Rin the Rat: Tale of a Beloved MonsterCh54 - Acquiescence

CW: Explicit language, mentions of drug use, sexual content, graphic violence.


Jun spends the next day at the Lakehouse as Mira and Teacher Hak were planned to visit and review his self-study. This leaves Rin alone and listless, entrapped within the walls of the Temple as the city soaks in the late summer rains. acUXF0

Rin lazes in bed, chewing tastelessly on sweetmeats as he thinks about Crow. He indulges in the unpleasant memories, lingering upon them, ruminating and studying them from every angle.

The feel of the man’s throat under his hands as he crushes his windpipe. The burst blood vessels turning Crow’s eyes black. His purple complexion bordering on black. The sheer desperation and terror twisting his features until he’s unrecognisable. And there’s that moment, that strange, profound moment, when Crow metamorphoses from human to object.

Chrysanthemum Garden.

Human. Living, breathing, alive. To be human is movement and light. Something dense and real.

Object. Dead, static, still. It’s an It that’s hollow and forevermore motionless. A nothing with a façade of something. nSUmav

It’s the memory of the human that paints horror onto the object. And one’s primal fear of their determined decline into object. A nothing with a façade of something.

Rin feels more angry than afraid when faced with his own mortality. He is entitled, he has a right, to this life thrust upon him. And this damned world doggedly pursues his hard-won breath with the hopes of snuffing it out. Not only that, but this world wants to steal everything that’s precious to him. Or rather, everyone.

He killed Crow for Vex. He felt a sincere obligation, a payment of sorts, after witnessing the man’s death. But there’s also a part of him that knows that there were other reasons too.

“Am I interrupting?”

Osgc6Q

Rin glances at the open doorway. The Marquis is leaning against the frame, exuding the very air of graceful nonchalance. He’s donned a cream robe, silken and heavy. It does well to disguise his sickly body.

Cast in the blue light of precipitation, Korain is a remarkable vision. He has a cold fragility about him that makes him seem unapproachable. To even dare think of touching such a creature would be blasphemous.

Rin’s heart skips a beat. He thumps his chest in retaliation.

“What do you want, Korain?” he grunts, sitting upright. The bag of sweetmeats slips off his belly and tumbles to the floor. S1FQ3m

The Marquis hums amusedly and glides inside. He situates himself by the window, peering out over the dreary landscape. “Must I have an agenda to speak with you, bébé souris? Perhaps I was feeling lonely and simply wished for your company.”

“Sure,” Rin scoffs, eyeing the man with incredulity. “Because I’m such great company.”

Oui. You most certainly are.” Korain glances at the raven, a delicate smile tugging at his shapely lips. “I must also offer you my gratitude. Though we had won the battle, Crow would have recovered and retaliated in due time. Because of your gift, we no longer have to be concerned with this threat. We are free to oversee the Slums as we see fit.”

Rin raises a brow. “You’re not upset I killed your lover?” gLdPEM

“Hmm. He provided the Slowane and always stayed to indulge. Ours was a relationship of convenience. Outside of our dealings, we remained steadfast enemies.” Whether he is under the full effects of Slowane or riding the tail end of his high, the Marquis displays a noticeable bulge in the skirt of his robe. Rin tries his best to ignore it.

“I’m surprised that you didn’t get yourself another Marchioness. How did you ever endure those long and lonely nights?” Though the Rat’s words are sardonic, there’s an element of sincere curiousity.

Sorrow weighs down the Marquis’ features. “I could not bear to have another as my Marchioness. The regret and guilt were crippling. My loneliness and suffering were self-imposed, a punishment for my misdeeds.”

“Yeah, you were so lonely you were sticking your dick into every hole you could find.” LbAwea

“You know how Slowane has affected me, bébé souris. My body wants what my mind does not.”

Rin clicks his tongue and slumps back against the wall, averting his gaze. Korain’s addiction is, after all, his fault.

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“I only ever wished to devote my body to you.” The Marquis closes the wide space between them, sitting beside his Milkfang. He perches on the edge of the cot, ever elegant, ever poised. “When I am with others, you are what fills my thoughts.”

“Bullshit,” Rin says, flatly. He can’t bear to look at Korain. Not while he’s so unsteady. The man’s warmth presses into his side. He’s so soft… eG1hRc

“I am being honest, bébé souris. I have had five years to reflect upon my behaviour and myself. And with that reflection, came the realisation of my true feelings for you. I regretted letting you leave. I wanted nothing more than to find you and beg you to return.”

“Then why didn’t you?”

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

“How could I?” Korain’s voice is wretched, full of pain. “I was so deeply ashamed. How could I dare present myself in front of you, after everything I had done?”

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Tears glitter in those phoenix eyes. Despair lines that pristine visage. At this moment, there is truth in Korain’s angst. An honest reflection of his words.

Inexplicably, impossibly, stupidly…Rin believes him.

Jun’s voice swirls in the chaos. Perhaps, the man you thought had gone is in fact still alive and well. 8ByzTO

Rin presses fingertips to his mouth and glances away, heart bucking wildly in his chest. “…How do I know you won’t regress to how you were?” he murmurs. Sable lashes quiver upon the waterline. “Even if you have changed, you’re still smoking Slowane. You have no control over it, Korain.”

“Do you remember how we met?” The Marquis’ voice is soft and full of wistful affection. There’s no trace of the man who betrayed him in the worst manner. There’s no trace of the man he hates.

“…I do.”

“Ah. What a dreary day it was. Much like today.” ONVioE

The raven opens his eye. Rain lashes the brittle window panes. The lanterns flicker with a whistling draft. Reality shivers for a split second.

“I’d been beat and left for dead,” Rin mutters, absently tugging at the front of his shirt. “I got delirious, thinking that the Slums was flooded. I was so convinced that I was gonna drown. But then…you found me.”

“You remember it well,” Korain hums, tracing his spine with a delicate touch. Rin shivers and flinches, but he doesn’t move away. Not yet.

The Marquis continues, pleased by the raven’s reaction. “I brought you to the Temple. It was nothing like this of course, just little old me in this ruined palace. Oh, I’d been alone for many months, and you…you were my salvation.” His caressing hand travels to Rin’s face, stroking his delicate jawline in admiration. “Do you remember how you were so convinced of my villainy?” ZbGmy8

“You wouldn’t let me leave.” Rin swallows, his mouth suddenly dry. Every stroke leaves behind burning skin, like thin tracks of fire. “I thought you were gonna use me then kill me.”

“And I did no such thing. What would have happened if I let you go?” Korain slides his hand over a pink cheek, cupping it tenderly. He brings his face close, until their unsteady breaths mingle. “You would have died like a rat in the gutter. I saved you as you saved me. Don’t you see? We lived because of each other. Why must you throw this away, mon amour? Our bond, it is still there. We need only draw it out once more.”

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

Soft lips brush against the other. A hellebore eye widens in surprise. “Korain…” His voice is so pathetic, so tremulous, a near whine. But he has no time nor cognition for self-reproach. For the Marquis’ beautiful visage is all he’s aware of, and the wild, tempestuous inferno howling within.

“Do you not miss me, mon amour?” But Korain gives him no room to respond. Their lips meet again for a deep, melting kiss that turns Rin’s brain and body to utter mush. sSVB5a

It’s five years ago and he exists solely for this man. This man who he believes could rule the world one day. And this man, this incredible, beautiful man, had chosen him. A gutter rat. A nothing with a façade of something.

Obsession is a dangerous thing. A dangerous and enduring thing.

***

Jun returns that night in a pensive mood. As he strips out of his rain sodden clothes, he relays to Rin about Teacher Hak’s lecturing about the slipping quality of his work and Mira’s silent suspicions. rK WNf

“I just about managed to deceive them, although I do feel rather terrible about it.” Jun sighs and slips on a dry pair of pants and a simple cotton shirt. “Mira knows me well enough to see through my lies. It will not be very long before she has caught on.”

Rin idles in his cot, quietly watching the lord get dressed. He has a distracted air about him, so deep is he in his thoughts. “Hm. Not much gets past her. You should have gotten yourself a dumber maidservant.”

“One can never replace family.” Jun flaps out his wet clothes and hangs them over the edge of the wash basin to dry. “How was it today? Everyone seems rather subdued.”

“Mn. It’s…been pretty boring.” sb 8Jh

“They are probably still grieving those they have lost.”

“Probably.”

“I wonder if it was worth it. All those deaths and injuries.”

“There’s no use thinking about it anymore. What’s done is done.” 69mcxj

“Rinnie…” Jun frowns and approaches the distracted raven. He sits on the edge of his cot and leans over him, gently brushing his hair from his face. “Something has happened.”

Rin almost bolts upright, saved only by the lord’s body angled over him. He scowls and pushes at the latter’s chest. “Nothing’s happened,” he grumbles, irritation spiking when he’s unable to move the other’s dense body. “Stop acting so fucking paranoid. I can take care of myself.”

“Then what is the matter? You do not seem fully present.” Jun strokes his lover’s temple, brows knitting in worry.

Rin’s breath catches in his throat. Those goldens are all-consuming, dragging him into their honeyed pools. “…Sorry,” he mumbles, unconsciously leaning into the lord’s touch. “I am. Present, I mean. I’m just…tired.” e42YP

A faint smile softens Jun’s visage. He leans down and prints a kiss upon Rin’s forehead. “No more midnight escapades,” he gently chides. “Rest for tonight.”

Rin pinches his little lord’s collar, tugging him down to the cot. Jun complies, laying beside as he embraces him securely.

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

“I’ve been thinking,” Rin hums, rubbing his cheek against his lover’s broad chest. “That you might be right. About Korain.”

Jun blushes as the raven unabashedly nuzzles him. “How so?” cVylN1

“…I see traces of him. The way he was when I first met him. Even though he’s still smoking Slowane…I think he really does want to make things better in the Slums.” There’s a modicum of caution as he says this, as if he were walking a tightrope, and a misstep would mean certain death. “I feel so stupid for believing him.”

“There is nothing stupid about wanting to believe someone.” Jun pauses, brows furrowing in consternation. “Learning to trust others is a good thing, Rinnie. If people were more trusting, then surely there would be far less conflict and suffering.”

“It’s not easy,” Rin mumbles, tilting his head to catch his lover’s troubled gaze. “But I like the way you see people. I like the way you see me. And…I want to know what it’s like.”

“You trust me, do you not?” 4ydDas

“I do.”

“And thus far, we are both intact.”

“We’re alive, if that’s what you mean. Not too sure about intact.”

“Do you regret trusting me?” 3dzK2b

“…No,” Rin huffs, pecking the lord’s strong jawline. “That’s why I’m giving Korain a chance. Like you are.”

Jun smiles and catches the raven’s lips, the kiss soft and chaste. “I am proud of you, Rinnie.”

“What do we do now, then? Since we’ve both decided that Korain’s not a threat, there’s no point in us being here anymore, right?”

“On the contrary. I believe we are where we should be. If the Marquis has plans on bettering the Slums, then it is my duty to assist him however I can.” mNpyob

Rin grimaces and knocks his chin into the man’s chest. “But that could take years.”

“If we pull together a proper stratagem, we may see changes come into effect rapidly. From what I have thus far gathered from the Hounds, progress is already being made. There is a shipment of supplies to be delivered through Taecho to the Slums.”

“A shipment of what?” Rin twists his lips to the side, incredulity spreading across his visage.

“Food, medicine, clothes, and so forth. Necessities for survival.” ACSU6

Rin blinks at his little lord in startlement. “Korain never said anything about that..”

“He seems a more humble man than he appears.”

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“Humble…is not a word I’d use to describe him, no.”

Their shared mirth bounce off the stone walls and eases the tension in the room. The stuffy feeling in Rin’s chest dissipates, allowing him to breathe. GfXTg

“Ah. Before I forget. I dropped into the Clinic on my way here,” Jun says off the tail end of their mirth. “Both Bellow and Small have recovered rather well. They will be allowed to leave soon.”

“I didn’t know you guys were so chummy.”

“Indeed we are. Though I suspect that if you were to visit, Guildmaster Iris may attempt to enact more violence against you.”

“She still blames me for what happened,” Rin says, bitterly. “Did you tell her that it was all Pug?” B4uanc

“I did attempt to correct her prejudice, yes.”

“Attempt.”

“You are her favoured scapegoat.”

“I’m everyone’s favourite scapegoat,” Rin says in dry amusement. “Small walking?” 062OoY

“With a crutch. The Healers say that he may develop a noticeable limp.”

The raven buries his face into Jun’s chest, vision obscured by shade.

Jun brings his hand up to palm the back of Rin’s head, petting those fluffy raven locks. “You do not blame yourself, do you?”

“No,” Rin growls, voice slightly muffled. He’s silent for a time. And then, lowly, he says, “I should be more upset.” ErBaWm

“About Bellow and Small?”

“Mn. They’re my people. I should be more angry, right?”

“You do not need to feel any certain way, Rinnie.”

“What about Vex? Should I be grieving Vex?” XCYheu

“Rinnie.” Jun raises himself onto an elbow and gazes down at the raven worriedly. “What is this about?”

Rin flips over onto is back and throws both hands beneath his head. He stares at the ceiling, listening to the eerie whistle of the draft.

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He wants to tell Jun that ever since he brought him back from his mother’s clutches, he hadn’t felt the same. It’s as if his emotional responses are muted. There is of course, the events that thrust an emotional high upon him like a douse of fuel on embers. Vex’s death. Crow’s death. Korain’s kiss. Jun’s wamrth. They stimulated him to the point of filling those empty spaces within his soul. Packing the wounds temporarily to give the illusion of being whole.

The rest of the time, he’s at a zero. A flatness that dampens his experience of reality. Nuwa told him that it’s terminal. His wounded soul will only fester and spread as more time passes. 70zdrH

And what happens when it takes everything away from him? Every scrap of precious humanity that he’s clinging onto so desperately? What happens when it takes away his little lord?

There’s that sobering thought that lingers at the back of his mind. His feelings for his little lord are tenuous. They are not forevermore. There’s a chance that he will forget his vow. His purpose. And the terror this thought produces is bone deep and primal.

“It’s nothing,” he lies, giving his little lord a reassuring smile. “I’m just tired. Not thinking straight.”

Jun sighs and sweeps his thumb over the dark shadows beneath Rin’s eye. “You have not been resting well,” he agrees, quietly. “We can speak more on this tomorrow.” aUnMrC

The raven hums and reaches over to caress Jun’s jawline. His fingers leave feathery touches, ending at his beautiful, generous mouth. The lord’s eyes darken and he nips those explorative fingers.

Rin’s hand flinches away, heart thudding. Something about this feels wrong. Is wrong. Korain’s taste lingers in his mouth.

Jun palms the raven’s lower belly, hand travelling down to the waistband of his pants.

Rin’s organs shrink and shrivel. He grabs his little lord’s wrist to stop him from going further. He glances away, cheeks turned pale. J1GeM0

There’s a shivering moment of alarm, then pure shame overcoming the noble. To think that his touch would be rejected, revulsed, violating – it sends a nauseating twist through his stomach. What did I do wrong? Why is it different this time?

“…My apologies, Rinnie.” Jun removes his hand and slides off the cot, returning to his own.

A tense silence creeps back in, pushing the rift between them further apart.

Rin turns to face the wall, curling into himself. Just for tonight, he thinks, desperately. Just for tonight, I’ll let myself be weak. FmJHjw

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7 comments

  1. I really don’t like korain and i won’t trust a single word that goes out of his mouth 😒