Translated by Elestrea
Edited by Amaris
By the time Gong Qin was able to say ‘mama’, his mother went back to France.
This Chinese-French woman couldn’t stand her husband’s □□, she didn’t even want a son.
From childhood to adulthood, Gong Qin had always been outstanding.
Not the usual ‘outstanding’, but shocking-beyond-his-age ‘outstanding’.
He always took first place in the exams. He satisfied all of his father’s requirements until he finally surpassed his father, replacing him.
Extreme self-discipline made his life feel like a pool of stagnant water.
The only accident (in his life) was He Ling.
He Ling rushed in inexplicably. Just like a golden knife, he tore open his life and brought him infinite radiance.
Gong Qin had never seen such a dazzling person, nor had he seen such an unrestrained man.
They were a complete opposite; like light and darkness, black and white.
Gong Qin liked He Ling, he liked everything about him.
Because of these, he yearned for something he couldn’t have.
When He Ling confessed to him…
For the first time in his life, Gong Qin experienced the feeling called joy.
After marriage, Gong Qin seemed to be dreaming every day.
When he woke up in the morning, He Ling would kiss him.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
Before going out, He Ling would kiss him.
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He Ling’s love was like a blazing sun, wrapping Gong Qin and bringing him an unimaginable warmth.
Gong Qin was used to being alone. Suddenly being together, there were many things that needed adjustments.
He was not used to talking during meals, but he would try to chat with He Ling. Unfortunately, he could only talk about dry and boring works.
He wasn’t used to being intimate in front of people, but inside the car, he would let He Ling kiss him when the driver couldn’t see.
He wasn’t used to taking a bath with other people, but after He Ling insisted on it twice, Gong Qin found someone to change (their bathtub with) a large square bathtub, so the two of them wouldn’t need to squeeze in.
Gong Qin also didn’t like He Ling fooling around in the office, but after He Ling did it twice, he replaced the single bed in the lounge with a double bed.
Sometimes Gong Qin felt that He Ling was too willful.
But soon enough he couldn’t help but smile ——
Gong Qin yearned for his willfulness, and if he could, he hoped He Ling would be able to do as he pleased for the rest of his life.
It was just that he didn’t think because He Ling did whatever he pleased, he would no longer want him.
Gong Qin didn’t know what had happened or why.
They had been together for seven years. They had never quarreled, never been in a disagreement, and had never separated.
Gong Qin was used to it.
He was used to the kiss in the morning, used to the kiss before going out, and used to seeing him at noon and in the afternoon.
But all of a sudden, they were all gone.
He didn’t know which day, but He Ling changed.
Gong Qin perceived He Ling’s estrangement, sensed his gaze, and felt his scrutiny.
Gong Qin felt like there was a thorn in his back, and his nerves were very tense.
He hadn’t felt like this for a long time. Gong Qin hadn’t felt this way ever since he met He Ling and they got married.
It was as if someone was staring at him, watching him, and accusing him from afar.
Gong Qin hated this feeling. He wanted to talk to He Ling.
He went home early and waited at home, forcing himself to do nothing but wait for He Ling to come back.
But, as time passed, He Ling came home later and later.
What should I do?
Immense fear took over Gong Qin’s heart and dragged him into the pitch-black abyss.
Until that day, he saw He Ling together with a young boy.
At this moment, Gong Qin suddenly understood.
He Ling hadn’t changed, he was still the same, he was still following what his heart desired ——
He Ling followed his heart to not love him anymore, and he followed his heart to fall in love with another man.
When He Ling asked him to divorce…
Gong Qin was not surprised. He already knew for a long time that this was bound to happen.
He Ling took a long time to open his mouth, and he already looked very reluctant.
Gong Qin didn’t want to force him.
He, after all, was also a man, there was no need to be a nuisance to He Ling.
Gong Qin left, walking in a world filled with ice and snow, walking while recalling the seven years’ worth of memories.
And then…
He broke down.
He couldn’t walk or even move his legs.
The recollection of two people walking hand-in-hand became the last straw that crushed him.
Why?
Why?
Why is it like this?
If you couldn’t be faithful until the end, why did you promise ‘for the rest of our lives’…
Gong Qin had believed it, nevertheless, He Ling still changed in the end.
Gong Qin felt the freezing cold, as if he had returned to that snowy night, watching his mother leave and could only call ‘mama’ helplessly.
At that time, Gong Qin understood that his plea could never be heard.
No matter how much you yelled at her, no matter how you called her, it was useless.
He was an adult, he was no longer a child like that time. He wouldn’t be so helpless to beg for the warmth that didn’t belong to him.
But…
He wasn’t reconciled.
Even if he knew that it would be useless, even if he knew that it would make him badly battered, even if he knew that it would make him lose his final dignity…
When Gong Qin saw He Ling, he still broke through the shackles in his heart and asked him, “…Why don’t you want me?”
One more chapter for this story!
It’s too early for me for all these tears 😭😭😭😭😭 Please communicates and be happy you two!!
Thanks for the chapter ❤
Thank you
Screaming noises
Why are they all precioussssssss~ (((o(T ^ T)o)))
My heart can’t take this.
I wanna hug little Gong Qin so badly 😢😢😢
Fuck! every chapter i cry! I can see why this was your favourite!
You should make a warning in the intro.
Now I…
Ah, whatever.
Thanks for the update 😭😭😭💔💔💔
Warning: keep tissues by your side at all times. All short stories would hurt you but the HE will help you heal after you’ve been stabbed a few times…
That Gong Win was truly a parasite, taking and taking and never giving anything in return…
Autocorrect….
Gong Qin
From the few clues we’ve gathered from other peoples comments “about him being like a robot” and his brief retelling of his past while growing up, he is most likely not as emotionally mature as either his husband or most other people, and more likely then not, doesn’t quite knows how to respond back to He Long affections.
There probably wasn’t that much affection from his family or home life while growing up, so he seems to be emotionally stunted in, what we would believe to be normal, and natural social ques. 🙂
Sorry for ranting. I h ope you didn’t take offense, seeing as I only wanted to offer you another point of view. 😅
No offense, sounds fair.
I will also add my part!
Although he indulged in the affection and didn’t respond with the same intense love, he did try to change his “only myself” habits, as stated above.
He could have been spoiled and done nothing, but he chose to change little things like the tub, dinner chats (which is pretty sad to eat without someone to talk to) and public demonstration of affection.
Someone who never received nor expressed their feelings can’t be expected to be as passionate, you can only wait for them to adapt like a little kid learning to read.
😭😭😭😭😭😭
Thank you for the chapter!!
(╥╯^╰╥) ( ＿ ＿)ノ｜
It hurts, to think of someone who changes but actually he hasn’t changed at all. One wants him to state his feelings honestly, and the other is too aloof to express his feelings 😭😭
In the end, the problem was a break down in communication. Neither of these idiots could sit each other down and talk instead of making these… stupid assumptions about how the other feels.
I just reread this, but it is my imagination or there is some garbled sentences in the middle of this chapter?
Thats weird. It disappear when i refreshing this. Oh well
Hi. I’ve been crying since the start of this short story. What the heckity.
this is so saaaaad QAQ thank u for the chapter!!
This author is superb and the translator too. Because each story used very short and concise sentence, but it is very direct. So in angsty moment, it really made you either teared up or fully cried down your own memory lane.
Having childhood issues does not justify your poor behaviour towards a partner you supposedly love. What the heck. This is reminiscent of the way many abusers have also used their past as a leash on their victims.