Xia Yan’s glabella wrinkled. In the end, he really couldn’t listen to any more of Ning Can’s words. “I’ll restrain myself. If some time had passed, perhaps I could…”
These words were contrary to his convictions that he couldn’t finish it.
Still dumbstruck, Ning Can repeated his question. “You love me?” He raised his voice on the last word.
Xia Yan felt a bit agitated upon seeing that look. “I know that you can’t forgive me. I can’t forgive myself, either.”
It was because I love you.
This undesirable feeling had spelled an end to their friendship which had been built from childhood ‘till now such that nothing remained the same anymore.
He was the main culprit, he truly knew, but…
If people could control their own hearts, would there be so much pain?
Ning Can kept his body unmoved as he stared at Xia Yan. Eventually, he asked in a different way, “The reason why you did that to me four years ago was because… because you…”
Ning Can didn’t know why, but all of sudden, he couldn’t say the word.
A blast of heat he had never felt before rushed towards his throat, making him feel stifled and turned red in the face.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
Xia Yan laughed at himself. “Otherwise?”
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Wlj Tjc kjr rajgaifv. “Efajiljaf jujlcra sbe?”
“Kt-atja’r gluta…” Rlcu Jjc aglfv ab rbga bea tlr mjgfogff ibulm. “P agfjafv sbe jr j kbwjc, P fnfc aglfv ab xlrr sbe, rb lc j ola bo qldef, sbe…”
Xia Yan turned angry because of Ning Can’s words he smiled. “If I was angry, shouldn’t I have beaten you up instead?”
Xia Yan did lose his self-control that time, but he wasn’t angry. He just felt really, really disappointed. He had been silently enduring his deep affection for years without finding any solutions. When Xia Yan thought about how Ning Can would belong to someone else, how that drunk and muddle-headed Ning Can would get intimate with someone else, his heart hurt so much he lost his mind and did something past praying for.
Ning Can stammered as he said in whispers, “How did you like me…”
He kept on repeating these words as if he had heard some extraordinary news. His mind was completely filled with shock and incomprehension.
Xia Yan didn’t want to be entangled with Ning Can anymore.
It took him four years of effort to get used to his life now, he didn’t want it to be disrupted again.
Xia Yan was’t confident whether he could go through another four years like this.
“Which is why, please stay away from me,” Xia Yan seemed to be warning himself. “I don’t want to disgust you any further.”
When he finished saying these words, Ning Can suddenly raised his head and said, “Don’t say such bad thing about yourself.”
Xia Yan was dumbfounded.
In the past, in the countless days when they still got along with each other, whenever Xia Yan said something bad about himself, Ning Can’s reaction would always be that impassioned.
He was like a hen protecting her chick. No one was allowed to abuse Xia Yan, not even Xia Yan himself.
In the past, Xia Yan would feel warmth upon being treated like that, but now he only felt pain all over his heart.
This kind of brotherhood was the culprit which had pushed him deep into the abyss.
Xia Yan sighed softly and said, “Now go, Ning Can, please go away.”
Ning Can responded after a long time, “I didn’t know you love me.”
Xia Yan didn’t want to guess what Ning Can was thinking about. “It doesn’t matter, it is over.”
Ning Can knitted his brows, his voice somewhat shaky when he said, “So…you don’t love me anymore?”
Xia Yan became infuriated because of his words. He gazed at Ning Can and said, “How many times do I have to repeat myself? Ning Can, I love you. It’s not the kind of love between children, it’s the one where I want you all to myself, it’s the kind of love where I want to be together with you forever!”
Ning Can was confused again.
Xia Yan felt weak upon finishing his words. He said, “Please go away. Consider this as me begging you. Please don’t make me…”
Ning Can was still talking to himself, “I thought you hated me.”
Xia Yan raised his lips in a mocking way.
Ning Can blurted out the words which couldn’t be dismissed from his mind even though he pushed through it, joked about it, doing everything he could to forget it, “I thought you hated me. At that time…you said you hated me, you said you don’t want to see me anymore, so I went abroad.”
It was the most painful moment in Ning Can’s life.
When he woke up after being drunk and confused, Ning Can felt a sharp pain ripping his body apart. The person he cherished the most looked at him with such fierce eyes. Adding up more to his pain, he said that he hated him.
——Xia Yan disliked Ning Can.
——Xia Yan hated Ning Can.
For Ning Can, who had everything going smoothly, this was as good as the sky collapsing.
The author has something to say:
I’ll help to make it clear for Xia Yan. Four years ago, he thought he himself was crazy, but actually, Ning Can was so drunk he became dishonest. Xia Yan thought about this and that was like this and that, so in the end…he committed adultery (shut up, would you!).
Please forgive me for the super late update. Things got messy here in my end and I’m trying my best to get back to it. I’m terribly sorry once again, but please expect the chapters to be uploaded hours forward.
Also, I’ll get back to commenting again, though I don’t think I’ll reply to comments from, say, months ago anymore, because I’m not sure if the one who commented it was still waiting for an answer… Really sorry about that. My bad really.