The Scum Shou's Survival GuideChapter 107.1

Translator: phizzlepop
Editor: mantou

NB: If you need trigger warnings, from now on if there are any for the chapter, I’ll be placing them under these dropdowns so you can check first, since they’re slightly spoiler-y. W1Ebq

How much I loved you before is how much I hate you now.

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You make me feel disgusted.

Lu Xiuwen stood there, these two sentences echoing endlessly in his ears. He looked at Ye Ming’s indifferent expression. At this moment, it was as though the scene of Ye Ming leaving him in his previous life had been reproduced… that time, Ye Ming had also looked at him this way, telling him that he made him feel disgusted. 3FqD6M

Then, he turned around to leave and never came back.

All this time, Lu Xiuwen hadn’t quite figured out this point, hadn’t understood how Ye Ming could so ruthlessly betray him, could so heartlessly say such words.

Now he seemed to finally understand.

It was simply because Ye Ming loved him.

Perhaps in his previous life, Ye Ming had silently loved him. Even if at that time, they weren’t in that kind of relationship, this child probably still cared a lot about him… so after finding out the so-called ‘truth’ from Song Qin, he couldn’t handle such an outcome, couldn’t accept that the person he loved the most had such thoughts about him. Not only was he deeply in love with his mother, but he also treated him as his mother’s substitute.

So he hated him.

Lu Xiuwen slightly lifted the corners of his lips, exposing a gloomy smile. Such a simple answer… he’d thought about it for two lifetimes, and only now did he understand.

A decade’s worth of feelings, how could they be easy to erase? If Ye Ming really didn’t care about him at all, then in this life, how could he have played into his hands so easily? Fallen in love with him so easily? Feelings of love between two people were fundamentally not something that could be controlled through scheming. DlncIA

Ye Ming loved him, because he originally loved him already, and not because his schemes made him fall in love with him…

【Ding. Lu Xiuwen’s Blackening Value: -20. Current Blackening Value: 10】

Lu Xiuwen shut his eyes, the depths of his dark eyes filled with endless pain. He’d been wrong.

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

Using these methods to obtain Ye Ming was a complete mistake. If he hadn’t used despicable means, but had been a bit more genuine and opened up about liking Gu Xueya in the past, and had been more candid about his feelings for Ye Ming much earlier, then, at the time Song Qin said those things once again… would Ye Ming have been more willing to trust him instead of being deceived again? Misunderstanding him? PO98zN

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Now, I understand how much you hate me. But, I still can’t let you go. YNt9fF

Lu Xiuwen walked over, patted Ye Ming’s head, his voice low, “It’s time to go down and eat.”

Ye Ming did not resist Lu Xiuwen’s actions, nor did he refuse. He just woodenly walked downstairs, not giving Lu Xiuwen any opportunity to continue forcing him, seemingly very obedient.

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Since resisting had no meaning, what was the point of continuing to do it? Just to flaunt his unyielding character?

No need. Everything he wanted to say had already been said. JnYoKa

Lu Xiuwen looked down at his hand. It had just been touching the person he loved so deeply. Now he indeed possessed him, but it could also be said that he’d lost him. Because, this child would never again smile brilliantly at him like before, nor use that kind of adoring gaze to look at him like before.

In his eyes, he was merely a demon who was forcing him against his will.

………………

Ye Ming didn’t attempt to escape anymore. He obediently ate and slept, didn’t fuss, didn’t make trouble, and didn’t talk. Even when Lu Xiuwen occasionally hugged him and kissed him, he still didn’t resist. He only shut his eyes and assumed a state of sleep. 7 fpDe

Seeing him like this, Lu Xiuwen couldn’t bear to force him, and didn’t do anything excessive to him. He was compliant in every matter, except for not allowing him to go out.

Toward this kind of Ye Ming, Lu Xiuwen felt extremely powerless. Ye Ming was weak, naive, and still somewhat childish. It stood to reason that there was nothing to fear. But, it just so happened that this existence that looked weak in his eyes was also the existence of the only thing in this entire world that he would never be able to overcome.

He couldn’t even obtain his pity.

During this period of time, Lu Xiuwen never smiled at work. Everyone throughout the company was on tenterhooks. It was apparent the boss had probably been in a bad mood recently, but no one had heard about any major events? What exactly happened to make the boss feel so troubled? 5TdLjI

Lu Xiuwen didn’t care what others thought of him. His attention was all placed on Ye Ming. This day after the meeting finished, he didn’t stay much longer. He rejected the invitations from the other vice presidents, directly got in his car, and said, “Go home.”

The driver, Uncle Li, couldn’t help but sigh, and said, “President Lu, if the young master is really unwilling, then forget it and just let him leave.”

Lu Xiuwen’s complexion was a bit pale. The area under his eyes was dense with weariness. His thin lips lifted slightly and he let out a very low, self-deprecating laugh. After a moment of silence, he asked, “You also think that I should let go, right?”

Old Li had been with Lu Xiuwen for many years. He was very clear on how much Lu Xiuwen loved Ye Ming. But, Ye Ming didn’t believe Lu Xiuwen. Continuing like this wouldn’t yield any results anyway. 9P82aW

He said, “I just think that you doing this isn’t a solution either.”

Lu Xiuwen closed his eyes and leaned against the backseat, arms folded across his chest. The air around him condensed, tinged faintly with pain. How could he not understand this point, not understand that continuing like this wouldn’t yield any results… how could he not know that he ought to let go.

But letting go, this kind of thing, was easier said than done.

……………… 0rGomn

Ye Ming lay at home sleeping, the reincarnation of Hypnos. Although he couldn’t go out, spending all day at home sleeping very much agreed with him. As one of the modern day household gods, not going out for an entire month was nothing.

【Ye Ming: These days have really been too idle. Although I very much want to continue on like this, the blackening value stopped moving again. Ai.】

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

【888: The words you said in the previous life have already been whitewashed, but 10 points of his blackening value still remain.】

【Ye Ming: What can be done, Uncle is really not content. I just don’t believe that he loves me, I have to misunderstand him. Having a bit of blackening value left is very normal…】 gUdrop

【888: He he….】

【Ye Ming: So, things are back to the starting point again! After whitewashing the previous life’s issues, how should I change my mind and believe in Uncle’s love~!】

【888: …】

【Ye Ming: Before I went too far, and now finding myself stairs to take down is difficult QAQ】 MJyH69

【888: He he he he he he】This kind of spicy chicken was actually still alive in this world. Truly, scourges do live on for a thousand years.

【Ye Ming: How exactly should I create an opportunity for him to demonstrate his feelings QAQ】

【888: …】

Ye Ming slept until the middle of the afternoon before getting up. Even breakfast had been skipped. Wearing pajamas and slippers, he walked downstairs. Because he’d been cooped up for too long, recently his complexion wasn’t particularly good. Still so young, yet he gave off the appearance of a hollowed-out alcoholic womanizer. LDaYsy

He sat in the living room for a bit, and before long, Lu Xiuwen came back.

Seeing Ye Ming, Lu Xiuwen paused his actions for a bit. Then, he walked over to sit next to him, and asked with a warm voice, “Xiao Ran, what would you like to eat today?”

Ye Ming woodenly turned his head to glance at Lu Xiuwen, his lips pale, dark eyes dull. He didn’t speak.

Lu Xiuwen looked at this expression of his. The pain he felt in his heart couldn't possibly be any greater. He drove the person he loved the most into this state. 1s 9Pw

This meal was silent as usual. Lu Xiuwen was worried that Ye Ming would get sick from staying indoors for too long, and was prepared to take him outside for a walk nearby. The area nearby was all his private land. There weren’t many people around, so he wasn’t worried that Ye Ming might be able to escape.

But Ye Ming refused. He only looked coldly at Lu Xiuwen, and said in a hoarse voice, “I’m tired. Don’t want to move.”

After that, he turned around and went upstairs.

Lu Xiuwen was caging him and raising him just like raising a little cat or dog, right? When he went out, he locked him inside the house. When he came back, he’d take him out for a walk. He didn’t need Lu Xiuwen’s ridiculous consideration. He was a human being. tIQre0

Looking at Ye Ming’s back, Lu Xiuwen stood in place, pure exhaustion in his eyes. After a long silence, he eventually still followed him up. Ye Ming was already in bed resting.

Lu Xiuwen changed his clothes. He lay on the side, then lightly embraced Ye Ming and said, “If you don’t want to move, then don’t move.”

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Ye Ming kept his eyes shut and didn’t seem to have heard him. The man’s embrace was as warm as always, and his voice was as gentle as always. It was as though the person he loved the most was him.

But it wasn’t… the person he loved wasn’t him at all. AZMnpq

He was unable to escape this place. Day in and day out, he had to face this kind of torture. He was trapped by this person’s side, forever unable to forget how he’d treated him. Day after day, he was reminded of his status.

He wanted to act as though he didn’t care, but he really, really couldn’t take it anymore. What meaning did living on like this have?

Ye Ming suddenly opened his eyes. He lightly removed Lu Xiuwen’s hand, and walked into the bathroom.

He closed the door. His eyes indifferently glancing scanned the bathroom. A few days ago, he’d taken advantage of the nanny not paying attention to secretly hide a fruit knife here. No one had discovered it. At that time, he’d held onto the knife with a strong impulse to end his own life and leave this hopeless world. Kd8iJy

But he hadn’t been able to do it.

But now this impulse had suddenly sprouted again, growing wildly like weeds. From the crevice under the bathroom vanity, he found the knife he’d hidden. He stared at his frail wrist for a long time, looking at the blue blood vessels on it. Despair emerged from his eyes.

Slice down. Kill yourself, then you can break free from all of this.

Was there anything that couldn’t be let go of left in this world? Not anymore. You should go meet with your mom and dad. They would never treat you like this. EcyGAj

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