Translators: phizzlepop, kurisu
Editor: mantou
T/N: kurisu from Whimsical Reads has already taken the time to go through the first twenty-ish chapters, so please send good vibes their way as well! we hope you guys enjoy~
Song Fei ran all the way back to his dormitory, then locked the door behind him right away. He didn’t dare to lean against the door, and ran straight to the sliding door of their balcony at the innermost part of the room before his legs crumpled, and he plopped right onto the ground.
The moment his bottom touched the ground, that kind of dreamy feeling like he was stepping on cotton was slightly alleviated at last.
The bed, the desk, the dirty clothes flung haphazardly over the back of the chair, the finished bowl of instant noodles that hadn’t been poured out… yes, this was his dorm room, the place where he’d studied and lived in for more than a year.
But what was that out there?
Song Fei didn’t know.
A terrorist attack? A biochemical crisis? They’d been taking a perfectly normal exam when a bunch of monsters had rushed in, those lunatics, then no one had bothered with taking the exam anymore, and everyone had scattered like mice… ha, wasn’t this the f*cking Arabian Nights. However, his leg had started to cramp.
Everything was so unrealistic.
Yet everything was also so real.
Song Fei endured his leg pain, and slapped himself with all of his strength!
Fantastic. Now both his leg and face were hurting together.
Song Fei still refused to be swayed, and struggled to stand up with great difficulty. He stamped his foot twice, slightly relieving the cramps. He slid open the balcony door, walked over to the sink, turned on the faucet, then stuck his head under it.
His head that was steaming hot from sprinting and working up a sweat was rinsed off under the bitingly cold water, thoroughly becoming an iced watermelon.
When Song Fei straightened up again, he felt like his whole head had become numb.
The face in the mirror was dull and pale, entirely drained of color, but was much cuter than those things that bit people whenever they saw them.
Song Fei blinked, and the pitiful face in the mirror also blinked. Song Fei bared his teeth, and the fool in the mirror also bared his teeth. Song Fei stroked his leg in somewhat of a daze. It wasn’t cramping anymore, but the lingering sensation of the cramp was still vivid and distinct.
It wasn’t a dream.
Or was he still inside a dream?
Taking a deep breath, Song Fei turned around and looked downstairs. He lived on the fourth floor. Peering over the balcony offered a panoramic view of the area below.
It wasn’t as devastating as the avenue. He was sure that many students had run back to hide in their dorm rooms just like him. At this time, at the foot of the dormitories, there were only about ten or so mutants— Song Fei didn’t want to call them students; those things were absolutely not his classmates at all! He didn’t know whether the other mutants had gone elsewhere or if they’d charged inside the dormitory building. At any rate, these were the only ones he could see right now. They were in groups of three to five, and actually, from an upstairs perspective, the only thing that could be seen was “a group of people gathered together”. But, Song Fei knew that some of them were attacking the students who’d fallen behind running here, while others were feasting together on students that had already been captured.
“What’s all the fuss about…” On a fourth floor balcony across from him, someone had also come out, wrapped in a blanket, hair disheveled and unkempt, gaze listless, clearly someone who’d just woken up from a dream at a glance.
Just when Song Fei wanted to respond, the other person had already followed the sounds to look down, his spirit instantly lifting as a result. He no longer covered himself with a blanket, and no longer yawned anymore, as he wore his underpants over there and exclaimed excitedly, “Aiyo, f*ck me, a group fight, hei!”
Song Fei held his forehead, not wanting to look at the picturesque scenery across from him any longer.
Downstairs, a mutant was currently hobbling its way through the door to the dormitories. Song Fei suddenly regained his senses, no longer caring whether he’d be blinded by his flashing or not, and anxiously shouted at Underpants-tongxue across from him, “Buddy, lock the door!”
Underpants-tongxue was currently watching the excitement with great interest, and hadn’t even realized that Song Fei was shouting at him, and even thought that someone was randomly yelling to cheer them on.
Yet another mutant entered the opposite building. Song Fei was burning with impatience, when an epiphany struck at this critical moment, “Student on the fourth floor across wearing the red briefs, f*cking lock your door quickly!!!”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
With the prerequisites restricted like this, the fool finally reacted. Underpants-tongxue subconsciously covered his crotch area, and finally made eye contact with Song Fei, “What the hell are you shouting about!”
“Ktbrf iecjalmr tjnf jigfjvs fcafgfv atf vbgwlabgs yelivlcu, delmxis ibmx sbeg vbbg!”
Pc atf wjif vbgwlabglfr, ktfc rbwfbcf kjr lc atf gbbw, obgufa ibmxlcu atf vbbg, wjcs bo atfw mbeivc’a fnfc yf mibrfv qgbqfgis, rb jii bo atfw kfgf pera mbcnfclfcais ifoa jpjg. Po atf weajcar o*mxlcu rfa atflg rlutar bc tlw, atfs mbeiv pewq tlw klatbea fnfc agslcu!
Underpants-tongxue tilted his head and frowned, looking innocently perplexed.
Song Fei also knew that unless someone had seen it with their own eyes, this couldn’t be explained properly within a short period of time. He was just feeling anxious, when he suddenly opened his mouth wide in horror, “Behind, behind you, watch out behind you!!!”
Perhaps Song Fei’s shout was much too fierce, but Underpants-tongxue abruptly turned back, and saw an unfamiliar student with outreached arms leaping towards him!
Underpants-xiong raised a hand, then firmly, accurately, and decisively caught the other’s arms, relying on absolute strength to impede the other’s menacing offense, “F*ck me, who are you ah, what’re you doing in my room, ai, don’t kiss me, you pervert ah—”
The mutant’s arms were restrained, and could only crane its head forward, obviously trying to bite him. Underpants-xiong didn’t understand, but instinctively resisted such intimate contact, and bent his waist as he kept dodging backwards. Soon, half of Underpants-tongxue’s body was basically hanging off the balcony.
Song Fei’s heart was practically about to jump out of his chest, when a lightbulb went off in his head, “Buddy, overhead kick!”
Underpants-tongxue really wished he could beat someone up remotely, “To hell with your kick, if I kick him down, then I’ll become a murderer!”
“Take a good look, he’s not a human at all anymore!”
“…”
Underpants-tongxue thoroughly gave up any desire of further communication.
F*ck, hadn’t he only slept in for a bit, did it merit this kind of punishment, waking up to an entire world gone insane?!
Song Fei was so anxious he was tugging at his hair, but putting himself in the other’s shoes, if he was that schoolmate across from him, it would also be impossible for him to readily accept everything in a short time with an “oh, turns out they’re not human, ah“. Unless he was crazy.
Underpants-tongxue didn’t look too imposing or burly, but he was by no means weak. After such a long standoff, the mutant actually couldn’t deal with him at all.
Song Fei’s eyes lit up, and he immediately changed his tune, “Don’t stay in a deadlock with him any longer, just push him out, push him out and lock the door!”
The suggestion sent flying his way finally had some feasibility. In fact, this suggestion didn’t involve much technique at all, but Underpants-tongxue had been nonplussed by this sudden situation, and the only thing he could remember was baseline, not breaking the law. At this time, Song Fei’s suggestion was like a lighthouse in the dark night, illuminating his gloomy voyage.
Without another word, Underpants-tongxue suddenly thrusted his head over the other’s, and slammed heavily against it!
This method of injuring the enemy by a thousand, but incurring a loss of eight hundred was really a competition to see who was less afraid to die. The facts proved that Underpants-tongxue had won.
The mutant probably couldn’t feel any pain, because his expression hadn’t changed in any way. But, the force of impact he’d experienced was assuredly real, and he staggered back several steps all at once, directly retreating from the balcony back into the room. Underpants-tongxue probably could feel pain, because just watching him grimace inspired pity, but his body didn’t hesitate for a single moment, and he immediately followed with a shoulder charge using all of his strength, ruthlessly ramming into the other’s chest!
The mutant could no longer stand steadily, and rapidly staggered back, and finally, after knocking down a chair, crashed to the ground face-up and arms flailing.
Song Fei could no longer see the situation inside, and vaguely saw that Underpants-tongxue seemed to have bent down. He could only anxiously shout in a hurry, “Don’t let him bite you! And don’t let anyone else in!”
In the end, Underpants-tongxue seemed to have dragged him out by his clothes. While dragging him out, the mutant apparently still want to struggle, but this kind of turtle-flipped-on-its-back position really hindered his counterattack.
Finally, Song Fei heard the sound of a door closing heavily.
His heart could finally fall back into place for now.
Soon, Underpants-tongxue returned to the balcony. Although he was more scared than hurt, there wasn’t anyone who wouldn’t be afraid after looking back on the scene just now. “What the hell? I am in our university dormitory, ba? Aren’t there the CET-4 and CET-6 exams today? Did they go crazy after failing the exam one too many times?”
It looked like he was spitting out whatever trivial things came to mind, but the other was actually just trying to calm himself down after being badly shaken up.
Song Fei understood. Let alone the other person who’d experienced a nightmare just now, even he, up until now, still couldn’t accept such a perverse plot and setting where the students went crazy and ate other people.
The mutants downstairs were already gone, and peace had returned after the hustle and bustle. It looked so tranquil and peaceful, just like the usual residential area. However, usually, if there was even a scrap of paper in the residential area public space, the cleaning auntie would lift her head and explode on the spot. Now, broken limbs and stumps could be seen everywhere, but the auntie hadn’t come out at all. The aunties in the residential area were just like the aunties in the plazas; if they were there, society was prosperous and stable; if not, think about it yourself, ba.
“Person across,” Underpants-tongxue realized that it was impossible for him to constructively deduce anything on his own, so he might as well seek outside assistance, “Come, enlighten me.”
Song Fei greatly admired him for still being able to remain so composed right now. But on second thought, he hadn’t seen the mutants eating people with his own eyes, so naturally, he wouldn’t be like him, who’d received an impact that was harrowing beyond belief.
As for the current situation, Song Fei was also confused, so it wasn’t as much of an enlightening, as a retelling, “When we were taking the CET-4, a bunch of students charged into the classroom like they’d gone crazy, pounced on anyone they saw, chewed on anyone they pounced on, and bit them, so we didn’t even finish our exams, and everyone just ran outside! I’m not lying to you, the education building is just like hell right now, with corpses littered everywhere…”
When he got to the end, the rims of Song Fei’s eyes suddenly heated up, and he stopped.
It was the sorrow of seeing his classmates die right in front of him. He wasn’t talking about a movie or something in the news, but something that’d actually happened in reality right next to him, that’d happened to the people who had a relationship with him. Even now, there were still the tragic sounds of wailing and screaming in his ears. Before, his fear had been too strong, and had covered everything else. Now, in the aftermath, these feelings were belatedly stirred up with his recollections.
The person on the other side was struck dumb, “You’re messing with me ba…”
Although he had some doubts, he also couldn’t doubt things with much confidence, because the bloodstained limbs downstairs were so dazzling that even if he hadn’t seen it personally, he could still imagine the horrendous process.
A cold wind blew by.
The shirtless Underpants-tongxue clearly should’ve been cold, but he seemed to have lost any and all sensation.
“Who the f*ck would still be in the mood to mess with you?” A familiar voice suddenly came from above Song Fei, “Zombies, you understand! A biochemical crisis, you understand! If it hadn’t been to preserve my life, would laozi not have handed in my paper!”
Looking up, there seemed to be a figure on the 640 balcony directly above him, but from this angle, Song Fei couldn’t see the other’s face.
But actually, he didn’t have to see it anyway.
This voice, this resentment, he’d recognize them even if he’d turned to ashes.
Underpants-tongxue frowned upon hearing this. It was certain that something had happened. Let alone the fact that there were two students testifying, even the one he’d just wrestled with hadn’t looked like he wasn’t sick. But talking about zombies or a biochemical crisis or whatever was just outright nonsense. “Could it be an infectious disease? Like SARS or the avian flu?”
Upstairs gave a snort of contempt: “Have you ever heard of an infectious disease that turns the infected into cannibals?”
“What about drugs?” Song Fei thought of the analysis comment below the Weibo post that Qi Yan had shown him before, “Drugs can cause people to hallucinate and become aggressive.”
Upstairs: “This many people taking drugs at the same time? Are the insides of the water pipes in our school mixed with cocaine?”
Song Fei was silent.
The sudden outbreak of a terrorist event was like a problem with no solution. Forget the answer, the topic itself was already outside their purview.
Qi Yan!
The figure who’d suddenly flashed through his mind made Song Fei’s heart tighten. He hurried back inside the room to grab his phone next to the bed, but soon tossed it aside again in frustration— there was still no signal.
Where was that guy now? Didn’t he say that he was going to eat lunch with him? Near the Zhiyuan building? The canteen? Or did he go to the library to kill some time? Or… had he also run back to the dorms?
Running dengdengdeng back onto the balcony, Song Fei shouted at the top of his lungs, “Qi Yan—”
Underpants-tongxue across and the greatly disgruntled Couldn’t Hand in his Paper-tongxue upstairs both gave a start. Was he f*cking summoning a spirit!
Since they were both second-years, Qi Yan’s dormitory was on the second floor of this building. But, even when the ear-piercing notes at the tail end of Song Fei’s call had almost disappeared into the air, there was still no response below.
Song Fei powerlessly sat down on the balcony. He was scared inside, but he tried to convince himself that maybe the other just hadn’t gone back to the dorms. Perhaps he’d run elsewhere to hide, or maybe he hadn’t even run into these mutants at all.
“Now what?” Underpants-tongxue and Couldn’t Hand in his Paper-tongxue had started chatting.
Couldn’t Hand in his Paper-tongxue had the strongest and most optimistic mindset, “What else can we do? Wait bei, so many people have died already, do you think the school can just not do anything about it? The president is probably crying over their statement right about now. ”
Underpants-tongxue: “What can they do, ah, capture all of these crazy students?”
Couldn’t Hand in his Paper-tongxue: “Well, that I don’t know, but it’s not like we can play Plants vs. Zombies every day, ba.”
Underpants-tongxue: “Whatever the hell this is, it’s already pretty abnormal, and meanwhile our phones still have no f*cking signal.”
Couldn’t Hand in his Paper-tongxue: “I wouldn’t be surprised no matter what happens this year.”
“Attention all students, attention all students—”
The campus PA loudspeakers suddenly sounded. Song Fei’s spirits lifted, and he also stood up.
“An accident has occurred during the CET-4 examination, interrupting the examination, and injuring a number of students. The injured students have already been sent to the hospital for treatment. May the students who have returned to their dormitories please lock their doors and windows. Without the school’s permission, it is strictly forbidden to leave on your own. May the students who have yet to return to their dormitories please locate safe shelter nearby, and refrain from running about to avoid causing unnecessary panic. Attention all students. May I repeat, an accident has occurred during the CET-4 examination…. ”
The announcement was repeated a total of five times.
By the time it was finally quiet again, Song Fei had almost memorized it.
“Okay, let’s wait, ba,” Underpants-tongxue picked up his blanket and put it back on again. This announcement really had a mind-calming, nerve-soothing effect, and he’d finally realized that it was cold, “I’m guessing that by this evening, the academic administration would’ve come over to express their sympathies.”
Couldn’t Hand in his Paper-tongxue also relaxed, then thought to fearlessly ask for the name of this warrior, “Hey, which department are you from?”
Underpants-tongxue very generously introduced himself, “Department of Mathematics, Luo Geng. You?”
Couldn’t Hand in his Paper-tongxue reciprocated in kind, “Department of Architecture, Zhou Yilu.” Once he finished, he then added a word of praise for the other, “Just now, those two moves of yours were pretty good ah, you’ve trained before?”
Luo Geng was airy and breezy, a heroic demeanor about him, and if he weren’t wrapped in a blanket, then he probably would’ve casually waved it off, “Nothing much, just a bit of military boxing la.”
Zhou Yilu’s expression collapsed, “The hell, that thing’s actually useful ah?”
“It depends on how you train. You can put on an act if you want, or you can do it for real if you’d like,” Luo Geng said this, paused a little, then looked over woefully, “but when you have to train for three years in a row, if you still don’t try to actually learn anything, then you’ll go insane from the boredom.”
Song Fei originally hadn’t wanted to get mixed up in this, but he couldn’t help it after hearing this, “Don’t only the first-years and second-years have to do it? Did you repeat a year? ”
Luo Geng rolled his eyes, “It’s because this brother did it too well, so the department wouldn’t let me off no matter what, ah!”
Song Fei understood. This was also the case in their department. The senior sisters and brothers who performed well in the past would be called back again after entering their third year to teach novices like them. Teaching alone wasn’t enough, and in the end, when it was time for their performance, these senior brothers and sisters also had to stand in front of the entire squad and lead, just like the exercise leaders for radio calisthenics.
Zhou Yilu sighed with emotion: “Looks like it’s true that if you become a bit proficient in a skill, you can protect yourself in a pinch ah!”
Song Fei sighed: “That also depends on what that skill is.”
Zhou Yilu: “Every skill has a situation it’s suited for, ba.”
Song Fei: “Not the Tai Chi fan!”
Author’s Chapter Summary:
The dormitory is just like my home, dependably keeping me safe and sound!
The translator has something to say: aiya, zombie perverts ah, plants vs. zombies ah, the world is a scary place~
P.S. I’ve tried to keep most of the translations understandable without TL notes with the exception of idiomatic expressions or adages that honestly have no English equivalent or anything even remotely similar. The TL notes are mostly just there for extra fun knowledge or if you’re confused and want to see the explanation. Please don’t feel like you have to read all of them and get bogged down by them instead of enjoying your reading experience!
Where are you Qi Yan? Your wifey is worried about you~~
SF uses: Summon QY!
Action failed.
ZYL + LG: 😮
Thanks for the chapter! ❤
thanks for reading!! <3
I didn’t expect a chapter for today. It has greatly surprised me! ٩(^ᴗ^)۶
Seems like Song Fei made new friends~ And they’re also very interesting. I’m looking forward to more of their interaction!
But just where is Qi Yan? QAQ They won’t be apart from each other for too long, right?
Thank you for the update 💜💜💜
lol ZYL cracks me up… honestly i’d be rlly salty too
and… soon!! 🙂
thanks for reading!!
What about our roommates, ah? Are they okay?
Thanks for the chapter <3
WQY!! missing him lots… love their entire roomie dynamic
thanks for reading!
Is it bad that I can actually see uses for the Tai Chi fan in the apocalypse? Poor Song Fei 🤣🤣 The characters introduced here are so fun lmao, one slept in all the way into the apocalypse (sth I can defo see myself doing if it happened irl ngl) and the other is still hung up over his exams even after running back to his dorms from the exam hall lololololol thanks for the chapter! :3
actually i think the tai chi fan can look rlly cool and be useful like in the wuxia movies, but i have a sneaking suspicion SF wont be doing that…
honestly such a realistic zombie apocalypse… i too would run back home if i were outside, but more likely than not i’d just wake up like ??? what’d I miss?
I like how SF was like, oh yeah, i remember him lol
thanks for reading!!
Thank you very much(◍•ᴗ•◍)❤❤️❤️❤️
thanks for reading! ☺
Funny characters. Forget chat groups! They can communicate together with balcony talk.
CultivationZombie University Chat Group!You can try to slap the zombies to death with your fan? xDDD
Thx for the ch ٩(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )و
def better than touching them… those zombie pervs… 😱
thanks for reading!
Poor guy suddenly having to fight in his underpants, must be cold~😂
LOL “you over there with the red briefs”
SF rlly did him dirty. wonder who else heard them hollering from inside their rooms…
It’s a little weird that the zombie isn’t banging on that Luo Geng’s door right now and that them talking on the balcony isn’t attracting more zombies.
them yelling intros across buildings had me worried. esp SF hollering for QY, aiya, cold sweat, cold sweat
Right??
Thank you for the chapter 😘
The architecture student reminded me of university where we also talked about sudden zombie apocalypse. We’re from the engineering department and almost all of us said we will run to the materials laboratory since it’s a room full of equipment and tools we use. There’s plenty of solid things in there that could wak a person or two. Also, it’s a secure place since those things eats up budget.
The first thing he actually called is the ML and not his friends I don’t know if I should laugh or criticize him ah. Should I put a laughing emoji here so someone won’t attack me? 😂😂😂
Why am i laughing my ass off this whole chapter