I was originally an idle loose immortal in heaven who received the title of Guang Xu Yuanjun. The title sounded awkward so every deity in heaven called me Song Yao Yuanjun.
Song Yao was my original name before I attained immortality.
When I was in the mortal world, I was also a relaxed and unrestrained man. A reckless youth who paraded himself through towns and wasted everything for romance. Originally I had never had any connections with Daoism. On one particular day when the Supreme Old Lord opened his furnace to retrieve some pills, he made a serious blunder and dropped a golden elixir onto the mortal world. Said elixir pill happened to fall into a pot of soup from a certain noodle stand at a market street. The stand’s owner simply thought what fell was a bird dropping, he stirred the pot with a big ladle and then scooped the soup into a bowl of noodles.
That unfortunate customer who ate the noodles, that was me.
Even now I greatly admired the raging hunger that which blurred out my vision. An elixir pill the size of a rat turd was swallowed just like that with the soup.
Thereupon, that very night at the first spread of dusk, the three splendors condensed on top of my head. Immortal clouds emerged under my feet and I soared up.1
From then on, I became an immortal.
When an immortal messenger led me to Ling Xiao Hall to formally greet him, the Jade Emperor told me: “Immortals have immortal roots. Some cultivated it, or had it from birth, and then there are those who picked it up.”
Immortals who picked up their immortality for free have no title to be given to them. So, the deities in heaven conveniently called me by my name, Immortal Song Yao. After the land in mortal world’s far east turned into sea and back to a piece of land for several turns I was graced by the Jade Emperor with a promotion; he bestowed me the title of First Lord of Infinite Void(Guang Xu Yuanjun). The many fellow immortals who had already become accustomed with calling me Immortal Song Yao(Song Yao Yuanjun) couldn’t spit out the words ‘Infinite Void’ when they see me so they all continued to greet me as Song Yao Yuanjun. Over time, even I myself had forgotten about that title.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
One day, Dong Hua Dijun arranged a tea banquet and a decorous card was delivered, formally asking for Guang Xu Yuanjun’s attendance. I held out the invitation as I asked the blue messenger bird, “Who is this Guang Xu Yuanjun? How come his invitation was mistakenly sent to my Song Yao Yuanjun residence?”
The mortal world had a saying, ‘As free and leisurely as gods’. Immortal acquaintances are many yet the time we have is but a fleeting moment. A day passed then another, until one particular day Taibai Jinxing arrived at this immortal lord’s residence and said that he was here to deliver Jade Emperor’s secret decree to me. In the garden of the Xuan Lu palace, Taibai Jinxing floated on a cloud as he explained to me, for the crime of Tian Shu Xingjun’s affair with Nan Ming Dijun, Jade Emperor had cut their immortal roots at the execution platform2 and both gods have descended to the mortal world.
Such an unusual matter was unheard of in hundreds and thousands of years, *I was naturally stumped at first. After that, of course, I’d ask about the most important part: “Is the affair between Tian Shu Xingjun with Nan Ming Dijun…. not both of them seducing a goddess……?”
Jinxing didn’t make a sound.
*I smiled uncomfortably, “Just as the cut-sleeves in the mortal world….” When you look for it, these things are not such a rare occurrence. But what was unexpected was that it was that Tian Shu Xingjun and that Nan Ming Dijun. Tsk, tsk, Nan Ming Dijun usually carried a solemn expression and put on airs, whereas Tian Shu Xingjun himself could be described as immaculate and elegant. The two had always regarded me with disdain as someone who had ascended without doing anything. How could such a thing happen? However, the two of them being together was actually very fitting.
Jinxing said, “Still, both lords’ crime can’t be settled like that. The Jade Emperor was merciful in giving them another chance to make amends. He will let them experience many love trials for their entire mortal lives. If they can see through heart demons and repent, they may once more cultivate path of immortals to enter heaven. As such, Jade Emperor had issued an edict to ask Guang Xu Yuanjun to travel down to the mundane world as well.”
P kjr raeccfv, “Qts?”
Alczlcu rwlifv ktlif ragbxlcu tlr yfjgv. “Coafg atlcxlcu la bnfg, Ajvf Swqfgbg jrrfgafv atja Tejcpec lr atf wbra relajyif ab yf tjcvfv atf ajrx bo vfrmfcvlcu jcv rfaalcu eq atf agljir.”
I understood. *I had some issue with Nan Ming Dijun and Tian Shu Xingjun, old Jade Emperor must have chosen me for that point.
Zs ygbkr oeggbkfv, P rjlv klat j rlut, “P’nf yffc mibrf klat ybat tlut ibgvr obg atberjcvr bo sfjgr, tbk mjc P tjnf atf tfjga ab qeclrt atfw klat agljir.”
Jinxing said, “Jade Emperor has already spoken with me. Yuanjun voluntarily descends to the world to point out the way for his fellow immortals. The edict states that upon returning to heaven, Guang Xu will be personally conferred the title of Celestial Lord(Tianjun).” He smiled while stroking his beard, “When they return to heaven, Tian Shu and Nan Ming will become loose immortals. They will also be handed over to be under Guang Xu Tianjun’s guidance.”
Jade Emperor’s terms were pretty good, descend once and *I would be granted a higher ranked title. People say ‘an immortal god peacefully lets things run its course’. Using this fleeting chance to rise in rank can still be considered a good thing. I sighed again. “Fine. Though it burdens my heart endlessly, being appointed with the supreme celestial law I have no choice but to bring heartache upon my fellow immortals. I shall reluctantly do this.”
Nearly seven days later the Jade Emperor also sent Ming Ge Xingjun to instruct me on what I was to do during my time there.
Upon the banishment of the two, Jade Emperor had prepared a body for me in the human world. The role that I will be playing was to be the mountain blocking the road of love between Nan Ming and Tian Shu, the big sturdy club beating a pair of yuanyang. In this life, Nan Ming Dijun was born as a heroic man known for his valiant bravery. Tian Shu Xingjun was born as a delicate elegant literary nobleman. Old Yue pulled on the string of fate, as thick as a finger, and tied a big tight knot between their names.
The seed of love between the two was deeply planted from a young age. Their feelings for each other was sworn in front of the gods and would last even after the end of time.3 This immortal lord simply had to be a thick bar wedged in between them. I will break up the two young lords’ time together and interrupt their mutual correspondence, they may not meet in life nor can they be together in death.
In this lame drama, no matter how I think about it I feel that I’m the one who should go up the execution platform.
A dozen more days passed and the time to descend arrived. Many fellow immortals saw me off to the southern celestial gate — in front of the gate, I took Heng Wen Qingjun’s hand. “For this trip, I’ll return in a few days. Leave some wine and food at my residence for me, if you can.”
Heng Wen Qingjun’s eyes squinted as he smiled, ”Rest assured, I will surely leave some for your welcome back feast.” He retrieved his hands and moved to pat my shoulders, leaning closer. “But going down this time you must strongly guard your principles. Steady your immortal essence, your immortal root definitely cannot waver laying with Tian Shu Xingjun every night.”
Baffled, I said, “What?”
Heng Wen Qingjun’s elegant smile crumbled altogether. “Still pretending. Who in the whole heaven don’t know about it. The border ruler’s son who you, Song Yao, will be turning into will fall for Tian Shu Xingjun. Jade Emperor punished him to have all his of yearnings unfulfilled and your task is to keep him in the back of your residence. Every day staying close by his side, every night sleeping on the same bed.”
Jade Emperor swindled me! Ming Ge Xingjun clearly didn’t mention this issue to me!
Heng Wen raised his arms to block my way. “What are you doing?”
I stopped his movements with a sentence, “Looking for Jade Emperor. I’m not doing this task anymore!” That old man Jade Emperor, tricking me into sleeping together with Tian Shu!
Heng Wen said, “Things have already reached this stage and only now do you say don’t want to do it. It’s long been out of your control.” His laugh was one that delighted in the misfortune of others’. A strong wind swept in, *I lost my balance and tumbled down the celestial gate.
 a) Three splendors on the head: the state of the human body refined, matter, energy, and spirit are unified, the old body is cast off to turn anew and the person ‘enters a divine state’; b) Immortal clouds: the cloud immortals ride to get around ↑
 Zhu Xian Tai: Zhuxian Terrace, Cut Immortal platform. Tell me if you prefer Zhuxian, I thought it’s more ominous as ‘execution platform’. ↑
 a)你情我愿 ni qing wo yuan: you will it, I’ll follow/where one goes the other follows I simplified it too much but know that their relationship is this sort of devoted love; b) oath of mountain and seas: oath of eternal love; c) seas dried, stone gone soft: end of time ↑