Right as Wu Sheng and Qian Ai were having their “deep stare-off” with the lion, the sky outside suddenly darkened. The darkness came so suddenly that it was as if someone had taken a piece of black cloth and wrapped it over the aeroplane.
It took Wu Sheng by surprise, and he was still distracted when a breeze flew towards his face.
“Careful—”
Before he could react, he found himself thrown into the seat by Qian Ai, and at the same time, something seemed to fly over his head, landing with a loud thump on the nearby floor.
The lights within the cabin flashed on.
Wu Sheng looked past Qian Ai and saw the lion standing in the aisle. Had he moved one second later, he’d be beneath its claws right now!
And yet still, it was standing just a mere paw-length away.
Roar—
The lion let out a frustrated howl at having missed its target, then arched its body and charged like a flash of lightning, coming straight towards them!
This time it was above them; Wu Sheng and Qian Ai were squished in the gap between two rows of seats, and there didn’t seem to be any way out.
Wu Sheng found it strange that Qian Ai, who was so paranoid and careful, was calm in this moment and didn’t seem to mimic his own hopelessness. Rather, there was a steel-clad determination in his eyes as if he was betting on this one last resort—
“Biang Biang Noodles!!!”
Shock went through Wu Sheng’s heart like a thunderbolt. They’re here, on the brink of life and death, and this guy is yelling about food?! But too late, for his perpetually quick brain was already sending images of Shaanxi’s famous “belt noodles” through his head.
Really, he had to thank Kuang Jinxin for putting such a delectable memory in his brain, because earlier that night, they’d sat at a restaurant near the hotel and the boy had picked up the minimalistic menu and immediately decided on precisely this special dish.
Wait.
Wu Sheng’s brain continued spinning, and he seemed to connect the dots. He had always believed that all of their items were one use only, but from the looks of it, Qian Ai’s “Words of Pearls” was still effective?!
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
As if proving itself to him, as soon as Qian Ai’s holler went out, three large wooden characters fell from the ceiling over their heads! Besides 面 (noodle), two other identical Chinese characters came down, each character consisting of so many strokes that it was ridiculous; rather than say they were characters, it was more accurate to say they resembled ludicrously intricate tattoo designs carved into blocks of wood, the design so dense that there was almost no gaps in the wood. They were just like solid blocks of wood!
The three giant characters came down between them and the lion amidst the flickering cabin lights; landing over the seat backs. The lion crashed straight into the row of characters and let out a muffled roar. Its back paw shattered “noodle,” yet its front paws couldn’t do a thing about the two “biang” characters!
Pa kjrc’a atja atf ilbc kjrc’a ragbcu, la’r atf ojma atja atja mtjgjmafg lr rb yeuufv! Zjvf eq bo j glvlmeiber cewyfg bo ragbxfr, rdelrtfv abufatfg lcab j vfcrf wfrr, mjc’a fnfc yf obecv lc j vlmalbcjgs… yea jr j qlfmf bo jgwbeg, la gfjiis lr fdelnjifca ab atgff kbgvr larfio, jcv kf’gf ajixlcu atgff kbgvr mbwqbrfv bo bnfg oloaffc ragbxfr fjmt. Ktf gfrajegjca bkcfg tjv abiv atfw atlr rbcu obg gfwfwyfglcu tbk ab kglaf “yljcu”—
¹A dot in the sky, two bends in the Yellow River, make an eight and open wide, place a yan inside. You twist, I twist, a chang for you, a chang for me. Place a Horse King in the middle, a heart at the bottom, a moon at the side, don’t forget a hook to hang the sesame bars. Then it’s off to the cart, off to stroll Xianyang.
Wu Sheng: “I’ll count to three, let’s flip the wood and the lion all at once.”
Qian Ai: “And then?”
Wu Sheng: “We make a break for economy class.”
Qian Ai: “I like this idea.”
Five minutes ago, economy class cabin.
Crying wives with tearstained faces, screaming kids with naughty faces, suitcases fell from their places; balloons flew in the air, flight attendants chased in despair, a bag of cash burst into flames with flare.
It took Xu Wang every ounce of willpower and mental sanity to make it to Feng 54 and Hua 55’s row, and by then, he was completely done. Was it possible to get a solution just by using their mouths? Either way, he didn’t get a thing. All he felt was exhaustion down to his internal organs.
“What’s wrong with you?” Feng 54 suddenly paused in the middle of their conversation and stared at Xu Wang timidly. “Do you think I’m weird?”
Xu Wang let out a fatigued sigh, then forced a smile on his face. “How could I?” he said with a wave of his hand.
Feng 54 lowered his head and remarked, “Everyone thinks flying during daytime is safer, but I like red-eye flights.”
Overnight flights, otherwise dubbed “red-eye flights” by the general populace, got its name from the fact that passengers are unable to rest well on planes, so when they disembark, their eyes are red from exhaustion—Feng 54 had just informed Xu Wang of this fact.
“Young hipsters like you are just obsessed with these types of insubstantial feelings, and sense of ceremoniousness,” interjected Hua 55, who was sitting next to Feng 54. “It’s a flight, what does it matter whether it’s daytime or nighttime? It’s not like you’re the one flying the plane.”
Hua 55 was an outgoing young man, slender and long-legged with a Western air, his air dyed milky grey. He was quite a pretty boy and evoked the protective nature of all those who encountered him.
As long as he didn’t open his mouth, that is.
The phrase “silence is golden” meant absolutely nothing to this guy, who managed to interrupt Xu Wang and Feng 54’s two-minute conversation at least five times. He was a master at somehow making every single topic about himself.
But the thing was, Xu Wang truly was not interested in this guy’s stories!
“Take it from me, you’ve got to go after things that are solid and real, that you can touch and feel,” Hua 55, likely sensing that Xu Wang was not a particularly receptive audience, turned his sermon on to Feng 54, “The important thing about life isn’t how long it is, but how wide it is. That way, when you think back on the past, you won’t feel regret over how bland and boring it is. You’ll be able to say, upon the moment of your death, that you put all your life’s energy towards the most glorious things!”
Feng 54, who’d shrunk back, raised his head for the first time and looked Hua 55 in the eye. A gleam flashed across his eyes. “W-What’s that?”
Hua 55 leaned in close to him. “Sen-sual-plea-sures.”
Feng 54: “…”
Xu Wang clutched a hand to his chest. To think that just a second ago, he’d even managed to harbour a tiny ounce of hope for Hua 55. He didn’t even need another person, he slapped himself in the face.
“But it’s not as if I have the right to lecture you,” Hua 55 suddenly said, changing gears. He turned his head up towards the lights on the ceiling and sighed. “I’m all talk, but when it comes to action, I’m a failure. Sigh——” He let out a breath as if blowing rivulets of smoke from his mouth, “I want to experience having a speedy burst of passion in the mile-high club too, but a pity, I’m just a pear blossom fallen after the rain, unable to find my begonia…”
“Oh, that’s enough!” Xu Wang had had enough. What the heck was this guy going on about? “Do you know how that stuff works or not? I’ve never experienced it before but even I know that speed is inversely proportional to passion!”
Hua 55 blinked, and then a light bulb seemed to flip on in his head. He turned to Xu Wang with shining, starry eyes as if he had just been blessed by the answer to the mystery of life. “Yo, you—”
He probably meant to compliment Xu Wang, but before he could get any further, a stampede of screaming passengers suddenly burst out of the business class cabin.
There were about ten or so people, running like their lives depended on it, and they headed straight for the back of the plane where they congregated, concealing Kuang Jinxin and the prisoners in the purple circle in the crowd. The terrified passengers didn’t even notice them. They ran with their heads turned back, and kept running until there was no further path for them to run on. Once at the back of the plane, they swiveled around and stared in terror, eyes fixed on the other end of the aisle, where economy class connected to business class.
Xu Wang was stuck in the middle of the cabin, squashed to the side trying to make way for the running passengers. As they ran, he looked first to his right at the horrified people in the back of the plane, then to his left at where the two cabins met, and he swallowed unconsciously, getting an ominous feeling.
Just as the last hair rose along his back, darkness descended.
Xu Wang didn’t dare move and forced himself to stay put, although his heart had already crept into his throat.
Fortunately, a few seconds later, the cabin lights flickered on again.
The seats, the passengers, and the suitcases all gradually came back into view, but somehow, there was something in the air that was different from the brightly lit cabin of a few minutes ago. It was still dark outside the windows. The lighting within the cabin was lit just barely, giving the space the tranquil yet cunning ambience of the night.
“Red eye… flight?” Feng 54 muttered to himself suddenly, his voice uncertain, yet with a trace of anticipation.
Xu Wang glanced at the lights speechlessly, then finally connected the chain of events that led to this outcome. He turned and patted Feng 54 on the head. “Congratulations, you got your wish.”
Considering the number of catastrophes he’d experienced earlier, Xu Wang felt from the bottom of his heart that he could at least handle this tiny little wish of Feng 54’s; after all, no fires were started, no violence was instigated, there was no no battle between wives, and no suitcases fell. It was tame enough for a children’s playground.
At the moment, he was far more concerned about what was happening in business class.
Something big must’ve happened for so many passengers to take refuge here, and even though he had faith in Wu Sheng, they were still teammates and old classmates. It would be remiss of him to not go and check things out…
Roar roar roar———
…Or maybe that was a bad idea.
“Xu Wang, out of the way!”
Wu Sheng appeared, and Xu Wang obeyed without thinking, forcing himself straight into Hua 55’s seat. Wu Sheng and Qian Ai ran into economy class as soon as his butt hit the chair. Following just a meter behind them was a huge lion!
“What the hell is happening???” Xu Wang was about to have a break down—he felt it was necessary to apologise to the entire economy class cabin’s passengers. Compared with this “storyline,” their shenanigans were the pinnacle of a harmonious society!
In the blink of an eye, Wu Sheng and Qian Ai ran halfway down the aisle, at which point Wu Sheng shouted “Now!” and, as if they’d planned it beforehand, the two of them lunged one to the right, one to the left, into the seats on either side, clearing the aisle.
Whether it was intentional or coincidence, Wu Sheng happened to have pounced into Xu Wang’s row. Xu Wang spread his arms wide to catch him and was steadying himself, having not yet had time to take in the feel of having Wu Sheng in his arms, when the man in question looked up and replied in a hurry: “A scum guy cheated, then his mistress cuckolded him on the same flight, and the guy she cuckolded him with was another scum guy whose girlfriend is a circus magician.”
Xu Wang’s head was spinning; he vaguely realised that Wu Sheng was answering the question he hadn’t yet asked.
But—
“Did you instigate this?”
“Qian Ai.”
“…There were so few people in first class!”
“Guess he went for a group melee.”
Thanks for the chapter!! 🙂
hahahaha
thanks for the chapter! <3
But what about the bomb? Lol maybe the magician can get rid of it 😛