Translator: phizzlepop
Editor: mantou
NB: Please read the TW first if you need to!
TW
TW: suicide attempt, suicidal ideation
If you’d like to skip these portions, the horizontal line break will signify all the spots to skip through with another TW Summary dropdown at the end with a brief summary of events.
Lu Xiuwen had been awake from the time Ye Ming had gotten up. He originally hadn’t fallen asleep anyway, and had just pretended to be asleep… because he hadn’t wanted Ye Ming to see that he was unhappy. This child was so silent it made his heart ache. He couldn’t push him too far.
He knew that Ye Ming was in the bathroom, so he waited outside. Normally, Ye Ming would often wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom by himself and stay inside for a long time. Occasionally, there’d be muted sounds of sobbing. Lu Xiuwen hadn’t dared to open the door in fear of disturbing him.
Only this time, time seemed to pass by very slowly. Ye Ming was still inside and hadn’t come out.
Lu Xiuwen was originally not an indecisive person. But this time, he was actually hesitating over the trivial matter of whether he should push open the door or not. He was afraid he’d agitate Ye Ming, and was worried about embarrassing him.
Lu Xiuwen waited for a while longer, but there still wasn’t any movement from inside the bathroom. Finally, his anxiety managed to prevail over everything else, so Lu Xiuwen stood up and softly knocked on the door. There was no response from inside, silent as though no one was there.
Lu Xiuwen didn’t know why, but there was an ominous premonition in his heart. At last, he pushed the door open. In the next moment, the look on his face suddenly changed.
Ye Ming lay in the bathtub, blood flowing down from his wrist, dying the entire ground red.
This scene put Lu Xiuwen in a daze, and he almost couldn’t stand straight. The whole world seemed to be collapsing bit by bit. He rushed over unsteadily, pulled off his clothes, and tightly tied them around Ye Ming’s wrists. Then, he picked him up and rushed downstairs.
In his arms, he held a fragile person who seemed as though he would disappear at any moment. Even though he was physically holding onto him, right now, he could truly feel that this person was close to disappearing from his world.
Why had he hesitated, why hadn’t he gone in earlier to take a look?
Lu Xiuwen had never hated himself so much.
TW Summary
Ye Ming attempted suicide and was found in the bathtub by Lu Xiuwen.
Ye Ming was sent to the hospital for emergency treatment. The doctor said that if it’d been just a little while later, then he would’ve been beyond saving.
Lu Xiuwen stood outside the ward and lit a cigarette. Normally, he hardly ever smoked, but this time, his hand lighting the cigarette was trembling slightly. Ye Ming almost died… if he had to watch him die, then he might as well just let him live on in some corner of this world.
He understood this in his heart, but there still seemed to be a heart-gouging, bone-piercing pain.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
Lu Xiuwen took a deep breath, threw the cigarette butt into the trash can, then turned around and walked into the hospital ward.
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He wanted to spend a lifetime loving this person, taking care of this person. But, a single misunderstanding destroyed all of this.
Their mistrust was the biggest obstacle between them.
Lu Xiuwen lowered his head, lips lightly pressing against Ye Ming’s fingers. Ye Ming’s fingers were a bit cold without much temperature, just like before when he’d been carrying him… inside Lu Xiuwen’s eyes, his grief was as deep as the sea.
At this moment, Ye Ming uttered softly, “Uncle…”
Lu Xiuwen froze, a trace of embarrassment and panic flashing in his eyes. But, when he looked over, he discovered that Ye Ming actually hadn’t woken up yet. His eyes were still closed, so he was probably sleep-talking.
Realizing this, Lu Xiuwen actually felt as though he’d survived a natural disaster. Right now, he wasn’t too sure how he should face Ye Ming.
Fortunately, Ye Ming hadn’t woken up yet.
Lu Xiuwen replied in a hoarse voice, “I’m here.”
Ye Ming’s lips slightly moved a bit, the expression on his face seeming a bit sad, and not quite steady. “Uncle…”
“Uncle, I like you so much…”
“Why is the person you love not me…”
When Lu Xiuwen heard these words, the rims of his eyes seemed to heat up somewhat. He said very earnestly, “The person I love is you. It’s always been you.”
I think I ought to let go now. Knowing that you still love me, I should be more than satisfied.
【Ding. Lu Xiuwen’s Blackening Value: -5. Current Blackening Value: 5】
………………
Ye Ming woke up the next day. He slightly turned his head and saw Lu Xiuwen sitting on the sofa in the ward, his eyes closed as though he was resting. Ye Ming looked down at his wrists wrapped in gauze and sat up. He remembered that he had attempted suicide, but it looked like it obviously hadn’t been very successful. It made sense… Lu Xiuwen wouldn’t permit him to die, right? He kept even his own life or death under his control.
Lu Xiuwen slept very lightly. He heard movement and opened his eyes. His profound, dark eyes seemed to have an indescribable sense of powerlessness and bleakness. After a long time, he stood up and said, “You’re awake.”
Ye Ming’s expression didn’t change much. He only coldly watched him.
This gaze pierced Lu Xiuwen. He thought he’d already gotten used to it, but actually, he hadn’t. He’d never be able to get used to it.
Lu Xiuwen raised his hand and glanced at his watch. The time couldn’t be considered too late. He paused a bit, then said, “Rest well.”
After speaking, he turned and walked out.
When Ye Ming was asleep, he was reluctant to leave for even a minute or a second. He only wanted to take as many final looks at this person as he could. He couldn’t remember how he’d fallen asleep last night while sitting there. He’d probably been too tired, but Ye Ming was awake… and instead, he could no longer stay.
Actually, he should have realized it sooner. This kind of persistence was meaningless. Only, despite making up his mind, those words still wouldn’t leave his mouth. He was reluctant to until it was the very last moment.
Ye Ming stayed in the hospital for a few days. In the daytime there were always nurses looking after him. Because he’d only lost too much blood, he’d be fine after resting for a few days. It couldn’t be considered a major issue. Lu Xiuwen would only come at nighttime when Ye Ming was resting. He never appeared during the daytime.
After a few more days, the doctor finally told Lu Xiuwen that Ye Ming could be discharged from the hospital. When Lu Xiuwen received this news, he knew in his heart that it was time for all of this to come to an end. In his entire life, this was the hardest decision he’d ever made. But, he couldn’t be hesitant any longer.
He once again came to the hospital during the daytime and told Ye Ming, “You can leave the hospital now.”
Ye Ming expressionlessly nodded. He got out of bed, about to change his clothes, when Lu Xiuwen suddenly stepped forward and said, “I’ll help you.”
He took Ye Ming’s clothes, movements gentle as he helped him change, personally buttoning up each and every button for him. He suddenly remembered that when Ye Ming had still been very young, he’d also personally taken care of him like this. At that time, he’d still been a child, and Lu Xiuwen hadn’t known that in the years to come… he’d fall in love with this child, unable to extricate himself.
He once struggled and blamed himself over this, full of anxiety and guilt, afraid that Gu Xueya would blame him…
He felt that things couldn’t be this way.
Afterwards, sure enough, there weren’t good results.
Lu Xiuwen released his hand, looked down and said, “Let’s go.”
He walked with Ye Ming to the entrance of the hospital, one hand in his pocket, a bank card inside that he’d prepared for Ye Ming. But, Lu Xiuwen knew that Ye Ming wouldn’t accept it. This made him feel pained and vexed. How could he be at ease with letting Ye Ming leave by himself in such a state?
But even more than that, he didn’t have the heart to not allow him to leave.
Probably because he was wavering, Lu Xiuwen’s expression looked a little solemn, the curve of his jaw rigid.
This was the first time in a long while since Ye Ming had left the cold and empty house. He stood among the bustling crowd on the main street. In front of him were people coming and going, the flow of traffic surging.
It was like returning from a hopeless, lonely prison back to the human world brimming with life, filling him with a sense of yearning.
But, he knew that all of this was about to end soon. Lu Xiuwen would take him back to that house. He’d lock him up again, leaving him unable to see the light of day, only able to live inside that tiny space. Every day he’d wait to be granted an audience, only able to stay by this one person’s side.
He didn’t want to go back to living a life worse than death.
He didn’t want to go back.
Just ahead, the flow of traffic started up again, swiftly sweeping past Ye Ming. Ye Ming felt a sudden burst of courage that came out of nowhere, and he abruptly rushed out onto the road!
TW Summary
Ye Ming thinks about not going back again and runs into oncoming traffic on the road.
Lu Xiuwen’s fingers tightly clutched the bank card. He knew he needed to make a decision. No matter what, he should let Ye Ming leave first then figure out the rest later. But, before he could speak, he saw Ye Ming rush out onto the road!
At this moment, Lu Xiuwen’s heart was raised instantly. Without thinking, his body’s reaction was faster than his train of thoughts! He rushed over and grabbed Ye Ming’s wrist and yanked him back hard!
In the next moment, there was the familiar feeling of being struck. He seemed to be flying away, and was somewhat weightless. The pain came a bit slowly, and it wasn’t until he landed on the ground that he felt as though his entire body from head to toe had been shattered to pieces.
Just like in the previous life, this feeling wasn’t all that unfamiliar.
Ye Ming sat dumbly on the ground. Lu Xiuwen had grabbed onto him and suddenly flung him back onto the side of the road. Then, he was hit by a car and sent flying. All of this seemed to happen in an instant, not giving him any chance to react.
What exactly had happened…
After the vehicle hit Lu Xiuwen, it swerved and hit the median barrier. Traffic was immediately blocked off, the people nearby rushed over, and the police and ambulance also arrived quickly.
Ye Ming looked at Lu Xiuwen who was lying in a pool of blood. He finally got up from the ground and tottered over. He reached out and touched the blood on Lu Xiuwen’s body. Suddenly, he was terrified. Would Uncle die?
When he thought of this, his tears began to fall uncontrollably.
Why were things like this, he didn’t want things to be this way…
Lu Xiuwen hadn’t completely lost consciousness yet. He saw Ye Ming crying and instinctively wanted to reach out and help him wipe away his tears, but he couldn’t lift his hand. He had no strength left. Finally, his lips moved a bit, his voice low, “Don’t cry, it’s okay…”
Ye Ming heard Lu Xiuwen’s gentle voice. Even in this condition, he was still worried about him. Tears gushed out even more rapidly.
It seemed that Lu Xiuwen was really helpless when Ye Ming was like this. The more he coaxed him, the more he cried. But, ignoring him and leaving him alone wasn’t something he could do either. But in the future, it would be okay. Once he was no longer by his side, he’d no longer be as troubled and sad. No one would make him cry anymore ba.
If he was fated to not have this person, then just let go.
Such a simple principle actually took him this long to understand. He was too selfish and conceited. He loved someone and always thought about using any and all means possible to obtain him, trapping him by his side… but some people really couldn’t be made to stay just because you wanted them to stay.
Just like how he was unable to make Ye Ming stay.
Two lifetimes and a rebirth. He could only ever lose him…
So this was fate, ah.
Lu Xiuwen smiled and said, “Go, I won’t ever lock you up again… ke…” He felt that there was a bloody taste in his throat, but he still wanted to say this sentence out loud.
“Actually, just now, I just wanted… to tell you that. This child… why must you be in such a hurry.”
So impetuous, impulsive, naive… how am I supposed to rest assured with you living alone in this world.
Lu Xiuwen felt very dejected. He had lots of exhortations, but no longer had the right to give them anymore. He couldn’t even return to the past and take care of him just as an elder would.
Lu Xiuwen’s vision gradually blurred. He watched as Ye Ming sobbed too hard to speak, and felt very apologetic in his heart. His voice became softer and softer.
“Sorry… but, you’ve never… ever been anyone’s… substitute…”
The author has something to say: It’s hard to cry when you’re sick, ji ji. The next chapter should end this world.
The translator has something to say: onions… ⸜₍๑•⌔•๑₎⸝
Thanks for translating.
That is a lot of blood for one chapter
Thanks for reading!
Ye Ming-gege really chose.. ‘scenes of bloody slaughter’ (ó﹏ò｡)
Still less blood than what half the population face on a daily basis wipes tears Now, popcorn, SUFFER MORE ML.
…QAQ
Thanks for the chapter ❤❤❤
thanks for reading! (⌒ω⌒)
Ooohh! I thought it’s Ye Ming who will be hit by the truck but turns out it’s Liu Xiuwen! What will happeennn,, did the scum gong died 😭 i don’t wannaaa, let us torture you some more (just kidding lolol)
But seriously tho,,, I hope he’s alive.. After all bad grass don’t die so easily!! So live Uncle 🤧😭✊
Thank you so much for the Chapter Phizzlepop and Mantou!!!! 🍵🍩🍧🍨🍦🦪🍥🍢🍤🍣🥗🍿
thanks for reading!
the MLs definitely need to be ‘educated’ by Ye Ming-gege first ( ￣＾￣)
QaQ my tears…..
his inner thoughts at the end of this chapter!! (つ﹏⊂)
Thanks for the chapter! 😘
Coming here after reading This Omega is Immune to all Abilities, and the melodrama slapped me in the face hard lol, I’m crying without tears in how much of a soap opera this entire thing is 😂
thanks for reading!
yep yep, the transition to the ‘dog-blood’ angst train is always jarring ʕ◉ᴥ◉ʔ
Don’t let him die 😭
Ye Ming-gege’s drama production this round is really covering all the bases ｡◉㉨◉
To be honest if it weren’t for Ye Ming’s character, this story would have been very angst. But with YM all seem like a joke lol
True dat!!! hahahaha 😆
ngl I live for the brief ‘real’ Ye Ming inner thoughts. I think Ye Ming-gege (so basically the author-dada) has rlly pragmatic thought processes ʢᵕᴗᵕʡ
Wow translator… Thats a lot of onions, ge thank!
thanks for reading!
his monologue (´･д･｀)