions he had never felt before.
“…No.”
“Good.”
“…….”
“Then that’s all I needed to hear. Go on in.”
As he stepped back and released the button, the door closed. Hyun Gyujin bit his lip as he recalled Yuwon’s head shaking in response to his question. Honestly, it would be right to wish the person he liked to have been well, but hearing that Yuwon had also struggled brought him relief. He didn’t care if it made him seem mean.
Good. It’s clear he hasn’t forgotten me. He couldn’t even look me in the eye, and his ears turned red when I touched his chin.
Feeling lighter, Hyun Gyujin entered his house, throwing his bag carelessly onto a chair and lying down on his bed. The room, which had felt like a hellish prison during those days filled with thoughts of Jung Yuwon, now seemed like heaven. Seeing Jung Yuwon in person was a thousand times better than just thinking about him. Hyun Gyujin lifted his hand, which had touched Yuwon’s chin, to his face.
“…….”
The warmth from Yuwon’s soft skin still lingered on his fingertips. Thinking about that soft and warm skin made his inner thighs tense. With a slight sense of guilt, he lowered his hand from his face. He knew he shouldn’t do such things, but he wanted to feel close to Yuwon somehow. Yuwon’s warmth transferred to the tip of his tongue, the comforting scent lingering in his nose, mixing with the heat in his lower abdomen. Embarrassed by his own actions, Hyun Gyujin covered his face with a pillow and, feeling the heat in his hand, unbuckled his school pants.
