Tang Wan put the camera aside. Preparing to cook, he wore protective sleeves and released the raccoon. “Xi Shua Shua, can you help Daddy wash vegetables?”
For Xi Shua Shua, there wasn’t anything that couldn’t be solved by washing it in water. If there was, then it would only have to be washed another two times. As a raccoon who liked water more than his peers, Xi Shua Shua had developed an all-encompassing skill. Not to mention dishes, even socks could be washed clean!
The little fellow was fat and strong, and the most powerful thing was that a chubby body could also be very dextrous. It picked up the basin and cheerfully went to go fetch water. Xi Shua Shua’s fur ranged from grey-brown to nearly black, with black around the eyes and very symmetrical left and right fur colors. Two furry ears perked up and looked a little bit like a big grey-furred fox. Especially on the fluffy tail, there were many rings of black and white fur. While it was working, its tail shook a few times; like a child who was working hard, it was very lovely. Tang Wan was very happy to see it. He stuffed an apple into its mouth and encouraged it, “You’re doing very well!”
Xi Shua Shua was happy and both of its’ paws were very busy and splashed water all over itself.
The audience was all amused and shouted at Tang Wan to open the touch function, they wanted to touch a wet raccoon!
Unfortunately, Tang Wan was cooking and didn’t see their demands.
The meat dishes needed to be stewed slowly and carefully. Tang Wan, a genuine person from Earth, preferred traditional methods. He wasn’t familiar with high-tech cooking equipment, and the meat stewed slowly over a gentle fire tasted different from that cooked by high-tech equipment.
Tang Wan could eat a bit of sliced soy sauce beef. He liked it soft, so he had to stew it for more than an hour and a half. Braised bones were Zong He’s favorite; Tang Wan figured that the other probably ground his teeth in his sleep. Every time he ate meat, it was chewy, so it only needed to be stewed for an hour. Tang Wan wouldn’t eat mutton. He didn’t like the smell of it, but he made it according to Zong He’s preferences. Now, cattle and sheep weren’t the cute little things that they had eaten back on Earth. They had become incomparably enormous and it took a lot of effort to catch them.
Tang Wan first stewed the beef, then dealt with the bones and mutton. By this time, the raccoon had almost finished washing the vegetables. Tang Wan watched the little fellow work hard and fed him some dried jerky. The little raccoon was an omnivore and ate everything, making it easy to raise. Unfortunately, its temperament was often too naughty and frequently jumped up and down, so not many people raised them at home.
Xi Shua Shua took the jerky out of its mouth, rinsed it with water, and stuffed it back into its mouth. The whole thing was done smoothly, and the audience laughed and tossed gifts; this action was so delightful!
While Tang Wan was ready to make the marinated ribs, he chatted with everyone, “This is a famous dish familiar to many of Earth’s Chinese people. There is an interesting story about this dish’s origins. Legend has it that there was a famous monk named Jigong in the Southern Song Dynasty. He went to a butcher’s door and asked for money. The boss said that he had just opened the shop so there wasn’t any money to give, but he could give him a piece of meat. After the monk finished eating, he asked the boss for another piece and he gave it to him. After the monk finished eating that, he asked for yet another piece. The boss was unhappy and asked him what he could sell after he finished eating. The monk replied that if there was no meat, then he could just sell the bones. He pulled out several cattails from the cattail fan he carried with him and gave it to the boss. He told the boss to put the cattail stems in with the pot of meat and stew it together. He said that it would certainly become world-famous.” Tang Wan smiled and asked, “If it were you, would you have listened to the monk?”
All of the audience said that they wouldn’t, who would listen to a passerby’s casual words?
Tang Wan nodded, “Yes, I wouldn’t have believed it either, but the boss did. He really threw those cattails into the pot. Unexpectedly, the meat was so fragrant that the whole city of Wuxi could smell it. From then on, the butcher began to specialize in the marinated ribs, and later it became a famous local specialty, the Wuxi marinated ribs.”
The audience had nothing to say, was this also okay?!
Tang Wan laughed and told them, “This is just a legend and the truth remains a mystery.”
When everyone heard this, they were quite confused and stupefied. They thought of it as a story; after all, Earth had long since become a deserted planet and wasn’t suitable for humans to live on. How many civilizations had inhabited it? Only the descendants of those who emigrated from Earth were likely to care even a little. In most people’s eyes, after years of change, how many planets would become like Earth? Lost in the corners of the galaxy, Earth was just one of them.
Tang Wan took out the pork ribs, which had been salted ten minutes ago, then placed them into sizzling oil, and fried them to a golden color. The audience’s eyes were attracted to the golden pork ribs and crazily sought the taste function from Tang Wan. Following their demands, Tang Wan opened the taste and touch functions, and many audience members began to howl: smells good, smells good, we want to eat!
Although every time this happens I am envious and jealous, I still have to work overtime at noon and can only drink the nutrient solution!
I always thought my cooking was delicious until I came across the studio!
Our old ancestors ate better than we do! Why should we have to be born 1000 years after the immigration?
Old ancestors, I want to return to Earth!
Tang Wan didn’t have time to read the comments. He left some oil on the bottom of the pan, placed some ginger slices in, added in scallion, star anise, and ground cinnamon. He poured in the water, placed the ribs in, and reminded them, “At this time, we must pour in hot water, because the raw ribs will shrivel if placed in cold water and won’t taste good.”
The comments were all howling; no matter what Tang Wan said, they had already been touched by the fragrance. They only wanted to eat!
Tang Wan was helpless, this group of underfed goblins!
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
The little racoon beside him had washed all of the vegetables, sat on the table, and vigorously gnawed on some turnips. He ate more energetically than Luo Bei. Tang Wan reminded it, “Eat a little less, I’ll give you some delicious food later.”
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The audience was curious: Are Dragon Pearls the eyes of dragons? What are dragons? Earthworms? Geckoes?
“This Dragon Pearl ah isn’t the eye of any animal. It’s like the Dong Bi Longan we eat, a kind of fruit. This dish also contains literary allusions.”
The audience went silent and concentrated on the stories. Tang Wan could not only cook and care for cats, but he was also knowledgeable and talented, and knew how to tell many stories.
Tang Wan smiled and said, “Someone told them to me, but I had forgotten who it was.”
The audience that was all settled down and ready to listen to the story: Our pants are all already off, you told us just that?!
Tang Wan turned his back and pretended not to see them. The audience was very spirited: Pretended! To be blind! Again!
At this time, the stout director of the Network Management for the Imperial Center for Gene Safety asked the staff members who were watching Tang Wan’s live broadcast, “What have you seen happen? Can you recognize what species of cub that animal is?”
The staff member was surprised, “No.”
The stout supervisor frowned. “What do you see then?”
The staff member quickly picked up the receiver and explained, “We see him cooking, it’s too fragrant!”
The supervisor rapped his knuckles against the table, in a bad mood. “Work hard, with so many people complaining, there must be something wrong with it. We firmly oppose this kind of enslaving of cubs. It’s a felony to alter genes, we must check carefully! Look at that eating cub!” The supervisor pointed at the raccoon and said righteously. “If it’s really a cub who has taken medicine, he’s committing a crime! Even if there is a slight possibility, we must strictly check him. There can’t be any delay!”
The staff member hurried to take the receiver with them and said solemnly, “We will definitely observe this host. If there’s any problem, we will contact the StarNetwork and freeze his broadcast. If he still doesn’t cooperate, we’ll tell the Imperial Army to catch him!”
Only then did the supervisor smile, “That’s right.”
Tang Wan had minced the pork and shrimp into paste and placed it in a bowl. He also mixed in shallots, ginger, mushrooms, salt, MSG, sugar, egg whites, starch, and cooking wine. He let it marinate for a little while.
At this time, the audience used the touch function to poke at the meat stuffing and licked their fingers. The taste of raw meat made their hair stand up on end: It tastes too bad!
This time, Tang Wan could read the comments but didn’t know whether to laugh or cry: “Don’t be too impatient, it’s still raw.
The audience’s comments rolled in: I’ve never seen such a complicated way of cooking. When I make dishes, I boil them in water and then fish it out, that kind. Just like those vegetable dishes.
Our family is the same, my mother says that it preserves nutrition.
Seriously, my mother’s cooking isn’t good but I don’t dare to say it. I was frightened!
The chef we hired isn’t good at cooking, but what he made was nutritious.
Don’t say anymore, is there a meal worse than our school canteens’? Do you dare want fried beans with crisp melon?
Oh, my brother upstairs, you’ve won.
Tang Wan laughed and said to everyone, “This is a very simple dish. Once, there were several famous dishes on Earth that were difficult. Those were complicated. Take the Mad Monk, for example. Dozens of processes need to be done and it takes several days to complete. Naturally, the taste doesn’t have to be mentioned.
The audience began to howl again: I hate that I wasn’t born on Earth a thousand years ago!
Our old ancestors ate better than we do!
Tang Wan put the marinated stuffing into the steamer, steamed it, then removed it. He shelled the longan, opened a small hole in the fruit’s flesh, removed the pit, and replaced it with some stuffing, before sealing the opening over it. This became the stuffed longan. He then dipped it into the flour, egg mixture and breadcrumbs. “This is the Dong Bi Dragon Pearl.”
The audience was stunned: How can we bear to eat it?!
Tang Wan said earnestly: “Part with it, I’ll eat it myself.”
The audience asked: What about the meat?
Most beastmen were carnivorous and were extremely interested in meat.
Tang Wan raised his eyebrow and huffed, “I want my partner to gain 300 kilograms.”
Some of the audience thought that Tang Wan was too ruthless. How heavy was 300 kilograms? Could they still walk? Was he afraid of his partner running away?
Others didn’t believe it. Did he really have a partner? Really? No kidding? Tang Tang sometimes spoke in a very serious manner, which blurred the lines between the truth and lies.
Still, others were envious and jealous. If they could find a partner like Tang Wan, they could have different meals every day and different furry meng pets. They could die happily!
Tang Wan turned the fire on again, heated the oil, and poured the ‘Dragon Pearls’ in. When they turned golden, he took them out and drained the oil. “Like this, they would be considered done. Now I’ll blanch vegetable leaves with boiling water and set the dish.”
The comments exploded: I can’t stand it, what I eat everyday are for the sake of those vegetables!
The color and luster is so beautiful, with one look you can see that it’s crisp and clear.
It’s too fragrant, I want to take a bite. It’s a real pity that I can’t eat it. QAQ
After Tang Wan laid out the dishes, the beef, mutton, and marinated ribs were all ready. He placed them all in big bowls. Considering the amount of food his family’s large cat ate, Tang Wan made a lot and used a bowl so large it was almost a pot!
As soon as the fragrances wafted around, there was only one reaction left in the studio: ! ! !
That was really what they said! !
“With two more vegetable dishes, lunch will be done.” Tang Wan checked the time. It was almost noon and Zong He should be back soon. He didn’t know if they had some kind of tacit understanding, but as soon as the thought arose, he heard footsteps outside of the door. Military boots rang out against the ground, firmly and forcefully.
Tang Wan turned around with a smile and looked at the man who had just come through the door. “The food is ready. You can go change first, we can eat later.”
The corners of Zong He’s mouth hooked up and he said, “Okay.”
Just with that short word, Tang Wan suddenly gained a sense of stability. Once upon a time, he wanted to have a normal home. They could have a mutual understanding and their own ways of communicating. But they must eat at least one meal together every day; he didn’t want a large table with one person, cold and lonely. When they rested, they would read together quietly and occasionally take a walk together. He didn’t demand too much. He could live a life of satisfaction like this.
Tang Wan quickly fried the two vegetables and gave the little raccoon a bowl of meat meant for cats to eat he had bought from the system. He told it: “Eat it directly, don’t wash it.”
Xi Shua Shua turned it over in its hands and soaked it in water.
Tang Wan frowned. This child was already hopeless.
Tang Wan had already plated the dishes. He held his tongue and gave the audience a wave. Let them smell and howl again. Tang Wan was satisfied, “Very good, today’s live broadcast ends perfectly.”
Just when everybody’s eyes were gathered in the live broadcasting studio because of Tang Wan’s words, the studio’s screen suddenly turned black. Tang Wan frowned and looked closer. His face darkened; he was banned!
The audience was also confused, what was going on?
There had been no sign at all, and suddenly, they were banned!
Why?! There was no reason!
Tang Wan calmly opened his Weibo. Sure enough, he had received a notice two seconds ago: From many reports, you are now suspected of the illegal use of drugs, the illegal detention of cubs, mutilation of Imperial minors, and other felonies. Please take the initiative to contact the Imperial Department of Gene Security for the genetic testing of all pets within an hour. If the time is exceeded, it will be regarded as evasion of responsibility. You will be arrested in accordance with the law. —— Imperial Department of Gene Security.
Tang Wan read it and smiled angrily. If he really sent them, they might not even come back. Maybe even if he went in himself, they would take him to be a clueless fool.
In his previous life, he had been born into a rich and powerful family. From a young age, he had seen his family dance around many issues. He couldn’t stand their indifference, and left the family because of his relatives manipulating each other. He lived alone; he could very clearly see these kinds of heartbreaking things.
Tang Wan took off his gloves and dropped them onto the table. It was obvious that someone was trying to get him into trouble. So many people had reported him, why hadn’t they done so before? If he knew who was behind it, he would definitely buy a snake and stuff it into the bastard’s bed in the middle of the night to scare them into infertility!
Zong He changed his clothes and arrived at the dining room. When he saw Tang Wan’s expression, his face also turned cold. “What’s wrong?”
Tang Wan took a deep breath and said calmly, “Someone shut down my broadcast. They said that my pets were cubs who had taken illegal drugs. The Imperial Department of Gene Security asked me to send my pets over to be examined. Let’s have dinner first, this situation certainly won’t be over soon.”
After Zong He sneered, he snorted. “Even if we eat, it won’t stop them. It’s as if we’re dead to them.”
Tang Wan had already calmed down. He even had the impulse to pat Zong He’s head and run his fingers through his hair.
Tang Wan had guessed correctly. At that time, the supervisor was currying favor with the second young master of the Marquis’ family. “You can rest assured, I have already contacted the StarNetwork’s Cyber Security Department and shut down his broadcast. Let him hand those pets in today. If the cubs really had consumed illegal drugs, then he will be legally responsible. There are so many people reporting and questioning him now. We have to take responsibility and make a thorough investigation! It must be clear to him that the arrangements were proper.”
Alvin narrowed his eyes. He already knew what to do. “Good performance. When there’s an opportunity for promotions, I’ll mention to my brother-in-law that you’re a capable manager.”
“Thank you for your trust!” The supervisor launched into another round of flattery and comfortably patted the second young master. The young master’s sister was the Head of Gene Security’s new wife. Her younger brother just wanted a few pets, and he could get them with a little finger movement. Was there a difference between flattering him and flattering the Head?
As this time, Tang Wan’s Weibo was a mess. The Imperial Gene Security Department’s charges were too heavy: illegal use of drugs and the forced detention and mutilation of young Empire cubs. It was enough for Tang Wan to be sent to prison. And now that his broadcast had been shut down, which made people think harder about it. There hadn’t been any problems at all before this, what had he done wrong? The shut down came just after Tang Wan’s live broadcast, while countless viewers were watching. As soon as it happened, the audience moved to Tang Wan’s Weibo.
They were all saying: Is it real? Is it fake? Is this too bad?
Could it be that the ones I praised before were cubs that had changed form after taking illegal drugs? Too terrible! My hands tremble at the possibility.
If it’s true, then I’ll throw my money at a domesticated animal!
Calm down, no one has said anything yet. It’s just cooperating with the investigation.
What else is there to say? It’s all been shut down. If it was okay, there’d be no need to shut it down. If it’s still shut down after the results of the investigation, then there really would be a problem!
No wonder he never dared to show his face, it was because he was committing a crime.
What evidence do you have to prove that these animals are drugged cubs? You can be held legally responsible for defamation.
It’s not defamation, it’s questioning. What evidence do you have to prove that these animals aren’t drugged cubs? Has the Gene Security Department proved his innocence?
Some people worried about Tang Wan, some believed it, and some scolded him, saying that he was a scumbag who had concealed his true nature and had finally received his retribution. Still others acted as the incarnations of the guardians of justice, though they still didn’t understand what had really happened. They had already decided that Tang Wan was really suspected of those crimes. They must pay attention to the developments and send Tang Wan to the trial bench.
Tang Wan had enough to eat and drink. He took the tea that the robotic housekeeper handed to him and rinsed his mouth. He leisurely went online; the Imperial Gene Security Department had issued him an ultimatum and he still had half an hour left to think about it.
At that moment, Zong He’s communications device ding’d. The sequence of events were all clarified and all the people involved were detailed in the report. Zong He glanced and his eyes grew colder. “They’re too unrestrained！”
Tang Wan heard this and blinked. He tapped his fingers against the virtual keys. ‘Eating, sleeping, and scolding Da Zhuang’ @ Imperial Gene Security Department: Sorry, I have too many pets. You won’t finish checking them all, you can have someone come over to my home to check them. Address: β Ursae Minoris Special Security Zone, Imperial Army Marshal Zong He’s Mansion, mua mua ^_^
Sorry for the later chapter! This one was almost double the length of the normal one and I don’t like chopping chapters in half. ๑•́ㅿ•̀๑) ᔆᵒʳʳᵞ