Mr. DiorCh52 - Hold the Garlic

“And you are?” Jiao Qi asked. His face was completely expressionless.

“Remember this name. It’s the most mellifluous name in the world,” the man said, smiling obnoxiously to himself. He kissed the youth’s earlobe gently. “Dior, Nicholas, Zhang.” He emphasised every syllable, and paused dramatically in between each name. rfezlP

“… …”

He had a middle name now? Where did this come from?! Jiao Qi tapped his IntelliBrain, but Anne indicated that it didn’t know the origins of this name either. It was very possible that Dior Nicholas Zhang had pulled it out of thin air. However, given that he had addressed himself as “Ben Wang” and mentioned “feeding”, the book was probably something quite kinky.

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

The Bajiao Inc. employees who had just got off work were already desensitized to their two bosses’ public displays of affection, but they had no idea what was up with the umbrella.

“Click!” The employees themselves didn’t dare to take a photo, but a random passerby did. The camera flash blinded Mr Dior’s eyes, and he was very displeased. KXx7sU

“You wanna die?” Zhang Chenfei said menacingly, narrowing his eyes at the hapless passerby. Idiotic humans. How dare they blind him with that flashing contraption!

Jiao Qi held on tight to Big Cock Zhang, who was about to rush over and confront the passerby. He raised a hand and signalled to security to deal with it, then tugged at the very energetic Mr Nicholas and tried to make him get into the car.

This time, Zhang Chenfei broke with precedent and didn’t choose to sit in the driver’s seat. He closed his big black umbrella, then sat in the front passenger seat.

“Pardon my boldness, but are you a member of the aristocracy?” Jiao Qi said calmly, taking his time to start the engine. He was completely unfazed by this new situation.

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“Of course. Baby, don’t you recognise me?” Zhang Chenfei said, rather surprised. As one of the Kings of the Vampires, he was the ruler of the night, a prince of darkness! Despite this, there was actually a youth who didn’t know his name? He reached out to touch Jiao Qi’s soft hair, then started explaining his personal history to him.

Anne quickly gave him the search results. Vampires are blood-sucking demons from the West. They are afraid of sunlight, and they feed on the blood of humans by sucking it from their bodies.

Vampires…

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

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His Majesty the King of Vampires tousled Jiao Qi’s soft hair, and his lips curved into an enchanting smile. This poor little creature. His father had used him as a sacrifice, sending him to a King of the Vampires as a bloodslave. Luckily for Jiao Qi, he was a loving master, and wouldn’t make him suffer too much.

“From today onwards, feeding me is your responsibility. If I can’t eat my fill, I’ll eat you up. Bring me home now,” he said pompously.

“I think we should have a meal first.” The King of Vampires wasn’t going to cook for him, so they had better eat out before heading back.

The car stopped in front of a Chinese restaurant. Big Cock Zhang started to open that very conspicuous umbrella again, and Jiao Qi frowned. “Can you not open the umbrella?” he said, slightly exasperated. The weather was fine today, and opening this huge umbrella was pretty damn embarrassing. ZAb3fJ

“Of course,” Mr Dior said, closing the umbrella. He held his little slave’s hand and walked into the restaurant. “As the noble King of Vampires, I’m not afraid of sunlight at all. However, the sun will burn my pale white skin and ruin my fair-skinned beauty.”

Jiao Qi looked incredulously at Zhang Chenfei’s hand, which was about two shades darker than his. What “fair-skinned beauty” was this guy on about?

They found a place to sit in a quiet part of the restaurant. Zhang Chenfei picked up the menu and started ordering. “Duck blood in spicy sauce, duck blood vermicelli soup, and stewed rice with blood sausage.”

“… …” Jiao Qi was rendered speechless, and ordered a plate of garlic prawns. gbDukd

“Do you have any dietary restrictions?” the waiter asked solicitously.

“No garlic. Do not put garlic in any of the dishes,” Big Cock Zhang said firmly.

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“… …”

Garlic prawns without garlic? What on earth would they be eating then? Jiao Qi reined in his temper. “We’ll change it to a steamed perch in soy sauce,” he said. Wrn8d5

After the waiter left, Zhang Chenfei spoke to Jiao Qi in a severe tone. “I request that you stop eating garlic from today onwards. It will affect how you taste, and it will also poison me.”

Vampires were deathly afraid of garlic and things made of silver. Garlic could even kill the lower level vampires.

“… …”

After eating, they went back to their apartment. They had just got to the front door when the puppy started barking excitedly. Zhang Chenfei backed away. “What is that?” 9xYPGQ

“It’s Guangzong,” Jiao Qi said, opening the door. The little golden fluffball sprang out immediately, his tail wagging nineteen to the dozen as he tried to nuzzle Big Cock Zhang.

“Dammit, you actually raised a werewolf in our house?!” the King of the Vampires said, furious. He picked up the puppy by the scruff of its neck and glared at it resentfully. Vampires and werewolves had always been mortal enemies. Jiao Qi, his bloodslave, dared to secretly raise a young werewolf pup? This was obviously insubordination!

“Woof!” The werewolf Guangzong wasn’t upset at all, and happily extended a long pink tongue to lick Zhang Chenfei’s nose.

“Stop fussing. He’s just a golden retriever,” Jiao Qi said, taking the puppy away from him. He gestured to Zhang Chenfei to change into his bedroom slippers, then went to get some dry dog food for Guangzong. Ah Yi had fed him once before she left, but the little puppy was growing very rapidly now and needed a lot of food. His dog bowl was completely empty. u2zfrI

The King of Vampires stood to one side, observing Jiao Qi’s actions with interest. His foolish little bloodslave was feeding the werewolf as if it were a dog, and he couldn’t help laughing out loud. “Fine, I’ll let you keep it,” he said. It was plain to see that this creature was of pure blood, and it was highly likely that he could become the Werewolf King in future. Rearing the next Werewolf King as his own gambolling dog would be a real hoot.

Or, perhaps he could take it one step further. He could personally turn the little puppy into a vampire dog. This way, it would be part of the noble Vampire Clan, and also be the son of the great Dior Nicholas Zhang. The Werewolf Clan would probably go bald with rage!

This was a fiendish scheme, most befitting of a great vampire like himself. But that wasn’t important right now. What was truly pressing was that night was upon them, and he had to feed.

“You’re still hungry?” Jiao Qi asked, astonished. This fellow had just eaten a bowl of vermicelli, a whole portion of stewed rice, and about half of the duck blood in spicy sauce. How could this Big Cock Zhang still want more food? iGctNa

“I eat human food for pleasure. It can’t make me full. I need fresh blood to really fill my tummy,” Zhang Chenfei said, squeezing into the bathroom and hugging his little bloodslave tight. Jiao Qi was in the midst of a shower, and he was all wet. Zhang Chenfei slowly licked the little droplets of water on Jiao Qi’s chin.

The water from the shower sprayed onto Zhang Chenfei’s white shirt, turning it translucent. The wet shirt stuck to his smoothly muscled body, bringing his excellent physique into sharp focus.

“Nn… stop messing around. I don’t want it today,” Jiao Qi said, pushing him away resolutely. That part of him had been used too frequently of late and it still hurt. He needed to let it rest for a few days, even if Big Cock Zhang did look very alluring right now.

“You’re so heartless,” Mr Dior said, leaning on the bathroom wall. He ran a thumb over his lower lip, his eyes dark with desire. He really looked like a very sexy vampire, able to lure unsuspecting youths into the dangerous trap that was himself. 6nbdOR

“Quick, take your shirt off. You’ll catch a cold otherwise,” Jiao Qi said. He averted his eyes, quickly undressed Big Cock Zhang’s clothes and bathed his husband.

When Mr Vampire came back to his senses, he found that he was holding a hair dryer and blowdrying his little pampered wife’s hair. The bath was over, and he had failed to seduce his bloodslave. Jiao Qi was lying prone on the bed and using his IntelliBrain to read the news.

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

Daddy Jiao had managed to reduce interest in that piece of news very significantly. People weren’t able to tell whether something was true or false, and were also lazy to continue debating the matter. On the other hand, that stroke of genius from Big Cock Zhang had made the game’s popularity shoot off the charts.

He opened the game app. Just as the vampire he had cultivated loaded, Big Cock Zhang shut off his IntelliBrain. Zhang Chenfei tossed the hair dryer aside. “You dare to look at other vampires in front of me?” he laughed. He wasn’t angry at all. 1doqAk

“Huh?” Before Jiao Qi could react, Big Cock Zhang picked him up and flipped him over, pressing him down on the soft blankets.

“I want you to know this. You are a sacrifice given to me by a mortal. If I want to enjoy your body, you have no right to refuse!” Zhang Chenfei said. He tugged Jiao Qi’s fingers over, sniffed them, then bit at them lightly. “Ah. The sweet, sweet blood of a virgin girl,” he said, looking intoxicated.

“I’m not a virgin girl,” Jiao Qi said blandly. His expression didn’t change as he watched his husband.

“Ah, my mistake. I meant, the sweet, sweet blood of a virgin boy,” the King of Vampires said. He knew when to admit his wrongs and fix them. The great King smiled as he kissed his bloodslave’s lips. d3AWYE

“I am also not a virgin boy,” the little pampered wife said matter-of-factly.

“… Fine.” A prince of darkness did not lose his elegance simply because he was cut off this way. He continued to speak in that same theatrical manner. “Ah, the sweet, sweet blood of my little lewd doll.”

Translator's Note

This was previously translated as a “Smart Brain” by the previous translators I believe, but I prefer to translate it as an IntelliBrain.

Translator's Note

Ben Wang () means ‘this king’. It’s how a vassal king or a qinwang (a son of the Emperor who is not the Crown Prince) would say “I”.

Translator's Note

In Chinese, this is Zhang Dadiao, and it’s Jiao Qi’s nickname for Zhang Chenfei. The origins of this nickname were explained in an earlier chapter.

Translator's Note

Note that Zhang Chenfei refers to himself as a Qinwang of the Vampires, which means he’s the son of the Emperor of the Vampires.

Leave a Comment

22 comments

  1. Big Cock Zhang —😂😂🤣🤣🤣 Every time I recall it’s origin I laugh out again. I missed out Dior Zhang so much. Once again THANKS for the tl. I appreciate it very much!!!

    Btw, doesn’t Big Cock Zhang remind anyone of Er Bing from I have amnesia?

  2. This is the funniest danmei I’ve ever read. This novel is truly a treasure. Thank you so much for picking this up and translating humor so well. 😇