Edited by RinRin
The frightened palace maid ran out the door, and an equally frightened Shan Ziwei chased after her after a moment of shock. However, he only managed to glimpse the maid turning a corner before he lost her. The sudden commotion attracted the nearby workers, and a large group of guards began approaching the center of the disturbance.
Hearing the heavy thudding of footsteps growing louder as they gathered towards him, Shan Ziwei, who was about to be caught red handed, could not help but turn his focus to his current situation no matter how much he couldn’t come to terms with the situation. Hugging the book that a certain hypersexual insisted had been given to the wrong person, he began to evaluate his situation.
Gaia had confirmed, this is your story.
There was no mistake that the protagonist of this book was definitely him. Today was the day that he, the ‘witch’, should’ve been finally enthroned as ‘Queen’.
Shan Ziwei turned and ran back into the room. From the words of the maid just now, the one she was talking to was the ‘Queen that was preparing for the enthronement’. By that logic, the room that he appeared in was most likely the Queen’s bedroom.
In the room, Shan Ziwei quickly found what he had been looking for.
The rooms of European style palaces are usually decorated with exquisite furniture, tapestries, and chandeliers, among which paintings are indispensable. On the side of the bed draping with bright red curtains, Shan Ziwei saw an enormous painting of a wedding coronation, which almost occupied an entire wall. It looked similar to the coronation ceremony of Napoleon I and Queen Josephine, proudly depicting a grand wedding in front of Shan Ziwei. The scene showed a bustling audience, the slightly nodding Queen, and the King who was placing the crown on the Queen’s head.
“Bang.” The storybook in Shan Ziwei’s hands fell to the ground.
Although it was no time to be spacing out, Shan Ziwei still failed to collect himself after seeing the Queen in the painting. She was dressed in brilliant white, like a sunlit cloud, with a creased inner dress, and a red floor-length dressing gown with gold accents. Her long platinum hair was meticulously combed, which made her sculpted face look even colder. Even though she tilted her head slightly in order to receive the crown, it still felt like she was jutting out her chin with arrogance and pride.
But most importantly, the Queen had the same face as him.
Shan Ziwei squatted down and mechanically moved to pick up the fallen storybook.
Although at first glance, it was difficult to identify the similarity between Shan Ziwei and the queen in the painting, Shan Ziwei knew the difference stemmed from the makeup, clothing and aura. A certain hypersexual had once developed a photo app with a group of programmer friends; the most popular function of this app was the one-click makeup button. As one of the development testers, Shan Ziwei’s face had already been harmed countless times by that function. That’s how he immediately identified his face despite the differences.
TF
In a confused state of mind, Shan Ziwei reached down to scoop up the book, but only felt empty space. He looked down and found that the story book had mysteriously vanished at some point.
Because the ‘Queen version’ of himself made such a big impact on Shan Ziwei, the disappearance of the storybook only mutely settled in his consciousness with a simple “Ah, it disappeared”. Shan Ziwei’s attention was firmly attached to the oil painting. He stared intensely at the gorgeous Queen, whose beauty could fall a kingdom, as though he wanted to use his eyes to drill a hole in the damned painting, and destroy that evil face.
Just what exactly has the designer of this game experienced? Why was he so inhumane?!
A certain hypersexual wanted to roll around on the ground and throw a tantrum; “I won’t look, I won’t listen, I won’t play ah!”. However, his professional work ethics still made him drag his damaged body and mind and walk with heavy footsteps to the other end of the oil painting. On that side, there was a slightly open, dense wooden door, and through the crack, he could see the edge of many clothes inside. Evidently, this was the dressing room.
Pushing the door open, row after row of magnificent dresses vied to attract his eyes, a stream of confusing yet elaborate and complex pieces. Shan Ziwei’s face was green as he stared aghast at the rack of corsets and short skirts in the corner. His already weakly struggling soul finally kicked the bucket.
When a person is driven over the edge, anything is possible. At that point, one’s consciousness is already in an out of body state and entirely unable to communicate properly with the body, being in two different dimensions. The young man with white hair walked into the dressing room with a wooden face, mechanically pulled out a set of white silk inner dress and dark blue flannel outer gown from the innermost hanger, and put them on his body with a feeling of nothing left to live for.
And then, he got stuck.
Shan Ziwei frantically pulled down on the skirt and finally popped his head out with much difficulty. However, before he could even take a breath, he heard heavy thudding sounds nearby, simply adding oil to the fire. The guards attracted by the maid had already set foot in the bedroom and would soon rush into the dressing room.
Shan Ziwei, who was firmly trapped in women’s clothing, immediately encountered the biggest crisis in his life. It not only endangered his game career, but also his conscience and reputation.
Wait, PLEASE, GIVE ME ANOTHER 5 MINUTES! NO? NO, NO NONONONO, JUST 1 MINUTE IS OK TOO AH!
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
AHHHH, if only he could erase their memories, that would be good too!!!
C ragfjx bo iluta oijrtfv atgbeut Vtjc Ilkfl’r atbeutar.
Lfs kjla, ibrlcu mbcrmlbercfrr… tf mifjgis tjv 10 yijcx kliv mjgvr lc tlr vfmx. Qts rtbeiv tf kbggs jybea qeaalcu bc j rtbk ilxf j vewyjrr?
Vtjc Ilkfl’r mtjbalm rbei rfaaifv vbkc. Lf kfvufv atf kbwfc’r vgfrr jgbecv tlr cfmx ilxf j yly, delmxis vgfk bea j kliv mjgv jcv rjlv, “P tjnf jc CYS riffq rxlii!”
As soon as Shan Ziwei’s voice fell, the clown on the wild card rolled its eyes around in a circle, then split into a blood red grin. The card suddenly dissolved into countless specks of blue light, entering Shan Ziwei’s “personal scenario” column.
Scenario one: You can use Devil’s-thorn to put all living things in the castle to sleep, lasting until the princess is kissed.
“PAK”
As soon as the scenario refreshed, the solid wooden door of the dressing room was knocked open by the guards. Shan Ziwei’s nerves were tense to the extreme. He stared at the part “use Devil’s-thorn”, and reflexively ran towards the only tiny window in the dressing room. There, a few small branches with small yellow flowers lay softly against the edge of the window. It was precisely Devil’s-thorn.
The first guard who broke into the dressing room only had time to see a shadow moving rapidly in the furthest corner, and then… and then there was no ‘and then’. With his leg still in the air ready to take another step, his eyes slid shut and he lost consciousness on the spot. Naturally, he couldn’t see Shan Ziwei, holding the Devil’s-thorns, staring open mouthed at his masterpiece.
The instant the Devil’s-thorns were grabbed by Shan Ziwei to activate his skill, it expanded like it’d been doused with miracle-grow, covering the castle within a few breaths time and knocking out everyone in it. As the initiator, Shan Ziwei couldn’t help but feel shock and horror before he could admire his handiwork. It must be said that this skill was simply too powerful and spectacular; it was way too much of an overkill. Shan Ziwei, who had always been at the level of using his skills to compete in beer pong and festival games, felt the weightlessness and trepidation arising from suddenly becoming a God among mortals. He subconsciously looked at his status, fearing that his entire MP bar would be sucked to 0 by this heaven defying skill.
Seeing that there were still 10 points left, Shan Ziwei heaved a large sigh of relief, feeling like he had just survived a natural disaster. Now half of his heart had settled down, yet the other half was still hanging by a thread because of the “buy one, get one free” type system scenarios. Because the situation just now had been too urgent, although the system scenarios were updated together with personal scenarios, he didn’t have enough time to check it.
Shan Ziwei shifted his attention to the upper right corner and focused.
Scenario 1: You are attending the party celebrating Princess Rose’s birth. 01:30:00
Princess Rose.
Shan Ziwei paused at the word ‘Princess’. His story book ended with “because of the Witch’s actions, the beautiful Princess found her true love and home”. There is no doubt that the Witch is him, thus, his goal now should be to let this Princess Rose achieve happiness.
Shan Ziwei anxiously glanced at the unmoving guards resting against the doorway. Either way, he should first focus on getting through this terrific start to his story.
So once again, it was the lovely and exciting time to change clothes.
Shan Ziwei pulled off his skirt ruthlessly with one hand and threw it on the floor with a PAK.
‘I’m no longer a dumbass mortal!’
A minute later, the mirror on the dressing table reflected a gorgeous lady. “She” was dressed in a floor-length dark blue and white gown. Her platinum hair was gently pulled up, and her glossed lips were delicate and dewy. She was a beautiful woman from every angle, only, her height was a little excessive.
Confronting the version of himself dressed as a Queen, even though he had already made psychological preparations, Shan Ziwei still suffered a heavy blow to his soul and his 3 world views collapsed. He resisted the urge to destroy the mirror and focused his attention on the two new scenarios instead.
Scenario two: You can use the appropriate props to disguise yourself as whoever you want.
Scenario 2: Your mastery in disguise skills was learned under the Thief Lord. In memory of your master, you decide to steal the princess’s wedding ring. 08:00:00
Scenario two lifted Shan Ziwei out from the hell of personally struggling with women’s clothes. Although the system also gave a scenario 2 that looked a little difficult, it had an extremely long deadline. Shan Ziwei optimistically hoped that he could complete the story before the scenario could come into effect.
After settling his disguise, Shan Ziwei took a deep breath and prepared to terminate the AOE sleep skill and officially begin the plot, but then he suddenly paused.
#How to stop this skill
The answer was clearly written in his mind, but a certain hypersexual was still struggling desperately, in hope that what he saw before him was an illusion.
And then scenario one gave him a fatal blow.
Scenario one: You can use Devil’s-thorn to put all living things in the castle to sleep, lasting until the princess is kissed.
Lasting until the princess is kissed.
Until the princess is kissed.
The princess is kissed.
Is kissed.
Kissed.
A thousand fuck me’s rolled and sang as they ran across Shan Ziwei’s heart.
The situation just now was just too critical, so although he’d read scenario one, he’d only focused on the first half of the sentence on how to activate the AOE sleeping skill. The second half of the sentence only flitted through his brain quickly before being ignored; he just hadn’t had the time to comprehend it.
So now, a certain hypersexual who’d only read half the sentence must pay the price for his carelessness.
Was this fking sleeping beauty? Did they need some kiss from a prince to release a magic curse or something?? Wait, looking at it like this, it actually was pretty similar…
Shan Ziwei silently looked out the window at the thorns that entangled the entire castle. He almost knelt down; wasn’t this basically Sleeping Beauty’s plot?!
A certain hypersexual compared the ending of the story book to the ending of Sleeping Beauty. The question was: did that certain hypersexual need to go find a prince to kiss the princess? The problem was that in Sleeping Beauty, the princess was cursed to sleep forever because she touched a spindle, however, now it was clearly a cross-dresser that made the entire castle fall asleep to get out of the embarrassment of being gawked at. Not only did the cause and effect not match up, the new storyline was simply too wretched.
Shan Ziwei once again stabbed himself with another imaginary knife unwittingly, then he dragged himself out with heavy steps. He decided to find the princess first to see the situation.
Because everyone in the castle was knocked out, the place resembled a tomb, and it took Shan Ziwei nearly half an hour to find the princess’s room. In the end, he was so tired he was panting like a dog. The main culprit being the gorgeous dress decorated with heavy diamond jewels. It weighed so much that it was like it was made out of heavy cotton blankets.
The moment he saw the princess, Shan Ziwei immediately realized that this could not be the script of Sleeping Beauty. There was no way he could help “the beautiful Princess find her true love and home”, because this princess was not at an age to fall in love at all.
The little girl sitting on the sofa only looked about eight years old. Her snow white skin contrasted her ebony hair, combed back neatly in a childish cut. She was wearing a fluffy white tutu skirt decorated extensively with lace. With her large eyes closed by the sleeping spell, she was as quiet as a doll in a display window; it was pure and beautiful.
She satisfied all possible fantasies about dolls and lolis. Even Shan Ziwei, this hypersexual, had the impulse to rub her head and hug her.
The oil painting on the wall, depicting a family of three, clearly confirmed the identity of the doll-like girl as the princess. There was absolutely no way such a beautiful doll could be at the age to pursue true love. By this logic, Shan Ziwei could tell that his AOE spell was indeed an unexpected incident outside of the plot. Now he just had to resolve this accidental incident as soon as possible and continue the plot.
As for how to solve it…
Shan Ziwei’s eyes fell on the princess’s lips. The child’s mouth was as red as blood. The little mouth was puckered like a flower bud; it seemed like honey would flow out with a light suck.
Even before he started, Shan Ziwei already felt that death was preferable over life.
This is fking child molestment ah you can be sentenced to life imprisonment for this ah! Game devs, you’re forcing people to commit crimes ah!!!
A certain hypersexual paced in circles around the room like a trapped animal for nearly 20 minutes. In the end, through the unceasing passage of time, he finally succumbed to the unreasonable and indifferent reality.
She’s not real She’s not real She’s not real
The splendidly dressed ‘Queen’ squatted in front of the child with a constipated face, as if rather than performing the most intimate act in the world, he was being sentenced to the gallows. Shan Ziwei stared fiercely at the child’s lips, slowly leaned over and stopped a centimeter away.
Wait, if he kissed the princess like this, wouldn’t the princess see his criminal behaviour the second the skill is released? The image just couldn’t be any better.
Shan Ziwei immediately drew his head back, and fell into thought. Then, he took out another wild card.
“I have an invisibility skill.”
The clown on the wild card grinned.
Scenario three: you can close your eyes to hide yourself and the person holding your hand.
This godly initiation condition…
Shan Ziwei had no words left. He suddenly felt that the wild cards were not as good as he’d thought. Although it always gave him what he wanted, he couldn’t shake off the feeling that he’d been sold fake goods.
And then there’s that goddamned buy one get one free condition.
Scenario 3: You are the godmother of Princess Donkeyskin. 01:30:00
Princess Donkeyskin.
How can there be so many Princesses?
Shan Ziwei was dumbfounded. He looked at the scenario panel and tried hard to recall the ending of the story book, only remembering that it said ‘beautiful princess.’
Beautiful, beautiful… beautiful your face! Are there any princesses that are not beautiful? Shan Ziwei thought as he went through a mental breakdown. So in the end, which princess did he need to help find a true love and home for??? Or rather, did he need to give happiness to every princess?!
Shan Ziwei was frightened by the latter insinuation. He suddenly recalled a certain sentence said by the great Fatty: “with great power comes great responsibility”. In that moment, he finally grasped the meaning of that sentence. Shan Ziwei looked at the wild cards in his hand, and no longer thought that they were divine wishing cards; they were contracts from the devil.
Calm down, Shan Ziwei. Right now, you only have two princesses to take responsibility for. From now on, don’t use wild cards until it’s absolutely necessary.
Shan Ziwei gave himself a pep talk, and then prepared to continue his unfinished great cause and awaken the princess. He looked at the beautiful doll in front of him. Was this one Princess Rose or Princess Donkeyskin?
Regardless.
Shan Ziwei dipped his head and noticed the characteristic milky fragrance of young children.
We’ll find out in a minute.
Iz: So… did our dear Shanzi just name a princess ‘Donkeyskin’?
Rinrin: Haha, since the other mc of the storybook is the Princess, does this mean we can expect double crossdressing?? Though an unexpected side character would be interesting too, keeps us guessing. And check out Charles Perrault’s fairy tale Donkeyskin! It’s a childhood fav
Iz: OWO
Just checked out the synopsis of donkeyskin haha out mc is gonna have a real hard time
Donkeyskin is creepy
Thanks for the chapter! 💕
If I were him, I would have tried the cheek or forehead first…
Agreed. Skill didn’t say where to kiss and a cute little girl like that deserves forehead kisses. That said, our Mc is pure to the point of men and women should not touch unless married – yes, conditioned by his disease but also he follows social conventions as much as possible.
LOL R.I.P Shanzi~ 😂😂😂
Thank you for the translation!~
Well… erm.. good luck I guess? :’D
Thx for the ch (ㅅ˘ㅂ˘)
Sounds like being in multiple places at once lol good luck mc! Don’t mix up your identities between storylines (≧∀≦)
who would want to name their own child, Donkeyskin? 😓
This whole premise is so hilarious, you can just feel his anxiety bursting out! At least he’s a fast thinker, even if he’s digging his own grave 😂